Daily Loaf

British doctors have developed what is being hailed as “Spray-on Viagra.” Unfortunately for all those men eager to turn their one-eyed sailors into Popeyes, the excitement may be premature.

PSD502, which sounds like a ballistic missile, enables men who suffer from premature ejaculation to last up to six times longer. From the reports, the product does nothing for men with erectile dysfunction or a lack of sex drive. In other words, you won’t see any infomercials advertizing “Hard-on in a Can.” Rather, PSD502 seems to work like a numbing agent, desensitizing trigger happy cocks.

The product was tested on 300 European men, 200 of which used the real thing while 100 used a placebo. The men who used PSD502 claimed they had more command over their stick shifts. The subjects were asked to apply the ointment five minutes before sex, and then to time their sex with a stopwatch. According to dailymail.com, “intercourse increased from an average of 0.6 minutes to 3.8 minutes in the medicated group.”

First of all, a five minute activation time is too long. I only have two to three minute windows in which my girlfriend is willing to start having sex. During these gaps, any false move can ruin the delicate reentry procedure. Missteps can be anything from stopping the action to dust my tropical forest with a foreign agent, or removing a stopwatch from the nightstand and waiting until we are officially saddled up to click it.

Ever since the need to satisfy sexual partners has become a concern, men have invented “organic” ways to deal with premature ejaculation. Who can forget the age old trick of loading an entire box of condoms on your totem pole? Try having your lady friend punch you in the nose when you’re approaching your sexual tipping point. If that turns you on too much, consider having your partner criticize the size of your trouser pistol-that one always works for me.

Check out the report about Spray-on Viagra at Dailymail.com

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