Daily Loaf

Swingers are very superficial people.  This statement will probably have some swingers coming out swinging, but in all honesty you are shopping for a sex partner based on looks.  Attractiveness is very important to swingers.  If you’re average looking you might label yourself as ‘NOT Ken and Barbie’ in your online profile, but this doesn’t mean you want someone who looks like a monster. Looks win out.  Attractive people attract other good looking people.  This doesn’t mean that only the attractive find love, but the good looking garner more glances and gawks; thus potentially leading to meeting more mates.

Getting the attention of other people based on beauty isn’t limited to just sex and love. Some are able to get ahead in the job market, professional sports, and of course blogging purely because they are attractive. Science seems to agree with this. According to Science in Society, good looking people are more likely to win sporting events. Science News states that physical attraction also impacts income positively. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m still amazed when I hear about someone getting married because of faith and not love.  That fact that people are still marrying out of necessity to their religion is astonishing. Take Alex for instance.  I don’t personally know Alex, but he is a friend of a friend.  Recently his story reminded me how some people still hide who they are in order to be accepted by church or family.  Alex is gay, yet he lives the life of a straight man to his friends, family, church, and even his fiance. Read the rest of this entry »

I first introduced my friend Julia in Sugar daddy wanted:  part 1, as a beautiful, 30-something with long black hair, large breasts, and a thin frame–-a woman who should never have a problem finding a date, yet she does.

Julia decided to try her luck on seekingarrangment.com, and quickly began sending and receiving messages.  The emails mainly consisted of questions such as, what are your interests and what are you looking for?  Some men wanted to know about kinky things like anal sex or S&M. Others said they were interested in friendship.  Still others were more concerned with what kind of arrangement Julia wanted. Some questions were quite extreme, but not harmful, while others made her click the delete button as fast as possible.  Luckily Juila found a few profiles that caught her attention. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has a secret.  Some may be juicy while others may be plain Jane, but simply put, everyone has something that no one else knows.

If you are reading my blogs you know a few of my secrets.   I blog mainly about my open marriage, my body, and my sex life. This isn’t really a secret to you, but the general population (i.e. most people close to me have no clue I do this).  It’s a big secret to me and I absolutely love having it. Read the rest of this entry »

Internet dating has fast become a popular way to meet people. There are sites for every type of relationship: singles, couples, swingers, cheaters, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and friends. However, the universe of the internet continues to expand, delving into ever more specific niches. Here are some samples of the hyper specific dating sites I’ve come across.

My favorite site so far is Cougarlife.  I’m not quite a cougar (I’m 37), but I do fancy a younger 20-something man, and would be happy to join this site!

For those who have a very particular fetish, you may find a potential partner in Extreme Restraints Dating, where members are encouraged to explore their hidden fantasies.  I poked around this site (its free!) and discovered there are some real hotties with fetishes I’ve never even imagined! Read the rest of this entry »

All swingers have their own rules. Rules are what make swinging doable (pun intended).  Soccer Dad and I have gone somewhat past the basic swinger lifestyle and have dabbled a bit in an open marriage.  You might wonder how this is different.  We are having sex with others, isn’t that open?  It’s actually not.  Typically swingers share their experiences together.  That might mean sharing one bed with another couple and swapping, or having drinks and dinner with a couple and then following up with sex in the same room.  Sometimes couples, myself included, venture to separate rooms for sex. So, where do solo events fit into these scenarios? Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Stalkers:

Since I started writing this blog, I‘ve come to accept that some of you out there in internet-land aren’t entirely normal.  You seem to think that because I write about my sexual encounters with new acquaintances at swingers parties that I will be wooed by your sexual requests via Facebook as a kind of gratitude for friending me or reading my blogs.  While relentless persistence may be a virtue in ebay bid wars, or role playing games, it does little to impress women online. My silence in response to your creepy requests is not because my computer crashed, or your message did not go through. My lack of a response doesn’t mean I am waiting for you to ask me ten more times to send me single sentences messages, requesting nude photos of me. Even when I directly say NO, still you persevere. If only you applied the same kind of will power to self improvement, you wouldn’t have to stalk people online to simulate real life sexual encounters. Read the rest of this entry »

Former Tampa resident Tom Kelly details his journey into the swinger world as a single male in Would you like to sleep with my wife. Kelly’s adventure begins after leaving an unhappy relationship with a  fanatic girlfriend in attempt to quell his desire to be constantly surrounded by naked women.  This ultimately leads him to a management position at a nudist resort frequented by swingers. Kelly finds himself both admiring the natural beauty of women and discovering a new lease on a taboo lifestyle.  Guests find Kelly’s helpful nature and outgoing personality to be more of a sign of suggestive behavior than typical customer service. This leads him to receive propositions of sex and the opportunity of new sexual exploration. Read the rest of this entry »

I am what many may call a protection queen.  If you want to put your man parts into my girl parts you better be covered.  It’s a very simple rule–no sex without a condom.  There are many reasons I feel this way – I don’t want an STD, I don’t want to get pregnant, and I like my vagina as it is:  pretty, smooth, and pink.

Not all swingers live by this rule. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been in a few bedrooms over the years and I’m always amazed by the sounds that come out of overly excited sex partners, either with me or in the bed next to me.  Everyone responds differently to sex, orgasm, and excitement, but  how much of that noise is genuine and how much is put on for show?

I am not an overly noisy person during sex.  I don’t really talk loudly about the dirty deeds I want you to do to me.  You could say I am more of a sexual whisperer.  If you were having sex with me you might experience my hot breath in your ear, whispering whatever comes to mind in my sexiest voice.  Although, sometimes I find myself being  just silly in bed and clowning around during sex.  Unfortunately this might be at your expense — sorry.  But, if you’re lucky enough to hear me raise my voice a bit, grind out a few words in a deep tone, you are probably hurting me, and well, at the moment it might be a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »

I guess you could call Soccer Dad and I seasoned swingers, as we’ve been involved in the lifestyle for more than eight years. But, even with this vast amount of experience I still don’t always know what swingers are looking for. Online swinger profiles offer some insight into understanding what swingers want, as well as illuminate some of the confusion involved in trying to make connections within the swinging scene. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had many emails asking how to successfully approach other swingers.  The answer isn’t the same for everyone.  Approaching a stranger for sex is awkward at best, let alone  incredibly intimidating.  What if they say no?  What if they don’t like you?  How do you know if they like you? Read the rest of this entry »

Living the swinger lifestyle offers the opportunity of having sex with many different strangers.  I don’t really know all of the people I have sex with, but normally I have talked and spent some time with them before engaging in any sexual play.  But, even with this excitement I still fantasize about riskier sex scenarios.

In the dressing room/closet: I have always wanted to have sex in a department store dressing room or a random storage closet with a total stranger.  The thought of meeting a beautiful stranger and having erotic sex after locking eyes gets me hot and bothered.  This must be a fantasy many of you have too. Read the rest of this entry »

As I float around my pool today, naked of course, I fantasize about things I’d like to do naked.  Some of these things may be risky and others just goofy, but all fun.

Besides jumping in the pool naked, I’ve walked around a private club naked, attended a swingers party naked, and I’ve actually danced on a stripper pole a time or two naked. But I still fantasize about a few other things i could do in my birthday suit. Read the rest of this entry »

As I was driving to work Monday, Fisher and Boy from the 97X morning show played a creepy voicemail from a dude attempting to get a date.  The bit was about a woman who was approached by a  guy who asked her out. She wasn’t interested and was only able to get rid of him by giving him her business card.  Probably a dumb move, but I sympathize. The guy called her two times leaving two very long, creepy messages.  Some men just can’t imagine why any female wouldn’t want to date or sleep with them. This made me consider all the creepy ways men have tried to weasel their way into my life, or at least my vagina. Read the rest of this entry »

Who has sex with strangers?  I think the answer is most of you. Whether you are a swinger, single person, or a perpetual cheater, it’s likely you’ve had sex with someone you consider a stranger.  So why do so many people think the swinging lifestyle is so strange — we too have sex with strangers, but at least we’re honest about it. Read the rest of this entry »

Women have it easy.  They can get laid nearly effortlessly. Men on the other hand aren’t quite so lucky.  Even the male half of a swinging couple must put forth the effort to catch the eye of a pretty lady or the hot soccer mom at a party.  Vanillas (non swingers) may think that being a swinger at a swinger party pretty much guarantees sex, but the truth is it doesn’t.

The rule of thumb for both swinger men and vanilla men (I apologize if you  feel plain) is, keep your mind open and your hands to yourself.  This may seem contradictory to some, but if you’re open to talking just a little and not groping her soccer ball shaped ass, you’ll succeed more times than not.  Trust me. I’m a woman and I know these things.

Don’t talk yourself out of sex.  Read the rest of this entry »

I love to masturbate! Everyone masturbates, well, except for weirdos, old people, and those who haven’t tried it.  I’ll admit that I was in my late 20s before I discovered the beauty of self pleasure.  Since then I turned into a closet masturbator.  No, this doesn’t mean that I pretend that I don’t; it simply means I masturbate in the closet.   This may seem rather strange to you, but it makes perfect sense to me.  I get home a bit earlier than expected and the house is empty, but for how long is unknown.  I need some me time and I don’t want to get caught.  Thus, closet masturbation is born. Read the rest of this entry »

Soccer Dad and I are off to another swingers party this weekend filled with couples we know and many we don’t.  So how do we know a swinger’s party will be worth the trip and the price of admission if we have no idea if there will be anyone there we want to fuck? We don’t.

Vanilla couples may never completely understand swinging.  The lifestyle is based on looks, confidence, and sexual prowess.  You can be a perfectly nice person, and even attractive, but that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you just because I arrive at a swinger’s party with a choker that reads, “I love cock.”  Swinger parties or clubs are similar to regular bars on Saturday nights: They’re meat markets, except for married folks. Read the rest of this entry »

Swingers aren’t as easy to spot as you may think. You may even be a swinger without realizing it. To eliminate any confusion, I’ve compiled a top ten list of reasons you might want to change your Facebook status from “married” to “swinger.”

You might be a swinger if: Read the rest of this entry »

On several occasions I’ve been asked how many sex partners I’ve had. Having lived as a swinger for several years, I’ve probably had more than most, but the exact number is tricky. It depends on what you count as a sex partner. For me, I can only define what one is, by describing what a sex partner is not.

Oral sex only: Some swingers have rules, like soft swap only.  This means I only have oral sex with the other man then have actual sex with my husband. For me, oral sex doesn’t count as sex. Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s get one thing straight.  Every woman should be treated like a princess. Women need to be handled with care and respect. Speak to them honestly and avoid trying to be something you are not; we see right through that. Here are some simple pointers for men who are a bit lost when it comes to women–especially those men who don’t realize they’re lost.

The guys who don’t talk about their dicks, chicks, sexual achievements, or money are the ones who have it, do it, and can use it. Read the rest of this entry »

When jealousy rears its ugly head during sex, nothing good will come of it.  People enter the swinging lifestyle for different reasons.  Unfortunately some believe swinging will save their marriage.  Such a desperate move usually only promotes jealousy–a surefire relationship killer. Read the rest of this entry »

I just noticed that I have a bruise on my breast.  Does this mean the sex was really good or really bad? That all depends on what you like in bed. For me, my weekend sex, bruises and all, was pretty damn good.

Soccer Dad and I walked into the second bar of the night on our ‘date’ with a hot younger couple.

“You don’t have to liquor me up,” I said to my potential sex partner. “I’m a sure thing,”

Everyone laughed, but the fact remained that we were there to get comfortable with each other before having sex with virtual strangers. This is the basis of the swinging lifestyle after all. Read the rest of this entry »

It occurred to me recently that fuck buddies are high maintenance.  A fuck buddy can be someone you sleep with on occasion with no attachment, or it could be a couple you and your partner swap with now and again. I’ve met a few people who seem to fuck others purely for the psychological boost – they need to feel better about themselves. These are high maintenance fuck buddies. Read the rest of this entry »

The “Get Leid Party” Saturday night by Florida’s Finest Couples, was one to remember. I walked into a room full of grass skirts, bikini tops, and Hawaiian shirts. Brian, the website’s owner, was a spirited good looking guy who kept trying to announce my presence on one of the karaoke mic. I guess that means I’m finally a superstar! I declined his offers, worried that no one would want to fuck me knowing I’d critique our sex the next day. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve schooled you in what constitutes an affair. I’ve listed the rules of having an affair and where to look for a discrete hook-up.  Now I’ll tell you how to save money in your search for that NSA(no strings attached) fuck.

Ashleymadison is a website revered for finding discrete hook-ups. Currently the site is running a promotion that puts a spin on the government program, Cash for Clunkers. Their promotion, Cash for Chunkers, saying, “is being married to a chunker weighing you down?” Read the rest of this entry »

Is your vagina cleanly shaved? Do you regularly go for the Brazilian wax? Maybe you trim your pubic hair regularly or let it grow wild like a little ecosystem around your penis. Whether you’re male or female, you must be aware of the pubic hair issue.

Porn stars and swingers aren’t the only people who need to manicure their privates. It still surprises me each time I go out on a swinging date and see the female with a Chia Pet of a vagina, or the male with so much hair you have to dig through it to find his cock.  Please tell me, is pubic hair really still popular or are these people just oblivious? Read the rest of this entry »

Not every marriage is open to multiple sexual partners like mine, but the overwhelming desire to fuck someone other than your spouse is as common as arguments over whose turn it is to take out the trash. The difference between cheaters and those stuck in 10+ year marriages with infrequent sex and constant nagging, is that cheaters act on these desires. The problem is that cheating doesn’t come natural for most of us. So, if you aren’t the stud fucking the office hottie in the bathroom, or the femme fatale hooking up with random douche bags you flash peace sign at on the highway, here are a few guidelines for dabbling in the dark art of extramarital affairs. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m a frequent reader of secret blog sites.  I love knowing what other people are hiding, the secrets dieing to be told, and professing my own secrets from time to time.  I came across a particular secret, or maybe better described as a desire on a site called cavecanum.  The author suggested that there should be a symbol for finding someone willing to engage in oral sex with a stranger, kind of like the handkerchief code for gay men. The writer of secret #80903 says Read the rest of this entry »

Vaginas are a beautiful thing. They’re soft, wet, warm, and inviting, and yet they come in as many models as there are cars on the road. Some even have a vagina preference. While many men like an outward protruding labia, others get off on vaginas totally concealed by the outer lips.

I was at a swingers party once where all the girls were standing around in their panties.  Most were wearing thongs or frilly panties, but one wore large cotton underwear.  I playfully teased her, asking, “Why are you wearing granny panties?”

“I’m an outie,” she said. “I have to protect my precious parts.”

(pic below the jump NSFW)

Read the rest of this entry »

I was thinking the other day about my breasts, wondering if they are too big?  I started my adult life as a common 34B.   After a few years in the swinging lifestyle, I started to envy women with larger breasts. They looked fabulous in low cut tops and even better naked. This began my search for the perfect breasts, at least for me. Read the rest of this entry »

Since many of you have expressed interest in how to jump into the swinger lifestyle, I’ve put together a few reviews of swinger websites that I’m a member of.

Florida’s Finest Couples is dedicated to lifestyle parties throughout Florida. This site is open to couples and single females who are at least 21 years of age. Members will receive discounts at swinger clubs and adult toy stores, and they will be on the list for invite only parties and special events. Read the rest of this entry »

The word swinger sounds dirty all by itself. For many, this lifestyle conjures stereotypes of swingers engaging in all types of uninhibited behaviors. Many of the assumptions non-swingers have about the lifestyle are true, to an extent, but it’s important to realize that every swinger is different, and we each decide what uninhibited behaviors we are comfortable with.

Swinging is often associated with over indulgence in alcohol or drugs; most people can’t understand how you could get naked and have sex in front of, and with, a room full of strangers, without being wasted on some substance. Personally I don’t partake in drug use or excessive drinking, but I’ve had swinging encounters with a few who do.  Read the rest of this entry »

Swingers are often stereotyped as having lascivious affairs, but depending on what you consider cheating, almost everyone is having some type of affair.

For me, an affair isn’t necessarily a physical relationship; it can be an emotional connection as well.  Depending on who you are, either connection can constitute an affair.

By this definition I have both emotional and physical affairs.  I’m not in love with these people; some are friends that I share a side of myself with that I don’t share with everyone. Others I just have sex with and don’t care if I ever see again. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been on many swinger dates, good and bad. For me a good date involves drinks, conversation, laughter, and hot sex. But, how do you have a successful swinger’s date every time? Read the rest of this entry »

At work, driving home, or alone at my computer–I need sex! I’m a 30 something swinger who must find creative ways to deal with her constant urges. I’ve heard stories of coworkers ducking away to the bathroom in pairs or having sex on their office desk after hours. Masturbating in the bathroom and sex at work aren’t something I’m into, but if that’s your thing, my only advice is don’t get caught. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve met enough penises in my time to know that like lollipops, dicks come in all shapes and sizes. The fact is that most dicks are between five to seven inches erect; the real question is, does size matter? Read the rest of this entry »

Body modification is done for a variety of reasons: art, decoration, enhancement, change, and sometimes necessity. I’m a fan of all types of body art, piercing, and plastic surgery, but any modification can be over done.

(Pics below NSFW) Read the rest of this entry »

I didn’t start my marriage as a swinger. I was married for more than a decade before we first couple swapped. Read the rest of this entry »

Ever since I hit my sexual peak around 30, I have been on a continuous hormonal roller coaster full of sexual peaks and valleys. The onset of my swinger life began on one of those highs. Read the rest of this entry »

Parties aren’t like they used to be. This weekend my husband and I attended a party with a mixed crowd: swingers (me and soccer dad), voyeurs (one couple), and non-swingers (everyone else). We’ve seen the voyeur couple a few times at local swinger clubs and actually know them from our vanilla life. They like dressing and behaving borderline inappropriate, but never actually have sex with others. They claim they’re swingers but I think they just like the attention.

No one else at the party is aware of our lifestyle. Read the rest of this entry »

I know I am not a tech guru and I am the basic of most girls when it comes to technology, but sometimes technological things will peak my interest. Let preface this by saying I have been out and about in many sexual situations. I have seen women bring personal vibrators with them to clubs to add to their pleasure and I have seen men holding remote control vibrators that are nicely tucked into their partners’ panties.
Read the rest of this entry »

How many swingers are there in the Tampa Bay area? Do you work, go to school, or work out at the gym with a swinger? Truth is, everyone probably does. I have encountered many people at swinger clubs that I have known from other parts of my life, my “vanilla” life. Sometimes these encounters are uncomfortable, but mostly the moment ends with a laugh and a smile.

Encounter #1
It’s Friday night and we are walking into a local swinger club. A line of people has formed to pay the cover charge. Each time the door opens everyone steals a glance at the next couple who walk in the door. We are up to pay and the door opens again. To our surprise, in walks Biff and Belinda. Both worked recently with Soccer Dad and upon recognition the two look like a pair of deer caught in the headlights. Moments later the two tear out the door with less than a hello. We are all here for the same reason – we saw you, you saw us, why run?
Read the rest of this entry »

The night starts out great. We are out for an evening of good friends, good cheer, a little laughter – and hot sex. The club we frequent is hopping with people. Women dressed in stretchy neon dresses, nighties, mini skirts, or low rider jeans (me) swarm around the bar. The music is the usual techno stuff that you would hear at any club, the air is filled with smoke, and the lighting is dim. I joke with my husband that the combination of alcohol, smoke, and dim lights makes everyone look hot! We squeeze our way to the bar and pay for the alcohol that we brought with us (typical bottle club).

After a few drinks I am the social butterfly, swirling between couples while my husband stands and talks to some friends we have met before. Swinging is like a game: Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t totally agree with the notion that most swingers are in the lifestyle primarily for friendship; maybe “friends with benefits” is a better description. Being a swinger is about sex, and if the friendship part follows its all the better. According to dictionary.com, the term swinger is defined as:

1. a person who indulges in promiscuous sex
2. a person who engages in the exchanging of spouses for sexual activities

How do relationships work when you are swinging and friends? Sometimes this type of relationship is great, and other times it can be quite awkward. I have several friends who are swinger – some I have had sex with, and some I have not. The difficulty comes when sex has occurred and it wasn’t any good or the attraction no longer exists.
Read the rest of this entry »

Here are some commonly used terms in the swinger culture, as defined by our resident swinging correspondent, Rebecca (a.k.a.: Soccer Mom):

Unicorn: Single female. This person will always be in great demand and rarely seen.

Bisexual: A male or female who enjoys being with someone of the same sex. This will include oral sex, mutual masturbation, sex with hands, toys, penetration etc. Females are widely accepted, but unfortunately males still face some stigma with this label.

Socially bisexual: Male or female who will interact in a sexual manner with the opposite sex while in public, but does not practice bisexuality as a lifestyle. I don’t totally understand the purpose of this term, but would appreciate feedback.
Read the rest of this entry »

It’s a simple progression: strangers, friends, sex partners. We went out the other night to meet a new couple (the Smiths) whom we met on a swingers dating website. The selection process on this type of website is similar to other online regular dating services. Couples or singles complete a profile, provide pictures, and commence browsing.

After exchanging a few emails, we set a date. So Friday night we meet at a local restaurant. As on most of our swinger dates, small talk turns to stories, which inevitably gets the energy flowing. Most the stories told are of bad experiences; like the time we met a couple at a local restaurant and the woman shows up in leopard print spandex pants and stripper shoes, that just screams out “We are SWINGERS!” We are at a family restaurant people - not a bar; let’s try to keep the attire normal, please. Anyway, small talk lightens the mood and helps the conversation move with virtual strangers and potential sex partners. Entertainment aside, the decision has been made to go to a local bar for a few drinks. Drinks tend to further loosen everyone up a bit and soon the conversations turn to flirting, kissing and borderline inappropriate behavior in public.
Read the rest of this entry »

I am just your average, quintessential soccer mom for the most part. I drive my kids to school, go to football games and band concerts, and work in a normal professional office environment. The difference between me and most other “typical” moms: I am a swinger.

What exactly does that mean? My husband and I partner swap, we trade spouses, we sleep with strangers. No one would guess that we live this type of lifestyle. Neither my husband nor I behave, dress, or appear any different than average people.

Tampa Bay is the home to an abundance of swingers. The lifestyle has been an underground community for many years. Recently, news stories have been broadcast regarding swingers causing some water cooler talk, but each instance seems to fade away as fast as the discussion arrived. The recent shut down of a few private clubs around the area have changed the dynamics of meeting other swingers.
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