Bang Town

I, like most women, love vibrators.

I, like most women, don’t really think about when these glorious items were invented or why.

But I am somewhat of a nerd and I like to know how and why things work. Thank you playwright Sarah Ruhl.

She wrote In The Next Room, or the vibrator play” and it’s on stage in New York right now. The Broadway play, which I have not seen but read about in Friday’s New York Times, is about how women discovered the pleasure of stimulation down there.

Set in the 1880s, just after the advent of electricity, “In the Next Room” takes place in the adjoining parlor and consulting room of an upstanding physician, Dr. Givings (Michael Cerveris), who specializes in treating “hysteria” in women. A new patient, Mrs. Daldry (Maria Dizzia), exhibits all the disturbing symptoms of the condition. Sensitive to light and sound, and prone to headaches and weeping, she is ushered into Dr. Givings’s parlor by a concerned husband (Thomas Jay Ryan) who is relieved to hear a brisk diagnosis and assurances that after a few sessions of therapy his wife will be restored to full health.

I’d love to see this play and since Charlotte art folks is always bringing Broadway to the Queen City, I wonder when we can see this on stage at the Blumenthal?

Probably never.

Actually not a chance in hell that we’ll see this in Charlotte.

Remember 1996?

But I’m sure it’s interesting to see, even it the New York Daily News says it’s a buzz kill.

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, November 20, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• Sexy Cowboys and Indians at The Men’s Club.

• Head Cheerleader Party at The Estate.

• Insomnia at The Gold Club.

• BARnival at BAR Charlotte.

• Flashback Friday at The Breakfast Club.

The good people at The Frisky found this ad.

I’m willing to bet that if the good people in Charlotte and the surrounding area cleaned out their parents or grandparents attics, this phone is hidden in a box somewhere.

Don’t try calling the 800 number, it’s no longer in service.

Amy Spurlock is the founder of Lake Norman Over 45 Singles Club and she spoke with Creative Loafing about her group and the special needs that folks over 45:

Creative Loafing: What’s the difference in being 45 and single — as opposed to being 25 and single in this area?
Spurlock: There is nowhere for folk our age to go. Most of the restaurants and places, whether it’s dancing or what have you, are younger. Usually if you go to a restaurant, after 9 p.m. everybody turns 20 years old. So, that’s why I’ve chosen to do this so people could have a place to fellowship. Whether it’s girls meeting other girls to find new friends or possibly finding someone that they cared about. It’s for people our age to find a place to go and meet people our age.

What were some things that led you to starting Lake Norman Over 45 Singles?
Well, there is just nowhere to go. There are a few Christian singles groups. Other singles groups seem to be younger or older. There was no one in that middle range of 45 to 55. There was quite a bit younger. Of course you could go to a movie or go out to a restaurant, but there was no where to go to meet others unless you want to do a dating service. I think a lot of people are afraid of that.

What are some of the activities that your “Over 45 Singles” look for?
We have done some dances and we’ve gone to a few vineyards and toured the vineyards where there are hors d’oeuvres. It’s a new group, so we’re really open to any type of things, whether it be bowling or karaoke or picnicking. We’re just trying to get the group going and asking everyone what they would they prefer.

How many members does your group have so far?
I have about 300 members and I had an event Friday night where I had about 150 people. So there is a need.

If you want to join the singles group, you can do that for free, Spurlock said, by logging on to Meetup.com.

And if the member comments on the site are true, this is probably a fun group to join.

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, November 19, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• 2 for 1 VIP dances at The Carousel Club

• Rewind Thursday at Loft 1523

• Champagne Thursday at Club Onyx

• Pure Latin Ecstasy at Halo

• Craig Morgan at Whisky River

Sexual addiction is serious.

It’s just not taken seriously. People say that those who claim sexual addiction are just covering up bad behavior.

However, if you watch the latest reality TV exploitation of has-been celebs with Dr. Drew, you might think you have a problem too.

Last night Dr. Drew Pinsky paraded his latest celebs in need on HLN’s The Joy Behar Show.

As I watched the co-star of the Colin Farrell sex tape, Nicole something or other [Narain] started talking about masturbation and how she was addicted to it and once spent the whole day in bed doing it to herself.

It was at that moment that I dropped my magic wand and thought, wow, do I need Dr. Drew?

Who hasn’t spent all day in bed doing something? On the weekends, I know people who stay in bed watching SoapNet all day. There are people who sleep all day and let’s not forget people who are just lazy as fuck — do they all have an addiction and need help?

Granted, I have a personal record of six hours of masturbation, but I was just getting over a break up and it had been nearly five months since I’d had some. I don’t think that means I have a problem, I just needed to get some.

Watching Dr. Drew’s show or listening to him talk these days, he makes you think sex is nasty and wrong. What happened to Dr. Drew from Loveline with Adam Corrola?

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, November 18, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• Flirt Wednesday at The Forum

• Salsa social and free lessons

• Wet Wednesday at Leather and Lace

• Grand opening party for Liberty Restaurant

• Guys Night Out at Uptown Cabaret

Ever wanted to star in your own romance novel?

Probably not because this is the sex tape generation.

Still, if you’re one of those old school people who reads to your lover in bed, then Your Tango has the perfect gift suggestion.

The personalized romance novel trend is gaining ground, and if you’re looking for an unconventional (and financially feasible) stocking stuffer, this might the perfect treat.

The personalized romance novel is something Carrie Prejean should’ve tried instead of making her solo sex tape(s).

Maybe if Pam and Tommy Lee had — nevermind, you have to be able to read in order for this to work.

But what happens if your book falls into the hands of your reading friends? Do you even put this book on the shelf or do you leave it on the bed side?

And what happens when your relationship ends? Do you toss out the close to $50 book, bash your former lover over the head with it or read it and weep? I have a writer friend who said any time she tried to incorporate her current lover into her writing, the relationship ends and then editing a book about the person she used to love and fuck is hard.

But one good thing about a personalized romance novel is that if it ends up in the average person’s hands, your secret and passionate love life will be safe from prying eyes.

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, November 17, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• $2 dances at Club Onyx

• Tenderloin Tuesday at The Men’s Club

• Two for Tuesday at The Crazy Horse

• SIN night at Whisky River

• Kasey King’s Disco Ball at Scorpios

A recent article posted on MSNBC.com says that “spiritual women have more sex.”

Somebody actually needed to do a study to prove this? Why are there so many kids running around churches? Because people are having a lot of sex and making a lot of babies. I’m sure you didn’t think it was because these church folks were saving the babies they stopped from being aborted.

According to a research measure known as the Spiritual Transcendence Scale, those qualities are connectedness, universality and prayer fulfillment. But the data found that of the three, connectedness plays the largest role in spiritual sexuality and leads to more sex with more partners, often without the use of condoms.

Bristol Palin anyone?

So, the lesson here is if you’re looking for some nookie, skip the club and go to church or a temple.