CL Holiday Auction Item #25: The Whole Family Makeover

Creative Loafing Holiday Auction
All proceeds benefit The Children’s Home. New items will be added for bidding on The Daily Loaf throughout the auction, which concludes Dec. 16. For more info, return to the Holiday Auction page.
If your family (like the one in the photo) is suffering from a severe style deficit — more Beverly Hillbillies than Beverly Hills — then this is the auction item for you. The Whole Aveda Salon Spa in Oldsmar is offering to spruce up the entire clan (up to 4 people) with a Whole Family Makeover just in time for the holidays. Get the Star Treatment for mom (customized facial and makeup, eyezone wrap, shampoo and style), the Manly Man for dad (massage, back treatment, pedicure and haircut) and haircuts for the kids. You’ll shine brighter than the neighbors’ 15,000-bulb Light-O-Rama!
Estimated value: $350. Suggested opening bid: $50










12 ) Brett Favre’s Stained Baseball Cap – Nothing screams John Deere quite like a Brett Favre press conference. The on-again, off-again, gun-slinging, formerly retired quarterback of the Green Bay Packers…. I mean New York Jets…. wait, no, the Minnesota Vikings made a lot of press lately with his most recent return to the NFL. When Minnesota officially announced his latest comeback, Favre looked like he had just gotten off his riding lawnmower. A slave to fashion he’s never been, but don’t tell that to the marketing brass at Wrangler jeans. Favre has a style all his own, no matter how tired we all are of seeing it. What other Hall of Fame athlete could get away with wearing a torn, oil-slicked baseball cap while announcing he was about to earn $12 million at the age of 40?
11) LeBron James’s Headband – LeBron James has made the sweatband fashionable again in the NBA. Never before has a man wearing a headband been so intimidating. Only King James could rock the headband and make it look cool. Well, he and John McEnroe back in the day, but LBJ has considerably less hair. You go ahead and tell the league’s brightest talent that headbands are lame. Just be careful he’s not dunking over you in the meantime.
As a child, I spent many afternoons with Playboy magazines I found in my parents’ bathroom. I would hide one in my waistband, climb a tree, and find a comfortable spot to sit and flip through the pages. I didn’t read the articles, but rather stared at the big-breasted women coyly looking back at me.
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The raunchy cosmetics brand Urban Decay — which already sells highly pigmented eye shadows with grimy names like Baked, Roach and Asphyxia — has launched Pocket Rockets, a line of colorful lip glosses.
If you buy David, a mauve-toned gloss, you get a 30-something, corporate cutie in a suit. If you choose Jesse, a sheer — sparkly blackberry gloss — you get a hipster with long, scraggly hair. If your the type of girl who digs boys that are taken, you’ll probably grab Julio, the young father with a chunky baby girl on his hip.


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