Blurbex

My job searching isn’t off to a good start.

I was supposed to have my first post-college graduation interview today and it went … , well, it actually didn’t go at all. I walked out completely disappointed and angry and feeling scammed.

A few weeks ago I applied for a job with the City of St. Petersburg — I won’t say which job because I don’t want the competition — and was delighted when I got a call a couple days ago to schedule an interview with someone I thought was the City of St. Petersburg. How could I have been mistaken, you ask? See the exchange below:

Stephanie: “I’m calling about a position we have available. Are you still looking for a position?”

Ben: “Weellllll, yyyess …” I said non-commitally. (At this point she hasn’t told me where she is calling from. I get a lot of job offers to sell pest control services, cars and, ironically, insurance, and I suspected it was that type of call).

Stephanie: “You don’t sound too sure about that.”

Ben: “Well I am looking, but I just graduated from college on Saturday so I haven’t really done a big search yet. Plus, I don’t even know where you are calling from.” (Here was the point at which a person with less underhanded leanings would have given me a company name, etc. Keep reading to see where the confusion lies.)

Stephanie: “I’m calling from St. Petersburg.”

Ben: “You mean the City of St. Petersburg?”

Stephanie: “Yes

I realize that Stephanie had no way of knowing I had applied for a job with the City of St. Petersburg. She just got lucky that I was actually hoping to hear from someone who was calling from St. Petersburg — not the City, but the city — you know what I mean. So you can understand my confusion today when I couldn’t find the place she sent me to — I was, after all, looking for an office of — that’s right — St. Petersburg. After driving up and down Seminole Blvd. (within city limits according to Mapquest, but still: why would St. Petersburg have an office way out there? Not a giveaway, but certainly a red flag that was on my mind ever since Stephanie, if that is her real name, gave me the address), I finally found the place and … Damn! It belongs to United American Insurance Company (see above sentence regarding irony).

In my disbelief I actually parked and went in. A quick visual scan of the place confirmed that I definitely was not interviewing for the job I thought I was interviewing for. It was a small room with eight to 10 cubicles filed with a few young dudes in suits. One guy was asking another guy, who was obviously his superior, about a problem with a customer’s policy (there may be problems for more than just one customer, as it turns out). I caught an unpleasant-smelling breeze from what I think was most likely a revolving door.

I asked and the woman at the desk by the front door said she was Stephanie. After getting my name she said she had some paperwork for me to fill out. I asked if it is for an insurance sales job and she confirmed that, yes, it is to sell insurance.

“Then don’t bother, I’m not interested.”

She asked me if I wanted Stephanie to take my name off the list (she lacks a firm grasp on the obvious, that one). I started to say “Aren’t you Stephanie?” but then decided I just wanted to get out of there so I gave her a disgusted “Yes, please do” and walked out.

I could have said it much nicer over the phone a few days ago, had I been given the chance.

Back to the drawing board. Or the Monster job boards, anyway.

(Ben Fry just graduated from USF-St. Pete and completed an internship at Creative Loafing.)

Does this mean I’m getting old?

Lately, as I’ve been flipping through stations on the radio, I’ve heard a lot of songs by bands that I enjoyed as a teenager playing on classic rock station 102.5 The Bone.

“Come on, I’m only 31! This can’t be considered classic rock,” I plead to the stifling air in the car’s cabin the first time I heard The Bone play a Metallica tune.

That’s only how it started. Metallica? OK, I guess. I mean, they’ve been together since the early ’80s and burst onto the scene in ‘83 with Kill Em’ All. I guess a band that’s been around that long could be considered a “classic.” After all, it was 25 years ago. (Hard to believe, right?)

But then I was even more alarmed when I started hearing bands from the ’90s being passed off as classic rock: Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam, among others. I was so freaked out I almost stopped listening to the radio. But then I realized I would be listening to those same bands on CD (in my car) or on tape (at home; yes, I still have a tape collection for some reason), and it was too late to stop the “am-I-really-getting- old-enough-for-this-to-happen-to-me?” question from entering my head.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of new music, and am definitely not stuck in the ’90s, but these bands were around during my coming-of-age, and so they have a special place in my life. I grew up with them, and it doesn’t seem that long ago that I was barely done growing up.

It’s just that I can’t be old enough to have listened to “classics” that were new while I was in high school.

I discussed this with a good friend of about the same age a couple weeks ago on the golf course. He agreed that it was really weird hearing these bands on the radio, being passed off as classic rock when it wasn’t that long ago that they came out.

How can this be? Do we really get old so fast? I catch myself (and cringe) when I talk about the (good old?) days when gas was around $1-a-gallon. I can remember the only slightly-annoyed sighs from people when gas would rise just over that $1-a-gallon mark.

I stopped myself recently from mentioning to someone younger than me that I used to pay $1.35 (!) a pack for Camel Lights (close to $4 a pack now). I can remember a time when the Internet was unheard of; when it was more the stuff of science-fiction that technically exists but not a part of everyday existence. I can remember my parents listening to records, actual vinyl records, when I was younger. I remember freaking 8-track tapes in the drawers of the desk in our living room.

I remember looking through my dad’s junk box as a kid, checking out his high school-era mementos and feeling like I was looking at ancient artifacts, joking that he was older than dirt, etc. He was about the same age then that I am now. Sorry dad.

At least I’m still young enough for this to freak me out, so I guess it’s not too bad. Someday I’ll be so accustomed to this sort of thing that it won’t even bother me anymore. I’ll unabashedly tell younger people “when I was your age” stories. I’ll probably tell them things like, “I remember a time when Delta didn’t even fly to the moon,” or “I remember when you needed an actual piece of computer equipment to surf the web,” or “Used to be an ID was a card with your photo on it and not something embedded in your wrist.”

And by then I’m sure I’ll be cranking Nirvana on the full-fledged “Golden Oldies” stations.

With the state of the airlines these days, combined with a (psychologically) shaky economy, paying for both airline tickets and a hotel stay is getting harder and harder for ordinary folks. For passengers with a long lay over, or worse- a long delay, it’s more likely than ever you will have to sleep in an airport somewhere.

The Web site sleepinginairports.com rates airports based on user ratings of how good they are to sleep in. TIA got a rating of 2 out of 3, which is in the “You can do it! Maybe…” category.

User postings detail experiences sleeping at TIA, along with advice on the best place to crash for the night.

“The level connecting to the airsides, 3 i think, is the best level to sleep on – it’s pretty dark by the Marriott , dark enough to sleep, and it’s away from the exit, so if any riffraff were to come into the port, they’d be spotted before they got to you,” posted one unnamed user.

Other postings offered their own advice on the best places to sleep as well as where to find food around the airport.

“My home airport, Tampa is quiet later at night and the workers in the airport are very nice. … I highly recommend it,” wrote one user.

There was no review for St. Pete/Clearwater International, but Orlando International got a perfect 3 out of 3 score.

“I have slept at Orlando International so many times in recent years that I now don’t even consider getting a hotel if I will only be in town for one night,” wrote user Tom Kerrigan.

Sleeping in the airport is never fun, but if you have to, now you can know what you will be dealing with in advance.

Maybe this is a no-brainer, but people are getting increasingly angry at work, reports Reuters.

“Desk rage”, as it is now known, is getting worse due to outside pressures like high gas prices, the recessing economy and a shaky job market. Thankfully, most of the anger issues don’t result in workplace shootings (although, just wait, now that we’re able to keep guns in our cars at work), as much as property damage, arguments, verbal abuse and lots and lots of stress.

Even staffers here at CL aren’t immune, as evidenced by our own political editor Wayne Garcia threatening associate editor Joe Bardi a couple days ago because of the extra work due to Bardi’s vacation.

“(Y)ou better believe I am taking it out on Joe’s ass when he returns,” Garcia wrote.

“Jesus, now I’m never coming back,” Bardi replied.

No word yet on whether CL’s HR department will require Garcia to attend anger management classes or whether Bardi will actually return next week.

(photo by phwadsworth)

The National Insurance Crime Bureau has released its annual report on the most stolen cars in America, and despite overall auto thefts being down (per the FBI’s early version of their Uniform Crime Report), the same old cars have made the list of most-sought-after by car thieves.

According to the NICB, the 1995 Honda Civic (right) was the most stolen car of 2007, maintaining that distinction for the past four years. I drive a ’98 Civic and I’m lucky my car hasn’t been stolen (yet), despite it getting older, uglier and more dented by the day.

All this time I thought driving an ugly old car was a good preventative against it being stolen.

However, many thieves steal certain cars for their parts rather than their bling factor. Cars that have long-term reliability (like Hondas), as well as cars with several-year streaks without a major redesign, can be valuable because their components last a long time and can be interchangeable between model-years.

Other old cars on the list (more…)

If you want to reduce your carbon footprint and save some money in your ever-dwindling fuel budget you may want to stop making those time-consuming and wasteful left turns.

This strategy has been implemented by numerous companies, including UPS, FedEX and Home Depot. UPS’s routing software, also used by Home Depot, plans routes for drivers that minimize the number of left turns a driver makes. This measure reduces idling time if drivers have to wait to make the turn. While left turns cannot be completely eliminated, left-turn reductions have reportedly saved UPS over 28.5 million miles of travel, which in turn resulted in over three million gallons of fuel and shaved carbon emissions by 31,000 metric tons.

Many companies with freight-shipping operations are changing routes and shipping methods in order to reduce transportation costs. These are necessary strategies that make shipping operations more efficient and prevent excess costs from being passed onto consumers. For now, at least. (more…)

I’m moving this weekend, so yesterday afternoon I took some time to call and schedule my cable and power services to be transferred to my new address.

I started by calling Bright House Networks first, only because it was at the top of the list of customer service phone numbers I compiled a few days ago. The process of scheduling a technician to come out early next week to plug me into the World Wide Web and my digital cable only took about 10 minutes. Sweet. Moving on.

Next up, I called Progress Energy Florida. That call started out fine but ended really weird.

After going through the menu options to ensure that my call was transferred to the proper department, I placed the order with Kyle (a real person as far as could tell). Kyle took only a few minutes to set up the order and then he transferred me to Allconnect, a trusted Progress Energy partner, to confirm and complete my order.

Instead of speaking to an actual person, as I was foolishly expecting, I was assisted by a computer cleverly disguised as a real man who went over my order with me and took down my email address to send my confirmation number and some “valuable” coupons.

I was struck by how life-like he (it??) seemed. It was like talking to a real person who wasn’t reading from a script. It’s a very sophisticated system.

When I gave him (it) my email address I didn’t spell it out as instructed, but first spoke it out of habit. Nonetheless, he (it) got it right the first time. He (it) actually spelled it correctly when he (it) read it back to me, which was impressive because I have an underscore in my email address and when I give it to an actual person I usually have to explain what an underscore is and how to make one using a keyboard. This fellow (thing) was on top of it, which is more impressive from a voice-recognition aspect than a keyboard-using aspect since he (it) is a computer and likely has a keyboard as a part of his (its) body (plus, I heard typing as I was talking to him/it).

Then things got awkward.

(more…)

Honda Motors has announced it will be soon releasing a hydrogen-electric car in California. The Honda FCX Clarity runs on a combination of a hydrogen fuel and an electric motor.

The FCX Clarity mixes hydrogen and oxygen to produce electricity to power an electric motor, which drives the wheels. The only exhaust it emits is water and heat.

Hydrogen is the most abundant element in the known universe, constituting around 75 percent of the universe’s elemental mass. In addition it also has a higher energy content per weight than any other fuel. Considered an energy carrier (like electricity), as opposed to an energy source (like gasoline), hydrogen can be added to other fuels or burned by itself.

The car gets the equivalent of 74 miles-per-gallon and can go around 300 miles on a tank. It has a top speed of about 100 miles-per-hour.

For now, the FCX Clarity is only being released in what’s-green-is-chic Southern California because there are hydrogen-fueling stations in the area necessary to keep it on the road. Honda received more than 50,000 lease applications but was limited to approving only those applicants who lived near one of three hydrogen refilling stations in SoCal.

While hydrogen is remarkably cleaner and more efficient than fossil fuels, an obstacle in the way of widespread hydrogen cell vehicles is actually making hydrogen fuel, a process which often produces the same greenhouse gases hydrogen-driven motors are designed to replace. Scientists are working on ways to use wind and solar power to make hydrogen fuel.

Another obstacle for hydrogen stems from the memory of the ill-fated “Hindenburg” — that hydrogen is volatile and dangerous. If we can use modern technology to control nuclear power, however, we would surely have no problem controlling hydrogen cell motors.

It will be interesting to see how this technology and other fuel technologies develop over the next few years as fossil fuels become more scarce (and expensive) and the oil-producing parts of the world become more volatile. Several other automobile manufacturers are working on releasing hydrogen-powered vehicles.

Honda is planning to have a few dozen FCX Clarity vehicles available for consumers this year and 200 available within three years. Three year leases will run about $600 a month.

(photo by BBQ Junkie)

June 13th, 2008 by Ben Fry

The shortage of trees in the bay area got a little shorter recently when former Tampa Bay Buccaneer/Cleveland Browns/Baltimore Ravens/New York Jets/Dallas Cowboys/New England Patriots/Carolina Panthers quarterback Vinny Testaverde cut down a few on his new lakefront Odessa property.

By a few I mean around 40 or so (not Vinny’s ex-trees pictured at left; the actual trees are now appearing in a mulch bag in a Lowe’s near you). They could have filmed an episode of Ax Men at his house. Sheesh, Vinny, why so many? There are people around here that would freakin’ kill for that many trees on their property.

The Hillsborough Environmental Protection Commission came to the rescue and cited him for cutting down the cypress trees because they were in a protected wetland area. Testaverde said he didn’t realize it was a big problem. He apparently had a landscaping company cut the trees down and they never said anything about it being illegal.

“You’ve got to rely on the advice of these people. Whoever cut down the trees didn’t do a very good job of informing him,” Clayton Studstill, Testaverde’s attorney, told the Tampa Tribune. (We did not make up his attorney’s name, we swear. Studstill.)

OK, getting bad landscaping advice is understandable. It’s puzzling that he would want to de-tree his property to any extent, but I guess I can believe he didn’t realize he was doing something illegal. And putting aside any environmental implications caused to the waterway next to his house, or any possible deed-restrictions he may have violated, or the pissing-off of his new neighbors, it is his place after all. He should be able to cut down any trees not located in a protected wetland area of his property.

As punishment, the EPC ordered Testaverde to plant 40 15-gallon cypress trees on the property within 30 days and make sure they all survive for one year. Testaverde didn’t want to replace all the trees, so the EPC caved and said he could plant 20 30-gallon trees instead, along with some herbaceous plants along the shoreline.

If he doesn’t like that, the EPC will probably let him plant a single 600-gallon tree, only mow the lawn every third week, and do the edging only in a month that ends in a ‘y’ or a consonant.

That’s wetlands mitigation for you. You know what they say, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

It will probably be a few years before Testaverde’s new trees mature enough for the property to be returned to its previous ecological state. Understandably, Testaverde’s neighbors aren’t happy about the whole mess.

I wouldn’t eat any of that house-warming pie, Vinny.

photo by saveena(AKA LHDugger)

You may want to invest in a good pair of walking shoes, because we will all be walking a lot more in the near future.

The website Walkscore.com lets you input an address and calculate a score for a neighborhood based on how close it is to grocery stores, restaurants, entertainment, schools, parks and a host of other amenities. The results are listed under their respective categories on the left side of the screen along with their distance in miles. Scores range from zero (Driving only — you can only walk to your car) to 100 (”Walker’s Paradise”).

Click on an entry and it will show you where it is located on the (Google) map, as well as provide a bubble complete with an address, phone number and a clickable link to a Google search of that entry.

Walkscore.com is especially helpful if you are moving to a new neighborhood because it helps to know the likelihood of being able to leave the gas-guzzler (aren’t they all nowadays?) at home and walk.

My own Pinellas Point neighborhood got a meager score of 51, which means that some places are close by, but a car or public transportation is still required for most trips. I could easily walk down the street to a restaurant or a drugstore, but if I was feeling picky I would need the car.

On the upside I did discover a number of restaurants in my area I didn’t know of that are within easy walking or biking distance. On the downside, plenty of the listings were for places in downtown St. Petersburg, about seven miles away, that may be within walking distance by European standards but that I wouldn’t walk to myself often.

Another major drawback, and a factor that could seriously affect walkability, is that the ratings don’t take crime statistics into account when factoring the scores. The site searches under plenty of relevant categories that would be moot if the neighborhood isn’t safe enough to walk around in.

With gas prices on the rise, however, it certainly helps to know if your new neighborhood is walkable.

(photo by alexandralee).

A friend e-mailed a YouTube video to me today, showing a group of folks popping kernels of corn with their cell phones. There are actually several of them spiking everybody’s interest, and here’s a typical one:

Here at the office, we were intrigued and a little freaked out. If a few cell phones could pop corn in seconds, just imagine what cell phones are doing to our brains (and that would actually explain a lot).

We had to try it, but after an exclusive Creative Loafing investigation, as well as consulting other investigations, it has been confirmed this is indeed a hoax. You may proceed trying it at home.

In the interests of good (pseudo) science (performed by non-scientists), we recorded the entire experiment from the beginning:

As you can see, it didn’t work. It is possible we did something wrong, but that is unlikely. We may be journalists, but we know how to put cell phones in a circle, drop corn kernels in the middle and coordinate four people to call those cell phones simultaneously.

So for help, I called a physicist.

“I have no idea what the energy density of a cell phone is … (but) the energy probably isn’t high enough to pop a kernel,” said Matthias Batzill, a professor of physics at the University of South Florida.

A certain amount of heat is required to pop corn and the minimal amount created by a cell phone would quickly dissipate, Batzill said. It wouldn’t get hot enough to pop the kernel.

The YouTube videos look pretty convincing, but so does David Copperfield’s magic and I know that the Statue of Liberty is still in New York. A part of demystifying the hoax is figuring out how it was done.

“I have no idea” how they are doing it, said James Randi, of the James Randi Educational Foundation, a group that investigates pseudoscientific claims.

He suggests some type of heat source was placed under the table that pops the corn. That seems like the most obvious explanation; however, the cell phones would likely melt or the table cloth would get too hot.

Batzill said it may be possible someone could take a microwave apart and use the parts to heat the corn, although he said he doesn’t believe anyone could actually do it. In addition, he knows of no types of waves or heat sources that could pop the corn but not damage human flesh in the process.

Randi said he thinks people produce these types of videos to get media attention and then they go away after the media gets bored with them. He said he has been getting calls all day about the popcorn videos but he hasn’t seen them yet and doesn’t know how they are made. He is sure the producers have used some kind of sleight-of-hand and this is another scam.

“Videos like this aren’t hard to make,” said Randi. “You can produce a videotape to prove anything you want.”

A Polk County middle school teacher was arrested on Thursday for allegedly having sex with students, the latest in what is turning out to be an ongoing trend.

Stambaugh Middle School teacher Danielle Jones was charged with four felony counts of having sex with a minor. According to the police report, Jones had sex with four students. Two of the minors were her former students and the other two were their cousins.

What the hell is going on around here, anyway? Do kids these days have mad game, or are these preda-teachers just really desperate?

The victims, all between 14 and 16 years old at the time of the incidents, were all able to describe specific details of Jones’ apartment including holes in the walls and the location of sexually-related items such as handcuffs and lubricants. This information was confirmed by the investigating officer.

Jones allegedly picked the victims up in her car from various locations and brought them back to her apartment for sex. Investigators recovered over 50 communications between Jones and the students from her MySpace page where Jones referred to herself as “Momma” and the victims as her “sons.” She also spoke with them by cell phone conversations after she allegedly gave the students her digits.

Jones was placed on administrative leave on May 19. In January, she had been warned in a letter from Stambaugh Middle School principal Allison Kalbfleisch to avoid allowing male students visit her classroom “before, during and after school hours … for visitation, hugs, tickles and flirtatious non school-related conversations.”

Jones remains in jail in Polk County without bond. If convicted, it is unlikely Jones would be found to be too pretty to go to prison.

(Warning: this is more of a rant than a review and it contains some pseudo-spoilers.)

I know it’s been a week since the new Indiana Jones movie was released, but it has me still scratching my head. Mainly because I like it and I don’t like it at the same time.

I just don’t know what to think about it.

Ultimately, the movie has some good aspects. It was nostalgic for the original trilogy; that was good.

It still has the anti-hero common man that we all love to root for (even though we know he will win in the end; really, we ought to root for the villains since they don’t stand a chance against Indy); that was good.

There was plenty of smart-ass humor and comedic elements in the action scenes (snake-rope anyone?); that was also good.

Also good: the film stayed true to Indy’s character as it was in the first three installments. It was even interesting to find out what Indy had been up to over the last 20 years (international espionage, anyone?; somewhat gratuitous, but it makes sense considering Indy’s character and his being so well-traveled).

All this was good. But . . .

Did it seem to anyone else that Spielberg & Lucas relied too heavily on BIG SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER themes and devices (see: aliens and extremely unlikely action scenes)? Did anyone else cringe and/or groan during the “swinging-from-the-vines scene” or the “incredibly-huge-series-of-waterfalls scene” or the “bushes-to-the-balls-while- straddling-two-jeeps-while-moving-at-high-speed-and-sword-fighting scene”?

Maybe all that was in lieu of having to actually write a really good movie?

Did anyone think that maybe the movie’s title should have been “Indiana Jones and the Big Adventure You’ve Seen Before Along With Hints That We Will Try To Recreate The Franchise With a Young Actor Who We Hope Will Fill Harrison Ford’s Shoes!”?

I don’t know why I was expecting something better. I’m not even sure it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Hell, I might have even liked it . . .

. . . I just don’t know.

Check out this video of a slight miscommunication at the Spelling Bee 2008.

The funny thing is, this kid acts like he’s never heard the word “numbnuts” before; which is kind of funny because he’s in a spelling bee so he’s got to have been called a “numbnuts” at least once in his lifetime.

If spelling bees were like this when I was a kid maybe I would have actually won one:

“Your word is goatfucker.”

“As in: yo mama is a goatfucker?”

“Yes.”

“Can I have the origin of the word?”

“It is colloquial rural Olde English.”

“OK. Goatfucker. G-o-a-t-f-u-c-k-e-r. Goatfucker.”

“Well done.”

My dad would have been so proud.

Cross-posted from PoHo blog: 

Screw timeouts. This Lake County teacher straight-up body slams his students.Apparently teacher Stephen Berry was messing around (and by that I do not mean like a predateacher) with a 14-year old student when things went a little too far and the student wouldn’t calm down. So Berry did what any kickin’-ass-and-takin’-names teacher would do: He body slammed the punk.

Word. I’ll bet the kid learned his lesson that day.

The whole thing was recorded by a someone with a cell phone.

While it is unknown what exactly brought this incident on, the kid must have deserved it because the parents (at least so far) have decided not to press charges. That’s right, they have decided (at least so far) not to press charges.

There must be more to this story than has come out yet. A teacher freakin’ body slams a student and the parents decide it’s no big deal?

Maybe they are waiting to speak to a lawyer so they can sue. There’s more long-term justice in a large cash settlement than a criminal prosecution, after all.

Berry has resigned and the Lake County Sheriff’s office is reportedly investigating the incident. Lawyers everywhere are salivating at the possibilities.

Stay tuned.

Who could have predicted a Geo would be cool? Not me. But with the rising price of gasoline, small economical cars are in high demand. I should take advantage of this while I have a chance.

“1998 Honda Civic CX, goes to the highest bidder: 1.6-liter 4-cylinder, 115,000 miles but well-maintained drive train, clean interior, purple paint (where there is still some paint left), dents on doors, damage on passenger-side bumper, gets around 30 miles per gallon (highway), paid: $12,000, opening bid: $20,000.”

Cars used to be considered a bad long-term investment. But if gas prices continue to rise, these small cars soon could be worth their weight in gold. Who wants to make the first bid?

(photo by Ben Fry)

The hell with the rising price of gasoline; here’s the real news: beer prices are steadily climbing.

With the cost of everything else rising as well, some of us have been able to just grin and bear it, taking solace in our beer. But (sigh) with beer prices going up too, we may be in some real trouble.

Where are our leaders on this issue? Come on, Mr. Bush, how about an alcoholic stimulus package?

The US Labor Department is reporting retail beer prices are up 3 percent over May 2007 prices and are outpacing overall inflation. Beer producers cite an increase in costs for the price hike. Grain costs are up because of a bad barley crop in Europe and the competition of bio-fuels. Shipping costs are up, as are packaging costs.

This all means a slowdown at the liquor store and the local bar. An alcoholic stimulus package, either checks mailed out to drinkers of legal age or as a break from alcohol taxes, would simultaneously help this industry and the rest of us.

If beer prices rise much more we will all have to drink less, putting the entire beer industry in trouble. And if we cannot stop the eventual price hike, an alcoholic stimulus package will help us during our transitional drying-out period.

If we cannot get this beer price issue under control, we will have to cut costs somewhere. Cancel the movie packages from our cable provider. Eat bologna instead of smoked turkey. Wash dishes and clothes with the same soap. Ride the bike to work more often. Anything to make sure the beer budget is unaffected.

You gotta do what you gotta do. When times get tough, the beer must keep flowin’. An alcoholic stimulus check would ensure that it does.

(photo by Eric Ward)