Daily Loaf

Here’s the deal. I know a LOT of men who would agree that most women should be virtually hairless, and I for one, would have to agree with them.

I also know a LOT of women who feel that men should start sharing in this joyous activity.

Imagine you are with a woman for the first time. Things are going splendidly. Maybe you get a little bold and decide to pull a naked ass-grab… only to find something that resembles the Furbie you owned back in ‘92. Hair is not something ANY woman wants to find on a man’s cute tushy. Now don’t go thinking you’re safe just because you have a fuzz-free peach… those of you experiencing any slight indication that you haven’t fully evolved by having a hairy back… you’re guilty too.

We women go to great lengths to make sure we resemble a nicely groomed 3^rd grade girl. For some reason you have managed to convince us over the years that any kind of hair growth is a bad thing. Which is fine, I am not one for promoting female armpit/leg or *cough* va-jay-jay *cough* hair. In fact, I spend a lot of time removing it.

Do you have any idea how bad it hurts when you accidentally cut your vagina? Now this is a personal choice. Yes, I choose to be hasty in my shaving rituals as I think any female who takes longer than 15 minutes to shower is just a selfish whore, and yes, this tends to result in an unpleasant cut or two.

Men, all I am asking for here is a LITTLE bit of concern for your own unorthodox body growth. We don’t ask you to wax your eyebrows (like I had to last night. It hurts very much bad). We wouldn’t dare ask you to cover up those sand bags under your eyes with a little concealer, and God forbid we ask you to dress better than someone who just crawled out of a Peruvian dumpster.

No, no, no.

All we ask is that you remove any indication that you are not quite pulling in 1^st on the evolutionary chain. PLEASE, SHAVE/WAX YOUR NASTY BACK AND ASS.

If not, I vow we start a new movement of ’70s-style women.

You’re going to need machetes, boys. Thanks and have a lovely, lovely fuzz-free day!

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