Comic Proportions

I was talking to a guy yesterday who doesn’t read my weekly comic book review column or this blog on a regular basis and he (let’s call him DUSTIN) remarked that I don’t really write negative reviews about the comics I read. And, although I do slam books regularly, his words got me to thinking that maybe I don’t write enough about the comics I actually don’t like. That said, here’s a list of comics I currently detest:

Milestone Forever No. 1: I liked a few of the titles published by this multicultural imprint of DC back in the day, but I was never a rabid fan. This book (pictured left) marks the return of the company’s characters, and it’s just awful. Elementary art from Mark Bright and an incredibly corny story line that works or fails based on your affection for the Milestone pantheon of heroes and villains. I have no affection for the folks, so the nostalgia doesn’t move me.

Justice Society of America and/or JSA All-Stars: The JSA worked well under the talented pen of Geoff Johns — but he’s gone and now the current creative teams just seem content to revel in lameness. Stale villains, bland action sequences, terrible dialogue and characterization that’s just wrong. I love the team and even I can’t read this shit anymore.

Booster Gold: Time travel comics suck. Why? Because nothing of consequence can actually happen due to the fact that you can’t change the past. Just bring Booster to the present, and make him a money-grubbing hero again.

The Hulk: Who is Red Hulk? Who gives a shit?! Jeph Loeb and Marvel have been stretching this story out for so long, whoever ends up being revealed as the man behind the red bad guy — even if it’s Jean Grey or something — won’t be worth the wait.

Deadpool: I can’t believe people read this. It’s the most inconsequential book on the stands — yet, it sells. Amazing.

Uncanny X-Men: Yeah, I’ve given up on this title. It’s just dull. How dull? Well one of the big sub-plots for the last few issues has been: How can the X-Men keep their island from sinking? The solution? Namor ended up building a pillar under it. Now, I’m no engineering genius, but how was this a big deal? The X-Men figure out ways to jump from one side of the universe and back every other month; they can’t figure out how to build a pillar?!

More to come …

Siege No. 2
Published by Marvel Comics. Written by Brian Michael Bendis. Pencils by Olivier Coipel. Inks by Mark Morales.

The Deal: Marvel unveils the second issue of its latest blockbuster limited series, featuring a whole bunch of Avengers, Asgardians, and big-time super villains.

The Verdict: I don’t care what anybody says … hate on Bendis all you want, but this is a great comic book. It’s a great Avengers story. As a matter of fact, years from now, folks will look at this as a classic Avengers story. It’s tight — no decompression here — fast-paced, action-packed, and filled with a lot of ultra-cool moments. Most writers don’t get a chance to put a cap on such a long-form story, but you gotta give it up to Bendis and Marvel for hanging in long enough to wrap things up. And here’s my last word on the book: If you only have $4 to spend on comics this week, buy Siege No. 2. There I said it.

For a review of the latest issue of Wonder Woman, check me out on the Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find blog.

Secret Warriors No. 12
Published by Marvel Comics. Written by Jonathan Hickman. Art by Stefano Casseli.

The Deal: It’s the newest issue of Marvel’s only (I think) espionage comic, starring Nick Fury … and a bunch of other folks.

The Verdict: Look, I really enjoy this series. I really dig spy-oriented shit. I do. But, honestly, I’m not really sure what’s going on in this comic. This issue makes some attempts to explain things, but the plot is still pretty convoluted. That said, Secret Wariors IS engrossing — so I’ll keep picking it up.

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.

The Walking Dead No. 69
Published by Image Comics. Written by Robert Kirkman. Art by Charlie Adlard.

The Deal: The latest issue of Image Comics’ beloved zombie comic. You should know the deal by now.

The Verdict: I’m still loving this series and it’s current direction. Judging from what happens in this issue, I think calmer things are in store for our cast of characters … and that’s a good thing. Kirkman understands that a horror book, like TWD, needs a few moments of peace to make the moments of pure gore, violence and mayhem even more gory, violent and, uh, mahemy(?). Buy it mofos!

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.

Orc Stain No. 1
Published by Image Comics. Written and illustrated by James Stokoe.

The Deal: It’s the first issue of writer/artist James Stokoe’s new fantasy series about a cunning orc (you know, those creatures from sword-and-sorcery-type works of fiction?) who’s better at stealing than fighting, trying to survive in a violent, blood-stained world. I think.

The Verdict: This comic works from the first page, which quickly dives right into the action (ala the first Lord of the Rings film). The lead character is interesting and morally complex; and the world Stokoe has built for the series is rich and expansive. On top of that, the art — although highly stylized — is amazing; detailed and cinematic … kind of like Geoff Darrow mixed with Ariel Schrag. I’ve been raving about Image lately … and here’s yet another reason to rave.

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.

Siege No. 1
Published by Marvel Comics. Written by Brian Michael Bendis. Penciled by Olivier Coipel. Inks by Mark Morales.

The Deal: Marvel rolls out its latest blockbuster event — one that promises to offer closure on seven years worth of Avengers stories … as well as comics like Civil War, Secret Invasion and more.

The Verdict: I guess the sign of a great comic is when you get to the last page and think: “I want more!” Well, that’s exactly how I felt when finished reading Siege. Entertaining story. Incredible art. Can’t wait to the second issue.

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.

Looks like the comic shop has tons of stuff on sale and lots of giveaways. Starts today and runs through next Tuesday. Check their site for all the details: HeroesOnline.com.

The Anchor No. 1
Published by Boom! Studios. Written by Phil Hester. Art by Brian Churilla.

The Deal: Introducing God’s weapon against demonic hordes — aka The Anchor (or Clem, as he is often called in the comic) — an inhuman “creature” who stands guard at the gate between Hell and Earth. I think that’s the general concept … at least that’s what I get from reading the book.

The Verdict: Here’s a great example of a comic with a great concept — but it’s executed poorly. What doesn’t work? Well, writer Phil Hester just doesn’t effectively build the “world” of The Anchor. We — the readers — are asked to accept a lot of bizarre concepts and characters way too soon into the story. The stuff here is interesting … it’s just rammed down our throats way too fast.

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.

Murderer No. 1
Published by Top Cow/Image Comics. Written Robert Kirkman. Pencils by Nelson Blake II. Inks by Sal Regla.

The Deal: Writer Robert Kirkman hooks up with artist/CEO Marc Silvestri and folks from the Top Cow side of Image to bring you the first salvo in the company’s latest “Pilot Season” program. This particular one-shot introduces readers to a new “hero” — called Murderer I guess — who is sort of forced to hear peoples’ evil thoughts … and can only block the voices from his mind by committing homicidal acts.

The Verdict: I like the concept of Murderer; it’s simple — and most great comic book ideas are fairly simple. The actual execution of the concept is pretty entertaining — a nice mix of action, tragedy, mystery, humor and heart. The art — by Sal Regla (a guy I’ve never heard of) — is nice; crisp and clean, yet detailed, and displaying a great command of facial expressions and emotion. I like it.

Reviewed materials provided by Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find: www.heroesonline.com.