Culture Surfing

BIG BROTHER, BIG SISTER: Chloe reboots CTU

When Tony’s bad, he’s very very bad.

Stand idly by your FBI vehicle, and he’ll put a bullet in your face. Rub him the wrong way, and he’ll suffocate you with a motel shower curtain. Question his motives and he’ll get, well, moody. (Cara, upon seeing Galvez’s lifeless body: “I’ll assume that was necessary.” Tony: “Don’t start with me. I’m not in the mood.” Me-ow!) All cattiness aside, Tony stepped further into that deep, dark place this week, and seemingly closer to the mental point of no return. As viewers, we’d be remiss to continue hoping for his redemption. Even if he did snap out of his Tony the Terrorist phase, there’d be no one left to vouch for him. Once you kill the head of FBI, burn the President, and lie to Jack, whooo boy are you a goner.

With Tony so committed to the Dark Side, I doubt he’ll make it past season seven. The action’s snowballing toward a big finish now that we’re down to the last four episodes and I think it’s likely that Tony will be taken out of the picture. For good this time, soul patch and all.

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 20, 3-4 a.m.” »

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CIRCLE OF TRUST: Tony is out

After Tony aided and abetted in Larry’s death last week, internet folks buzzed with conversation about whether or not Larry deserved a silent, pre-commercial clock tick. Short answer: No. Now, let me elaborate: Heeeellllll no. Just because Larry was “technically” one of the good guys, doesn’t mean he deserves special treatment. In fact, it’s my opinion that Larry really did more harm than good, giving Jack the runaround, using way more cliches than should be permissible in any kind of cop drama, and providing dead-weight sexual tension in his relationship with Renee. Goodbye Larry, we hardly knew ye.

On to bigger and better things. Last night, secret agents gassed Hodges’ lawyer, snuck into the White House and offered the crazy-eyed patriot the red pill, Matrix style. After helping Galvez escape with the bio-weapon, Tony shoots himself in the side and proceeds with a weak story about an ambush and how it all happened so quickly and he’s pretty sure Larry saved his life. I expected more from the former CTU agent-gone-bad-gone-good-gone-bad-again. Jack, as doped up on bio-fumes as he is, smells a rat immediately when he notices inconsistencies in the bullet casings. Meanwhile, Tony skulks around the FBI’s observation camp making not-so-subtle phone calls to Galvez. He feeds him intel and instructs the recruit to rig an abandoned building with C4, lure the FBI in and then blow the thing. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 19, 2-3 a.m.” »

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“Battlestar Galactica” fans should spool up the FTL drive and prepare for a major jump when they visit “Caprica,” the prequel series released today on DVD from “BSG” co-creators Ronald D. Moore and David Eick. Based on the pilot movie, “Caprica” offers a dramatically different take on the “Galactica” mythos that’s literally and figuratively away from the grim space opera that recently aired its series finale on the Sci Fi channel.

“Caprica” takes place more than 50 years before the events of “Battlestar Galactica,” when the robotic Cylons destroyed the population of the 12 human colonies, including the planet Caprica, and sent the survivors on a quest to discover Earth. The new show nods to the continuity of the future series with familiar phrases like “By your command” and “So say we all.” Future Admiral Adama has a small supporting role as an 11-year-old boy. The main link between “Caprica” and “Battlestar Galactica” will be tracing the rise of the Cylons from mechanical underclass to murderous rebels. While the pilot shows the coinage of the term “Cylon,” the “toasters” prove to be only a subplot.

Continue reading “‘Caprica’ provides intriguing ‘Battlestar’ backstory” »

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LIGHTS OUT: 'Friday Night Lights' wrapped season three last week.

1. The Televangelist: ‘Friday Night Lights’ season three finale (Eric and Tami say goodbye Panthers, hello East Dillon High.)

2. The Lazy Reader’s Guide to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Dropping one spot from last week, Wyatt Williams’ post about Brit lit’s new undead has taken on, uh, a life of its own.)

3. The Televangelist: ‘Lost’ episode 13 (Normally we’d scold you, saying all this TV you’re watching will rot your brain, but “Lost” is one hell of a mind game, especially when characters are seeing past versions of their fathers holding infant thems.)

4. Big burlesque weekend! (Y’all love some “hip-swiveling, tassle-twirling action.”)

5. Amazon.com ‘pinklisting’ includes Atlanta authors (Does Amazon hate gays? Not likely, as it seems some sort of internal glitch was responsible for the Easter weekend hullabaloo.)

(Photo courtesy NBC)

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TONY, TONY, TONY: Here we go again…

Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa.

This episode was almost too much to handle. In a good way. Explosions, subterfuge, family reunions … almost all of my favorite parts of ‘24′ were in full effect last night. The midnight-1 a.m. hour ticked to a close last week as President Taylor frantically called off the air strike on Starkwood. Hodges revealed he’d armed 13 python missiles with the bio-weapon and already had three of them pointing at American cities, ready to launch should the government try to interfere with Starkwood. He forced the President into a face-to-face meeting where, this week, he promptly proceeds to try and blackmail her for “a seat at the table.” In short, he wants Starkwood to become the fifth branch of the military with input and influence on the country’s foreign and domestic strategies. Like any terrorist worth his salt, Hodges has typed up his whole plan and had it professionally bound and laminated. High marks for both presentation and lunacy.

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 18, 1-2 a.m.” »

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GOODBYE PANTHERS: Hello East Dillon High

“Tomorrow Blues” began five months from where we left off last week, with the Dillon Panthers losing the state championship thanks to JD’s family crisis and his subsequent meltdown. Though the episode opened with a montage of carefree spring moments — lounging by the pool, the crack of baseball bats, taking in an afternoon movie — there’s trouble a-brewin’ in Dillon. Coach Taylor’s contract is up for renewal (already?), and Joe McCoy is looking to make a power play that involves taking over the team and placing his main lackey, Wade Aikman, as head coach.

To be fair, Eric’s tenure at Dillon High has always existed on the brink. It took a full season to get the town’s support, and he continued to struggle against Buddy and Boosters for the remainder of his time. It’s of little wonder then that he hesitated to make a strong play to keep his job, showing up at the board meeting simply to state the facts, “I love this team, I love my job, and I’m good at it.” In the end, it wasn’t enough, but a final shot of Eric and Tami standing together among the ruins of the East Dillon High football field gave the hope that Coach Taylor can start fresh and really prove himself with a new team.

Had this been the final season of “Friday Night Lights,” as was originally rumored, I can’t help but feel the ending would have been mostly satisfactory. There was enough closure (Lyla and Tyra going to the colleges of their dreams) yet enough left open (the Taylor’s future in Dillon, Tim and Matt both considering not going to college) to go either way. As much as I believed this should have been “FNL’s” swan song, the possibilities of another season focusing on the fight between the evil Joe McCoy and the good Coach Taylor as cross-town rivals is both  promising and downright exciting.

Continue reading “The Televangelist: ‘Friday Night Lights’ season three finale” »

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WEAPONS? What weapons? Oh, those weapons…

This week’s episode opened with a downtrodden Jack perched on the side of the interstate next to a hijacked semi robbed of its very precious cargo. Jack curtailed the bio-weapon threat the previous hour by plugging a leak and exposing himself to the chemical only seconds before Starkwood swooped in and airlifted the WMDs straight out of the 18-wheeler.

CDC meds arrive on the scene this week in full-on body suits and command Jack to get undressed, which he does right there in the middle of the road. No one holds up a sheet or anything (I’m not complaining…), but our view was strategically obscured by some indefinable blur in the foreground. Foliage? The back of someone’s head? Stray woodland creature? At any rate, we finally know that Jack’s definitely a boxers guy.

Jack gets hosed down, tested and quarantined. Meanwhile, Hodges and his boys are trying to “convince” Tony to reveal what the FBI knows with the help of their fists and a chain-link fence. Hodges tries to play the Michelle card, telling Tony he’s familiar with his file. (It’s apparently crazy easy to get your hands on people’s files. Who hasn’t read everyone’s file at this point?) Greg Seton interrupts to tell Hodges they should destroy “the evidence” i.e., the bio-weapons. Hodges disagrees strongly and leaves in a huff, barking to Tony, “Think about what I said young man!”

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 16, 11 p.m.-midnight” »

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FILL 'ER UP: This mug ain't for coffee.

We left off last week down one U.S. senator, one paid assassin, and a whole lotta Jack’s cred. This week, Larry Moss was on site at Sen. Mayer’s house, “investigating” the politico’s murder and playing effortlessly into the bad guys’ hands. Moss truly is this season’s answer to the blindly bureaucratic impediment to progress (formerly held by such brown-nosers as  Miles Papazian (Stephen Spinella) in previous seasons). Jack brings Tony up to speed on evildoers and bio-weapons and whatnot via cell, while Moss unleashes the sass on Chief of Staff Ethan Kanin, telling him he advised against allowing Jack to interrogate Burnett a second time. Ethan takes a second, takes a seat and takes his resignation to President Taylor. As Ethan justifies his resignation to the president, he explains his complicity in Bauer’s alleged killing spree. The president responds with, “It doesn’t make any sense!”

Hello??!!! Anyone listening? At least one of season seven’s one-dimensional characters was drawn with a slightly thicker Sharpie. Does this mean that they call off the hounds? Not so much.

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 15, 10-11 p.m.” »

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NO YOU LISTEN: I will not rest until I totally f%#! this up.

Last week, Jack and Bill thwarted Juma’s presidential assassination attempt at the expense of Bill’s life. Bill was one of CTU’s last remaining vestiges, not to mention a salt-and-pepper sexpot of older man-ness. Bill’s final words sent Jack to former Bauer tourturee Ryan Burnett’s hospital room to intimidate some information out of him, where he was was promptly murdered by a third party, leaving Jack conveniently framed for the killing. Jack gave lead FBI schmuck Larry Moss a call to let him know he didn’t do it, but of course, Larry doesn’t buy it. So it goes with schmucks.

This week opened with Jack on the run. He hot-wires a car, commandeers the owner’s laptop, and hacks into the hospital’s security system to identify the attacker. Hey — he’s Jack Bauer. It’s what he does. Renee, who Moss has suspended for colluding with “wild card” JB, gets a call from you know who to ID the killer. Renee pauses dramatically before agreeing to do so and sends Jack the encrypted file. Larry returns as the transfer is completing, pats Renee on the head and sends her home. Larry barks to Janis that he suspects Renee, and pulls the old “tap into her system, find who she’s talked to in the last hour,” etc.

Meanwhile, Mr. Chloe O’Brian (Morris) is waiting in the conference room to find out about his wife, who’s been in holding the past couple of hours/episodes; Olivia’s at the President’s right hand in the Oval office when Chief of Staff Ethan Kanin comes in to fill in Madame P. about Burnett’s death; and Jack’s on his way to Sen. Mayer’s house to follow a lead about hospital assassin John Quinn’s relationship to Starkwood, a defense contractor the senator’s been investigating for the past six months.

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 14, 9-10 p.m.” »

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