Half your meal is on us
First, it was Bernie Mac, dead of pneumonia.
Then, Isaac Hayes, dead of treadmilling.
Who will complete the trilogy of dead African American celebs? I asked my colleagues:
“Morgan Freeman was supposed to be the first one, but somehow escaped the grim reaper in his car crash.”
“Samuel L. Jackson, he was working on a project with Hayes and Mac.”
But the best answer:
Queen of Grunge: Just close your eyes and try to imagine Chris Cornell singing “Fat-Bottomed Girls.”
Venomous: As if Spider-Man 3 weren’t bad enough.
Does this mean the next Austin Powers won’t be shag-a-delic?
Mighty shield, yeah, sure: But who will wear that ridiculous costume?
The votes are in: Dark Knight is the greatest movie ever!
More to meet the eye: Superbabe Megan Fox ordered to gain weight for Transformers sequel.
Remember Pirates, that porn flick that gained local notoriety when reporters found out some of the scenes were shot at the St. Petersburg Pier? The groundbreaking 2005 Digital Playground film made history as the most expensive porn ever produced and is still one of the industry’s top selling movies.Well, Digital Playground will soon release a sequel — Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge — in September and the online buzz is the movie will break the standard porn mold again.
According to press releases, producers spent nearly $10 million on the project and it features all sorts of CGI special effects. There’s also a long list of adult actors, including Pirates original cast member Jesse Jane and award-winning star Belladonna (these links aren’t safe for work).
Check out a preview here (oh, and this link is work-safe).
Reunited and it feels so good: A pair of well-known duos make their returns to multiplexes this weekend. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly (Talladega
Nights) team up as middle-aged sibling rivals in Step Brothers (read Lance Goldenberg’s review). 
Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully are together again after a 10-year layoff in The X-Files: I Want to Believe. If the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes are any indication, this may be the last go-round for the FBI agents with a penchant for investigating the supernatural.
How is it that a barely-funded series of web shorts produced during the writers’ strike manages to be better than just about everything aired on TV?
Part of the reason is Joss Whedon, the man behind Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Whedon — of Buffy, Firefly and Serenity fame — is known for snappy dialogue, engaging stories and a keen talent for creating fan buzz. Last week he released Dr. Horrible with little fanfare, posting three fifteen-minute episodes throughout the week. You could view them for free on the Dr. Horrible site, but only through last Sunday.
Now they’re $1.99 each on iTunes. And worth every penny.
There’s nothing new to this comic tale of a nascent super-villain trying to make it into the big leagues, but when that story is told with Whedon’s flair for dialogue, a half-dozen musical numbers and the comedy genius of Neil Patrick Harris in the starring role, it’s gold. Whedon regular Nathan Filion plays Captain Hammer — the doctor’s arch-nemesis — with oblivious, scene-eating verve and the entire production manages to be slick and humble at the same time.
That might be the ultimate appeal of Dr. Horrible. The countless home-made video blogs and shorts posted on Youtube and the like create an aura of low expectations for web films, making it easy for Whedon and crew to surpass the perceived potential at every step. The actors are better than the script, the script is better than the plot and the plot is good enough to generate some pathos and interest. Most of the laughs come from obvious slapstick or surprise — the head of the League of Evil is a villain called Bad Horse (the Thoroughbred of the Apocalypse), silently played by an actual horse in the show’s final scene — but they work.
Experience has trained all of us to know in our bones that 99% of online entertainment is pure crap. Maybe the real lesson in Dr. Horrible is that a skilled storyteller and some out-of-work production pros can turn those lowered expectations into honest-to-goodness blockbuster fun.
Wanna get Joe Bardi to exclaim “Damn it!”? Do what loyal commenter David Jenkins did on our blog post about the best superhero flicks and mention the “Ninja Rap” song from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. In case you’ve conveniently forgotten this lost classic, here’s the video:
With The Dark Knight raking in monster box-office and critical raves, and this week’s CL cover story focused on what our superheroes say about who we are as a culture, Joe Bardi and I were inspired to each make our lists of the best superhero flicks of all time. Joe offers 10 films in eight entries, while I give a traditional top 10 list. Enjoy!
Joe’s Picks:
1. Batman Begins/The Dark Knight: The new kings of the comic-book castle. Begins sets the table, and then The Dark Knight redefines the genre for the 21st century. I don’t see how anyone — not even director Christopher Nolan and his team — will top Knight for a long, long time.
2. The Matrix: Though not based on original graphic novel source material, there is no denying that The Matrix set the standard for all the modern comic book/superhero franchises. There is no Dark Knight without Keanu and Co’s reality-bending excursion into virtual reality.
3. Die Hard: Sure, Die Hard might seem out of place on a list of flicks about guys dressed as insects and flying rodents. Still, how can a list of superhero movies not include NYC cop/terrorist-killer John McClaine? In the original Die Hard, Bruce Willis tries his best to make McClain an everyman, and winds up creating one of the quintessential superheroes of the 1980s.
4. Superman/Superman 2: Really more of one big movie than two individual films. Superman and Superman II were both the babies of Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon, Goonies). After Donner had completed Superman and was halfway through shooting Superman II, the studio replaced him with A Hard Day’s Night director Richard Lester, causing Superman II to suffer a bit from the lack of consistency at the helm. Still, I find the sequel more fun to watch than the original.
5. Iron Man: 2008’s other excellent comic-book movie, and the first one from Marvel’s new production company. Iron Man manages to combine a terrific performance by Robert Downey Jr. with a plot that carries weight in these over-militarized times. It’s also damn funny.
6. The Incredibles: A Pixar animated feature about a family of superheroes, The Incredibles manages the difficult task of satirizing the superhero flick while delivering an excellent take on the genre that appeals to the whole family. Can’t wait for the sequel.
7. Spider-Man 2: I was never a huge Spider-Man fan, though I do appreciate what director Sam Raimi brought to the web-crawling franchise. Spider-Man 2 is easily the best of the Spidey flicks, primarily because of the villainous Doc Ock and his amazing tentacles.
8. Batman: The Tim Burton/Michael Keaton original holds up today largely on the back of the amazing production design and Jack Nicholson’s inspired performance as The Joker. I’m partial to Batman Returns, actually, as I find it a much more entertaining experience than this brooding original, but I fear villagers with pitchforks might show up at the Loaf office if I rank Returns over Batman. So I won’t — but you’re all wrong!
With Amy Winehouse apparently out of the running to sing the theme for the upcoming Bond flick, Quantum of Solace, I’ve been giving some thought to who should have that privilege.
Based on some Internet surfing and my own personal preferences, here’s my list of the top 10 candidates for becoming a part of 007 trivia and lore:
In no particular order:
1. Chrissie Hynde (a personal favorite of mine, she performed a track for the 1987 Bond film, The Living Daylights, but it was not the title song (that honor belongs to A-ha)
2. David Bowie (How Bowie hasn’t recorded a Bond theme thus far is a mystery to me; his voice is tailor-made for it)
3. Scissor Sisters (came at the suggestion of a poster on commanderbond.net. After listening to a couple of their tracks, I can hear why).
The Bank Job: Jason Statham (The Transporter, Snatch) stars in director Roger Donaldson’s account of a real-life 1971 London bank robbery. Saffron Burrows costars.
Penelope: Cutie-pie Christina Ricci (The Addams Family, Buffalo 66, Speed Racer) is the title character in this modern-day fairy tale about a girl born with a porcine snout. Reese Witherspoon and James McAvoy (Wanted) costar.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Milos Forman’s 1975 classic gets the Blu-ray treatment. Jack Nicholson stars as a free spirit who enters an insane asylum to avoid prison work detail, butting heads with the icy Nurse Ratched (Louise Fletcher). Also stars Will Sampson, Brad Dourif and Danny DeVito.
You read the familiar lament when critics review a surefire blockbuster: “It doesn’t matter what I write; people will go see it anyway.”
That’s mostly true for Hollywood’s big-budget releases, but as Erik Lundegaard points out in making the case that we need movie critics, these arbiters of taste have a measurable effect on box-office receipts.
Using basic math and the compendium of critical reviews from Rottentomatoes, Lundegaard shows that across the board — from art-house flicks to major studio releases — better-reviewed films earn more on a per-screen average than movies that are panned. Of 234 films released in 2007 and reviewed on Rottentomatoes, Lundegaard discovers:
While there were fewer “fresh” films (i.e., movies that critics liked) and they showed on fewer screens and took in less overall box office, they tended to make almost $1,000 more per screen than “rotten” movies (i.e., movies critics didn’t like). So, on a per-screen-basis, more people are following critics into theaters than not.
With that in mind, here’s a link to my review for Hancock.
It’s arguable that Marvel Comics’ Ultimates series — a modern re-tool of the classic Avengers team — is the biggest breadwinner the company has seen in years. Not the actual comic books, really, since we know that print comics still don’t enjoy mainstream success. These days, the money is all at the movies.
First came a series of successful animated DVDs. Then, when the company took over production of their officially licensed movies with Iron Man and Hulk (2008), it announced that most of the next 5 years of big-screen comic features will be devoted to the slate of characters on the Ultimates team, with another Iron Man movie, a Captain America feature and a blow-out movie featuring the entire Avengers line-up. And, considering the quality of the first few Ultimates comics series — and the box-office success of Iron Man and the Hulk — it was a good move. Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury? That’s how he was drawn in the Ultimates years before these movies were mentioned.
But then why would you kill the goose that laid the golden egg? I’m not saying that Marvel is canceling the Ultimates comic. On the contrary, I wish they would. (more…)
It’s a high-concept premise that must have had studio execs seeing dollar signs: Will Smith stars as a surly, alcoholic superhero.
Sad to say, but that concept is all there is to Hancock, a Hollywood product in the worst sense — devoid of a compelling story, relying instead on star power, gimmicky direction and the de rigueur assemblage of CGI effects typical of would-be summer blockbusters.
As the titular hero, Hancock has a penchant for drinking excessive amounts of whiskey and causing millions of dollars’ worth of destruction during his rescues and crime-stopping endeavors. Some might consider his reluctant, clumsy superhero a novel creation — until one realizes that Hancock the character could just as easily be seen as little more than a profane update based on a nearly three-decade-old sitcom, The Greatest American Hero. (more…)
I really liked Ang Lee’s 2003 big-screen Hulk, so I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit like some other fanboys to see the 2008 “reboot” edition, The Incredible Hulk, which gives the would-be Marvel franchise a fresh start. I thought Lee’s version played like a hybrid of a summer blockbuster and an art film, what with its “sins of the father” overtones and Lee’s multi-perspective camera work, approximating the dynamic look of comic books.
But it was a draggy Sunday night, and since this just-released film has gotten decent reviews — and I’m a super-hero-loving boy at heart — I drove my under-the-weather self to Park Side for an 8:15 screening.
And yes, this new Hulk is a more fan-friendly creation than its predecessor, with more action and less of the cerebral bent that seemed to turn so many off to Lee’s version. As Bruce Banner, Edward Norton gives a typical Edward Norton performance — reserved and tight-lipped, relying on his stock tics (the pensive look downward, the stoic shaking of the head) to convey his character’s personal tragedy. But in the context of the film, the performance works. Norton isn’t charismatic, but he doesn’t have to be, because Hulk is all about Banner’s destructive, green-skinned alter-ego.
But as any seasoned fan of action movies knows, a film is only as good as the protagonist’s nemesis. And in this case, Tim Roth is the perfect adversary, portraying a Russian-born soldier on loan to the U.S. military from the Royal British Navy. Roth plays Emil Blonsky like a coiled viper of energy, an aging soldier who lives for the thrill of battle. Instead of fearing the Hulk, he relishes taking him on, especially after being injected with a “super-soldier” serum (à la Captain America) at the request of Gen. “Thunderbolt” Ross, played with command and intensity by the always-reliable William Hurt.
While the climactic showdown between Hulk and Blonsky’s radiation-induced Abomination is the film’s raison d’etre, the best sequence for my money is the battle on a college-campus green between Hulk and Blonsky, in which the latter uses his newly acquired super-speed to avoid being crushed by the Big Guy.
Like the previous Hulk, this film still doesn’t explain how Banner manages to keep his pants on after Hulking out, but the suspension of disbelief is a small price to pay, lest we find ourselves rooting for a super hero with a big green penis flopping all over the place.
