Rev. Phelps: God hates Jerry Falwell
May 17th, 2007 by David Warner in Random ActsLooking for an all-purpose hater? Get Reverend Fred! Notorious for trotting out his trademark “God Hates Fags” placards at gay funerals and military funerals, he’s now found a new target.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
I remember working at Target when Falwell came out against teletubbies.
My responsibility was the toy department and, one day while stocking Matchbox cars and G.I. Joe figures, a woman called in asking to speak to whoever was in charge of those plush talking teletubbie dolls.
“Do you control the teletubbies?!” she screeched at me. (Control them?)
“I don’t really control them,” I answered, “but they’re in my department.”
“Did you know the red one says ‘bite my butt?’ she screeched again.
“Excuse me, ma’am.”
“DID YOU KNOW THE RED TELETUBBIE WHEN YOU PUSH ITS BELLY SAYS ‘BITE MY BUTT!”
“No. I didn’t.”
“It does! It says ‘Bite my butt. Bite my butt.’ Why do you sell a teletubbie that says ‘bite my butt.’”
“What does it say again?” I was starting to enjoy myself.
“You push its belly and it says ‘BITE MY BUTT!’”
She seemed to really enjoy saying the phrase herself, so I suggested she buy one and hung up.
Then I went over to our huge display of teletubbies and pushed a red one’s belly. Sure enough, the mumbly sound that came out sounded like it said, “Bite my butt.” Of course, it could just as easily have said, “I love you.” If you’ve ever seen the children’s show you know they don’t really ’say’ anything, but make this baby-gurgling sound.
But, not surprisingly, once this spread through the grapevine, all of the red (and purple) teletubbies sold out. In fact, I never saw more than one or two at one time for the rest of the time I worked there.
Now wait until I tell you my Spongebob Squarepants story …