Blurbex

Last year, Creative Loafing (then Weekly Planet) dared to sum up Tampa Bay in 100 bullet points with “The Must-Do List: 100 Things You Gotta Do to Be a True Resident of Tampa Bay.”
We received lots of praise for that story, but also lots of letters, emails, and questions — questions like, “Why wasn’t such-and-such on the list?” and “How could you have missed so-and-so?” and “Did you know that Must-Do Item #XX has closed down?”
So, though we know many of you have not yet checked off enough items to make it from Hermit (21-40 items) to Homeowner (41-60), let alone to True Local (100), we decided it was time to refresh the list.
And we’ve got just the right guys to do it. Brian Reed and Ted Scheinman are two complete newbies to Florida, here for a summer internship before they return for their last semester at Yale. They’ve already traveled across the country, writing about the people they’ve met and places they’ve been for something they call the American Backyard project. But they didn’t make it to Florida – till now.
Introducing our newest blog: “Must-Do II: The Hundred Things You Gotta Do When You’re New To Tampa Bay.”

Net radio hasn’t been saved yet, but its demise won’t be Monday, according to Wired.com.

Because negotiations are under way between SoundExchange (the nonprofit offshoot of the RIAA that collects royalties from digital media), payment has been postponed until an agreement has been worked out. This gives Congress time to work on passing the Internet Radio Equality Act.

Also, the House Small Business Committee yesterday introduced H.R. 3015, which gives small webcasters a 60-day grace period before SoundExchange can send their collection agencies a’knockin.

Committee Chairwoman Nydia Velázquez said of the bill: “There has not yet been an agreement reached that provides fair compensation to artists while allowing broadcasters to stay on the air without excessive fees.”

The Loaf newsroom just received word of a major accident on I-275 South in St. Pete. According to the county, just before 1 p.m. today a rock hauler traveling south hit the guard rail and flipped over just past 54th Avenue N. (Exit 26). The truck burst into flames (since extinguished) and spilled 80-100 gallons of fuel onto the road. Per the press release:

“St. Petersburg Hazmat is handling the cleanup, which will include bringing a backhoe and dump truck full of dirt to the scene for absorption. During this maneuver, traffic will be restricted to one lane on the southbound side of the highway.”

That sounds like it’s going to take a few minutes, so consider this your head’s up: If you’re commuting to St. Pete from Tampa this afternoon, you might want to consider taking the Gandy Bridge or the Causeway.

Drive safe, everyone!

UPDATE: As of 4:30, Florida Highway Patrol has I-275 southbound as closed. Good luck getting home, Burgers.

We love elections! And bullet points! Here’s a little bit of both:

• Clinton and Obama in a dead heat.

• “Some things are worth losing elections over,” says the candidate currently in fifth place.

• Ever seen 10 men run from Bush as fast as their geriatric legs will take them?

• U.S. Court of Appeals rules if Bush & Cheney can blurt out profanity over the airwaves, the F.C.C. has no right to punish broadcasters for similar offenses. Fuckin’-A right!

• War is hell. “I wish it would end already!”

• Outsourcing Morning Roundup?

• Michael Moore’s on Oprah today pimping his new flick Sicko.

• Everyone remain calm: Paris is fine. She may even have a new roommate soon.

(Thanks Dawn M. for the assist.)

The PoHo is on vacation all this week, leaving us depressed and counting the hours until we can escape another dreary Monday. You too, huh? Let’s kill some time together with today’s Afternoon Roundup:

Debating Dems pound each other over the war in Iraq.

Congressman William Jefferson finally gets his Louisiana indictment.

The Billy Donovan drama drags on, as the Magic look at an ex Miami Heat coach and consider whether or not to seek damages from their waffling ex-future head coach.

Dr. Death speaks.

And speaking of death: the military is hard at work on an underwater gun. Al-Qaida has reportedly put the plans for their Deep Sea Alpha Terrorist Training Camp on hold.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

Techies and Early Adopters rejoice! The Apple iPhone drops on June 29.

After getting a verbal smackdown from Sarah Silverman at the MTV Movie Awards, Paris Hilton was so eager to escape the public eye that she reported to jail two days early.

Wayne is out for the next week and the kids are running amok… 

This one’s for the dogs: The ASPCA reports that some 30K animals euthanized in Hillsborough each year could be saved if animal shelters improved a few policies.

Tyra Banks a “dork?” Doubtful. Now this guy’s got it in the bag.

Between this and the two minute bedroom “cycle,” what ever will we do with all our spare time?

Frampton comes alive at Taste of Pinellas (with proceeds to benefit All
Children’s Hospital).

Lock up your grandma! Dr. Death is a free man once again.

A real canceled TV show about a fictional struggling TV show airs its last five episodes, in which the fictional show-within-a-show is facing cancellation. To keep your head from exploding, Jay Black of TV Squad offers an explanation.

“I need a Whopper. Take me to the Burger King or I’ll shoot you in the face
with my B.B. Gun!”

Things are getting very Harry at Universal Orlando.

“Funny article, I’ve been to Elmer’s,” writes Eric Swanson in an email that refers to my recent Bar Tab column “Car bomb backfire.” “If you want a true car bomb go to The Dirty Shame in Ybor. Richard Boom’s (former owner of The Irish Pub) new pub. The proper car bomb has the Jameson in the Guinness and the Baileys in a shot glass.

“[The photo] is Richard Boom’s 56th Birthday,” Swanson continues. “And he lined up 56 car bombs on the bar and 56 people downed them together.”

I’ve sipped Jameson at The Dirty Shame a month or so ago and plan to return for a car bomb in the near future. Cheers.

Architect Stanley Saitowitz presented his preliminary design for the new Tampa Museum of Art today in a meeting with some of the museum’s trustees.

The mood in the room was jubilant, and rightfully so. The structure Saitowitz is proposing—subject to the approval of the entire board of trustees next week—takes part in an international conversation about the future of museum architecture. It is a world-class design for a structure in a medium-sized city.

Saitowitz’s museum would sit along the Riverwalk, flanked by the Poe Garage (to the north), a new park designed by landscape architect Thomas Balsley (to the south), and the new children’s museum (to the east).

Sure, it looks like a box, but that’s not a bad thing.

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OK, so David Warner isn’t the only Creative Loafing staffer who doesn’t know how to read the warning signs.

Any right-minded person who had to drive my car this morning from the Tyrone Square Mall area of St. Pete to CL’s headquarters on the corner of Lemon and Howard in Tampa would have taken one look at the fuel gauge and thought, “Better gas up.”

Not me.

Not that it didn’t cross my mind. In fact, I kinda sorta (read: not at all seriously) considered adding a few gallons to the tank before deciding that I was already late enough for work and should just take my chances. Chances that I considered heavily stacked in my favor.

In my defense, my car and I have had an understanding (at least I thought we did) that a needle hovering precariously close to “E” isn’t as dire as it might seem (at least I thought it wasn’t). You see, I’ve owned my ’85 Mercury Marquis for over 11 years, and in that time, I like to think I’ve come to know her pretty well. And one of the things I’ve taken for granted is that her needle usually belies the truth about how much is left in the tank. One look at the fuel gauge and she’s nearly running on empty. Glance away, look back and voila, a comfortable breathing room has appeared.
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Here are a couple of pics taken by CL Finance guru London Fajkus of the Weary Boys at New World Brewery in Ybor City last night. The highlight of the show, for me, was a tasty cover of the Hank Williams classic “Jambalaya,” which made the rustic courtyard feel like a Bayou juke joint.

from Dawn Morgan:

Noelle Price was coming through town from California, as she often does, to play bars and clubs and visit her friend Lara Cerri.

Lara asked her Parson Brown bandmate Ed Lehmann if he knew of any place they all could play together. Ed made some calls and came up with New World Brewery, adding local music staples Rebekah Pulley, Cat Cheshire, and Natty Moss-Bond to a bill he lovingly called Girls with Guitars. He would like it to be the first in a series.

When the show started at 7, there was about 35 people around the courtyard. Many more straggled into the bar throughout the night.

Jenny Lewis’ Rabbit Fut Coat played between sets and I recommended the Framboise to all the non-beer drinking ladies (and Ed).

Conversation tidbits heard throughout the night: from singing to books to the unfairness of paying tax on tampons.

Ed’s wife, Jennifer Hollowell, is host of the ND Hour on WMNF, and a full time “cookie baking” stay-at-home mom. She used to go with her friend Bev to Orlando or Atlanta at the drop of a hat. But she’s so tired by the end of the day, Jen says she only made it out tonight because the show started so early. “Most shows don’t start until 10. I’m in bed by then.”

Cat Cheshire (pictured left with friend Jaime Jensen), originally from Reading, England, came to the States 4 years ago after meeting Joe, an American, backpacking in Thailand. Cat had been living in Cardiff, Wales where she enjoyed “loads of music clubs, art and underground stuff. A very eclectic scene.” She misses the down-to-earth Welsh people and loves their music, but finds it comparable to Tampa and St. Pete.

Alas, she hasn’t been getting out much lately due to being “busy writing very bad songs.”

Carrie Waite, techie by day and some-time photographer for CL, was out supporting friend Natty Moss-Bond. They are apart of a group of girlfriends that periodically go out. “It started with Monday night facials and turned into 30 of us going out to the Garden.”

Natty performs every Thursday night (Ladies Night) at Dave’s Aqua Lounge, along with April Maxwell, Rebekah Pulley, and female allies Meyer Baron and Crash Mitchell. “All kinds of girls will join us,” Natty said. “Sometimes poet Lori Karpay. We play acoustic, just a couple of mics plugged into the P.A.”

Despite the line up of local all-stars, Natty says not many women make it out to the weekly event. It makes her think back 20 years, when she was just beginning to play rock ‘n’ roll in high school. “There wasn’t a single girl when I started playing. It was more acceptable for them to be in the church choir or in chorus.”

But Natty confirms that it’s changed by leaps and bounds. “The amount of women that play music has increased exponentially in every genre. Things really are changing, for the first time in history we’re getting to be even.”

However, she adds that some club owners still don’t give her the time of day, but will speak with her male band mates in an instant. “You have to be really stubborn in any industry. Banker, lawyer, reporter – just to get your foot in the door.”

Still, Natty is well known for being just plain nice. She cites the early band days when club owners would try to chump change the musicians after playing a gig. The guys in her band wouldn’t stand up to owners, instead sending Natty when it was time to collect.

“How could you be mean to this face?” Natty says, eyelashes aflutter. They’d hand over the money no problem.

From yesterday’s Red Sox-Angels game. A foul ball, some spilled beer and one airborn slice make for a pretty funny YouTube moment.

My fiancé Phil and I were shopping for housewares and discussing our inability to spend money on frivolous decorations. Right around the time I was loudly bemoaning the $199 price tag on a sunburst mirror, a dude who was looking at vases in the same aisle — and obviously listening to our exchange — chuckled. We turned to him, he turned to us, and he smiled and asked, “Have you lived here for long?”

Alarm bells should have gone off right then, but the fellow, who introduced himself as “Brian,” seemed friendly enough and we were drawn into conversation with him because he admitted early on that he and his wife were somewhat new to the area and didn’t know too many people. We spent 15 minutes or so chatting with the guy and the conversation ended with me giving him my card and Phil’s phone number so that we could all get together for coffee one day. I left the encounter feeling all warm and fuzzy, my mind conjuring up images of Phil and I double-dating with “Brian” and his mystery wife — going to dinner, getting coffee, taking in a show.

Less than a week later, “Brian” was calling Phil and asking him if he and I wanted to make some money. Phil was immediately dubious, but decided to listen to what “Brian” had to say, which was basically that we’d have to go to his office for a presentation about a moneymaking plan he wanted to share with us. Phil wasn’t having it, and after much back and forth it became apparent that “Brian” only befriended us so that he could sell us something that he wouldn’t tell us anything about unless it was in person. My fiancé was pretty steamed by that point and the phone call ended shortly thereafter.

Phil didn’t seemed surprised by the call when he told me about it later. But I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I walked away from the “Brian” encounter thinking we’d made a new friend and was deeply troubled by the realization that he initiated a relationship under completely false pretenses. Was this dude just hanging around Target and waiting for the chance to “meet” a few unsuspecting shoppers, whom he’d later try to sell his whatever to? Or, did he just happen to be shopping himself and couldn’t resist what he thought was a perfect marketing opportunity? I don’t know, but one thing I did learn: Making random new friends at a Target is hit-or-miss at best.

Just another reminder:

Sometime this week, we are going to flip the switch and move our blog, Blurbex, over to a new server inside our CL website. (This is not exactly the exciting part.) You can find the new Blurbex here, with RSS feeds here.

As part of this move, we’re creating three new blogs.

First, we’re spinning out our political coverage to its own blog, Political Whore. The blog will be here, and you can get your RSS feeds from here. I’m going to move Morning Roundup over to Political Whore but will crosspost it to Blurbex for those used to getting their fill of AM snark.

Second, we’re starting a new music blog, focusing on the best shows coming to Tampa Bay and our area’s great local acts. Wade Tatangelo will helm this blog, likely with some help along the way. Tampa Calling will be found here, and RSS feed here.

And third, our killer food writer and restaurant critic Brian Ries is getting his own blog, Eat My Florida. You’ll get the inside scoop on where he’s been eating � and what he’s been eating. The new blog is here, and the RSS here. Once Brian recovers from eating all that pizza he will be up and running on Eat My Florida.

Mayor Pam Iorio has hired a transit manager to “focus solely” on getting a working transit system in Tampa and the region. In an announcement this afternoon, her office said:

Elaine R. McCloud has been selected by Mayor Pam Iorio to serve as the city�s Transit Manager. McCloud will bring over 25 years of public and private sector transit management experience to the city.

McCloud previously worked for the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) where she developed and implemented transit initiatives at the local and regional level. As the General Manger for Paratransit Operations at CTA she managed an annual budget of over $70 million and served as an advisor to the executive team on critical transit issues. During her tenure at the Detroit Department of Transportation, McCloud monitored and enforced all aspects of the Americans with Disabilities Act and provided guidance for over 900 employees to comply with federal requirements.

McCloud will be paid $95K.

I’ve got some exciting Creative Loafing blog news for you all. Sometime this week, we are going to flip the switch and move our blog, Blurbex, over to a new server inside our CL website. (This is not exactly the exciting part.) You can find the new Blurbex here, with RSS feeds here.

As part of this move, we’re creating three new blogs.

First, we’re spinning out our political coverage to its own blog, Political Whore. The blog will be here, and you can get your RSS feeds from here. I’m going to move Morning Roundup over to Political Whore but will crosspost it to Blurbex for those used to getting their fill of AM snark.

Second, we’re starting a new music blog, focusing on the best shows coming to Tampa Bay and our area’s great local acts. Wade Tatangelo will helm this blog, likely with some help along the way. Tampa Calling will be found here, and RSS feed here.

And third, our killer food writer and restaurant critic Brian Ries is getting his own blog, Eat My Florida. You’ll get the inside scoop on where he’s been eating Ñ and what he’s been eating. The new blog is here, and the RSS here. Once Brian recovers from eating all that pizza he will be up and running on Eat My Florida.

I’ll let you know when the switchover occurs, but in the meantime, adjust your browsers and newsreaders accordingly. And let us know what you think about the new blogs. Just click "post comment" below.

Tampa City Council Chairwoman (again) Gwen Miller wasn’t even two weeks from her triumphant victory over Joe Redner when she moved to assert herself in a way that the public hadn’t seen in her previous 12 years in office. Miller, criticized by Redner and others for being too silent on the council, smacked down colleague Linda Saul Sena’s request to remain on the MPO, which sets transportation policy for the area. (Saul Sena has served for 20 years on that board.)

Instead, Miller appointed the least-transit-friendly councilman, Joseph Caetano, despite saying she supported Tampa Bay’s transit dreams.

A few days later, at the City Council’s first full meeting on Thursday, she appointed newly elected Councilman Thomas Scott as chairman of the city’s Community Redevelopment Agency, which controls urban redevelopment dollars and projects in Tampa. Scott, if you recall, nearly blew up the Bank of America’s plans to redevelop Central Park Village over the issue of forcing the creation of seats for two county commissioners on the city’s CRA. Scott couldn’t gain a foothold on the city CRA as a county official; he now runs it, thanks to Miller.

Rudy Giuliani — the man who would carry the presidential election in Florida if it were held today, according to the latest Quinnipiac University poll — sounded an awful lot like Jack Bauer in his biggest Tampa Bay appearance to date today: It’s all about fighting the terrorists.

"Before September 11th, we were playing defense," Giuliani told the crowd of about 500 at St. Petersburg High School this afternoon. "We put ourselves in jeopardy when we play defense." America’s mayor explained that he doesn’t blame any president in the past for not responding to terror stronger and earlier, saying "I don’t blame people for that. Government is real complicated. They didn’t perceive the danger. I don’t blame them."

But now that the threat is real and demonstrated, Giuliani said, not keeping America on the offense, by using the military the way we have in Afghanistan and Iraq, is irresponsible. In a post-9/11 world, "there is no excuse," Giuliani said. (The juxtaposition of Giuliani’s positions with the Democratic Congressional effort to set a withdrawal date for Iraq and Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s presence in Syria was not lost on the partisan crowd, which cheered his oblique attack against their rival party.)

The Republican frontrunner condoned the use of the military, surveillance, the Patriot Act and tough and forceful ("but legal") interrogations as important components of staying on the offensive against terrorists.

Guiliani also advocated a "free market" solution to the nation’s health care crisis, including health care savings accounts. He was introduced and flanked by two dozen prominent supporters, including state Attorney General Bill McCollum (named earlier in the day as Giuliani’s Florida chairman), GOP icon Congressman C.W. Bill Young and Congresswoman Ginnie Browne-Waite.

Giuliani got a strong welcome from the Pinellas Republican Party, whose leaders have certainly chosen sides in the crowded primary contest. Not surprising given the fact that Chairman Tony DiMatteo is a native New Yorker and proud graduate of Brooklyn Tech. He stood at the door to St. Pete High this afternoon and greeted VIPs with a hearty, "You here to meet the next president of the United States?"

Finally, Giuliani was presented with a Green Devils warm-up jacket by members of the student body, emblazoned with "Rudy 44" on the back. Giuliani laughed and held it up, saying the number had great significance for him. "You think you know why," he said, alluding to the fact that he would be president No. 44 if elected. "But this is why: This was Reggie Jackson’s number."

Will the ‘controversial crash test robot artwork’ self-destruct successfully? Will the Defense Dept. send emissaries to retrieve their dummies? Will Homeland Security send the artist to Guantanamo? These are just some of the questions provoked by artist David Karave’s project as part of Art Against Fear, which should make for a scary Friday the 13th (and Saturday the 14th) at that cigar factory Alex Pickett wrote about.

OK, I wasn’t going to talk about this — a shame thing, really — but I unloaded at the edit meeting this morning and it felt better, so here goes: If you were trying to get to the Grand Prix festivities last Friday night, and you were late because some dumb-ass in a Mini Cooper ran out of gas in the middle of the Howard Frankland Bridge, I apologize. Because that dumb-ass was me.
I don’t know how I managed to ignore the red light on my dashboard, or the signage reminding me that I was about to cross a long bridge. I was headed to a birthday dinner for my 89-year-old mother, and maybe was so preoccupied with getting there on time that I forgot the small matter of fuel. Or maybe it’s just that I’m a dumb-ass. But let me tell you, there are few things more terrifying than being stuck in the middle of the Howard Frankland Bridge expecting that at any moment a semi will come along and flatten your Mini, with you inside. I resorted to something resembling prayer for the first time in, oh, 40 years.
Maybe it worked. Because — no help from AAA, who sent their dispatcher to Howard AVENUE, not the Howard FRANKLAND — I was saved by Dan the Repo Man, who towed me to a gas station on Ulmerton for 40 bucks. A friendly guy with the sideburned hipster look of a drummer in a garage band, he told me later that he avoids stopping for breakdowns; it inevitably leads to trouble, or pleas for free auto-repair advice. But he made an exception in my case because of the look on my face: pure panic.
So that’s another reason for me to write this post — to thank Dan the Repo Man once again. And to alert any of you in imminent danger of getting your vehicle repossessed, that if the repossessor is a friendly, sideburned guy who looks like a drummer in a garage band, please don’t shoot.