Author Archive

The Proposal: Worth considering

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

By Matt Brunson

THE PROPOSAL
**1/2
DIRECTED BY Anne Fletcher
STARS Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds

After the stereotypical rom-com inanities of 27 Dresses, director Anne Fletcher partially redeems herself — as both an able filmmaker and a progressive woman — with her latest effort, The Proposal. Working with debuting screenwriter Pete Chiarelli, she’s managed to put out a picture that paints its heroine in one-dimensional strokes only part of the time.

True, The Proposal depicts protagonist Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) in the same manner as most Hollywood flicks (see New in Town for another recent example): Because she’s a career woman, she has no time for friends, lovers, hobbies or, apparently, even a rascally Rabbit (the battery-powered kind, that is). She’s a ruthless, soulless workaholic, and the only reason Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) works as her assistant at a New York publishing house is because he figures it’s a good career move. But when it looks as if Margaret will get shipped back to her Canadian homeland because of an expired visa, it appears as if his future will similarly get derailed. Margaret, though, has a plan: Force Andrew to marry her so that she can remain in the country. He reluctantly agrees, and they spend a long weekend in his Alaskan hometown so she can win over his parents (Mary Steenburgen and Craig T. Nelson) and 90-year-old grandmother (Betty White).

That these two will eventually fall for each other will come as a surprise to absolutely no one — not even your own 90-year-old grandmother — yet the predictability of the plot isn’t a detriment, since the film fits as comfortably around our expectations as a favorite old robe hugs our frame. And while the picture occasionally goes out of its way to make Bullock’s character a ninny, the actress refuses to let the role manhandle her, and she and the ever-charming Reynolds work well together. Furthermore, their characters’ relationship is rare in that it offers an older woman-younger man hookup that’s generally a nonentity in mainstream fare (Bullock’s 44 while Reynolds’ 32) and then goes the extra mile by never making their age difference a running, tittering gag at Margaret’s expense.

Unfortunately, Fletcher and Chiarelli can’t help but go for the easy, imbecilic laugh at several key junctures, and the film even stoops so low as to include one of those cringe-worthy moments in which a person declares his devotion to his beloved in front of a crowd of people — honestly, has this ever happened in real life, or do I simply hang out in the wrong coffeehouses/offices/parks/stores? Still, this Proposal has enough merit to warrant some consideration.

Puke in My Mouth, a response to Jizz in My Pants

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Ms. Taken, a company that makes fake diamond rings for ladies to wear to fend of puke-inducing men, has an official You Tube video. Here is their response to Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg’s SNL “Jizz in My Pants” song. It reminds me of an expression my friend and I used to use — “PIMM!” (which stands for Puke In My Mouth).

And here are the lyrics for your enjoyment:

Douchebags all across the club
Ladies’ night straight poppin’ the bub
Stalker eyes right above his drink
Cheese-dick style, with a shoot and wink
Snatch the ring from its hiding place
Flip the bird right in your face
Leave the bar, to escape your glance
Cross the room, now its time to dance
You sneak behind, don’t mind, I guess
Until your dance on my cocktail dress
Cold as ice, yet you advance
And say you might, jizz in your pants
and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH
Swallow it back, I need some room
Plus I said I’ve got a groom
I turn away, you start to pout
AND I PUKE IN MY MOUTH
You ruined my night, esophagus hurts,
Take a hint, I’m not here to flirt
Round up the girls, its time bounce
Now I’ll go brush my teeth

I’m 15 late for my Yoga class
Kick through the door, now I’m up in that ass
Find a spot, last in the room
Focus, breathe, now its time to ohhhhmmmm
Thats when I noticed this guy behind me
Quite a big smell from a guy so tiny
Pit-stained T-shirt drenched in sweat
O-face grin, bad as it gets
He made a grunt, then his body turned
Saw up his shorts to his inner-thigh perm
AND I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
Upside-down, so it’s even worse
Son of Shiva, what a curly curse
Help me please, I could use a towel cause I
PUKED IN MY MOUTH
Why are there dudes up in Yoga class?
Nonchalant, looking at my chest
Please stop staring when I’m on my knees
Plus bearded men shouldn’t wear capris
Last week, I was on a site
As I recall, it was a Facebook site
In my bed with a piece of toast
Checked my wall and saw your post and I
PUKE IN MY MOUTH
Soaking in the tub like a f***ing queen
Need to relax, need to feel the steam
A bubble comes up that reminds me of you and I
PUKE IN MY MOUTH
The next day, I put on jeans and PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I opened the fridge and a fruit rolled out, I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
When I saw Tom Cruise in Valkyrie I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I drank a Kombucha and I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I just felt PUKE IN MY MOUTH
I puke right in my mouth, every time you’re next to me
And when you spit your game, it’s like a train wreck to me
You’re such a royal douche, I don’t know why you step to me
Forget a rubber, you should go get a vasectomy
PUKE IN MY MOUTH…

What is this Lindsay Lohan garbage?

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

Is this supposed to make me WANT to buy Fornarina?

Here’s a note from The Superficial:

NOTE: For those of you unable to watch video, just imagine a talking skeleton surrounded by the shittiest 80s music and graphics you can think of. Then again, you’re probably light years ahead of what I just saw. You lucky bastards.

The Twitter Song

Friday, March 20th, 2009

This song is dedicated to our editor Carlton Hargro, who went Twitter crazy.

Cadbury eyebrow dance

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

I don’t know how this Cadbury ad sells chocolate, but it’s pretty entertaining. The girl is kinda freaky.

Eastwood drives sturdy Gran Torino

Friday, January 16th, 2009

By Matt Brunson

Clint Eastwood has stated that Gran Torino might mark his final appearance as an actor (he plans to keep directing), and if he sticks to his guns, it’s an appropriate way to end a magnificent career. In that respect, it brings to mind John Wayne’s swan song, the elegiac Western The Shootist (directed, incidentally, by Eastwood’s mentor Don Siegel), as both movies deal with aging men — and we’re talking about the actors as well as the characters they’re portraying — whose lifelong dalliances with violence finally lead to both an understanding and acceptance of sorts. Read the rest of this review here.

Watch the trailer here:

Detached Defiance focuses on WWII exploits

Friday, January 16th, 2009

By Matt Brunson

The landmark 1970s TV miniseries Holocaust and the 2002 theatrical release The Grey Zone both touched upon the topic, but Edward Zwick’s Defiance might be the first celluloid outing to focus exclusively on the efforts of Jews to violently oppose their Nazi oppressors during World War II. Certainly, it’s an overdue entry in the long history of Hollywood Holocaust flicks, but it’s a shame that such an intriguing story didn’t receive a more distinguished rendering. Read the rest of this review here.

Pass up a date with Last Chance Harvey

Friday, January 16th, 2009

By Matt Brunson

Last Chance Harvey is the sort of insipid romantic comedy that, had it starred a pair of 20-somethings or 30-somethings, would be instantly dismissed by one and all. But because it stars two seasoned performers — Oscar winners, both — it will be championed in some quarters as a sweet look at how older folks can actually — are you ready? — enjoy many of the same things as the young’uns. See them flirt! See them dance! See them fall in love! Truth be told, it’s all a bit insulting — a patronizing sop to an underserved movie demographic that doubtless was largely responsible for turning the equally torturous The Bucket List into a box office hit at this time last year. Read the rest of this review.

Tune out Bedtime Stories

Friday, January 16th, 2009

A winning formula for a successful family film gets reconfigured employing the lowest common denominator, and the result is a dismal effort that will fail with all but the most undemanding of children. As for their parents, it’s hard to imagine any of them warming up to a picture in which Adam Sandler, as lowly handyman Skeeter Bronson, bonds with his niece and nephew by telling them that he’ll always be around “like the stink on feet.” Read the rest of this review here.

Revolutionary Road: A path worth taking

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Revolutionary Road reunites Titanic stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, and they’re both exceptional in this adaptation of Richard Yates’ highly acclaimed novel. Whether the film itself will satisfy moviegoers expecting to see the pair again in the throes of starry-eyed passion is another matter altogether, since romance is kept at a minimum in this appropriately edgy drama. Sam Mendes, the Oscar-winning director of American Beauty, has made another American beauty, this one a powerful examination of a young couple trying desperately to deal with the plasticity of 1950s suburbia. One of the most somber of all the award-season titles, it’s nevertheless a must for discerning adults who don’t mind getting their hands dirty on messy emotions. Read the entire review