Crib Notes

Today marks the third attempt of a New York judge to sentence Dwayne Michael Carter on a 2009 weapons charge. He’s expected to get a year, but will it happen this time?

All I’m sayin’ is that New Yorkers better take cover, because some crazy natural disaster is likely on the horizon. We’ll return with an update when (if) the sentencing is carried out.

UPDATE: Wayne was sentenced to one year today by Justice Charles Solomon of the New York State Supreme Court in Manhattan, according to the New York Times. He begins serving his sentence in Rikers Island today and will be eligible for early release in eight months if he maintains good behavior.

Watch Tony Yayo tell Wayne how to sneak drugs into prison (hint: take ’em beforehand!):
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Those warped minds at Adult Swim decided to give T-Pain free reign over his own project on Cartoon Network. I’d like to think the brainstorming for this program went something like this: T-Pain – common sense + AutoTune x pounds of that sticky icky x stereotypes (to the 3rd power) = “Freaknik: The Musical.”

“Teddy Pinned-her-ass-down” will star as the Ghost of Freaknik’s Past who is resurrected to bring the fun back to the A. The special, which co-stars Lil Wayne, Big Boi, Cee-Lo, Lil Jon, Bill Hader, Charlie Murphy, Andy Samberg and others, comes at a time where there are talks among city officials and residents about whether or not the event should return. Either way, the show airs during Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block this Sun., March 7 at 11:30 p.m.

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While participating in a press conference as a part of the “We Are the World” benefit song for Haiti, rapper Lil Wayne ended his Q&A session with a startling statement.

“I think its amazing what’s being done for Haiti,” a noticeably sober Wayne said as he got up to leave the press tent. “But I also think its amazing what hasn’t been done for New Orleans. Thank you.” (A random journalist is heard saying “good point” at the end of the clip.)

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First off, why isn’t it spelled Grammies? Why does it get to flaunt the rules of pluralization? But that’s only the most innocuous of problems with this dinosaur of the music industry. Or maybe the music industry’s the dinosaur. Did I just blow your mind, man? Either way, below is a play-by-play of the excruciatingly banal, the terrifically bizarre, and the pleasantly surprising moments of last night’s awards. Also, Georgia musicians that done done good.

The telecast opened in the gayest way possible (and I don’t mean that in a bad way), with weirdo-flavor-of-the-moment Lady Gaga sitting across a creepy hand-laden piano from onetime Atlanta resident Sir Elton John. After Gaga delivered a medley of some of her hits (what is the deal with the medley, Grammys?), she sat down with Elton and growled, “I wanna be a staaaaaar!” Then they played together. It was off-putting and a little scary. Anyway, they both looked crazy, and it was sort of enjoyable. At the least, it was the most fitting collaboration of the night.

As much as I like Stephen Colbert, his niche-y brand of comedy always fails to go over well in front of a large audience. Anyone remember the White House Correspondents’ Dinner? So it was on Grammy night, as he whipped out his brand new iPad in a weird new style of ironic product placement. Meh, meh, meh.

Sidenote: What’s up with the one Jonas Brother who looks like a hipster? Is he going to break off from the rest of the pack and go record his gritty solo album with Steve Albini? I hope so, and not.

Now it was time for the award for Song of the Year, which Beyonce won for “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It),” which was a big “duh.” If any of the others had taken it (Kings of Leon?) there would probably have been mass rioting. I guess the Great Kanye Debacle of 2009 has taught all awards shows that if Beyonce’s up for something, you’d better fucking give it to her, and how. Oh, but Beyonce was busy preparing for her big performance, and so the dudes who actually wrote the song — Atlantans Christopher “Tricky” Stewart and Terius “The Dream” Nash — went up to accept the award. I always forget that most of these folks don’t write their own songs. Music!

Green Day has a broadway musical coming out. Remember when they were a punk band? Yeah, me either.

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On a sad day, this vintage video of ATL television personality Too Clean talking to the Hot Boys should cheer everyone up. I recently saw the DVD from which it’s taken, Clean’s Down South Exclusive, Vol 1, and it is amazing.

Filmed in various Atlanta clubs and released in 2002, it features interviews culled from the late ’90s with people like Ludacris, Pastor Troy, YoungBloodZ, Nelly, Big Boi, Trina, 8Ball & MJG and many more. Highlights include a wild, rambunctious Mystikal, a delightful and relaxed Jermaine Dupri, and, of course, the above interview with a very young Wayne and a rather fey-looking Juvenile. (The concert footage is blurry, but does a good job capturing the energy of crunk shows.)

Through it all Too Clean himself emerges as the most charismatic of the bunch. He lobs nothing but softballs, but in the process gets nearly all of his subjects to reveal something interesting about themselves. (With the exception of C-Murder, who looks nervous and paranoid.) It mostly helps that everyone looks to be about five or six drinks in.

It’s available for purchase or on Netflix. Well worth it.

What’s Clean up to nowadays? Was there ever a Down South Exclusive, Vol 2? I’d love to know.

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1. Atlanta-based bands repped our city at Bonnaroo. (via Metromix)

2. So now we know how T-Pain wooed Taylor Swift into recording a duet. He showed her his BIG ASS CHAIN. (via Concrete Loop)

3. And we thought Usher was boo’d up for life. (via Billboard)

4. Last week Jared Swilley was dishing it out. But can he take it? He might have to after this cutesy film soundtrack drops featuring a song (”Bad Kids”) from the Black Lips. (via Paste)

5. Still beating yourself up for missing Weezy earlier this year? Well, Christmas comes early for you my friend. He’s back in Atlanta this summer with Young Jeezy, Soulja Boy and Drake. (via Billboard)

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All right, I admit it. I was wrong about Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. Since writing him off as a one-hit wonder and giving his latest album iSouljaBoyTellem two stars, I have played that thing more often then I’d like to admit. Especially the banger “Turn My Swag On” and his shockingly innocent/surprisingly tender ballad, “Kiss Me Thru The Phone.”

No, I don’t cry during the video when those old people start smooching each other remotely. Okay, maybe I do, but not that often. Okay, maybe often.

Both tracks are on Billboard’s top 40 right now — “Kiss Me” peaked at number three — and the songs are finding success on iTunes as well.

In defense of my rating — I’d give it 3, maybe even 4 stars if I had it to do over — I’m far from the only critic who has recently seen the light about Soulja Boy. In fact, suddenly SBT’E is turning into a bona fide critic’s darling.

“He writes unbelievably effective hooks, which he rattles off as if he were seeing them for the first time on a teleprompter,” gushed Village Voice writer Zach Baron recently. All of the sudden the word “genius” is being bandied around to describe someone whom critics had absolutely no patience for during “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”’s peak.

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For years, rumors persisted that Tupac Shakur wasn’t dead, he was just laying low in Cuba, chilling with his godmother Assata Shakur, perhaps. The circulating video footage of a 2pac look-a-like spotted at a Lil Wayne concert has fanned those flames.

Maybe dude is just trying to get a head start on the audition process that’s sure to round up thousands if and when the troubled Tupac biopic deal is ever struck.

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Seems like there was more action behind-the-scenes than onstage, despite the 20-plus performances at this year’s Grammy Awards.

Chris Brown reportedly got gangsta with his girlfriend Rihanna, causing them both to cancel their performances. The alleged reason behind the smackdown should bring a whole new meaning to their upcoming collabo, “Bad Girl,” produced by Atlantan Polow da Don for the Confessions of a Shopaholic soundtrack. Meanwhile the real “gangstas,” Lil Wayne and T.I., delivered upstanding, redemptive performances — neither of which required NARAS President Neil Portnow to excuse their inclusion in the program, the way he had to when Eminem performed to the chagrin of gay rights activists in 2001.

Of course, the Recording Academy continued this year with the ultra-lame generational mashup theme that made for some of the oddest pairings ever.

Surely, Stevie Wonder would’ve been insulted if only he could’ve seen how silly he looked on stage with the Jonas Brothers. The Al Green/Justin Timberlake pairing was quite a yawner, but perhaps we should be thankful that Timberlake didn’t attempt to rip Green’s shirt off for a grand finale. And did we really need to see B.B. King and John Mayer trade ugly guitar faces for the second year in a row?

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For today’s Roll Call, we call out Atlanta’s favorite black hipster, Wil May, who’s been hibernating in L.A.

Who are you?
I am Wil May aka Bill Whitfield aka Lil WiWi fa sho. My mom calls me WILLIAM. I am WILLIAM E. MAY by birth. Regal, I know. And, in college [Emory University] they used to call me POSTMODERN. So I am POSTMODERN. I am an artist/music producer/the orchestrator of the MAKESHIFT movement.

Describe yourself in three words.
Uber, Astute, MAKESHIFT

Whom — dead or alive — would most you like to meet?
As of now, Mr. Barack Obama. I wouldn’t want to just meet him. I wanna be homies with him.

Whom would you most like to slap in the face?
Billy O’Reilly (make sure you put Billy). He just says dumb, insensitive, incendiary shit to me.

What song do you wish you had written?
I can’t just say one song. Debussy’s “Clair De Lune,” Pink Floyd’s “Time,” OutKast’s “Elevators” and T.I.’s “What You Know.”

Lil Wayne or Little Richard?
Weezy F. Baby. Say what you will about Weezy but Lil Wayne’s work ethic is amazing. Peep the skit on his new mixtape Dedication 3 called “You Love Me You Hate Me.” He explains his work ethic in a hilarious way. Plus, Kanye, TIP, and Wayne are basically giving ppl evidence that the music industry still exists in a major way. And, now WEEZY is expressing that he wants to start pushing the boundaries of his craft. Hopefully he’s serious. So Weezy F. Baby over Little Richard. Plus, I was never a fan of Little Richard’s perm. I feel what he was doing back then in the beginning of rock ‘n’ roll and all, but now, nahh.

LP, CD or MP3?
The MP3 is liberating by nature. So the MP3. Only high quality ones though … 320kbps. The LP is cool, but for cultural reasons. CD’s are just annoying at this point.

If you could start one trend, what would it be?
I feel like I have. I was wearing Topsiders, colorful ones too, way before they got popular again, back in my early URBAN W.A.S.P.in’ days.

I would like to start a trend to seriously use and continually improve alternative, green and cheap energy to the masses.

If you could end one trend, what would it be?
I’m not easily annoyed by things, trends or ppl. Trends are trends because they comment on something profound or seemingly profound. Ppl don’t like trends because they become clichés, and “errbody got ‘em.” But clichés are clichés only because at some point they were profound or interesting or cool … to a lot of ppl.

But one trend I would definitely end is 360 artist deals. It’s unethical.

With whom would you most like to play a game of spin the bottle?
I think I played enough of that in high school during those summer nights on Lake Michigan, but still, who’s not down for a game of good, old-fashioned spin the bottle. So I would say Janelle Monae is with whom I’d play.

Download “Sweet Confusion” MP3

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How do you prepare to walk the red carpet at hip-hop’s biggest media event of the year?

“I just drunk a few Budweisers,” said Attitude (above), a rapper/songwriter who’s penned songs for Nelly Furtado, Timbaland and Keri Hilson. The Birmingham native and Atlanta resident was one of hundreds ranging from big-name to no-name artists who fed sound bites and swaggerlicious poses to the zoo of photographers, bloggers, journalists and video crews for three hours before the show.

Some, like newcomer Jay Rock, sounded outright clueless. “I ain’t really even know I was gonna be here, man, it’s crazy,” said the Watts, Calif., native, whose single “All My Life” features Lil Wayne, the night’s three-time winner. “Like, all I did was got dressed, threw my clothes on, and they were like, ‘Man, you finna go to the BET Awards.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s what’s up.’”

T.I., on the other hand, spoke with sober appreciation to be in the right place one year after making a detour that earned him federal gun charges and a year-long jail sentence that he begins serving next year. “It feels like a long road traveled, and it feels like a lotta hard work paying off. And now we came through it bigger, better, stronger. Period.” When asked what after-party he planned to attend, T.I. responded, “I’m working, no time for that.”

Forget the over-hyped performances (though the old-school medley featuring Salt N Pepa, MC Lyte, Yo-Yo and Lady of Rage was the night’s best) and over-the-big top fashions (how many top hats does show host fill-in T-Pain own, anyhow?); the BET Hip Hop Awards — like all celebrity-driven media events — is all about being seen and heard, pushing your agenda and promoting your next drop date.

So if you want to see who won what, tune into BET at 8 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 23 and labor through the two hour show. But if you want to see the stuff that’s too bootleg for TV, check out our list below:

BEST BIGGIE BLOOPER: The biggest blooper of the night came when Jamal “Gravy” Woolard — who plays deceased rapper Notorious B.I.G. in the biopic due to hit theaters January ‘09 — slipped and called Notorious “hip-hop’s first biological feature” instead of first biographical feature. They shot a retake.

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Atlanta’s industry-heavy scene meets its left-of-center hip-hop movement Wednesday at Uptown for the pre-BET Awards celebration for nominee, Bangladesh.

The producer put pure alkaline in rapper Lil Wayne’s battery pack this summer with the #1 hit “A Milli.” It’s only part of the reason why we bestowed him with Best local beatmaker honors in CL’s recent 2008 Best of Atlanta issue.

The other reason — his ability to play both sides of the fence and collaborate with emerging, electro-pop tarts like Muffy, who’s scheduled to perform at the party.

The dress code says it all: “Be electric.”

Free. 10 p.m.-3 a.m. Wed., Oct. 15. Uptown Lounge, 201 Courtland St. 404-524-3151. www.uptownrestaurantandlounge.com.

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It looked like a Hype Williams’ video set.

“Some of y’all ain’t put on a suit since [my] last court date. So I really do appreciate you going through the trouble.”

With those words of thanks, T.I. kicked off his red carpeted, black-tie birthday celebration at Atlanta’s Biltmore Saturday night. It doubled as an album release party for Paper Trail — perhaps the year’s most anticipated album second to Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III. The invite-only guest list overflowed with Atlanta’s industry elite — all of whom put their own unique spin on the required black-tie wardrobe.

Kenny Burns (see photos) sported a shimmery gold Dolce & Gabbana blazer. “Project Runway” finalist Mychael Knight (see photos) posed with a client wearing his own custom designed dress. Former “America’s Top Model” contestant Toccara showed up in jeans and a black wifebeater.

At times, the scene turned surreal — imagine Amadeus meets American Gangster.

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Ok, so if I remember correctly, in the late ’90s the biggest stars in America were an armada of Nordic Supersoldiers. Acts like 98°, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, ‘N Sync, Backstreet Boys and Christina Aguilera dominated the charts with their vacuous “teen” ballads.

Pop music was a future Stepford Wife proto-High School Musical prom afterparty. All the girls were sassy and all the boys had six packs. Then, 9/11 happened.

Americans suddenly thought (and quite reasonably) that we were finally the underdogs. The prosperity of the ’90s began to fade, setting a new precedent. In short, things got complicated.

Everyone still wanted to party, but pain was back. Sept. 11 gave us pain for months (years). As we got further away from that day, record companies needed to manufacture gravitas where there wasn’t any. I solemnly believe that besides the talent of artists like T.I., 50 Cent, Bruce Springsteen, Kanye West, Eminem and Arcade Fire, their greatest asset is their constant triumph over adversity.

Triumph is why superhero movie franchises have been so successful recently. A nerdy frail wimp transforms into a web-slinging smart ass who gets with Kirsten Dunst and saves all of New York City (Ground Zero, ding!). A corporate war profiteer escapes from a terrorist (Al Quaeda ding!) camp and defeats his own greed as well as the powerful traitors in his circle (the White House maybe?). We love to see people over come. Remember that song “We Shall Overcome?” That was a really big hit.

“I Put On”

Kanye West’s production catapulted Jay-Z into solidified classic status all while remaining in virtual anonymity. Next thing you know, he falls asleep at the wheel and gets in a nearly fatal car accident. Instead of wallowing in self pity he, 3H and Damon Dash turned his misfortune into the ultimate backstory for a man who was perhaps neither Gangster nor conscious enough to be understood by record execs. Starting with “Through the Wire,” Kanye built an entire career with two key foci: decadence and perpetual underdoggery. He’s made pop rap songs about vague everyday trials and tribulations (“All Falls Down”) and continuously assails his doubters to this day (“Can’t tell me Nothing”). Even though, no one really doubts him anymore, it is completely necessary for him to continue this fight against the now imaginary naysayer (remember that MTV Awards bullshit).

The most compelling development in Kanye’s trajectory is the tragic death of his mother. She was a victim of the mindless vanity and decadence embodied in many of his songs. I ponder how her death provided real life meaning to the vague conflicts in songs like “Stronger.” (more…)

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