Blurbex

In honor of Chris Matthews’ 10 years hosting MSNBC’s Hardball (and the comments he made at the anniversary party), all items on today’s Short List will be SHOUTED!!!

• CRAIG BLOWS IT IN COURT, PUSHES ON IN THE SENATE ANYWAY!!!
• FRED THOMPSON HAS TO ASK AUDIENCES TO APPLAUD!!!
• THE LIGHTNING ROCK THE DEVILS IN THE NHL SEASON OPENER!!!
• RIAA SUES, WINS $220K FROM A SINGLE MOM IN MINNESOTA!!!
• EXPLODING iPODS!!!
• INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST GREG PALAST NEEDS MONEY!!!
• ANN COULTER IS A SELF-HATING BITCH!!!
• HALO 3 RAKES IN $300 MIL IN A WEEK!!!

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Fact or fiction?

• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, won’t get fooled again. The Trump Tower is back on.
• Ron Paul raised $5 million last quarter, causing the MSM to scratch its collective head, mutter “who?”
• That $5 million is about as much as Sen. John McCain raised in the same period. McCain, however, thinks the cash chase is overrated.
• You got to hand it to Bush: It takes super-sized balls to veto a bill that would have provided health care to four million poor kids. However, Bush is in favor of a bill confiscating all lollipops and having them delivered to the oval office.
• Jim Norman’s $40 million fantasy sports park, which PoHo wrote about last week, gets shelved by the county commission.
• Good news Bolts fans: Bright House is adding the NHL Network. How about adding the NFL Network next?
• Two California towns look to ban smoking in apartments and condos. Zombified residents eager to comply.
• Microsoft breaks out the new Zune. Warning: It’s still ugly as hell.

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“And when he allied with Rocky, training the former champ for his rematch with Clubber Lang, Creed displayed a — what? Oops, sorry. Where am I again?”

• Hillary Clinton rakes in the dough.
• USF at #6! Watch out Florida Atlantic; the Bulls are coming for ya!
• How many dead monks does it take to fill a jungle? The leaders of the Myanmar’s military junta aren’t counting.
• Remember Rudy G. answering a call from his wife during a speech to the NRA? Turns out that wasn’t the first time … or the 30th.
• Head … going … to … explode: Rep. Jack Kingston (R - Ga.) introduced a resolution in the U.S. House of Representatives commending Rush Limbaugh.
• Smokin’! 2006 was a banner year for pot arrests.
• First look: The iTunes/Starbucks WiFi Music Store.
• Tired of recharging the laptop? How about a 30 year battery?

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Here’s hoping West Virginia gets gored.

• Game Of The Year (So far): USF vs. West Virginia. Go Bulls!
• The Dan Rather vs. CBS lawsuit dishes some dirt. For example: Those “forged documents” proving Bush went AWOL are authentic; CBS systematically killed stories the administration wanted buried; and witnesses claim Bush didn’t do his Air National Guard service in 1972, instead spending his time “drinking, urinating on a car, screaming at police and trashing the apartment he had rented.” Hail to the chief, indeed.
• The Hard Rock Casino in Tampa prepares to unveil a new expansion … and to start dealing Blackjack.
• Remember that Seinfeld episode where Kramer and Newman stole a mail truck to transport bottles to Michigan for the 10-cent refund? So do these 10 new residents of the Detroit jail.
• Energy production goes back to the future as the nuclear power industry prepares for an expansion. The reasoning: It’s a partial solution to the climate crisis.
• Rush Limbaugh says the troops who come home from Iraq against the war are “phony soldiers.” One such “phony” is challenging Rush to an on-air debate over it. Breath-holding should be done at your own risk.
• Apple “bricks” some modified iPhones. Lawsuits are sure to follow.
• Harry Potter vs. Halo 3: What was the biggest entertainment launch ever?

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“That’s nice kid, but I’ll bet my home theater bitch-slaps yours.”

• Mixed Messages: New home sales continue to crater, but the economy seems to be humming along anyway.
• There are reasons you don’t outsource a war — just ask the State Department.
• Bad new for everybody: All types of alcohol raise the risk of breast cancer in women. Male scientists said to be hard at work on a new, non-carcinogenic inhibitions inhibitor.
• Researchers at Northwestern University think Alzheimer’s disease may actually be “type-3 diabetes.” Yeah, they didn’t know there was a third type either.
• Beginning of the end for iTunes? The DRM dam breaks as Amazon opens its own online music store, selling all songs without copy protection and for as low as $.89.
• Halo 3 makes $170 million in 24 hours (the best debut by a video game ever), clobbering the opening-day haul of every Hollywood blockbuster ever released. Yes, even Spider-Man 3.
• Who do you call when the fire station is burning down?
• Twilight for Barry Bonds.

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Channel 10 personality Holley Sinn interviews Ms. Loafie 2007 Ashle Smith and Loafie host Tim Wilkins as CL Senior Editor Eric Snider looks on, Cuban bread in hand. Photo by: Larry Biddle.

If you didn’t make it to this week’s 2007 Best of The Bay award show (aka The Loafies), you missed something special. A crowd of hundreds rocked the Tampa Theatre on Monday night, boisterously celebrating what Creative Loafing’s readers deemed the best in People & Politics, Food & Drink, Urban Exploring, Goods & Services and Arts & Entertainment. Along with pictures from the event, a complete list of Readers’ Poll winners is in this week’s Loaf, which is hitting paper boxes today.

If you can’t get to a paper box, or you’re just dying to know who did all the winning, click the “Read the rest of this entry” link below for the complete list of Readers’ Poll champions. (You can also click here for a complete list of our critics and staff picks.)

(more…)

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Do you have anything of Washington D.C.?

• Is Al Gore waiting to collect his Nobel Prize before jumping into the 2008 presidential race? Christopher Hitchens considers it …
• WSJ to Rudy: Stop acting so weird!
• Loafie winner Sticks of Fire has some good links on Gov. Crist’s appointment of former Bucs middle linebacker Shelton Quarles to head the Tampa Bay Area Regional Transportation Authority. Quarles first order of business: Deciding whether to keep both “Area” and “Regional” in the title.
• Florida Power sees the light, decides to harness it for energy.
• A man walks into several Sarasota-area businesses pretending to be the guitar player from Creed. Do the patrons, a) play along but express doubts about the man’s true identity; b) buy the scam hook, line and sinker; or c) kick the shit out of the guy for being in such a lame-ass band?
• The vegetation is talking!
• Kiefer Sutherland runs afoul of the law … and wins the Award of Excellence from the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists. Not a bad 24 hours.
• What is the Navy trying to tell us here?

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I shall smite thee with my kick-ass legal filings.

• Tropical systems usually approach Florida from the east or west, sparking days of breathless coverage and riots at Home Depot. This one skipped the foreplay and formed right over our heads.
• The Tasering of America: California says to Florida, “we’ll see your obnoxious college kid and raise you one 15-year-old autistic boy running in traffic.”
• Anyone else following the Florida Personal Injury Protection auto insurance drama, the Oct. 1 deadline and the uncertainty of what happens if the coverage lapses? I didn’t think so. You’re probably too busy preparing to bend over.
• Kill the messenger? Wal-Mart goes after the lab that discovered lead and chromium in imported Chinese toys.
• Famed documentary filmmaker Ken Burns returns with a 15-hour documentary on World War II. If ever there was a subject that slipped through the cracks of the media spotlight and has been denied its fair share of exposure and celebration, it’s WWII.
• Things not to wear to the airport: A circuit board adorned with blinking lights and sprouting wires that are connected to a battery. Kneading Play-Doh while wearing the outfit is also discouraged.
• The worst way imaginable to avoid life in prison? Agree to castration in exchange for only 25 years behind bars.
• Two F.S.U. players (including their best starting linebacker) were arrested in Tallahassee this morning after participating in a bar fight. I remember when F.S.U. players physically dominated opponents on the field. Yeah, it’s been a while …

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What’s so funny, Mitchell?

• Here’s why Bush won’t attack Iran … or maybe he will … but probably not … we think.
• Dan Rather battles Viacom for $70 million. It’s like a cockfight in the hen house on the eve of the last full moon before the fourth of July!
• “The Empty Can” continues to rattle wildly, this time declaring war on Pakistani leader Gen. Pervez Musharraf.
• What are you reading on the plane? Homeland Security is keeping track.
• Republican lawmakers stand up for their president and block a Senate bill that required military personnel to get as much time at home as they spent in Iraq before redeployment. Possible Republican reasoning: You sleep when you’re dead, which for some of these guys won’t be long now, anyway.
• Tampa lands another hottie on ABC’s The Bachelor.
• Everyone’s favorite Devil Ray is in the news again: Did Elijah Dukes abscond with his kids?
• Is that a choking noise I hear coming from New England?

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M.I.A.: One noted local blogger. Last heard from: Aug. 30th. Whereabouts? Unknown.

• The UF Tasering — Day Three: The police claim that post-arrest, unruly student Andrew Meyer told them they did nothing wrong. Case closed, I guess.
• St. Petersblog has a funny post about the tasering, including a shot of the must-have T-shirt of 2007.
• Party like it’s 1994! O.J. faces a life behind bars. Again.
• St. Pete’s airport gets a new carrier offering nine flights a week. Is it Jetblue? Southwest? Nope. It’s Myrtle Beach Direct Air!
• Round two for Hillary and health care.
• Condi tells the International Atomic Energy Agency to butt-out of conversations about Iran’s quest for atomic energy. Because when it comes to rogue states and nuclear weapons, who you gonna believe: the Bush Administration or the I.A.E.A.?
• Racist of the Day: Jesse Jackson, who said Barack Obama’s response to a Louisiana case involving six black kids is tantamount to “acting like he’s white.” That Jesse; always acting like he’s black.
• *Rachel