Top Chef News: Hallelujah! Top Chef Masters returns this Spring
I don’t know about the rest of you, but my Wednesday nights have been pretty dull ever since the end of the last season of Top Chef. I miss making fun of critiquing and learning from the program that has brought me so much culinary joy these past few years. Fortunately, we’ll be getting our Top Chef fix back with the new season of Top Chef Masters when it returns to Bravo on April 7th!
The chef’testants have not yet been announced, but it is reported that resident NYC food show host/stick figure, Kelly Choi, will be returning as host, joined again by last season’s TCM judges: former Elvis concubine and infamous restaurant critic Gael Greene, food critic and “Mole Man” Jay Rayner, and Saveur editor James Oseland (I haven’t come up with a snarky nickname for him yet). Gail Simmons, whose fantastic boobs personality we all know and love from Top Chef, will be joining the judges’ table for this season as well.
Simmons is also set to host the upcoming TC spinoff, Top Chef: Just Desserts, which is currently in development.
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Just because the latest season of 
Bonus: We compare Richard Blais to Chris Daughtry and Adam Lambert, and if Michael redeemed his egotistical ways in my eyes. Listen to the podcast to find out!
Bonus: I say “screw the CIA” (the culinary school, not the government agency), Jeff’s “America’s Sweetheart Beard” t-shirt design, Kevin’s ninja skills, and Top Chef “debriefing”.
Robin is undoubtedly a talented chef, very passionate about her craft, and she definitely stayed true to herself throughout the competition.
For this week’s preview, we get a sneak peek of the 
There’s also a lot of Robin-hating in the episode by about half of the cast (even by Mr. Nice Guy, Kevin, himself!).
The finale of 
show is over doesn’t mean our podcast is – we’ll be back for at least a few more episodes with some surprise Top Chef guests! So tune in next week to see who we’ll be chatting it up with about 
Well, 
can’t surmise what was going on in his head; my best guess: “I want to beat Michael or take him down with me.”
of the cheftestants will be joining us fans on Twitter to chat during the show. (We’ve been having Top Chef Tweet Parties for weeks, I’m glad to see they’ve finally jumped on the bandwagon to join in on the fun.)
After their 3 month hiatus, the final four Top Chef contestants and judges arrived in Napa, complete with their (not-so) fabulous makeovers. It seems Ceveech (Jen) used her Macy’s gift card and got herself a fancy perm, Redbeard (Kevin) now looks like Friar Tuck with his long beard and shiny bald patch, and Padma was rocking some awkward-looking bangs.
For their elimination challenge, the chefs were given the task of cooking two different dishes – one vegetarian, and one featuring a local protein – for 150 hoity-toity Napa residents’ “crush party”. All of the chefs made some very unique dishes and it was even hard for me to say who I thought would go home. Personally, it was nice to Angry Bro get ragged on for his egg dish – having had the dish with the most negative critiques by the judges. I was hoping/fantasizing that’d he’d get the boot, but alas, it was Ceveech’s time to go.
Well, 
It looks like they’ll be cooking on a train tonight for their Quickfire Challenge, their key ingredient being…grapes! (Who called it? Moi.) From the video below, it looks like the chefs need to get their sea, um, train legs or else someone is bound to spill something or possibly cut off an appendage. Still in the gambling spirit from Vegas, I’m betting on either happening. Who knows – maybe Kevin will accidentally set fire to that already flaming beard of his on the wood fire stove or Mike will slip with a scalding hot pot of liquid in his hands, dumping it all over himself. Ah, wishful thinking. Hey, Fabio cut himself pretty badly last season and it made for some good dramatic editing by the producers. I’m not a sadist, I’m just hoping for some sort of action or drama in these final two episodes because goodness knows the show needs it.
This week’s episode of 
The cheftestants had to become culinary Olympians for their Elimination Challenge, as they were to perform in a Bocuse d’Or style challenge. To put it in layman’s terms: They had to cook a kickass dish with extremely intricate “garnishes” in only a few hours for some of the biggest names in the culinary world- Thomas Keller (the giant pictured at right), Daniel Boulud, Jerome Bocuse, and Gavin Kaysen, among other renowned names in food.
On this week’s episode of 
learned that Keller would be gracing them with his presence. Surprisingly enough, Ceveech looks a heck of a lot better this week – she even laughs! Should we credit Valium or is she smokin’ the good stuff?
At the beginning of this episode, we were pleasantly surprised to find 
For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants each had a different hotel on the Las Vegas Strip to draw inspiration from for their dishes. It seems they all interpreted this challenge differently: some taking it literally with elements that were supposed to remind one of the particular hotel, while others took it more figuratively by pretty much just making whatever they felt like. For example: I don’t understand how Redbeard’s dish said “The Mirage”: was it the hidden spice underneath the salmon? And the fact that HotBro used the aquarium from his hotel (which had nothing to do with the ocean) to model his dish just perplexed me. Are there not rules to this sort of challenge? I guess not because those who took the challenge literally ended up on the bottom this week.
As most of you have seen from last week’s preview and from the 
Sadly, there will be no new 
Be sure to check out the clip (below) where he interviews the biggest jerks (and least favorite contestants) from seasons 1 through 4: Tiffany, Marcel (still sporting the 
For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs were let loose in Tom’s restaurant, Craftsteak, where they go apeshit over all of the choice proteins they think they’re going to use. Then their guest judge is introduced: Natalie Portman! And guess what? She’s a vegetarian! (Didn’t we see this in Top Chef Masters?) The cheftestants’ faces then immediately took on the “oh shit” look and they all turned white.
More fashion foibles this season: Padma’s tube top/pant suit atrocity, Ceveech’s tube top dress and open-toe ankle boots ensemble a la Pretty Woman, and Gail Simmons’ green prom dress circa Dynasty ‘86.
As we saw in 
Like me, most of you 
At the beginning of the Restaurant Wars challenge, I really believe it was up in the air as to who would take the win. Though by service time, we had a much better idea of who would be on the chopping block. The red team, though led by a cruel tyrant, Mike V., bickering like school children, took their heated passion and directed it into their food – coming out on top and taking the win. Success stemmed from the leaders this episode and Ceveech’s stressing out (again) really took a toll on her team. Everyone on the blue team were just too nice and agreeable, leaving no one really in charge and a line of dishes that were ill-prepared.
Drama! Action! Blindfolds! (Sounds kinky.) I know we’re going to see at least two of those in tonight’s episode of 
Much to our surprise (hint of sarcasm), Redbeard won with a pork dish again, and Ash ended up getting the boot. (Top Chef Rule #3: Don’t tell the judges that you didn’t cook the dish that you had originally intended to.) It was good that they put Ash out of his misery, though - after learning that he could no longer clean Picasso’s paintbrushes, he felt that the Top Chef life just wasn’t worth living.
As we’ve been discussing the last few weeks in the 
For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs had to create a dish using the three description words that the Cookstr slot machine gave them. What is “stressed” food, by the way? ‘Stress food’, as in, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s? Or maybe a lobster that was just dropped into a boiling cauldron of water. I digress. Ultimately, we learned that passing off a Middle Eastern dish with Indian curry to Padma just doesn’t fly, Jersey Mike really knows his Asian food- note the sarcasm, and Ceveech sure loves her scallops (maybe we’ll start calling her ‘Top Scallop’ from now on).
For their Elimination Challenge, the chefs had to deconstruct a classic dish but keep the same flavors of the original dish. The judges table was very- how shall I put this – bitchy this week. The claws were out with Padma and Michelle and it was no-holds-barred with the critiques to the chefs on the bottom of the barrel this week. It was also great to see Michelle put Toby Young in his place concerning the pronunciation of “paella” (and the city of “Barthelona”).
Highlights from our Podcast: Angry Brother’s incessant cockiness and whining, Ben Folds (Ashley), really needs a shower, Padma’s “cowgirl chic”, Frenchy (Mattin) makes the judges sick (literally), and Chef Tim Love’s p-p-p-poker face.
Highlights from our Podcast: We slip into French accents to set the mood, Jeff describes how dirty “Ben Folds” (Ashley) is, the debate over Frenchy’s (Mattin) sexuality and if he has a thing for Jersey Mike, Katie thinks “Ceveech” (Jennifer) and “Angry Brother” (Mike V.) are ‘banging’ out a lot more than dishes, “Jack Black” (Jesse- pictured at right) finally gets set free, and we take a stab at predicting our trifecta for the finale.
For their elimination, the chefs had to cook for 300 airmen and their families at an Air Force base. The catch- they had to use some canned items and their kitchens had no burners, just large ovens and tilt skillets. For some reason, the chefs decided to pair up into teams, even though they were not instructed to. This, obviously, became the demise for a few of them. Highs: The Atlanta “fat kids”, Eli and Kevin (”Redbeard”), pulled off some delicious-looking pulled pork and Southern potato salad and the less hotter brother (Michael V.) did some slab bacon in a lettuce leaf – because bacon makes everything taste better, even salad). Lows: Laurine and Preeti’s dull pasta salad and Michael I.’s (”Jersey Mike”) Greek oil-poached shrimp salad. After not getting why she was in the bottom three again (and arguing about it), Preeti (”Phranc”) was sent packing.
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