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That’s the doomsday message in a current Time magazine article entitled, ominously, “Is Florida the Sunset State?” (sunshine, sunset, ha) and subheaded with a litany of the state’s troubles: “Water Crisis, Mortgage Fraud, Political Dysfunction, Algae Polluted Beaches, Declining Crops, Failing Public Schools, Foreclosures.”

We’re the state that has it all!

Author Michael Grunwald allows that the winters are nice, and has a conversation with Gov. Crist that brightens his outlook a bit, comparing the guv to “human Prozac.” But the overall tone is grim, ending with the  point that Florida may know how to grow, but has yet to learn how to grow up.

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Tyson Gay, Olympic sprinter, has a problematic last name — at least for the anti-gay American Family Association, whose practice of replacing “gay” with   “homosexual” in news reports has led to some big fun. The ramifications of AFA’s filter problems are detailed on the Poynter Institute’s E-Media Tidbits blog, the Sleuth blog at washingtonpost.com and Jock Talk at outsports.com. As Poynter points out, be sure to read the comments.

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That word comes up a lot in my interview with Beth Littrell, the Lambda Legal attorney who is representing Janice Langbehn in her suit against a Miami hospital. As I mentioned in a previous post, Jackson Memorial Hospital denied Langbehn access to her dying partner, Lisa Marie Pond, because Langbehn was not a “family member” — even though she and Pond were in an 18-year relationship, were raising four kids together and had the paperwork to prove it. The fine folks at ImGay.TV taped my conversation with Littrell during the opening-night reception for last week’s St. Pete Pride weekend. Besides proving once and for all that stripes aren’t slimming (on me, at least), the tape offers useful detail, as explained by the articulate Ms. Littrell, about the background and status of the case. See if you don’t agree with both of us that what happened to Langbehn was “outrageous.”

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The St. Pete-based theater troupe formerly known as Quirky White Chick Productions has announced it is changing its name to Economic Stimulus Productions, because, they announced in a press release today, “Producers Julie Rowe and T. Scott Wooten decided against buying plasma-screen-HD-television-sets and instead pooled their tax rebate checks together to produce live theatre.” The result, they are proud to announce, is “performance art fully funded by the United States Government.”

It’s W’s worst nightmare! But EcStim isn’t talking about performance art à la Karen Finley, she who rubbed foodstuffs all over herself and caused an NEA ruckus some years back. What EcStim is doing is cabaret, but cabaret with a subversive twist: it’s a revue of songs by the master of the sardonic song lyric, Tom Lehrer. From “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” to “The Vatican Rag” to “The Masochism Tango,” Lehrer’s songs still pack a satirical wallop even though they date back to the 1960s. Come to think of it, George might like old Tom even less than Karen and her comestibles.

EcStim’s An Evening Wasted with the Songs of Tom Lehrer will be performed July 23-26 at 11 p.m. at American Stage in downtown St. Petersburg. It’s a pay-what-you-can arrangement, so it’s up to you how much of your rebate check you want to spend on live theater.

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The St. Pete Pride weekend kicked off last night with A Taste of Pride, a reception at Nova 535, where I got a chance to talk with Janice Langbehn, the grand marshal of Saturday’s parade. Langbehn seems a bit abashed by the lofty title, but her story needs to be told, and the Pride organizers made a brilliant political decision in helping to draw renewed attention to that story this week.

In Miami last year, Langbehn was about to embark on a cruise with her partner of 18 years, Lisa Marie Pond, and three of their four adopted children, when Pond suffered a brain aneurysm and was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital. According to a lawsuit filed Wednesday against the hospital, the staff “refused to accept information from Langbehn regarding Pond’s medical history, informing her that she was in an antigay city and state and that she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family.” Langbehn and her children were denied access to Pond for nearly eight hours. When the family was finally allowed to see her, the priest was administering last rites. Langbehn, with the help of Lambda Legal, is now suing the hospital and staffers for “negligent infliction of emotional distress.”

What happened to Langbehn — a heartless, by-the-book bureaucratic foul-up if there ever was one — could become even more commonplace after November’s election. If demagogues convince Florida voters that a same-sex marriage ban, already a law, should also be enshrined in the state constitution, the same thing could happen to anyone in Florida who defines family as other than one man/ one woman in a state-approved union. Unmarried heterosexual couples, senior citizens living together as companions, committed same-sex partners raising a family in relationships lasting 10, 20, 50 years — all of them would be at risk of being treated the same way as Janice Langbehn was treated.

Only if Amendment 2 passes, it won’t be just boneheaded hospital staffers denying people their civil rights. It’ll be the Florida Constitution.

If for no other reason than to show the world that you don’t want that to happen, march in the Pride parade Saturday and show your support for a grand marshal who deserves all the support we can give.

Later this week, I’ll be posting my interview, captured on ImGay.TV, with Lambda Legal’s Beth Littrell, who’s handling Langbehn’s case. And on Saturday, look for Creative Loafing staffers, including myself, riding the Azalea fire truck in the parade and handing out copies of the Openly Gay Issue and special CL “branded” condoms — much better than “beeeeaaaads.” And check out CL’s booth at 25th & Central.

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My father lives in Brewster, Massachusetts, and just celebrated his 90th birthday. As you might expect, he’s a big Red Sox fan. But even up in Red Sox Nation, the Rays are raising eyebrows. Here’s my father’s take (sent to me via email) on a recent Rays/ Marlins blowout:
“Rays scored almost as many runs as there were fans in the stands last night. I wonder if your area deserves such a fine team? Will the attendance improve next week when the Red Sox come to town?”
Um, yes. Because the stands, sadly, will be filled with Red Sox fans.

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Creative Loafing edit staffers came away with five prizes on Saturday in the 2008 Sunshine State Awards, the statewide journalism competition sponsored by the South Florida Pro chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. Political Editor Wayne Garcia won three awards: first place in election reporting for his series “The Next President“; second place in serious column writing/ commentary for three installments of his column “Political Whore“; and third place in local political/ government reporting for “The Athletic Supporter.” Staff Writer Alex Pickett took second place in serious feature reporting for “Second Life“; and Food Editor Brian Ries took third in food/beverage writing for “The Food Stamp Diet.” SPJ reports that more than 1,000 entries were submitted this year from print, broadcast and online journalists; the Miami Herald took the most prizes, with the Tampa Tribune coming in second. The St. Pete Times’ Eric Deggans took the top prize in criticism for his writings about media.

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Friendly Fisherman’s still in the lead, so if you’re a FoFF (Friend of Friendly Fisherman), get in there and seal the deal with your final votes. But if you want to see another waterfront spot get its due, now’s your chance: Voting closes at the end of the day today, May 28. Find your ballot here.

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Emily Gould, blog diva supreme, late of Gawker, appeared on the cover of the NY Times mag this weekend in a come-hither glam pose that may have been intended ironically, but nonetheless seemed to undercut her professed disenchantment with exposing herself online. Still, she’d probably cop to the contradiction, if this passage is any indication:

The will to blog is a complicated thing, somewhere between inspiration and compulsion. It can feel almost like a biological impulse. You see something, or an idea occurs to you, and you have to share it with the Internet as soon as possible. What I didn’t realize was that those ideas and that urgency — and the sense of self-importance that made me think anyone would be interested in hearing what went on in my head — could just disappear.

But that passage made me wonder: Is this what makes a successful blog click with readers? The sense of spontaneity, of observations recorded on the fly, particularly if they reveal something personal about the blogger? Do the same requirements apply to a news blog? Where some reflection (or at least some research) would seem to be required? Or is the quickest route to massive hits a recipe of snark, gossip, self-revelation and impassioned opinion? And if so, what’s any of that got to do with news?

Just some questions I’m pondering as we make a concerted effort (have you noticed?) to post more on our respective CL blogs. Emily, by the way, drew 1216 comments, last count, on the NYTimes site.

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Tried to find the SI issue with the much-hyped cartoon-style cover yesterday, but the clerk at the South Pasadena CVS told me they’d long ago sold out — and that customers had told her they couldn’t find a copy anywhere in Pinellas. Anyone actually own a copy of this about-to-be-a-collector’s item? And does this mean Tampa Bay is actually beginning to (gasp) care? Even though Monday’s crowd was the lowest in the majors?

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Anyone else DVR Am Idol tonight and have the recording end - with utterly laughable bad timing - exactly at the moment that Seafoam was about to announce the name of the winner?

Not that you missed much. I watched Fox News (!) to find out who won, and caught an excerpt of the song which Cook was forced to perform as the new Idol. Snooze. But how could anyone have topped George Michael channeling his inner Christopher Walken? Donna Summer channeling her inner drag queen? And…. ZZ Top??? (Actually, kind of liked ZZ Top. Evander Preston, you’ve still go it!)

Speaking of Fox News, what’s the deal with seat-counting at the Barack Obama rally? Fox reported that the 20,000 seats at the Forum were full. CL’s Wayne Garcia and ABC Action News’ Brendan McLaughlin reported 15,000.

For truly interesting numbers, you have to go back to Am Idol.

The number of votes cast was 97.5 million, which means it’s official: America, you’ve got too much time on your hands.

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A woman can win. Even if her opponent is a wildly popular dashingly handsome tall African-American man.

OK, it’s just Dancing with the Stars, and the woman is a former Olympics figure skater (Kristi Yamaguchi) and the man is a professional football player (Jason Taylor).

But what do you wanna bet Hillary will take it as a sign?

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OK, got a nice comment on Undertow - but still just 1 % after more than a thousand votes? And no love for Oystercatchers? Swigwam? Crazy Conch? The Hurricane? Beach bums, get in there and vote, or your favorite hangouts will never get the respect they deserve!

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