A Gallery of Sons of Bitches, Assholes, etc.
June 11th, 2008 by Eric Snider in Random ActsThe July issue of Esquire has a funny and insightful series of stories on epithets, with an intro by Roy Blount Jr. pining for the return of “son of a bitch” over “asshole.”
The package’s last feature is a hilarious flow chart called “A Taxonomy of Epithets,” and runs on a continuum from More Respectable to Less Respectable, giving examples of each. Here’s a taste, starting with the Most Respectable. After a consulting with my asshole colleagues, I’ve added a local name (in bold) to each category. Of course, we welcome any and all nominations to the list — local or otherwise.
Son of a Bitch: Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Bob Dylan, Bill Parcels, Vladimir Putin. Jon Gruden.
Prick: Rudy Giuliani, Bill Maher, New York Yankees. Steve Duemig.
Asshole: Bill Belichick, Barry Bonds, Mitt Romney. Hulk Hogan.
Nutjob: Larry King, Ty Pennington. Bill Keller.
Jamoke: Matthew McConaughey, Jimmy Kimmel, Charlie Sheen. Schnitt
Jackass: Carlos Mencia, Kid Rock, Brett Michaels. Buddy Johnson.
Windbag: Bill O’Reilly, Tim Robbins, Hannity. Omali Yeshitela.
Twit: Ryan Seacrest, Ira Glass. Don Germaise.
Putz: Wesley Snipes, Eliot Spitzer. Paul Tash.
Knob: Dane Cook, Rob Schneider, Dr. Phil. Brian Blair.
June 12th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
My only suggestion would be to flop Germaise and Tash.