Daily Loaf

Although Burger King’s new Super Seven Incher is only available in Singapore, and let’s pray that the misshapen patty doused in A-1 Sauce never makes it here, the company is taking heat for its new ad poster promoting the girthy sandwich.

Copyranter called it “most overtly blow-jobby ad I’ve ever seen.” Since when does a shaft of buns and beef aimed at the sensuously pouty lips of a young blond lady elicit thoughts of fellatio? Oh, maybe the ad copy has something to do with it:

It’ll Blow Your Mind Away. Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick and Hearty Steak Sauce.

That suggestive saucing is enough to put me off mayo for, uh, at least a week. I’m not against using overt sexuality to sell food — good eats are profoundly sensual. But I do have a problem with the porn influences these ad guys are referencing.

Like so much of the degradation porn out there these days, this ad depicts a woman who is amazed, stunned and a little frightened by the sheer size of the “sandwich”. It’s the same deer in the headlights look shown on innumerable giant cock/little blonde porn series out there. And, like those, you get the feeling that she’ll soon get over her fear and succumb to the power of her dinner’s immense size. (Some advice for the little lady in the ad: Stay in this biz and soon enough you’ll find yourself doing gonzo double penetration with some of Hardee’s Thickburgers.)

Damn, that’s a commentary on both porn and fast food obesity factories.

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