Death of a penis: the story of your incredibly shrinking manhood
August 5, 2009 at 11:48 am by Shawn Alff
If you’re a proud penis owner, you may not want to read this. A recent article by David Freeman of webmd, laid out the skinny on what happens to a penis with age. Here’s a hint: it doesn’t double in size or develop superhuman strength.
With age, most penises, and their owners, suffer from a decline in testosterone. This means more stimuli is required for arousal, it takes longer to get an erection, it’s harder to reach climax, and it takes more time to become aroused after sex. These effects are compounded by a loss of sensitivity, which transforms the member from the emotional and easily excited penis you once adored, to an unfeeling, useless lump.
The effects of reduced testosterone reach beyond the penis. The volume and quantity of sperm drops sharply. Also, the distinguished crown of pubic hair surrounding the penis grays and falls out, which may explain why long, gray strands always find their way onto the rim of public urinals.
In men’s 60s and 70s, the penis shrinks in every way imaginable, most noticeably in its standing stature. Losing half to a full inch in length is common. One of the main reasons for this is impaired blood flow, which also accounts for the reduction in the dignified purplish color of the penis’s battle helmet. A buildup of scar tissues reduces an erection’s elasticity, and size, and in some cases may cause the shaft to curve (i.e. Peyronie’s disease). In solidarity with their leader, the testicles also shrink. Unfortunately, this downsizing is often enhanced by weight gain in the lower abdomen, which in extreme cases buries the penis in fat.
This news may not sit well with most penis owners who, like me, envision their golden years on par with Hugh Hefner’s–our penises constantly surrounded by naked 19 year-old twins who genuinely love us for our money and fame. In all likelihood, most of us will spend our retirement with partners who have lumpy, wrinkly bodies that mirror our own, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Having a reduced sex life at 70 shouldn’t be considered a dysfunction. If my current testosterone levels kept up through old age, I’d undoubtedly become a creepy old man whose lustful stares at women in supermarkets would take on a much more demented connotation. I almost look forward to the days when I can sit down at the computer to work and actually type instead of being distracted by internet porn, or going to lunch with a woman friend and actually listening to her instead of daydreaming about what panties she’s wearing. A study of 2,213 men who experienced declines in their penis performance, confirmed this point, as most didn’t report a decline in sexual satisfaction.
Read more terrifying facts about your penis at Webmd.com
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