The lady that married the Eiffel Tower, and others with fetishes for inanimate objects (Video)
June 23, 2009 at 8:00 am by Rabid Nick Refer
As you may have noticed summer is officially rolling into town this week, though it’s been hotter than lava in a toaster here in Tampa for a few weeks now. And since The Rabid One is doing quite well for himself: I splurged and purchased a hammock for my “pleasure zone” in the backyard. It’s amazing, comfy, relaxing- the perfect summer accessory. And I love it. Like, LOVE it. But, my friends, I do not intend to marry it.
Not the way this woman has married the Eiffel Tower. Seriously.
Readers, I offer to you Objectum-sexuality, as defined by the gods of Wikipedia as “a pronounced sexual and/or emotional desire towards particular inanimate objects.” According to a BBC documentary on the subject, there are at least 48 known cases in the world with people who consider this a sexual preference. In the video below, you will get to meet Erika Eiffel. Yes, Eiffel, as in, she married the famous French landmark. Okay, it was a harmless ceremony (obviously marrying inanimate objects isn’t quite legal). Somewhere I am sure Pat Robertson is happy about that.
Mrs. Eiffel also has a thing for the Golden Gate Bridge and the Berlin Wall. Many of these landmark lovers have a main lover, Mrs. Eiffel’s husband for instance, and multiple other lovers on the side. Objectum-Sexualists obviously swing towards polygamy. In fact, Erika Eiffel shares the Berlin Wall with Eija-Riita Eklöf Berliner-Mauer, who actually coined the term “objectum-sexual” and started the movement after falling for the German Landmark.
Mrs. Eiffel’s “relationship” with the Wall is a complicated one (ha!) as she tries to come to grips with the pain and anguish said wall created throughout history. Talk about baggage.
I really, really want to crack jokes, I do. This all does seem a bit loony to me. But the Rabid One is no judge and therefore I will attempt to be nice. To each their own. As long as they are not hurting anyone. Needless to say, I will be careful who I let into my hammock.
What do the Sex and Love readers of Creative Loafing think of this?
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