Daily Loaf

“Dream Momma, I’m a young woman from Tampa. My dad died a little over a year ago. The other night I dreamed he gave me a key. The key was fancy and old. It was gold or gold metal. I read your blogs a lot so I know the key is probably a symbol, but still wanted some input from you.”

Thank you for following my blog and yes, you are correct: The key is a symbol. Now, the cool thing about dream symbols is that they are very specific in their own way. For example, ask yourself why he didn’t give you a different type of key; a modern one or a pink one with little dots on it?  This particular key is about your Read the rest of this entry »

As a child, I spent many afternoons with Playboy magazines I found in my parents’ bathroom. I would hide one in my waistband, climb a tree, and find a comfortable spot to sit and flip through the pages. I didn’t read the articles, but rather stared at the big-breasted women coyly looking back at me.

I was thrilled at the prospect of growing up to look like these women. As they were the only naked ladies I’d ever seen, it only made sense that all women had these magnificent boobies. I eagerly awaited the day my own chest would blossom. 15 years later, I’m still waiting. Read the rest of this entry »

“ Dream Momma, I dreamt I got a phone call from an old boyfriend (my first if ya know what I mean) from 27 years ago. The phone call went something like this – he says ” sorry. I. have not called. in.. a while….somebody……hurt me.” long pauses in the phone conversations and the “hurt me” was evil & drawn out…..I had fear. when I woke up my hand was in a position to have held a cell phone and it was locked like that for awhile. the weird thing is I was young – I never loved the guy & he never loved me (we just had sex for several months), so it was no great significance or loss when it was over. I cannot believe my subconscious would send me info from a casual affair when I have two men in my life (long term love relationships) that are more prominent & more recent. Even in my dream I was confused as to why this guy would be calling me. REally it was nothing special in real life.” (sic)

Dream Momma just loves those unconscious typos (“REally”).  Talk about denial of a tremendously significant passage in a young woman’s life. REALLY! So what’s up with that? Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, I dreamed I was pregnant (which in real life I am) and that my husbands best friend entered my room and started kissing my neck and I was going along with it. He then took off my clothes and his own clothes and showed me his big penis. I then told him to put on a condom because in my dream I was still aware I was pregnant. So we had sex (missionary style), which is not recommended to do while pregnant, but in my dream I let him because he wasn’t putting any pressure on my stomach like in real life my husband does. So while we were having sex, all I was thinking about was how I had just took my revenge that I was plotting against my husband and put it to action. We then finished and even though I did it to get back at my husband I begged him not to tell him. Still in my dream but later on that day we were all at the house and my husbands best friend was also there, but I felt so guilty. Even though I felt guilty I still wanted to do it again.” (sic)

Yikes, this is not good. Dream Momma wants to know why the hell you ever agreed to get pregnant? Or did you? Read the rest of this entry »

“I live in St. Petersburg, in my dream i was sleeping and i suddenly wake up and look out  the window. my ex boyfriend is sitting with a girl next to a pool. all i could see is the back of my head and my ex and the new girl. my ex looks up and gives me the goofiest smile and starts waving, i give him the finger. next thing i know he’s climbing up the side of my house, and i help him climb through the window and into my room. he stands on my bed and he starts talking to me. next thing my dream switches to me in a room with my mom and i am slowly getting a belly, and i realize that i am pregnant. i’m confused why nobody is freaking out except me, and when i go to touch my belly half of it deflates and it becomes see through, and inside there is a snake growing inside of me. i start freaking out and my mom tells me that this happens to everybody when theyre pregnant. i got to school the next day and no one seems to notice that i am pregnant. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?” (sic)

You’ve had a heavy dream, dark and rich with hidden family myths that you are intuitive enough to sniff out.  It means that in your family belief system, sex is related to betrayal. Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, In my dream I was in the middle of 4th grade and we moved because my father got a job offer with this other company. Even though I was sad about leaving my kindergarten friends and classmates behind I knew in the dream it was supposed to happen. My parents found the house we’re living at now. Suddenly I’m in 5^th grade. In 5th grade all the 5th grade classes did a little act in the talent show. There was this guy who did a little rap and he had two friends who did a little dance behind him while he did it. I have no clue about the song or what he said to this day. I’m not a fan of rap. One of the guys who was doing the dance I was very drawn to. Being in 5th grade in the dream I didn’t think much of it just that I was physically attracted to him.” (sic)

On a purely symbolic level your dream is about sexual identity or, more specifically, Read the rest of this entry »

Love on the rocks
Ain’t no surprise
Pour me a drink
And I’ll sell you some lies
Got nothing to lose
So you just sing the blues all the time
-Neil Diamond

If you have been dumped then you know how bad it sucks. If you have never been there, then you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch.

About four weeks ago I was in heavy training mode for the Marine Corps Marathon. I was at 18 miles of a 22-mile training run  and it happened. I got tendonitis in my lower ankle/foot. I was out for about four weeks and had to make the decision to defer the race. My weeks away from running were like a bad break up.

Here’s my reasoning, assuming you are the dumpee and Running is the dumper: You meet running and at first you aren’t real impressed with it. It’s a little tough to get to know him/her. But you do. And you start spending a lot of time together. You spend money on Running, taking it out to fancy stores and locations. You woo it with your fancy clothes and gadgets. You even buy it lots of delicious Italian dinners. You fall in love with Running and think it feels the same way about you.

You become obsessed with Running. You think about it all the time. You doodle its name with little hearts on your checkbook while balancing it. You think you and Running will never break up. You + Running = Forever.

But then it happens. Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, keep having the same kind of dream the past 3 nights. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and i keep having dreams that he is going to break up with me sooner or later. Our relationship hasn’t always been perfect, but we have been through a lot and are still together. If i keep dreaming that, is it going to come true?” (sic)

You have had a series of prophetic, warning, dreams and yes, he will break up with you unless you deal with the relationship now.

You’re lucky, the upside to a prophetic dream is that it Read the rest of this entry »

A disturbing premonition wrestled me from slumber hours before dawn.

Captain Beefheart [pictured right circa 1969] is going to die soon.

And it won’t rupture the zeitgeist enough as it should.

But having the world mourn alongside won’t help ease anything, because for myself, and I believe for most fans of Don Van Vliet’s enigmatic character, the actual listening experience was usually a solitary activity, due to the fact that no one else in the room ever wants to hear “Hobo Chang Ba,” even when the mood is too perfect.

I might try to take the day off though. Lounge around the house. Start with A&M Sessions, end with Grow Fins box.

But are men truly resurrected by the repetition of thoughts and memories? As if a fierce combustion of our chatty consciousnesses exploding across all corners of the globe could somehow be swept up and breathe actual life into the corpse? Read the rest of this entry »

“Dear Dream Momma, I have a big crush on this guy I know. In my dream last night he said hi and seemed really happy to see me and his face and eyes glowed with this happy warmth. I said hi and I could feel inside I was screaming with excitement but wanted to play it cool. We went to this wooded picnic table and sat down on the same seat. I noticed I was a little close to him so I scooted over some closer to the edge on the left but he scooted closer to me. He asked me how I was and I could feel myself blush. I said I was okay and asked him. He said how he was doing okay but he felt bad cause he took some time off of college because his wife and daughter were very sick and he wanted to take care of them and spend time with them. I remember feeling like I was going to cry and I could feel all his love and concern for the wife and daughter and I remember seeing a gold wedding ring on his finger. The weird thing is in real life he’s single and he has a few degrees from university and has a well established job he’s been working at for a few years now. Why is he married in the dream?”

The short answer is, because he is married. Married to something else, and I suspect it’s Read the rest of this entry »

“I dreamt that I was working at my old job (the one I had before my current one) and that I kept trying to escape but someone kept catching me and bringing me back.  I finally had the smart idea to open and shut one door as though I had gone into that room but instead kept going down the hall and snuck out a different way.  It worked — the person who had been catching me fell for my trick and went in the wrong room looking for me.

At first, I was very happy to be free and felt a lot of joy.  But slowly it started dawning on me that I was a criminal – that I had illegally left.  Eventually I started to feel a lot of guilt over this and realized I didn’t want to live my life “on the run.”  I also learned that my employer had gotten a search warrant for my home to try and track me down – that made me realize even more the seriousness of what I had done.  So I hired an attorney to turn myself in which just required reporting back to work.

People were upset with me.  In the last scene of the dream I went over to something I had written on the wall before I left.  I had intended to write “I’m out of here!” and had relished the thought of people reading that and realizing that I had escaped.  When I looked at it upon my return to the office I noticed I had mistakenly written “I’m out out here.”  So my slap in the face to my co-workers had been completely unclear and nobody knew what it meant.  I felt very disappointed about that and then I woke up.”

Dream Momma wants to use your dream to help you and others understand their inner trickster.   Read the rest of this entry »

“I was surrounded by a bunch of people I used to work with at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.  The dream felt pretty benign; more thoughtful than interactive.  I considered each person & what my relationship with them had been like.  There were at least one or two significant people missing.  I didn’t really talk with them at all in the dream.  I was more accepting of them, viewed them objectively, than when we worked together.  It was in muted color, if that matters.  I think I felt some surprise at how peaceful the gathering was, considering the environment we all moved in when we were known to one another.  Some of these folks really disliked me & visa versa, but in this dream there was no animosity.  Actually, it was very clinical – there was no feeling one way or another among the ’subjects.’  I felt comfortable, but other than that, I don’t recall any other emotions.”

Here is the most important part of your ho-hum dream: muted colors. “There were at least one or two significant people missing.” Dream Momma suggests that those significant dream people represent your true feelings; the feelings you are, for some insane reason, blocking off.  Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, I always wake up feeling guilty and covered in sweat but cannot remember dreaming. What’s up with that?”

So, you’ve had a dream that soaked your pillow, woke you up.   Bothered you all the next day too.  “What the hell?”  you chewed. Well the hell is you’ve had a “big” dream, one like legendary dream analyst Carl Jung had as a kid.  In Jung’s dream, he was shitting on a church.  Tough dream, daytime nightmare really, for a kid whose dad was a minister.  Oh, the guilt and shame.

Guilt and shame are what a lot of cold sweat dreaming leaves us with.  Dream-cheated on your girlfriend with her mother (who has “lifted” her age backwards and looks kinda, sorta hot?)  Shame on you!  Or, you dream-stole from  the kids little league team you help coach?  What’s that about?  You’re an honest guy.  Or, gulp, imagine dreaming of seducing the kid you’re baby sitting.  Lots of guilt and shame there too.

Relax, it’s not what it appears to be. Read the rest of this entry »

We have a lot of museums in the area, but they’re not all cheap to visit. Admission costs vary, but even the less expensive admissions add up if you’re taking the family. Even if you want to go, sometimes the budget doesn’t allow taking everyone to an exhibit.

But you can’t use that excuse today. Read the rest of this entry »

British pharmaceutical bigwig, Lloyd’s Pharmacy has created a six degrees of separation-style “calculator” system to determine how many indirect sexual partners you’ve had. The average Brit’s number is 2.8 million.

The calculator system, based on data collected from over 6,000 adults, is being called “sex degrees of separation.” Developed to raise awareness about sexually transmitted infections (STIs), the system lets people enter their number of sexual partners and their age ranges, then gives them an estimate of their indirect partners, meaning all the people who’ve slept with all the people they’ve slept with.

“When we sleep with someone, we are, in effect, not only sleeping with them, but also their previous partners and their partners’ previous partners, and so on,” says Clare Kerr, sexual health director of Lloyd’s Pharmacy. Read the rest of this entry »

Since 1996 my company, It’s Our Nature has had a vision of connecting our wellness to the health of the earth. Recently, Prevention Magazine provided a list of Surprising Signs That You’ll Probably Live Longer that correlate to a green lifestyle.

Here are some of the connections from Planet Green:

You walk to stay fit. Fit people–defined as those who walk for about 30 minutes a day–are more likely to live longer than those who walk less, regardless of how much body fat they have, according to a recent study of 2,603 men and women.

Green It: Walking for a purpose- The best way to stay fit is to include walking in your everyday life as a way to get from A to B. Park the car and instead choose to walk to the store or if you use public transportation, walk to the bus or train station. That’s why Europeans are so enviously thin; they walk to get somewhere not just to stay fit. Save fossil fuels and win the battle of the bulge by hitting the pavement.
Read the rest of this entry »

Attention those who run for fun or sport: There is a serious epidemic* occurring which could be personally affecting you. It’s called “Runner Boob Loss.”

Queue scary music.

Since you began running has your cup failed to runneth over? As your training progressed did you find that your chest, or chest plate rather, resembles that of a prepubescent 12-year-old boy? Have you found yourself creeping into the little girls department at Target to try on sports bras because you fail to fill a big girl bra? Do you find yourself wondering if doing the “We must, we must increase our bust” flexes could actually increase your bust? Do you experience boob envy while working out at the gym with non-runner girls? If so, you are a part of what I believe to be a widespread epidemic of diminishing proportions, and that is Runner Boob Loss.

Don’t get me wrong, I was never particularly well endowed in the that department to begin with, but where here the hell did my boobs go? And please, spare me the old boobs-are-fat-and-fat-is-the-first-thing-to-go response because my chunky monkey (ass) has an endless supply of fat and it most certainly hasn’t gone anywhere. Read the rest of this entry »

The study of yoga was first brought to the Western world by Paramahansa Yogananda as a way of spreading enlightenment.  He popularized yoga and meditation through his autobiography, Autobiography of a Yogi which was first published in 1946.  This ancient tradition offers many esoteric and physical benefits with regular practice. 

Some of the physical benefits include increased toning, flexibility, improved posture, improved lung capacity, as well as lowered blood pressure.  Yoga can also assist with many chronic conditions such as back pain, arthritis, asthma and insomnia.  Yoga also brings in a state of calm which reflects stress build up in one’s life.  We all know that stress effects your entire being, especially your physical health, as the emotional and mental create the physical health.
Read the rest of this entry »

In April I wrote about a casting call MTV put out for their True Life series. The topic: Polyamory. Like many poly folk, I was concerned (and curious) about how MTV would portray polyamory. I predicted that MTV would focus more on the fighting, jealousy, and negative aspects of polyamory with perhaps a minuet mention of the good. As time went on, I comforted myself with an article in Newsweek that could be presented as a “better alternative” to the True Life episode when the inevitable naysayers began making their appearances. Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma,

“Okay, so I am dating this girl which I am a female…and I’ve also dated her cousin. Who is a guy. He calls and talks to her but asks for me at first. Is it to hear my voice?…now I’ve let go of him other than as a friends because of dating his cousin. But I still have dreams about him, our relationship ended bad. And my dreams are always about him apologizing and saying he screwed up for ever leaving me and he begs me to take him back well in my dream I always take him back…and we end up having sex. My dream feels so real…what do I do about this…what could it mean I should do?”

So, as I understand it, you were sexually involved with cousins, one female, and one male.  You are a female. Read the rest of this entry »

By Catherine Durkin Robinson
PoHo contributor
Catherine Durkin Robinson is a handful creating quite a scene over at Out in Left Field.

Every year before Rosh Hashanah, synagogues send tickets to members for High Holy Day services. Non-members in the Tampa Bay area usually pay around $200.

That’s right.

Local Jews pay that kind of money for tickets to a show that doesn’t involve Neil Diamond or a free buffet. Who knew?

Included is usually a letter that lays out the rules and regulations for attending such services. Below please find the letter I received with my additions in bold.

Bold.

Get it?

Read the rest of this entry »

Lately, I haven’t been sleeping very well. Friends and family tell me that it is because I am living alone for the first time in my life. Perhaps this is true, but what I’ve discovered from my newly-poor sleeping habits is my appreciation of dawn.

On the few nights when I get tired, I’ll rise to the occasion by wearing the most comfortable pajamas I own, fix myself some chamomile tea and hop into bed as soon as possible. This usually occurs at about 7:30 p.m. Tragically, I’ll wake up at about 5:30 in the morning, bright-eyed, rested and smiling, but with no one to talk to. After lying in bed for about 30 to 45 minutes deciding what to do with myself, I decide to take the opportunity to use my subdivision’s gym. The best part about this: I will be the only one there.

I know I’ve made myself pretty clear on the fact that I like to workout, I enjoy the adrenaline rushes, and fitness is slowly taking over my life, but when it comes to gyms, I have a lot of hang-ups about to gym personalities. Read the rest of this entry »

“There can be no real happiness until the soul finds its peace.” -Dadi Janki; Administrative Head, Brahma Kumaris

Everyone in the world I know is either in the pursuit of peace or happiness or both.  Welcome to my post, dear readers, which is going to be all about the pursuit of sustainable happiness. 

I would like to give a brief synopsis of why and how I’m using the word sustainable in this context.  Just like green-related sustainability, it means a lifestyle that attempts to reduce our dependency on the Earth’s natural resources. Sustainability in relation to happiness here is used to denote something that is generative, something that will complete us and not deplete our energy levels, something that would inspire us to be better and, hence, more whole. 
Read the rest of this entry »

Here is the final portion of a story about my recent abortion. If you missed the last part, please read it here. It left off with my walking into the Planned Parenthood office.

I signed in, then sat for about ten minutes, reading Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get The Blues. When they called me, I signed a few papers, gave my insurance and emergency contact information, then was told to go upstairs.

When I reached the top of the staircase, I saw at least 70 pale, exasperated women waiting. I went to the desk and was given a wristband and a bit more paperwork. Then, I waited. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve spoken with many women about their experiences dating older men. After repeatedly hearing the same pros and cons, I decided to compile a list of tips for men who would like to successfully date younger women. You’re welcome.

1) Don’t make a big deal about the age difference. You can’t completely avoid the discussion, but unless she specifically finds it exciting (some do), don’t bring it up often. Avoid making her feel like a fetish item. Instead, let her know that you really like her and she just happens to be younger. Read the rest of this entry »

Since the inception of sportschump.net in April of 2009, I’ve written countless narratives about the world of sports. Yet the one piece that people remember most was not my detailed breakdown of the NBA Finals, the wild card races or my football season previews, but rather the fact that, when I go to the deli, I order a third of a pound of cold cuts. In that particular chumpdate, I went on to explain that, for me “a half a pound is too much, a quarter pound is never enough. Like the baby bear’s bed to Goldilocks, a third of a pound is just right.”

Well, I hereby introduce more Chumpservations, some sports related, some not so much. At the risk of sounding too much like Steven Wright, Andy Rooney and Jerry Seinfeld all rolled into one, here goes….

Working out in dress socks: Fashion faux pas? Apparently not.

I strolled into my local YMCA the other afternoon, bopping to some Tribe on my iPod. It was just after four in the afternoon. The gentleman checking in just in front of me appeared eager to work out as well. He walked into the gym with his workout clothes already on… with one glaring exception. He was wearing dress socks. Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma,
I was in my car waiting in line at a gas station. When it was my turn to put gas in my car the pump was dry. I was furious all of the other drivers got gas and I didn’t.

Dear Gas Station Dreamer,
Did you know that the booze we all swill down with reckless abandon and the gas we all pump into our cars non-stop share a common chemical?  Reading your dream conjured up an image of a guy sucking on the end of a gas pump line. I pay attention to my images; they’re my buddies and usually spot on.  I tell you this because I think you’re a drunk being challenged not to drink.

Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever been rudely awakened at 3 a.m. when your bed mate takes all the covers or rolls on top of you? How about trying to fall asleep while your partner snores like an asthmatic hog? According to sleep specialist Dr. Neil Stanley, couples should sleep separately for the good of their health and their relationship.

Dr. Stanley is quick to point out that couples suffer 50% more sleep disturbances when they share a bed and that historically, people are not actually meant to sleep beside one another. Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, I posted the first part of a story about my recent abortion. I left off on a Saturday, puking my guts out and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the procedure. Here’s the second portion of my story:

By Sunday, I was still a mess: sleepy, queasy, grumpy, bloaty (7 dwarves of pregnancy?) and my tits hurt like hell.

The previous evening, I had canceled plans with my ex, let’s call him “Marc,” telling him I had a stomach flu. When he called the next day and I was still sick, he wanted to take me to see a doctor. I was stuck: I wanted to spare his feelings, but hated lying to him.

“I’m not sick,” I began. “I’m, well… I’m pregnant.” Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma,

A dream that keeps repeating, from time to time, is buying a huge old house that is run down, and fixing it up, or traveling through cities in unknown areas and buying homes that are run down for a great price.

I’m going to get pure Jungian here. That means I am going to look at this dream as if everything in it is symbolic of the dreamer. In other words, his psyche is the old house and his quest for old houses that are run down (for a great price) is how this dreamer engages in unconscious wish fulfillment.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma,

I dreamed I was pregnant and not happy about it. In the dream I was a virgin and wondered how could this happen to me? People from all over, some from my past, were happy and congratulating me. My old boyfriend was there smirking. The dream was so strong I woke up wondering if I am pregnant. In real life my boyfriend and I do have sex so I’m not a virgin and we both are too young to get married. Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I did get pregnant?”

Find out what it all means after the break:

Read the rest of this entry »

This is the time to take in the new energy arriving from our universe to assist in making the necessary changes needed in our lives at this time.  Many are in a great state of turmoil – the economy is soaring downward quickly and environmental disaster is looming.  So what can we do?  Give in to the changes that are arriving.  This is time to let go of all that needs to be released in our lives.  Things are bubbling up and getting worse because it is time for change.  Look to new opportunities and new creative ideas to move us into joy.

Being in joy is the purest emotional state where all feels good.  Use this as a determinate on what to participate in and what to put your time and energy toward.  What feels good and brings a state of joy is the answer.  This technique can be used to make minor and major decisions in our lives from what to wear in the morning, what nutrition to put into our bodies, to which way to vote. 
Read the rest of this entry »

Jen and I had our weekly meeting (READ: daily IM-ing during work hours) regarding our posts for CL and decided that since I am suffering through an injury I could provide you all some insights on how to make it through an injury of your own. Physically making it through is one thing, mentally making it through is another.

The week before last I headed out with the running group to get in a nice 22 mile training run. At about mile 9ish the ankle starting hurting. By mile 13 it really hurt. Did I stop? Hell no. At 18 miles I had to throw in the towel and have been babying it ever since. Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma,

I woke up after a dream about Manjushri. I only remember that I awoke not happy he carries a big sword.

First I’d like to enlighten the readers as to what and who Manjushri is so my interpretation makes sense.

Manjushri is seen as an emanating enlightened being in the Buddhist tradition. He is associated with wisdom, doctrine and awareness. He is also the meditation deity who embodies enlightened wisdom.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve listened so many times to the chatter of little children, mostly my own. They flitter and twitter, mostly talking gibberish, and yet I listen intently. It’s been said we learn so much from them and yet it seems that all I’ve learned is a new language.

Some of the new terminology is interesting and yet mostly useless unless you are not technology-impaired and are talking to someone who understands the lingo. Six kids later, I understand the lingo…just a bit.

I won’t waste time here dwelling on the LOL’s and OMG’s, or even the WTF’s. Many of you know them, and the few that don’t, I envy you. With email and text messaging and instant messaging and whatever else, I find it a continuing struggle to maintain a certain element of the literary use of the language in my house.

To that end I often quote Shakespeare or Hawthorne. I even find some parallels in modern movies. Read the rest of this entry »