Bang Town

Sexual addiction is serious.

It’s just not taken seriously. People say that those who claim sexual addiction are just covering up bad behavior.

However, if you watch the latest reality TV exploitation of has-been celebs with Dr. Drew, you might think you have a problem too.

Last night Dr. Drew Pinsky paraded his latest celebs in need on HLN’s The Joy Behar Show.

As I watched the co-star of the Colin Farrell sex tape, Nicole something or other [Narain] started talking about masturbation and how she was addicted to it and once spent the whole day in bed doing it to herself.

It was at that moment that I dropped my magic wand and thought, wow, do I need Dr. Drew?

Who hasn’t spent all day in bed doing something? On the weekends, I know people who stay in bed watching SoapNet all day. There are people who sleep all day and let’s not forget people who are just lazy as fuck — do they all have an addiction and need help?

Granted, I have a personal record of six hours of masturbation, but I was just getting over a break up and it had been nearly five months since I’d had some. I don’t think that means I have a problem, I just needed to get some.

Watching Dr. Drew’s show or listening to him talk these days, he makes you think sex is nasty and wrong. What happened to Dr. Drew from Loveline with Adam Corrola?

A recent article posted on MSNBC.com says that “spiritual women have more sex.”

Somebody actually needed to do a study to prove this? Why are there so many kids running around churches? Because people are having a lot of sex and making a lot of babies. I’m sure you didn’t think it was because these church folks were saving the babies they stopped from being aborted.

According to a research measure known as the Spiritual Transcendence Scale, those qualities are connectedness, universality and prayer fulfillment. But the data found that of the three, connectedness plays the largest role in spiritual sexuality and leads to more sex with more partners, often without the use of condoms.

Bristol Palin anyone?

So, the lesson here is if you’re looking for some nookie, skip the club and go to church or a temple.

We’ve all been through dry spells. And maybe getting sex feels like an emergency but to call 9-1-1? Who would do that?

Nobody, right?

Wrong.

TAMPA, Fla. – Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes.

Tampa police said 29-year-old Joshua Basso made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times.

Arrested later
He was arrested about 15 minutes later at his home late Wednesday and charged with making a false 911 call. Basso reportedly told officers that he didn’t think he would get in trouble for calling 911.

I hope while he’s in jail he will get the sex that he wanted so badly.

Remember the astronut — er– astronaut Lisa Nowak who drove across the country in a diaper?

Well, she got off for attacking the woman she considered her romantic rival with probation. The judge also made her face Colleen Shipman and apologize to her.

Nowak said:

“I’m sincerely sorry for causing fear and misunderstanding, and all the public exposure you have suffered,” she told Shipman.

Sure.

If you forgot the details of this case, here’s a quick rundown:

Nowak was having some sort of relationship with astronaut William Oefelein, despite the fact that she was married.

Oefelein and Shipman got together. Nowak found out and went ape shit. Drove from Houston to Orlando, pepper sprayed Shipman and tried to kidnap her.

Shipman said:

I knew it in my heart that when Lisa Nowak attacked me, she was going to kill me,” Colleen Shipman told Circuit Court Judge Marc L. Lubet at Nowak’s sentencing. “It was in her eyes: limitless, blood-chilling expression of limitless rage.”

Nowak should be in jail for being stupid. You were married and having an affair–how can you be angry because your side piece was getting some too?

Shipman and Oefelein have moved to Alaska — really? — to settle down. Talk about a culture shock, from no snow to snow all the time. Nowak set women back with her crazy actions. You can’t go after the other woman. If she really wanted to make a point, she would’ve maced Oefelein’s ass.

Watch her apology here.

But this video sums Lisa Nowak up perfectly:

No one stays faithful any more and everyone is upset about it, especially if you read the press. (Myself excluded, thank you very much.)

So when I saw this article on CNN’s website about monogamy, I realized that I don’t believe in monogamy either.

It’s not natural. And now I have written back up.

French author Jacques Attali in recent years wrote, “Monogamy, which is really no more than a useful social convention, will not survive. It has rarely been honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal.”

Americans get so mad and upset when a “star” cheats. But we’re the same sappy public that urges our friends and neighbors to stay with their lying ass husband, for the sake of the kids or whatever reason people give. (Sally says leave or stay, just don’t whine about it and become a victim.)

No.

If he can’t be monogamous, then why should you be? If you really want to be with him or her then why not do this:

Polyamory — the practice of having romantic relationships with multiple people at the same time with the full knowledge and consent of all involved — has been getting a lot of attention.

“We found the expectation that one person should be our everything seemed unrealistic given our day and age. … It’s oddly pressuring to set up that scenario,” said Mark, who lives in Springfield, Missouri, and is in a polyamorous relationship. (He asked that his last name not be used for privacy reasons.)

Mark, 42, has been married for five years. He and his wife tried different things to spice up their marriage, including swinging, or having casual sex with other people, he said. But they found the experience unfulfilling and decided what they really wanted was to be able to fall in love with others while staying together.

Mark dates another woman, and his wife, who declined to be interviewed for this article, is dating another man. The four of them frequently get together to have dinner or watch movies.

You met Mr. Right.

He’s old school, though. And we’re not talking just in his taste of music. He wants to be your first lover. But that ship sailed a long time ago.

No worries, you can fake your virginity, blood and all according to an article on Lemondrop.com.

A new gadget available to women in Asian and Middle Eastern countries promises to “restore” their virginity for the bargain price of $29.95. An ad claims that the “artificial virginity hymen” fits inside the vagina and oozes a blood-like liquid upon penetration, creating the illusion of a broken hymen.

The description of the device from the Web site where it is sold states: “Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groan, you will pass through undetectable.”

Granted, most American men know a woman of a certain age won’t be a virgin on her wedding night, but in countries where sex is supposed to be saved until marriage, not being a virgin is like wearing a mark of shame.

Still, unless the man has never had sex, wouldn’t he know the blood was fake? That coochie was too tight and there’s some flesh colored device in the sheets?

I’m just saying, this is wrong on so many levels.

Women should be able to own their sexuality all over the world. If you want to try out some penis before getting married, it shouldn’t be a crime. And faking virginity wouldn’t have to happen.

Sex in cop cars.

Sex with wives while husbands watch.

This isn’t a sampling of Pornhub videos, it’s what’s going on in the North Carolina Highway Patrol office.

I’m all for a man in uniform. Hell, that’s a major turn on, but State Troopers are out of control with all of these allegations of sex on duty.

Then today, it’s reported that the new leader of the highway patrol had his own sex scandal in 1987, while he was a trooper.

New State Highway Patrol Commander Randy Glover took the job with a pledge to police the troopers’ ethics. As recently as last month he told them they need to be “morally and ethically beyond reproach.”

Glover didn’t disclose until Monday that he too had failed to live up to the patrol’s standards. He confirmed in an interview that in June 1987, the patrol transferred him out of his Harnett County assignment to another post 120 miles away because he had an extramarital affair.

OK, sign me up. I want to be a state trooper.

It seems that only on this job can you do something like this:

In June, for example, the patrol dismissed Sgt. Timothy White for unbecoming conduct after finding he had a sexual encounter with the wife of a master trooper in the back seat of a car after a Christmas party. The master trooper was in the front seat at the time; White has filed an appeal to get his job back.

And, according to the News and Observer out of Raleigh, on duty sex has been considered by many troopers as ” an expected fringe benefit.”

Here I thought coming to work and writing about sex all day was a good thing. The Highway Patrol is having sex.

I’m fucking jealous.

National Coming Out Day is celebrated on Oct. 11 every year to raise awareness in the community about the lives of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. People often use this day to come out to someone who doesn’t know they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans, according to About.com.

What is it like coming out? We’re going to tell some of those stories on this blog this week leading to Sunday’s national event.

If you’re gay and tired of hiding it from your family, here are some tips on how to come out. What these tips don’t tell you is that you should expect that not everyone is going to be happy for you or on your side. Those people who can’t accept you for who you really are probably shouldn’t be in your life anyway because they are judgmental fucks.

1. Step 1

   Accept your own sexuality and make an active decision about who you want to tell, how you want to tell them and when and where to do so. Coming out to family and longtime friends is often an emotionally charged time. Your consideration for them should guide you to think about what kind of support they may need to help them process this information.

2. Step 2

   Prepare yourself to tell your parents by talking to someone else in their generation about it first. A little practice can help you focus on how you want to say things and when to be circumspect so that you don’t overwhelm your parents with too much information.

3. Step 3

   Anticipate your parents’ responses to what you will tell them. Even if they have prejudices or homophobic feelings, the most important thing that they need to hear–whether or not they realize it immediately–is that you are safe and that you are living your life in a careful and fulfilling way.

4. Step 4

   Allow your parents to ask you questions and tell you what they are thinking. Trying to anticipate their responses should not keep you from giving them a chance to have their own responses.

5. Step 5

   Give your parents time to accept the information that you share with them. Remember that it probably took you some time to come to terms with your sexuality. Even if a parent’s first response disappoints you, allow your parents a chance to evolve.

6. Step 6

   Preempt gossip and triangulated communication among family members by understanding that other friends and family members may also be discussing the issue. Communicating directly with your parents puts the focus between you and them, where it should be.

You’d think North Carolina’s largest city and county would already have a foothold in this niche market, but Charlotte isn’t on the map for many in the LGBT travel community.
Read the entire article here.

Here’s a look at the sex headlines floating around the Internet today.

1. Politician who bragged about sex said he didn’t have an affair.
2. Allergies can hurt your sex life.
3. Church to ordain sex offender.
4. Hope it was good. . .Naval officer sentenced for sex with a subordinate.
5. 8 Sex Myths about Men.