Daily Loaf

Goodbye Holly, Bridget and Kendra…hello Crystal, Karissa, and Kristina. The Girls Next Door revamp premiered last night and showcased the new and unimproved lifestyle of Mr. Hugh Hefner and his new girlfriends. Crystal (the new Holly) is 23 — which is a just a small, 60-year age difference with Hef, but of course everyone acts like it’s completely normal that an 83-year-old man sleeps with three barely-legal blondes. Crystal, although seemingly very sweet, really takes a back seat in this new show. The real stars are rowdy and wild twins from Clearwater, Karissa and Kristina.

These 20-year-old twins are a little insane. They consider themselves one person, and apparently, so does everyone else. They eat the same things, dress in the same clothes, and sleep in the same rotating round bed. This all sounds completely creepy and way crossing the lines of being just twins to me, but I suppose to each their own. I mean if you’re gonna be the twin girlfriends of Hugh Hefner you might as well pretend to be the same person ’cause he probably won’t know the difference anyway.

Of course, we all remember our favorite ex-Girl Next Door Holly Madison, and she had to make an appearance in the first episode to remind us of the better days when we could tell the difference between Hef’s girlfriends. They all went to the wax museum in Las Vegas and hung out with creepy, much-younger wax Hef, who suggested things like “Maybe you want to slip into something more comfortable,” or “I think I found our new centerfold.” When they were done they went back, got naked and ran around the Palm Casino Hotel Hugh Hefner Sky Villa, because it is every girlfriend’s right to run around the Sky Villa in the least amount of clothes possible.

Just goes to show you that you can take the big-boobed blondes away from Hef, but you can take the Hef away from the big-boobed blondes.

Have fun Hef — better live it up while you can!

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