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1. Clip Film Series — a program offered by the Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival – presents its July selections: the Chad Allen drama, Save Me, followed by two episodes of the new LOGO series Sordid Lives, which is based on the indie film by Del Shores. (Pictured at right: Allen and co-star Robert Gant.)

2. It’s another Wednesday evening fundraiser for the nonprofit Abilities Foundation, this one a six-course Spanish Wine Dinner hosted by La Fogata Churrascaria and featuring Montecillo and Osborne wine pairings by Osborne U.S. Associate Pablo Pelaez.

3. American Stage kicks off a four-night run of An Evening Wasted with the Songs of Tom Lehrer, which is produced by Julie Rowe and T. Scott Wooten, aka, Economic Stimulus Productions.

4. The Zappa Plays Zappa tour – featuring Dweezil Zappa, a lineup of talented musicians and special guest Ray White – plays in Orlando. Definitely worth the drive if you’re a Zappa fan.

5. Side Splitters Comedy Club welcomes Got Jokes?, a new local improv troupe that claims it has a “fresh, hip and innovative approach” to improv comedy.

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1. Two much-anticipated new albums hit stores today: Dr. Dog’s fifth, Fate (streaming in its entirety here); and the U.S. release of Paul Weller’s ninth, the double-disc 22 Dreams. Support independent music stores and purchase your copy at Vinyl Fever or Mojo Records.

2. Bust out the Aquanet and spandex – Poison takes the stage at Ford Amphitheatre tonight! Hair metal co-horts Sebastian Bach and Dokken provide support, and Poison frontman Bret Michaels appears for a post-show meet-and-greet party with fans at Floyd’s at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.3. M3 Tuesdays at Whiskey North is a “Meet-Mix-Mingle” event featuring old school hip-hop, R&B and house spins by DJ Silence until 8 p.m. followed by live jazz by City Groove from 8 to 10 p.m.

4. Tanya & Matt’s Ice Creamiest celebrates National Ice Cream Month with free scoops from noon to 6 p.m. at both of the Tampa locations.

5. Dash Rip Rock brings their fun cow punk back to Skipper’s Smokehouse.

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1. Singer/songwriter Melanie Martel and fiancé/producer/Poison drummer Rikki Rockett (both pictured) play an acoustic show at Country Legends in Dunedin. 9 p.m., 1568 Main St., Dunedin, $25.

2. Sunscreen Film Festival presents the American premiere screening of The Grind, a thriller about a grifter (C. Thomas Howell) who must figure out a way to pay back a debt he owes to the Mexican mob; Tom Sizemore also stars. St. Petersburg native and The Grind producer Robert Enriquez is on hand for a Q&A immediately following the film. Mon., July 21, 7 p.m., Reeves Theater-Vaughn Center, University of Tampa, 401 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa, free admission.

3. More than 50 local companies converge to recruit new employees during the Tampa Bay Job Fair. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., St. Pete Times Forum, 401 Channelside Drive, downtown Tampa.

4. As a part of its current film and photo exhibition, Coming Into Focus, Nova 535 Art Lounge hosts a series of related Monday evening film events. Tonight, filmmaker/new media artist/UT associate professor Dana Plays hosts a screening of her own film works as well as works by UT students and alumni. 7:30 p.m., 535 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg, free admission.

5. Tampa Bay Rays kicks off the first of three-nights worth of home games against the Oakland Athletics tonight at Tropicana Field.

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1. USF Dance Professor Jeanne Travers and the USF Dance Troupe (pictured) premiere Dance Fuzion, a program of original choreographic works created by Travers and encompassing multicultural themes, images and world music. The program will be performed at several festivals and concerts in Tunisia, Africa, this July and August. Admission to this Friday evening’s HCC-Ybor presentation is free.

2. Sample more than 150 microbrews from around the world, enjoy fun beer-related seminars and much more at the St. Petersburg Craft Beer Expo.

3. At this Saturday’s Red Bull Flugtag – “flugtag” being German for “flying day” – 40 teams of five members each launch homemade, human-powered flying crafts off a 30-foot deck to see who can soar the farthest over the waters of Garrison Channel. See Creative Loafing’s team, The Breadwinners, compete with our very own (pressed) Cuban sandwich glider.

4. Col. Bruce Hampton brings his current outfit, The Quark Alliance, to Skipper’s Smokehouse; Blueground Undergrass with Rev. Jeff Mosier, provides support.

5. The TRA’shion Fashion Show features original designs by several area talents, among them, Blackbird & Raven, Kina Kouture, Taylor Adair, Chateau De Curb Gear and Katy Alderman.

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1. Comedian John Witherspoon – Ice Cube’s gaseous, cantankerous, dog-catcher dad in the Friday films (and pictured at right) – kicks off a four-night run of stand up this evening at the Tampa Improv.

2. Michael Ian Black “hosts” Reality Bites Back, a new unscripted Comedy Central series that has several not-so-famous comics competing against each other to see who can come up with the most outrageous parodies of popular reality shows and contestants. Reality Bites Back premieres tonight.

3. University of Tampa Sculpture Professor and artist Kendra Frorup presents a new exhibit, Recent Work: Prints and Sculpture, at the HCC-Ybor Art Gallery.

4. Shelby Lynn plays Tampa Theatre.

5. IMAX offers midnight screenings of The Dark Knight.

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1. Nashville indie cutie Brooke Waggoner (pictured) brings her piano-driven pop and husky sweet vocals to Orpheum tonight; electro-pop purveyors Paper Route – also from Nashville – provide support. 8 p.m., 1902 Avenida Republica de Cuba, Ybor City, $10, 813-248-9500.

2. The Abilities Foundation – a Clearwater nonprofit that provides services to people with disabilities – hosts another culinary fundraiser, this one a five-course Pine Ridge Winery Dinner at Parkshore Grill with Executive Chef Tyson Grant. 6:30 p.m., 300 Beach Drive, downtown St. Petersburg, $79, 727-538-7370.

3. Web-TV talk show The Combination hosts its July edition of Wide aWoke Wednesdays, a series of monthly forums held to discuss, encourage and embrace new ways to rebuild the African-American community. The topic is “Are We Ready for Barack Obama to Be Our President?”; participating panelists include Tampa Organization of Black Affairs Political Education Chairperson Jeffrey L. Rhodes, Angelette C. Avilés of Americas Marketing & Graphics, and Michelle Clower, Corporate Operations and Sales Manager at Preferable Staffing. Attendees also enjoy video presentations, a business expo, giveaways and refreshments. 7:30 p.m., USF Alumni Center-Traditions Hall,  4202 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa, $5 general admission/free for students with I.D., 813-951-0794.

4. American Stage kicks off the first of two preview presentations of its new production, Souvenir: A Fantasia on the Life of Florence Foster Jenkins. 7:30 p.m., 211 Third St. S., St. Petersburg, $22, 727-823-7529.

5. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers and Steve Winwood play the St. Pete Times Forum. 7:30 p.m., 401 Channelside Drive, Tampa, $29.50-$55, 813-301-6500.

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1. Every Day Gourmet is a series of cooking classes offered by Let Them Eat Cake and taught by Chef Jason Lucas. Tonight’s focus is “Summer Salads.” 6:30-9:30 p.m., 3805 S. West Shore Blvd., Tampa, $40 per person, 813-480-5466.

2. St. Petersburg Free Clinic – which provides temporary assistance for families and individuals in need of food, shelter, health care, limited financial assistance and referral information – offers a volunteer orientation session every third Tuesday of the month (today) at 3:30 p.m. The clinic seeks volunteer physicians and ARNPs for its Health Center as well as maintenance volunteers, and individuals to answer the phones and help serve food at the community kitchen. For more info, call Rebecca Russell-Gootee at 727-821-1200, ext. 114, or e-mail her at rrgspfc@yahoo.com.

3. Linda Taylor signs copies of her book, Great Women Exploring Nature: How Wild Florida Influenced Their Lives, at Nature’s Food Patch today. Attendees also enjoy organic wine and cheese. 4-7 p.m., 1225 Cleveland St., Clearwater.

4. Stageworks Theater presents a staged reading of Texas, Religion and Murder: A Contemporary Tall Tale. The new play – about a Dallas minister with amnesia – is by 2007 Florida Longjohns Playwriting Competition winner Ed Stevens. 7:30 p.m., Shimberg Playhouse-Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center, 1010 N. MacInnes Place, downtown Tampa, $5 (cash only).

5. MLB’s 2008 All-Star Game, the 79th Midsummer Classic, airs live at 8 p.m. on Fox.–Summer salad photo courtesy of toastforbrekkie.

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1. Every Monday evening in July, SID’s Lounge at Side Splitters hosts Poker Night with WPT’s Amateur Poker League. Locals enjoy free games of tournament-style Texas Hold ‘Em (7 and 9 p.m.), with the chance to win prizes and move on to a nation-wide poker tournament.

2. More than 30 of the world’s leading graffiti artists present canvas works at Elements of Skill, the latest show at Pale Horse Gallery and Design Studio.

3. Enjoy a free pitcher of Miller Light with the purchase of a plate of wings until 5 p.m. at Ka’Tiki on Sunset Beach, then enjoy an open blues jam with guitarist Kent Pearson and Friends from 7 to 11 p.m.

4. ESPN presents a live broadcast of the Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium. During the pre-All Star Game event, MLB’s best sluggers compete to see who can score the most home runs. Among the eight competitors are the Tampa Bay Rays’ own third baseman, Evan Longoria, four-time Derby competitor and Houston Astros switch-hitting outfielder/first baseman Lance Berkman, and left fielder Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers. The game starts at 8 p.m. A presentation of the All-Star Legends and Celebrity Game follows at 10 p.m. and features Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, Spike Lee, Wade Boggs, Ernie Banks, James Denton and several others in a friendly exhibition.

5. Read the start of the Washington Post’s year-long investigation, “Who Killed Chandra Levy?” Spoiler Alert: They don’t find out.

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Art Garfunkel has a ravenous appetite for literature and apparently he also has way too much time on his hands as he’s been keeping track of every single book he’s read for the past 40 years. Ego demands that he share this with the rest of us, so he’s set up a library listing of all these books, including a special section featuring all 135 of his favorites, and all are sorted by date.

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1. St. Pete-based alt-pop rock band Talk to Mark hosts and performs at A Benefit for Ryleigh and Reece Russo. The benefit concert is held to raise funds for the escalating medical expenses of two St. Petersburg children: 2-year-old Ryleigh (right, reading the paper) was recently diagnosed with leukemia and while she was undergoing chemotherapy at All Children’s Hospital, her appendix ruptured and had to be removed; newborn Reece (left, with dad) came into the world shortly after and suffering from persistent pulmonary hypertension, a disorder that limits blood flow to the lungs. Parents Dennis and Teresa Russo are struggling – breadwinner Teresa was just laid off from her high-salary job and Dennis is a Gibbs High School teacher with a teacher’s diminutive income. All proceeds raised at the concert go directly to the family. Fri., July 11, 7-11 p.m., Nova 535 Art Lounge, 535 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg, $10 suggested donation. For more info, call 727-385-1529.

2. Vans Warped Tour brings Against Me! and 50 or so other alt rock acts to Vinoy Park today.

3. The Warlocks and The Black Angels play Crowbar Saturday night.

4. Rome, New York and Tampa academic scholars from a range of disciplines delve into the cultures, identities and perspectives of Sicilian and Italian Americans during a weekend symposium, “Sicilians in Tampa – Unfolding the Journey,” which is hosted by the Ybor City Museum Society.

5. Two local theaters present productions of Forever Plaid.

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We’ve probably all thought at one time or another how hilarious it would be to dose a police officer. Okay, maybe not, but the idea is pretty funny in a Flirting with Disaster sort of way. Not so much to 18-year-old Texan Christian V. Phillips, who is currently being accused of delivering baskets of drug-laced cookies to a dozen or so police departments in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, according to police who charged him Tuesday with LSD possession. At least three officers have “gotten sick.” (Translation: they lost their shit for about an hour, began questioning their existence as law enforcement representatives and as human beings in general, and eventually parked themselves in front of the television and stayed up all night laughing at infomercials.)

Cookie Monster could not be reached for comment.

UPDATE: Turns out Phillips was wrongly accused; apparently, lab tests by the Tarrant County medical examiner show that there was, in fact, NO traces of any controlled substances in the cookies. (The cops were going by “field traces” and apprently the ones who claimed sickness simply didn’t enjoy the cookies.)

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