Daily Loaf

 Woo

(noun):  The art of causing a women to fall slowly in love with you.

See: courting, romance or affection.

I don’t know when it happened … maybe the great depression burned everyone out, or maybe the burning of the bras made men rethink the ways of their forefathers. But somewhere along the way ladies, we lost a dear friend, Woo.

When did dinner become “drinks”? When did going “dutch” become standard? When did flowers  become funeral and wedding fodder only?

I’ll openly admit that I am not an emotional girl in most situations. There are very few things in my real life that evoke tears … but occasionally, on a night when I find myself alone with my DVR chock full o’ pitiful movies, I’ll turn on a shameful, sad, “chick flick”.

This is when my freakish emotions decide creep out … in the form of nature’s saline. Cameron Diaz crying over Jude Law on vacation suddenly becomes a veritable baby funeral for normal people. Anne Hathaway portraying Jane Austen (ok seriously, she dies alone, try to hold back, assholes), definite tears. Drew Barrymore never being kissed, puffy next day my boyfriend dumped me eyes fo’ sho’.

I am fully aware of how pathetic this is … most times I even end up laughing at myself. At one point I was on vacation in Toronto and on a rainy day my friend and I watched, “A Walk to Remember.” Yes, Mandy fucking Moore made us both cry like little babies. We looked at each other and started laughing hysterically with tears running down our cheeks. Sadly Mandy Moore will forever be tied to one of my favorite memories of my best friend.

So it brings to question: when did the art of romance portrayed in all these amazingly (horrible) romantic movies… die?

Did it never exist in the first place? It had to; I know that I still have to catch my breath when a guy holds the door for me … I thought all the door holders had died off.

Ok so mayyyybe it has something to do with the fact that I tend to like jobless boys in their 8th year of college who sleep on a couch in their mother’s house. But the general consensus among my lady friends has been that the art of romance–what makes us “ooo and aww” at movies–is long gone.

So maybe stop making movies like that, Ok Hollywood? Maybe make movies where the guy has lofty goals (one being trying to score on the 1st or 2nd date), a bad haircut and a job delivering pizza. That way we all won’t be disappointed by reality … hell, we might even be impressed when you open the door of your 2002 Ford Focus for us.

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