Blurbex

Comedy legend Harvey Korman died May 29. Korman was an integral part of the talented ensemble on The Carol Burnett Show, and was often cast in Mel Brooks’ movies. Enjoy this classic scene with Korman from Blazing Saddles.

The peasants are revolting: “You said it, they stink on ice.” King Gyanendra has 15 days to abdicate throne in Nepal.

You read a news report about “baby for sale” and figure it must be from the Onion, right? Wrong.

But this report about Obama’s facial expressions is indeed from the Onion.

Finance for dummies: spending less money means you’ll have more to save.

Caught about a half hour of the Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles Show on WDAE this morning. The topic? Yep, the Rays and their sorry-ass attendance. Only a reported 10,511 (per the Rays’ website) showed up to last night’s game against the Texas Rangers, a figure that fueled today’s conversation as Ron and Ian tried to figure out why we can’t seem to support a first-place team. Isn’t this what we’ve been waiting for? A team that no longer guarantees the Yanks and Red Sox victories when they pop up on the schedule?

Callers and hosts alike brought up the familiar reasons — we’re not a baseball town, the drive to the stadium sucks if you live in Tampa, the Trop is a terrible baseball venue.

In his Riffin’ on the Rays blog post, Eric Snider opined that there are plenty of would-be fans (like himself) out there teetering on the precipice of attending more games, but have become so used to the Rays being lousy that old habits die hard.

My ears perked up when Ron said, in the light of the Rays’ attempts to get a waterfront stadium and the embarrassingly low turnout, the team should move to Charlotte or Las Vegas, where they’ll find better fan support.

So I wonder: Are we simply not a baseball town? Sure, this area is the home of spring training for many major league teams, but a lot of those fans filling stadium seats are tourists. And those that live here and attend those games carry their old allegiances. It’s not like they’re chomping at the bit for the regular season to start so they can visit the cavernous Trop and support the local boys. Could it be that no amount of winning by the Rays will translate to more than a handful of bandwagoners and true-blue fans? The Florida Marlins, who’ve won two World Series and are currently leading the NL East, have the worst attendance record in the league, with 14,520 per game. (The Rays are two spots above, at 18,180.)

Those looking for their next fix of the talented Robert Downey Jr. (currently riding the tremendous box office wave of Iron Man), will have to settle for the alleged comedy Tropic Thunder, due to be released this August. But be warned: Downey, who plays an actor who goes to extremes to play a black man, looks like the one comedic bright spot in this ham-fisted project written and directed by the painfully annoying Ben Stiller. Don’t know about you, but I’ve grown weary of Stiller’s over-the-top brand of physical comedy and his “I’m being ironically macho” shtick (Dodgeball, Starsky and Hutch). Because it’s not ironic anymore. It’s just sad. Oh well, at least his wife gets another acting gig, Marcia Brady-look-a-like Christine Taylor, who seems to have an uncredited cameo in the film.

Russian commies call for boycott of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Where was this kind of outcry against Boris and Natasha?

Sex and the City opens May 30. Cineplexes are on full estrogen alert.

Further proof that nurture trumps nature, at least where Lindsay Lohan is concerned.

Sharon Stone speaks eloquently on the whole China/Karma/Olympics/Dalai Lama thing. Cause she doesn’t “like that.” You know, that thing the Chinese are doing.

Filmmaker Sydney Pollack (Out of Africa, Tootsie) dead at age 73.

Triple Crown hopeful Big Brown has a crack in his left front hoof. Let’s hope the Belmont favorite doesn’t repeat Eight Belles’ Kentucky Derby tragedy.

12-year-old girl stung by scorpion at Wal-Mart. Always hurts like a bitch. Always.

I can now cross two more eateries off my nonexistent list of Tampa restaurants I’ve never been to before. After work yesterday, I met some friends for drinks over at Bella’s in SoHo. Later, I went (at my friend’s request) to La Teresita Cafeteria on Columbus Avenue.

Why mention these? Not to praise or criticize, though the drinks at Bella’s were fine, and the picadillo and fried plantains at Teresita were tasty. Rather, both demonstrated the polar extremes of dining atmosphere.

Bella’s was, for me, uncomfortably dark. I understand the concept of mood lighting and romantic ambience, and while I’m probably in the minority on this, I don’t like dining by the equivalent of candlelight.

From those swank environs, I drove to the relatively proletariat Teresita for some late-night grub. Unlike Bella’s, the joint was lit up like high noon. It was so bright I was antsy to leave shortly after taking a seat at the counter.

Both are fine establishments with good service, but as I drove back home over the Howard Frankland, I couldn’t help but think I’d endured two of my pet peeves of dining out at two places in one night. What are the odds?

After a 19-year absence, cinema’s most famous archaeologist is back in action with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. So was it worth the wait?

That depends on what you’ve been waiting for.

I saw the opening midnight showing of the latest Indy flick at the Park Side cineplex. And when I, along with two packed houses, left the theater just before 2:30 a.m., one thought kept buzzing in my addled brain: “That was fucked up.”

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seems to exist in one of those alternate comic-book universes rife with storylines written by an overly ambitious fanboy. It just so happens that the fanboy in this case is none other than George Lucas himself, the man-child responsible for all of the Indiana Jones stories. But KotCS is, in its own soberly perverted way, far removed from its predecessors in terms of tone and style, and is easily the most outlandish in concept of the series, from its gonzo premise right down to its action sequences. While the scenes of peril in Raiders of the Lost Ark were thrilling for their gee-whiz factor, I found myself watching KotCS in dumb amazement, thinking, “I can’t believe they had the balls to do this.”

And it’s no wonder, when you consider that the film, which is set in the 1950s, gives both Lucas and director Steven Spielberg carte blanche to indulge in the fantasies of their formative boyhood years, albeit filtered through the sensibilities of men in their 60s and accomplished with peerless craftsmanship. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a film they seem to have made for each other, their wettest cinematic wet dream for all to see.

Despite the comic-book scenario, this may be the most sober and heartwarming of the Indiana Jones movies, from its acknowledgments of mortality and the passing of time to Harrison Ford’s nuanced performance. While his characterization of Indiana Jones has long been noted for its grittiness and realism, Ford now has a grizzled, world-weary edge to him we haven’t seen before; he’s 19 years older than when we last saw him, and he acts it. The rest of the performances are also strong, particularly Shia LaBeouf as Mutt, the greaser who serves as the catalyst for the latest adventure and whose relationship with Indy is one of the linchpins of the film.

What amazes me is that most critics have praised KotCS, and not because I think the movie is a dog, — which it is not — but because it is so unlike the original trilogy, including the ways I’ve mentioned above, and in terms of Spielberg’s direction and Janusz Kaminski’s cinematography. Spielberg has been quoted on record as stating that he and Kaminski, who’ve worked together since Schindler’s List, wanted to recapture the warm, organic look achieved by cinematographer Douglas Slocombe for the first three Indy movies, but KotCS has starker, colder visuals, adding to the feeling that we’re watching an Indiana Jones movie filtered through a dream. Which is sort of the effect Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had on me, a waking dream. It was, to be sure, a surreal experience. If this is indeed the last chapter for Harrison Ford as the beloved, intrepid archaeologist, at least he went out memorably, the final scene providing a corny, old-fashioned send-off that, after all these years, feels about right.

You don’t have to be a video-game aficionado to have a laugh riot at Zero Punctuation, where Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw uploads his weekly reviews of releases both new and old. Simple, amusing and often disturbingly graphic 2D images illustrate Croshaw’s hilarious, profanity-laced, lightning-fast narration. He speaks so fast, in fact, that you’ll have to listen to each review (which lasts about four minutes) at least two or three or 10 times to truly appreciate it. Warning: This is not for the faint of heart or easily offended.

If you didn’t know that IMDB.com relies on two news services to provide its daily Movie/TV news, you might think the good folks there have a split personality regarding Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which opens nationwide Thursday, May 22.

This from news outlet Studio Briefing, which appeared on IMDB the day after the latest Indiana Jones installment premiered Sunday, May 18, at Cannes:

“Some of the initial criticism does indeed crackle like Indiana’s whip.”

The blurb then quotes critics at the festival who were disappointed with the film, followed by those gave Indy 4 positive reviews, stating:

“Most critics echo those cheers.”

But fear not, all ye fanboys who need to have your “I haven’t seen the film but I already love it” opinions validated by nearly every single critic who matters. The following day, WENN, the World Entertainment News Network, was far less equivocal, and had this much sunnier take on the IMDB site:

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has proved a huge hit at the Cannes International Film Festival on Sunday — receiving a standing ovation from critics at its world premiere.”

Granted, both news providers were offering different types of reports, with WENN giving a macro view of the premiere, while Studio Briefing got more into the details of the critical reaction . But seriously, how do you leave out that the film received a “three-and-a-half minute standing ovation”?

Alas, film critic Gene Siskel (of the Chicago Tribune) is no longer with us to parry with Roger Ebert (of the Chicago Sun Times) over the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. But for those of you who used to eagerly await each new episode of Siskel & Ebert, here’s a blast from the past, as the two titans of movie reviews give their take on the previous installment, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. While Siskel gives the film a thumbs down, Ebert’s endorsement sheds light on  his positive review for the latest Indy flick.

By Dawn Morgan

Eckerd seniors Alex Bush and Galway Traynor said they would have come to the discussion even if it hadn’t been required by their professor, Dr. Carolyn Johnston, for her Making History class. Traynor said he likes that the event is open to the community and students alike, and is interested to hear what questions the students bring to the discussion.

Steinem-era feminists and fellow New Yorkers-turned-St. Petersburgers Margaret Manzi and Linda Conesa donned sassy lids and were all smiles to be in the same room as Steinem and company.

Steinem discussed finding feminism through journalism: As a young reporter in New York, she covered a hearing to tighten abortion laws (helming the decision were 14 men and one nun) and interviewed early Second Wave feminist protesters. Steinem said, “I think you’re drawn to what you need to learn,” and cited conversations with the protesters (and especially their ease in sharing their lives and truths) that led her to become vocal about her own abortion (She was among 20 women featured in Baumgardner’s 2003 documentary I Had an Abortion.) It wasn’t until that epiphany that Steinem found her public voice. “If one in three or four” are having abortions, she thought, “why is it illegal?”

She started speaking around the country and soon teamed up with Dorothy Pitman Hughes, a black child-care activist and community organizer from Georgia. Pitman Hughes, who recalled the neighborhood ladies gathering on her porch to discuss the weekly Friday night Klan ride-bys, finally understood why all the kids had to sleep on the floor away from the windows every week. She said she knew she was a feminist when Steinem came to Georgia to interview her, but “Before that I was a revolutionary ready to kick butt.”

Amy Richards, whose mother left her father when she was seven months pregnant, said she became a feminist in utero, but it wasn’t until college that she introduced to feminist language. In the first grade, when asked if she knew the national anthem, she stood up and sang Reddy’s “I Am Woman.”

When Pitman Hughes commented on how the efforts to integrate school decades ago is coming undone, especially in Florida and in the South, Richards added it’s occurring up north as well. As a mother in NYC, she knows the good schools are disproportionately white. She said this is the time to “use ourselves as an example,” and that taking it upon ourselves to see that our children have a diverse experience is “the remaining part of the revolution. How are we contributing to the inequality and how can we fix it?”

Jennifer Baumgardner, mother of a 3-year-old, says that the school her son will go to is mostly Latino, but many white families are moving into the neighborhood and are trying to establish their own PTA, side stepping the one already in existence.

Politically, there obviously was not a Republican in the bunch. Steinem was steadfast in her support of Hillary Clinton for eight years, and then Obama for a subsequent eight years, while Pitman Hughes is an avid Obama supporter. “No president has been able to deal with racism the way I need it to be done,” she said. “I need to know that I have lived in an America that has respected me as a human being.”

Eckerd students Grace Gair and Lee Taylor, who interned at Steinem’s office last summer and organized the event, also shared the stage and lent their voices to the conversation.

By Dawn Morgan

Last night, almost 1,200 students and community members filled Eckerd College’s McArthur Gymnasium to celebrate Women’s History Month with a discussion with uber-feminist Gloria Steinem and her friends Dorothy Pitman Hughes, Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner. They spoke of consciousness-raising groups (hanging out and talking about everything from their abortions to their children’s schooling), politics and the Democratic candidates for president, as well as the history of feminism and where it’s headed.

But the big news last night was easily overlooked: USF is rumored to be giving the ax to its Women’s and Gender Studies program due to budget cuts. Panelist and journalist Jennifer Baumgardner dropped the bomb early in the evening at the press conference before the event. A Third Wave feminist, Baumgardner was editor of Ms. Magazine in 1996 at age 26 and in 2000 cowrote Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future. Baumgardner met with USF women’s studies students Tuesday to do what feminists do best: help their sisters organize. The USF riot grrls, who last year drove to North Dakota to protest a statewide abortion ban, aren’t likely to take this missionary style.

Tegan (no last name give), is a senior in USF’s women’s studies program, which may lose its status as an autonomous department.

Dr. Carolyn Johnston, director of the Women’s Studies Program at Eckerd and professor at the college for the last 30 years, told me last night that USF’s women’s studies program is a cornerstone in the Florida Consortium for Women’s Studies, a coalition of university programs throughout the state. She says that the USF program is “key not just to this area but to the whole state. They have been leaders in the movement.”

Kim Vaz, USF professor and chair of the Department of Women’s Studies, told WMNF last month that her program is “underfunded, understaffed and undervalued,” and that its “expected to achieve at the same rates of larger departments and then held accountable when we can’t achieve those goals.”

In a memo received today from USF’s communications and marketing office, Vaz wrote :

“Due to a severe budget crisis, the Department of Women’s Studies faces the potential loss of its status as an autonomous department. As the only freestanding Department of Women’s Studies in the state of Florida, and among the oldest in the nation, we believe that curtailing our autonomy will have a negative impact on our discipline and on our university as a whole.

We express our deep concern at the planned restructuring of Women’s Studies at USF and integration of the department faculty into other disciplines or the merging of the department as a subdivision of another disciplinary unit.”

Emily Reddy contributed to this blog.

Congratulations, Hillary, you’re back in the game. Or maybe not.

A new tabloid run on the cheap gets ready to hit the stands in Baltimore. Anybody laying odds on how long before this thing folds?

Will Brett Favre’s retirement decision come back to haunt him?

Just what the overstuffed world of reality television needed: a show starring Lindsay Lohan’s mom.

How many of us have wished we could do this when stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic?

Seems like in recent weeks, morning traffic into Tampa over the Howard Frankland has been slowing to a crawl once you get over the hump. Today appeared to be no different, so I made the rather hasty decision to get into the far right lane so I could take Kennedy to my digs here at Creative Loafing.

So I was more than a bit surprised (and rather peeved) when I saw the “congestion warning” sign sans blinking yellow lights. Sure enough, as I looked to my left, traffic was continuing at a steady pace – not as fast as I would have liked, but fast enough to not warrant my ill-timed decision. And there was no way for me to get back over.

So my question is this: Would it be too much to have that sign placed on the OTHER side of the hump, so that drivers know if the traffic ahead is congested BEFORE they’re in the thick of it?  Or conversely, that there isn’t a clusterfuck awaiting despite the slowdown?

Not that I want to speak ill of the recently deceased conservative icon William F. Buckley, and his positive contributions to political thought notwithstanding, but this ignorant quote attributed to him really rankles my inner Beatlemaniac.

OK, so David Warner isn’t the only Creative Loafing staffer who doesn’t know how to read the warning signs.

Any right-minded person who had to drive my car this morning from the Tyrone Square Mall area of St. Pete to CL’s headquarters on the corner of Lemon and Howard in Tampa would have taken one look at the fuel gauge and thought, “Better gas up.”

Not me.

Not that it didn’t cross my mind. In fact, I kinda sorta (read: not at all seriously) considered adding a few gallons to the tank before deciding that I was already late enough for work and should just take my chances. Chances that I considered heavily stacked in my favor.

In my defense, my car and I have had an understanding (at least I thought we did) that a needle hovering precariously close to “E” isn’t as dire as it might seem (at least I thought it wasn’t). You see, I’ve owned my ’85 Mercury Marquis for over 11 years, and in that time, I like to think I’ve come to know her pretty well. And one of the things I’ve taken for granted is that her needle usually belies the truth about how much is left in the tank. One look at the fuel gauge and she’s nearly running on empty. Glance away, look back and voila, a comfortable breathing room has appeared.
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