Blurbex

I’m sure you’ve read the sad accounts of Whaley’s Market closing in South Tampa. (Our own CL music critic Wade Tatangelo even devoted a Top 10 to them). But one neighborhood is not content to wallow in pity over the independent grocery store’s demise.

Residents of Seminole Heights are begging Whaley’s to relocate to their side of town. Seminole Heights doesn’t have a neighborhood market — it’s something they’ve wanted for years. So, the Official Unofficial Seminole Heights blog bought Whalley’s website address and is promising free advertising on its website. They’ve also put a call out to other residents and blogs to spread the word.

Check out the call to action here.

1. Start your Monday with some good old fashioned absurdity  – check out Rockafire Explosion, an animatronic band of animals (formerly of ShowBiz Pizza Place restaurants) who are enjoying a YouTube revival with performances of anything from the White Stripes’ “Conquest,” to Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” to Usher’s “Love in this Club.” Pictured: Comedian/cymbalist Rolfe deWolfe.

2. See the Girlie Show at the Studio at 620.

3. Listen to “Id Engager,” the new single from Of Montreal’s forthcoming release, Skeletal Lamping.

4.  For tonight’s edition of Poets Live! at Largo Library, the group focuses on the late poet William Stafford and the topic “Order.”  

5. Night three of the 2008 Summer  Olympic Games on NBC includes gymnastics (men’s team final), swimming (men’s 200m free, men and women’s 100m back, and women’s breaststroke final), women’s beach volleyball (a U.S. match) and men’s diving (platform synchronized final).  

First, it was Bernie Mac, dead of pneumonia.

Then, Isaac Hayes, dead of treadmilling.

Who will complete the trilogy of dead African American celebs? I asked my colleagues:

“Morgan Freeman was supposed to be the first one, but somehow escaped the grim reaper in his car crash.”

“Samuel L. Jackson, he was working on a project with Hayes and Mac.”

But the best answer:

“Robert Downey Jr.“

In today’s St. Pete Times, political columnist Adam C. Smith says it’s time for Gov. Charlie Crist to forget about any vice presidential aspirations he might still be harboring, citing the “return $50,000 of suspicious campaign donations [to John McCain] funneled through Charlie Crist’s pal and top fundraiser, Harry Sargeant III of Boca Raton.”

Earlier today, Crist appeared on CNN’s Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer and probably did little to boost his chances in McCain’s veep-stakes. Right out of the gate, when Blitzer asked Crist if he’d been through the vetting process for vice president, the governor said he was unable to comment. Blitzer then said, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’”

After a brief, awkward pause, Crist responded, “You can take that anyway you want to.”

The balance of the interview consisted of Crist giving his support to McCain, calling him a “maverick” (where have we heard that before?) who opposed President Bush’s 2005 energy policy while Barack Obama voted for it. As he spoke, Crist looked and sounded like he was on autopilot.

When the topic of nuclear energy and Crist’s support for it came up, the guv smarmily pointed out that Blitzer’s mother is a Florida resident. It was a meaningless, patronizing reference (and one that Blitzer quickly moved past) in an otherwise Stepford Wives-like performance. Crist didn’t embarrass himself, but he also didn’t do anything to steal the limelight from Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty.

We’ve finally found something that President George W. Bush is good at:  

Cheerleader. 

Jock prez Bush has been all over the Beijing Olympics, sitting in the stands, kibitzing with the athletes, riding the mountain bike course. After beach volleyballer Misty May-Treanor invited him to slap her on the ass – a customary gesture of encouragement – Bush obliged with a little tap on her lower back. C’mon Dubya, get into the spirit, man. She offered. And she has a pretty nice ass.

I don’t blame Bush for living it up at the Olympics. He’s the ultimate lame duck who’s just cashing in on his VIP status, milking all the swag he can get. 

It’s a bit of a sad commentary, of course: Bush waving to the athletes from the stands, winking, smiling his fratboy smile. He’s a good fan, a true believer, a total U.S. Olympic team booster. He seems so much in his element.  

Which just underscores how bad he is at everything else. At the Olympics, he is excelling as a figurehead. If only we could’ve kept him in that role for the last eight years.

 Do yourself a favor and watch the U.S.A. Basketball team in the Olympics. I just saw them rout China, and was impressed.

Yes, there was the assortment of spectacular dunks and amazing no-look passes, but the U.S. players didn’t come off as showboaters. It’s just how they play – frenetic and fast-paced. The Redeem Team, as they’ve been dubbed (because of recent failures by U.S.A. Basketball in international competition), shows good character and consummate teamwork.

They’re entertaining because they play fastbreak basketball, keying their offense off smothering defense (steals leading to highlight dunks). (Anyone under the preposterous notion that NBA players don’t play D should watch these guys.) It’s really refreshing to witness hoops being played by magicians in a wide-open style. 

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So, it finally happens: Airport security has gotten so ridiculous, and we’ve become such fearful little hamsters, that by the end of the year, we’ll all be submitting to electronic strip searches.

I don’t want to linger on the civil liberties questions raised by the Tampa International Airport’s purchase of four body imaging machines. It wouldn’t do much good anyway, TSA already purchased them.

But if you still believe TSA’s good intentions, let me point out three things that seemed to slip by St. Petersburg Times reporters.

First, a quote by our local Transportation Security Administration spokesman John Van Dyke:

“Our goal is to be proficient with them before the Super Bowl,” in Tampa in February, he said.

Mr. Van Dyke seems to imply that these will help keep Tampa and her tourists safe during the Super Bowl. But those scanners would only scan travelers leaving Tampa, not those coming in for the event.

Second, another TSA spokesman, Christopher White, tells the Times that they will protect passenger’s privacy:

Images are deleted after viewing, and officers can’t “save, store, print or transmit” them, said TSA spokesman Christopher White.

Then tell me — how did the Times get a photo for the front of their Metro section? This is not even going into the fact that nearly everyone has cell phone cameras these days.

Third, White claims the images are detailed, but do not show nudity:

He describes the images as robotic, like someone in a tight-fitting leotard. “You can see detail, but it’s not a naked picture,” White said.

So, do you mind telling me what those nipple-like dots are on the breasts of the woman pictured on the Times website?

This post is not about Brett Favre. Well, peripherally, perhaps. Local sports-talk radio is abuzz in the aftermath of the Bucs’ failed attempt to trade for [you know who], the main issue being how incumbent QB Jeff Garcia will react.

Garcia’s always been an underdog type — too small, not a great arm — so in one sense, he’s been through this sort of thing before; in another sense, he’s probably fuckin’ tired of it.

The question being posed is: Will his hard feelings about the Bucs courting [you know who] affect his play? I say, not a chance.

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1. See photos taken by Bay area youths, works by more than 60 local artists, wine and more during Tampa Artist Emporium’s monthly Arts Mixer on Saturday evening. Pictured below: An original shot by Megan of Alpha House.

2. Nervous Turkey hawks its new album, Fat Boy Likes to Roll, at a CD Release Party at New World Brewery this Friday night; Big Jef Special provides support.

3. Last weekend to see the Diversity in Aviation juried art exhibit at St. Petersburg Museum of History. A closing party on Sunday features talks by an assortment of aviation experts as well as an awards ceremony announcing the exhibit winners.

4. Amanda Shaw returns to the Bay area and plays a show at Skipper’s Smokehouse.

5. Musicians who peaked in the 1960’s and early ‘70’s — Jack Bruce of Cream, The Turtles feat. Flo & Eddie, Badfinger, Eric Burdon & the Animals, and a few others – take the stage at Ruth Eckerd Hall for Hippiefest.

After Suncoast Resort announced it was closing last year, Gypsy Productions — the Bay area’s sole purveyor of gay alternative theater — found itself without a home. Gypsy Artistic Director Trevor Kellor has recently returned to the scene and stages his company’s first production in more than a year later at The Ritz in (Ga)Ybor. The play is MoisĂŠs Kaufman’s Gross Indecency: The Three Trials Of Oscar Wilde, which uses trial transcripts, personal correspondence, interviews and other source materials to document Wilde’s downfall. The show runs Aug. 29-Sept. 14.

Sometimes I lie in bed and think about words (sometimes I think of other stuff as well). Happened just the other day. I was rummaging through my memories to come up with some of our favorite slang phrases during my adolescence in the early-to-mid-’70s.

I grew up in suburban New York, and having subsequently met folks in my age group from all around the States, it’s clear that we did not all share the same vernacular. 

When I first came to Florida after finishing college in upstate New York, I didn’t fit in too well with the social cliques in St. Pete. Some of it was a language barrier. I couldn’t stand to hear someone say “y’all,” let alone say it myself. “Y’all” was pretty common down here at the time; I don’t hear it as much anymore.

One word I brought down from up north was “pisser,” or, more accurately, “pissa.”

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1. New York prog rockers Coheed and Cambria (pictured; photo by Chapman Baehler) play a concert at Jannus Landing ronight; Russian Circles and the Secret Machines provide support.

2. See the country’s top 15 drum corps teams compete during Big, Loud & Live 5, a five-hour simulcast of the 2008 DCI World Championship Quarterfinals.

3. The Ritz Ybor hosts a new Thursday night series of “Remember, Recapture, Reinvent” arts events. Tonight, attendees enjoy live music and performance art.

4. At Tech Jam 2008 – a fundraiser to support Tampa Bay Technology Forum scholarships – guests enjoy live music by Sister Hazel’s Ken Block and Drew Copeland, food and drink, and a silent auction.

5. This afternoon, author Alexandra Everist signs copies of her new novel, A Katrina Moment, at the Oaks of Clearwater.

No doubt baseball can be dull. But Evan Longoria’s at-bat last night in the 7th inning against Cleveland was one of those moments that make the game worth watching.

He crushed two Rafael Betancourt pitches deep into the left field stands, just foul. Longoria’s body language oozed confidence at the plate. I’m thinking, “You should just walk him, pitcher.”

Betancourt didn’t, and the Rays third baseman jacked one far into the leftfield seats, a fair ball this time, homerun. That bomb broke the game open, and the Rays won 8-4, ending a five-game losing streak to the Indians.

As a rookie, Longoria appears to have already become the most popular Ray, not to mention the frontrunner for this year’s team MVP (as well as AL Rookie of the Year).

• Jonny Gomes got sent down to the minors yesterday, as he should’ve been. The right-handed power hitter was batting .182 with eight homeruns as a platoon player. He was shaky in the outfield as well.

Gomes said he hopes to get called back up to the majors, but welcomes the chance to play everyday for the Triple A Durham Bulls. Good attitude. He’s always been a team guy.

The Rays should call Gomes up if they sense another impending basebrawl. Did you see him early in the season when the fight broke out against the Red Sox? Gomes was bustin’ heads. No fear. Dude’s a bulldog.

• The Rays’ 2007 No. 1 draft pick (taken first overall), pitcher David Price, is playing Double-A ball in Montgomery, Ala. He has an improbable 10-0 record in 14 starts, with a 1.97 ERA.

They say you have to handle young pitchers with kid gloves, but Price was a superstar pitcher at Vanderbilt for three years and is almost 23. How do you not bring him up to the Big League team and give him a taste, see what he can do?

1. Brooker Creek Preserve Environmental Education Center presents Living Things We Love to Hate, a film that focuses on slugs, snakes, bats and other creepy creatures.

2. California-by-way-of-Cincinnati comedian Gary Owen brings his stand-up to the Tampa Improv for a single-night show.

3. On tonight’s episode of Project Runway, the designers must create a sports-themed outfit. See a preview here. 

4. Ophelia Project-Tampa Bay presents its third Conversations & Cocktails, part of a networking and social programming series.

5. The selection for this Wednesday’s St. Pete for Peace documentary screening is Toxic Sludge is Good For You. Narrated by Amy Goodman, the doc tracks the development of the public relations industry and reveals the amount of biased, PR-produced news and info that is fed to the general public via the media on a daily basis. The screening starts at 8:30 p.m. and is held at Café Bohemia in St. Petersburg; admission is free.

They’re sex on the half-shell. The classic aphrodisiac. Just the thought of those glistening gobs of mollusk muscle sliding down your throat is enough to send a shudder through Pfizer. But can oysters be too sexy?

Well, sure. Just like with humans, an oyster’s unhealthy fixation on its own naughty bits are sure to bring chafing, hairy palms and STDs. “Oh, that’s just a cold sore!” Sure, you pretty little huitre plate, you keep telling yourself that.

According to Reuters, oyster herpes actually kills the little guys — to the tune of 40-100% in most French cultivating beds this year — instead of merely making them social outcasts whose only goal is to spread the disease through lies and casual sex. Apparently, the cause is simple – when the weather is warm and there’s plenty of food, oysters spend all their available energy pumping up their sexual organs at the expense of their immune systems. Hard to blame ‘em.

Brilliant reporting Reuters, by the way. No mention at all whether infected oysters can transfer their seaborne herpes to people who down them with a nice Sancerre and capable mignonette. Nobody’d be interested in that, I imagine.

Recently, Todd English (celeb chef and owner of about 1 metric bazillion restaurants) called Peruvian cuisine “the next big thing.” Bon Appetit’s new food blog quickly weighed in, declaring it a trend that needs an ambassador, and pointing to Peruvian celeb chef Gaston Acurio as — possibly — the face that could launch a thousand tiraditos.

I hate to say I told you so, but Sarasota chef Darwin Santa Maria of oft-lauded Selva Grill made the same prediction about Peruvian food almost a year ago right here in CL’s blogs. Sarasota is home to no less than four decent Peruvian joints. Only question is: what about the Bay area? Know any great places to grab some ceviche, causa and sauces laced with glorious aji pepper?

(Thanks to Grub Street.)

So this much seems clear: Brett Favre won’t be playing for the Green Bay Packers this year.

Aside from that, the whole situation is more than a bit murky. The Buccaneers and Jets have been named in news reports as teams Favre might get traded to. And perhaps by the time you read this blog, a trade will have already been completed.

But for now, it’s all just talk. In a press conference this afternoon, Packers coach Mike McCarthy had this to say on his talks with Favre over the past two days:

We agreed to disagree. … The train has left the station, whatever analogy you want.

Apparently, not a single reporter could get clarification on the issue, as the report cited above quoted McCarthy as saying that Favre was not in the “proper mindset” to lead the team. I can only assume that means Favre’s feelings were sufficiently hurt that the Packers did not immediately welcome him back as their starting quarterback once he announced his desire to return to football, and that his appearance at the Packers’ training facility on Monday was little more than a formality in order to expedite a trade. Or perhaps it means that the Packers were not willing to give him his job back without competing for it against Aaron Rodgers, something Favre might not have been willing to do.

Regardless of who is being more intractable, it seems that Packers fans are on Brett’s side and holding the Packers’ brass accountable, if the comments on the Green Bay Press-Gazette are any indication.

That’s the question progressive District 55 voters should think about before they vote in their August 26 primary. Human rights activists uncovered a 2-year-old video of State Rep. Darryl Rouson on a local talk show and sent it out to media this week that shows the former NAACP president making some inane comments about same-sex adoptions and gays and lesbians in general.

From the video, which CL’s PoHo posted here):

“I think it is wrong to allow adoptions of children by gay and lesbian couples. It sends a wrong message early to a child during formative years that’s hard to overcome just by sitting down and talking to them. …”

“I think lesbianism and homosexuality is morally wrong. The law is supposed to discriminate sometimes, in some respects, it is supposed to discriminate against social order and anarchy.”

In a response to the video, Rouson told the Times he’s “evolved” since that 2006 taping of Florida This Week.

In an interview with me last month, I asked Rouson if any of his values had changed since he changed from a Republican to Democrat to run for the Florida State House seat 55. Here’s an excert:

Did you switch parties for political expediency or a change in your values?

My values have remained constant and consistent for the last 20 years. The ones who are most harping about the political party change are those who feel the most threatened by it. And that is my opponent. No one in the Democratic Party is angry or criticizing the 50,000 change in registrations that’s been occurring over the last several years. In fact, the Democrats are celebrating that, for the first time in 50 years, because of the influx of new registrations of Democrats, we now lead in party affiliation in this county. So, to me it’s a little disingenuous to try and attack me only on that.

In contrast to Rouson’s past comments, his primary opponent, the Rev. Charles McKenzie, has long advocated for gay and lesbian rights. In my interview with him in May, McKenzie did mention his position on human rights. He’s a longtime fixture in progressive circles and also sits on the board has been involved with the Florida ACLU, which supports same-sex adoptions.

So back to the main question: Do you think Rouson’s newfound tolerance is heartfelt, or just a political ploy?

1. Pick up a copy of Phish Walnut Creek, a new two-DVD set recorded live on July 22, 1997, during the band’s raging “cow funk” era. To see clips from the DVD, click here.

2. Gainesville’s Chris McCarty plays Skipper’s Smokehouse with Mark Gaignard.

3. Free Networking International hosts yet another of its cocktail networking hours, this one at The Venue in Clearwater and to benefit the Abilities Foundation.

4. Learn to whip up some tasty Thai dishes at this week’s Let Them Eat Cake Tuesday evening cooking class. 6:30-9:30 p.m., $50, 813-480-5466.

5. Catch 22 brings their ska-punk sound to State Theatre; The Suppervillains of Orlando provide support.

I went to the movies at Baywalk on Saturday night — saw The Dark Knight, but there’s been enough about that — and as a loyal, long-time resident of the ’burg, I must say I was embarrassed.

Muvico Baywalk 20 is going to seed. Worst of all, the hallways heading into the theaters stink — they reek like a giant bin of dirty sweat sox being washed in perm solution. The joint has smelled like dirty feet for awhile, and it gets worse every time I’m there.

I’m not an expert on this sort of thing, but perhaps management might want to hire a night crew to clean the carpets.

So far the stench has not wafted into the actual theaters — and the popcorn smell masks it in the lobby — but it’s only a matter of time.

I made my usual men’s room stop before the movie, and after washing (well, rinsing) my hands tried to get a slice of paper towel too dry them off. I hit up four of the dispensers. Nothing came out. Empty, all of them. I dried my hands on my pants, and went to tell the manager. I wasn’t mad, but I was a little sad.