Blurbex

“Just stay hidden, Dick, and let me walk out first.”

• Call President Bush and tell him that yet another expanded wiretapping bill will only further damage this nation. Or better yet, call anyone and just address the president directly. AT&T or the NSA will get him the message.
• Christ! Can someone please give Al Gore the flippin’ Nobel Peace Prize already? Then we can stop hearing about it constantly — and he can get on with running for president.
• Don’t worry about the declining dollar. It’s set to be replaced by something called the Amero. Just ask former Mexican Prez Vincente Fox. Larry King did, and Fox seems to have given him a straight answer! (I guess that’s why he’s a “former” prez.)
• Check out the big brain on Lloyd Dobler: Actor John Cusack interviewed Naomi Klein about Blackwater for Huff Post, and it’s probably the most interesting interview on the subject I’ve read. (Thanks Dawn.)
• Alcoholism may be curable with epilepsy drugs. Up next: Viagra for a head cold.
• The good news: Clearwater is the star of a new DVD! The bad: It’s called Da Hood Gone Wild, and features street scenes of violence and debauchery, betraying the city’s rep as the one of the most boring places in the state.
• Finally, a movie everyone will hate equally: The new abortion documentary from the guy who made American History X.
• A more realistic version of the game Monopoly.

Who’s hungry?

• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi takes on the anti-war left … which happens to be her main constituency. That seems politically savvy, especially for an elected official from San Francisco.
• President Bush calls for clemency in the case of a Mexican illegal immigrant who raped and murdered two adolescent girls. This can only mean one thing: Someone has removed Bush from office and replaced him with an imposter!
• Catch the Republican debate last night? Wondering which candidates are full of shit? The Truth Squad has some answers.
• How’s that chicken pot pie treatin’ you?
• USC has completed the first Internet census since 1982, producing useful data and a new definition of the term “egg heads.”
• Bill Gates takes your questions. Well, OK, maybe not your questions …
• Rolling Stone has a first take on the new Radiohead album In Rainbows.
• With the trading deadline quickly approaching, the Bucs are scouring the NFL for a worthwhile running back on a team willing to make a deal.

“Yub Nub!”

• Al-Qaeda realizes it’s talking on a party line, hangs up the phone.
• Time for a third political party? Congressional Democrats prepare to expand the federal wiretapping program.
• Where will we find a cure for cancer? How about a 40-billion-gallon pit filled with toxic waste?
• George Lucas talks Indy 4. God, please don’t let aliens show up in the third act.
• Hero of the week: The 75-year-old woman who smashed up a Comcast cable office with a hammer in protest of the repeated delays to her “triple play” installation.
• A Lithia woman arrested for shoplifting and possession of methamphetamine is released after 50 days in the slammer. It turns out the meth was just cat piss. No, really.
• A little paranoia never hurt: Is that a C.I.A. drug plane registered to a dummy business in Florida?
• How in the world did the Bills lose that game?

In honor of Chris Matthews’ 10 years hosting MSNBC’s Hardball (and the comments he made at the anniversary party), all items on today’s Short List will be SHOUTED!!!

• CRAIG BLOWS IT IN COURT, PUSHES ON IN THE SENATE ANYWAY!!!
• FRED THOMPSON HAS TO ASK AUDIENCES TO APPLAUD!!!
• THE LIGHTNING ROCK THE DEVILS IN THE NHL SEASON OPENER!!!
• RIAA SUES, WINS $220K FROM A SINGLE MOM IN MINNESOTA!!!
• EXPLODING iPODS!!!
• INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST GREG PALAST NEEDS MONEY!!!
• ANN COULTER IS A SELF-HATING BITCH!!!
• HALO 3 RAKES IN $300 MIL IN A WEEK!!!

Fact or fiction?

• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, won’t get fooled again. The Trump Tower is back on.
• Ron Paul raised $5 million last quarter, causing the MSM to scratch its collective head, mutter “who?”
• That $5 million is about as much as Sen. John McCain raised in the same period. McCain, however, thinks the cash chase is overrated.
• You got to hand it to Bush: It takes super-sized balls to veto a bill that would have provided health care to four million poor kids. However, Bush is in favor of a bill confiscating all lollipops and having them delivered to the oval office.
• Jim Norman’s $40 million fantasy sports park, which PoHo wrote about last week, gets shelved by the county commission.
• Good news Bolts fans: Bright House is adding the NHL Network. How about adding the NFL Network next?
• Two California towns look to ban smoking in apartments and condos. Zombified residents eager to comply.
• Microsoft breaks out the new Zune. Warning: It’s still ugly as hell.

“And when he allied with Rocky, training the former champ for his rematch with Clubber Lang, Creed displayed a — what? Oops, sorry. Where am I again?”

• Hillary Clinton rakes in the dough.
• USF at #6! Watch out Florida Atlantic; the Bulls are coming for ya!
• How many dead monks does it take to fill a jungle? The leaders of the Myanmar’s military junta aren’t counting.
• Remember Rudy G. answering a call from his wife during a speech to the NRA? Turns out that wasn’t the first time … or the 30th.
• Head … going … to … explode: Rep. Jack Kingston (R – Ga.) introduced a resolution in the U.S. House of Representatives commending Rush Limbaugh.
• Smokin’! 2006 was a banner year for pot arrests.
• First look: The iTunes/Starbucks WiFi Music Store.
• Tired of recharging the laptop? How about a 30 year battery?

Here’s hoping West Virginia gets gored.

• Game Of The Year (So far): USF vs. West Virginia. Go Bulls!
• The Dan Rather vs. CBS lawsuit dishes some dirt. For example: Those “forged documents” proving Bush went AWOL are authentic; CBS systematically killed stories the administration wanted buried; and witnesses claim Bush didn’t do his Air National Guard service in 1972, instead spending his time “drinking, urinating on a car, screaming at police and trashing the apartment he had rented.” Hail to the chief, indeed.
• The Hard Rock Casino in Tampa prepares to unveil a new expansion … and to start dealing Blackjack.
• Remember that Seinfeld episode where Kramer and Newman stole a mail truck to transport bottles to Michigan for the 10-cent refund? So do these 10 new residents of the Detroit jail.
• Energy production goes back to the future as the nuclear power industry prepares for an expansion. The reasoning: It’s a partial solution to the climate crisis.
• Rush Limbaugh says the troops who come home from Iraq against the war are “phony soldiers.” One such “phony” is challenging Rush to an on-air debate over it. Breath-holding should be done at your own risk.
• Apple “bricks” some modified iPhones. Lawsuits are sure to follow.
• Harry Potter vs. Halo 3: What was the biggest entertainment launch ever?

Three crimes this week in St. Pete recall themes from last week’s CL story “Damage Control;” namely, a rising murder rate, declining numbers of police officers and frustrated residents who are relying on weapons instead of the police to protect themselves.

The first crime happened over the weekend. Miguel Bell was found dead in an alley off 21st Street South. Police say he had been shot multiple times. That makes Miguel the 23rd person murdered in St. Petersburg so far this year.

Then Tuesday evening, Derrick Pittis averted a home invasion when he shot an armed man who broke into his garage. The Times reports that Pittis recently bought his handgun after two people were killed during home invasions.

That same night, a man fleeing police sped the wrong way down I-275 and struck an oncoming car, killing a passenger and injuring three others.

According to the police reports, 32-year-old Charles Hicks first attempted to ram two police cruisers with his 1996 Ford Escort. When officers followed the Escort, Hicks drove the wrong way onto an I-275 exit ramp. Per department policy, officers did not pursue him as he sped the wrong way down the interstate. By the time police (traveling the right way on the interstate) caught up with the Escort, Hicks had already collided with another car.

Neighborhood activists will no doubt point to these three incidents as proof that St. Pete has a crime problem (Check out this week’s Influencer feature for Karl Nurse’s take on St. Pete crime). One of the main factors, they say, is the amount of officers leaving the department. Police union officials have told me some officers are leaving because of restrictive policies that they say prevent them from fighting crime. Policies like the department’s no-chase rules that prevented officers from aggressively pursuing last night’s reckless driver.

I’m guessing several cops are none too happy about that.

“That’s nice kid, but I’ll bet my home theater bitch-slaps yours.”

• Mixed Messages: New home sales continue to crater, but the economy seems to be humming along anyway.
• There are reasons you don’t outsource a war — just ask the State Department.
• Bad new for everybody: All types of alcohol raise the risk of breast cancer in women. Male scientists said to be hard at work on a new, non-carcinogenic inhibitions inhibitor.
• Researchers at Northwestern University think Alzheimer’s disease may actually be “type-3 diabetes.” Yeah, they didn’t know there was a third type either.
• Beginning of the end for iTunes? The DRM dam breaks as Amazon opens its own online music store, selling all songs without copy protection and for as low as $.89.
• Halo 3 makes $170 million in 24 hours (the best debut by a video game ever), clobbering the opening-day haul of every Hollywood blockbuster ever released. Yes, even Spider-Man 3.
• Who do you call when the fire station is burning down?
• Twilight for Barry Bonds.

Do you have anything of Washington D.C.?

• Is Al Gore waiting to collect his Nobel Prize before jumping into the 2008 presidential race? Christopher Hitchens considers it …
• WSJ to Rudy: Stop acting so weird!
• Loafie winner Sticks of Fire has some good links on Gov. Crist’s appointment of former Bucs middle linebacker Shelton Quarles to head the Tampa Bay Area Regional Transportation Authority. Quarles first order of business: Deciding whether to keep both “Area” and “Regional” in the title.
• Florida Power sees the light, decides to harness it for energy.
• A man walks into several Sarasota-area businesses pretending to be the guitar player from Creed. Do the patrons, a) play along but express doubts about the man’s true identity; b) buy the scam hook, line and sinker; or c) kick the shit out of the guy for being in such a lame-ass band?
• The vegetation is talking!
• Kiefer Sutherland runs afoul of the law … and wins the Award of Excellence from the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists. Not a bad 24 hours.
• What is the Navy trying to tell us here?

I shall smite thee with my kick-ass legal filings.

• Tropical systems usually approach Florida from the east or west, sparking days of breathless coverage and riots at Home Depot. This one skipped the foreplay and formed right over our heads.
• The Tasering of America: California says to Florida, “we’ll see your obnoxious college kid and raise you one 15-year-old autistic boy running in traffic.”
• Anyone else following the Florida Personal Injury Protection auto insurance drama, the Oct. 1 deadline and the uncertainty of what happens if the coverage lapses? I didn’t think so. You’re probably too busy preparing to bend over.
• Kill the messenger? Wal-Mart goes after the lab that discovered lead and chromium in imported Chinese toys.
• Famed documentary filmmaker Ken Burns returns with a 15-hour documentary on World War II. If ever there was a subject that slipped through the cracks of the media spotlight and has been denied its fair share of exposure and celebration, it’s WWII.
• Things not to wear to the airport: A circuit board adorned with blinking lights and sprouting wires that are connected to a battery. Kneading Play-Doh while wearing the outfit is also discouraged.
• The worst way imaginable to avoid life in prison? Agree to castration in exchange for only 25 years behind bars.
• Two F.S.U. players (including their best starting linebacker) were arrested in Tallahassee this morning after participating in a bar fight. I remember when F.S.U. players physically dominated opponents on the field. Yeah, it’s been a while …

What’s so funny, Mitchell?

• Here’s why Bush won’t attack Iran … or maybe he will … but probably not … we think.
• Dan Rather battles Viacom for $70 million. It’s like a cockfight in the hen house on the eve of the last full moon before the fourth of July!
• “The Empty Can” continues to rattle wildly, this time declaring war on Pakistani leader Gen. Pervez Musharraf.
• What are you reading on the plane? Homeland Security is keeping track.
• Republican lawmakers stand up for their president and block a Senate bill that required military personnel to get as much time at home as they spent in Iraq before redeployment. Possible Republican reasoning: You sleep when you’re dead, which for some of these guys won’t be long now, anyway.
• Tampa lands another hottie on ABC’s The Bachelor.
• Everyone’s favorite Devil Ray is in the news again: Did Elijah Dukes abscond with his kids?
• Is that a choking noise I hear coming from New England?

M.I.A.: One noted local blogger. Last heard from: Aug. 30th. Whereabouts? Unknown.

• The UF Tasering — Day Three: The police claim that post-arrest, unruly student Andrew Meyer told them they did nothing wrong. Case closed, I guess.
• St. Petersblog has a funny post about the tasering, including a shot of the must-have T-shirt of 2007.
• Party like it’s 1994! O.J. faces a life behind bars. Again.
• St. Pete’s airport gets a new carrier offering nine flights a week. Is it Jetblue? Southwest? Nope. It’s Myrtle Beach Direct Air!
• Round two for Hillary and health care.
• Condi tells the International Atomic Energy Agency to butt-out of conversations about Iran’s quest for atomic energy. Because when it comes to rogue states and nuclear weapons, who you gonna believe: the Bush Administration or the I.A.E.A.?
• Racist of the Day: Jesse Jackson, who said Barack Obama’s response to a Louisiana case involving six black kids is tantamount to “acting like he’s white.” That Jesse; always acting like he’s black.
• *Rachel goes bye-bye. Again.

UPDATE: I failed to mention in my Jesse vs. Barack item that our sister publication in Sarasota ran a column by Amy Goodman on the case and the “Jena Six.” You can check that out here.

What is today?

Well, it’s the second day of Rosh Hashanah for one. And for Muslims, the second day of Ramadan. But it’s also the fourth day of Hello From My Heart week.

You may remember “Hello From My Heart” from an Urban Explorer column I wrote last year. I heard about this rotund man, Gary Schineller, who liked saying “hello from my heart” to random strangers. He swore up and down that the simple act of a meaningful “hello” could prevent crime and create community.

So, to test that theory, I brought him to one of Tampa’s roughest neighborhoods to see if he could spread some happiness there. I’ve always treasured the look on his face when we first arrived on that street full of broken bottles, barking pit bulls and sneering hoodlums.

But it seems Schineller one-upped me this year: He got the chance to spread his message in jail! Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t of his own volition.

As the Tampa Tribune reports, Schineller spent Sunday night in Land O’ Lakes’ jail after he was arrested on charges of drunk driving, DUI property damage and leaving the scene of an accident involving property damage. A state trooper arrested our friendly source after he allegedly hit a car on his way home and didn’t stop. The driver of the damaged vehicle followed Schineller to his New Port Richey home and called the cops.

(I wonder if Schineller actually greeted this man with a enthusiastic, and slurred, “Hello, from my heart! And I’m really sorry about slamming into your car. Really, from my heart.”)

The trooper reported Schineller’s blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. No word from Schineller on where he was coming from or if Hello, etc. Week festivities will go on. But there was an event planned this Friday and Saturday where Carol Mitchell is slated to sing the Hello From My Heart anthem.

It is being held at The Cabana in Clearwater, a bar and grill.

Happy New Year.

• Bigger, stronger, more crazy than ever: al-Qaeda is back.
• Anbar province has been hailed as a model of progress in Iraq. Bush just visited the area, meeting with Abdul Sittar Bezea al-Rishawi (the “desert warrior” who first organized Sunni tribes against al-Qaeda) and giving us all hope Iraq could be turning around. In other news: Abdul Sittar Bezea al-Rishawi got blowed-up real good by a roadside bomb today.
• Bush to address the nation tonight. Atlantic Free Press has a startling preview of his address.
• Did moveon.org get a sweetheart deal on that “Betray Us?” ad? The New York Times would never kiss and tell.
• Getting to know: Hillsborough County Commissioner Brian Blair.
• Kathy Griffin says “Suck it Jesus!” in her Emmy acceptance speech, causing outrage among Christian conservatives and leading the show’s producers to cut the segment from the live broadcast. Griffin was clearly in the wrong here. “Lick it Jesus!” would have been more anatomically correct.
• From the “Who Knew?” file: During his lifetime, Honeymooners star Jackie Gleason amassed a sizable library of occult books. The comedian’s collection is now on display at a Miami museum.
• The most amazing rationale for killing one’s parents I’ve ever heard.

If Mick and Keith can still do it, why not Robert and Jimmy?

• Vlad Putin dissolves the Russian government, and the Russian military tests a new bomb they claim is four times as powerful as the strongest U.S. conventional weapon. Bush has got to be jealous.
• In testimony to congress Gen. David Patraeus says he doesn’t know if the war in Iraq is making America safer. Wait, is that why we’re fighting this thing? I thought it was to find contraband WMD/eliminate Saddam/spread democracy/contain Iran/fight al-Qaeda/bring peace to the Middle East/Reduce the cost of gasoline.
• The price of crude oil: Up. The stockpile of gasoline: Down. Your wallet: Soon-to-be empty.
• More great news on the economy: You think I can get my paycheck in Euros?
• What’s wrong with this headline? #1: “Small tsunami follows powerful earthquake in Indonesia.”
• What’s wrong with this headline? #2: “Led Zepplin Rises Again.” (And no, it’s not that Bonham is still dead.)*
• Even more fun with headlines: “Disney violates Chinese labour laws: report.” China has labor laws? Who knew?
• Gee, I wonder why Bucs receiver David Boston passed out in his car?
• Jon Stewart’s back as Oscar host.

*-UPDATE: Pollstar has fixed the spelling of “Zeppelin” in their headline. I should have taken a screen capture. My bad, folks.

Looks like the threat of budget crunches is producing some novel ideas for combating jail overcrowding in Florida, including re-institution of chain gangs and placement of low-risk inmates in “tent cities.” (St. Petersburg homeless, take note.)

But those ideas aren’t that novel.

Arizona’s Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, which handles criminals arrested in hot spots like Phoenix (one of my old stomping grounds), has had both programs in place ever since the unorthodox Sheriff Joe Arpaio was elected in 1992. The self-proclaimed “toughest sheriff in America” made headlines when he set up a tent city in Phoenix and reinstituted chain gangs, including the first all-female chain gang in recent history.

The effect?

The tent city purportedly saved money by staving off the construction of a $70 million bricks-and-mortar jail. But the less tangible costs started to pour through like the holes in said tents: lawsuits, two riots, federal probes and condemnations from such organizations as Amnesty International. That’s not even counting the bad publicity that didn’t seem to scare Phoenix criminals (violent crime has risen steadily with the growth of the city).

“Chain Gang” Charlie Crist and state lawmakers might want to think long and hard before they decide to set up tent cities in Florida’s sweltering heat or shackle up inmates to work our roads.

It could end up costing a lot more than they think.

Un-happy anniversary.

• The city of New York struggles to find a balance between satisfying the requests of 9/11 victim’s families and keeping those family members safe from falling debris at an active construction site.
• 81% of people polled say 9/11 is the most most significant historical event of their lifetime. Yes, even more important that Nipplegate or Beckham coming to America.
• The St. Pete Times looks at how local businesses are remembering 9/11, and profiles a recently deceased Tampa man whose life was forever changed in those saddest of New York minutes.
• Bin Laden praises Noam Chomsky, talks about U.S. tax policy and takes the democrats to task. Maybe there is an al-Qaeda-Daily Kos connection after all.
• Checking in with: The 9/11 Truth movement.
• As seen on The 941: How do you teach 9/11 to kids who weren’t even an itch in their daddy’s pants in 2001?
• Paging George Orwell: The Department of Homeland Security is set to open the National Applications Office. Their mission: To spy on U.S. Americans such as in the United States.
• Do you have a left-wing brain or a right-wing brain?

Feel the buzz!

• Just in time for the anniversary of 9/11: He’s baaaaack!
• Two dudes get into a fight over a woman at Channelside. Someone gets stabbed; someone gets arrested. No cruise passengers were harmed in the making of this story.
• Comcast Cable starts cutting off Internet users who use “too much” bandwidth. How much is too much? Comcast won’t say. How do you monitor your usage? Comcast won’t say. Anyone else smell a lawsuit?
• The dollar just hit a 15-year low against other people’s money. Oh, and four straight years of month-to-month job growth ended last month. Add in the mortgage debacle and the health of the stock market — is anyone else worried about the “R” word?
• I tend to link to a lot of liberal/progressive sites, so here is an equal time moment: A list of conservative blogs that you should be reading regardless of party affiliation, direct from the good folks at the State of Sunshine blog.
• This is clearly not offensive at all. (Thanks whoever Dugg this!)
• Football is back … and man the Colts look good.
• Speaking of which: The Bucs unfurled a giant flag at One Buc Palace yesterday. Is someone trying to compensate for a rather diminutive winning percentage?

Who’s hungry?

• Fred takes the plunge.
• Israel and Syria, apparently jealous of all the death and destruction just over the horizon, start provoking each other with fly overs and warning shots.
• Sen. Larry Craig decides to stay on, further flushing Republican electoral chances down the toilet.
• China, man! Bush to attend the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing.
• Busch Gardens has Jungala fever.
• Prank of the week: A guy dressed as Osama bin Laden takes his motorcade through two police checkpoints and gets to within a few blocks of President Bush.
• If you just bought an iPhone, I’m sorry …
• R.I.P. Luciano Pavarotti.