No one likes a sober rocker: Why AA will kill your career faster than dying
Monday, June 2nd, 2008I have an idea, a hypothesis that needs to be tested if possible.
First, however, let me take you back to high school math class to explain my theory. I am proposing that music quality and sobriety are inversely related. Let’s make an equation (ripping off ideas much?), shall we?
If y = awesome quotient of music and x = level of sobriety, then y = -m(x) + c
It’s all coming back, isn’t it? All those painfully long math classes in rooms that were never quite the right temperature, and one of your classmates (never could be sure which one) smelled totally nasty. But there was nothing you could do because you were stuck in class until the bell (truly the saving grace of high school) released you from your too cold/too hot, smells-to-high-heaven torture room. Or maybe you liked math.
Anyway, the theory I’m throwing around essentially says that the more a musical artist abstains from drugs and alcohol, the worse the music is. Of course, there are exceptions, but on the whole, musicians are better when they are wasted and left for gone at rock bottom — tortured.
A lot of artists (the shitty ones) will claim that drugs and alcohol make them more creative by expanding their minds. Not true. To those of you that make such claims, get sober for a week, look at the giant turds you’re churning out and get back to me.
EDITOR’S NOTE: In light of this week’s CL cover story on Atlanta blues man Sean Costello, 1979-2008, we want to acknowledge the ill-timing and insensitivity of this post, which was written in a humorous light. The author, Cameron Hubbard, had no prior knowledge of the upcoming cover story. We apologize for offending anyone.
