Daily Loaf

Cheating: to practice fraud or deceit; or informally to be sexually unfaithful.

Although this definition seems clear-cut, what constitutes cheating in a relationship is often ambiguous. For some, cheating includes intercourse but not oral sex. Some count French kissing but not closed mouth kisses. But what about holding hands or snuggling — physical acts that are more associated with emotional connections than physical acts of passion? To take it a step further, can you cheat without physically touching someone else? Is fantasizing about someone else during sex cheating? What about flirting online? Believe it or not, Wikipedia actually has a page for this subject, describing it as an affair of the heart. Read the rest of this entry »

I had so much fun in Key West for Fantasy Fest it should be illegal (though I’m sure some of it was, or very damn close).  The boat ride on the Key West Express was well worth it. We got there in a fraction of the time and my friend Melissa and I got a head start on the festivities by sucking down White Russians and talking to Fantasy Fest veterans and fellow virgins. My favorite old pros were Bob and Rita who gave us a heads up on the freaky crazy fun of swinger groups who meet in Key West just to have sex with one another and go to kink parties. We quickly realized how true their anecdote was when we stepped off the boat and were promptly offered a free room by some NYC cops. Unfortunately they were a bit vague as to the terms of their offer.

The best word to describe what I saw in Key West is WOW!! I knew I was going to see some weird shit at Fantasy Fest but no amount of preparation or pictures can ready a person for the real thing: a celebration of parades, naked people, drunken stupors, and casual sex. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has a secret.  Some may be juicy while others may be plain Jane, but simply put, everyone has something that no one else knows.

If you are reading my blogs you know a few of my secrets.   I blog mainly about my open marriage, my body, and my sex life. This isn’t really a secret to you, but the general population (i.e. most people close to me have no clue I do this).  It’s a big secret to me and I absolutely love having it. Read the rest of this entry »

Women either love receiving oral sex or hate it; there’s no in-between. I don’t understand how you can hate something that can be so pleasurable, and sometimes, quite frankly, that will  give you the best orgasm you have ever had. Self-conscious thoughts should be thrown out the window ladies because the smell, taste, or sight won’t be enough to make him stop if he knows you are getting pleasure from him. Unless of course you really need to take care of the aforementioned items discussed in my post, 5 turn-offs for him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Internet dating has fast become a popular way to meet people. There are sites for every type of relationship: singles, couples, swingers, cheaters, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and friends. However, the universe of the internet continues to expand, delving into ever more specific niches. Here are some samples of the hyper specific dating sites I’ve come across.

My favorite site so far is Cougarlife.  I’m not quite a cougar (I’m 37), but I do fancy a younger 20-something man, and would be happy to join this site!

For those who have a very particular fetish, you may find a potential partner in Extreme Restraints Dating, where members are encouraged to explore their hidden fantasies.  I poked around this site (its free!) and discovered there are some real hotties with fetishes I’ve never even imagined! Read the rest of this entry »

After some serious thought and input from a few close male friends, I formed this list of five common turn-offs for men. Disclaimer: this is not the TOP five, but merely five things women do or possess that are complete and utter turn-offs. I also suggest that female readers ask your well-kept and clean male friends their opinion on if you can check yourself off this list.

Read the rest of this entry »

All swingers have their own rules. Rules are what make swinging doable (pun intended).  Soccer Dad and I have gone somewhat past the basic swinger lifestyle and have dabbled a bit in an open marriage.  You might wonder how this is different.  We are having sex with others, isn’t that open?  It’s actually not.  Typically swingers share their experiences together.  That might mean sharing one bed with another couple and swapping, or having drinks and dinner with a couple and then following up with sex in the same room.  Sometimes couples, myself included, venture to separate rooms for sex. So, where do solo events fit into these scenarios? Read the rest of this entry »

An inquisitive reader emailed me asking my opinion on retro-sexing, ex-sex, & re-fucking an old flame. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t know how many of you are aware of the week long debauchery party that takes place in Key West every year: AKA Fantasy Fest. This year they’re celebrating 30 years of parades, painted naked people, drunken stupors, and casual sex. Fantasy Fest originated as a way to bring tourists to Key West in the off season. What better way to bring people to an island during hurricane season than to entice them with a giant Halloween street party with alcohol and painted naked people. I’m looking forward to the painted naked people the most. What can I say, I can see people in drunken stupors in downtown St. Pete, have causal sex on a Tuesday night at home, and see a parade at the drop of a dime in Tampa, but there’s not too many places I can see painted naked people first hand.

(NSFW Photos) Read the rest of this entry »

At my former job I met a man I’ll call Scott. Scott came in multiple times to specifically seek my advice and stayed roughly an hour each visit. We talked about each others’ lives, specifically love and sex; I like to think these subjects are my forte and I talk about them with most everyone. The majority of the the conversations were about his ex and recent dates he went on. Once, when it was time for Scott to leave, I was on my way out for lunch. As we walked out together I said, “You know I don’t have that many good guy friends that I can chat with around here. We should be friends.”

He shot me a curious smile and gave me his phone number. We occasionally shot each other a text about our bad experiences with Verizon and the like, but then things went in a direction I wasn’t expecting.

Via text he asked, “What do you want?”

I laughed and said, “Well nothing. You know I’m not single, right?” I figured Facebook would have given him that answer.

“I’m not looking for anything serious,” he wrote. “You’re a cool girl and all, but I’m not looking for anything ’serious’ with you.”

I could not believe what I was hearing. I legitimately thought he wanted to be my friend, but in the end he just wanted to fuck. I ended communication with Scott immediately and called a close male friend to vent.

As naive as it sounds, I have never been asked out-right to be a friend-with-benefits. Don’t get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with that, but I honestly did not think he had an ulterior motive. I was very, very wrong.

This got me thinking of other scenarios with male “friends.” Two of my close male friends have told me that we couldn’t be friends or talk as much, because of trust issues with their partners. When did I cross a line where it’s not OK to be friends with males, especially if they are in a relationships?

I have always had more male than female friends and am confused as to why this relationship seems taboo to many. I can understand how a girlfriend would get jealous if I had slept with or dated these male friends, but otherwise I’m lost. The worst part is that I have been friends with one guy long before he met his recent beau, so why should I have to give him up as a friend?

My boyfriend and I have an exponential amount of trust for one another and I think this is what is lacking in couples that “forbid” their partner to have friends of the opposite sex. I feel that if you do not have friends of the opposite sex for fear of what will happen in your own relationship, you are missing out on some major life experiences, and I don’t mean sexually.

Why am I just now learning this unspoken rule? After some thought I think I have found a solution: the friend needs to meet the partner in order to convey a sense of trust and to prove that he/she has no ulterior motives. But is the rule only applicable to people in marriages or relationships? What about single people? I need some perspective on this one? What do you all think?

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I am what many may call a protection queen.  If you want to put your man parts into my girl parts you better be covered.  It’s a very simple rule–no sex without a condom.  There are many reasons I feel this way – I don’t want an STD, I don’t want to get pregnant, and I like my vagina as it is:  pretty, smooth, and pink.

Not all swingers live by this rule. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been in a few bedrooms over the years and I’m always amazed by the sounds that come out of overly excited sex partners, either with me or in the bed next to me.  Everyone responds differently to sex, orgasm, and excitement, but  how much of that noise is genuine and how much is put on for show?

I am not an overly noisy person during sex.  I don’t really talk loudly about the dirty deeds I want you to do to me.  You could say I am more of a sexual whisperer.  If you were having sex with me you might experience my hot breath in your ear, whispering whatever comes to mind in my sexiest voice.  Although, sometimes I find myself being  just silly in bed and clowning around during sex.  Unfortunately this might be at your expense — sorry.  But, if you’re lucky enough to hear me raise my voice a bit, grind out a few words in a deep tone, you are probably hurting me, and well, at the moment it might be a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »

I guess you could call Soccer Dad and I seasoned swingers, as we’ve been involved in the lifestyle for more than eight years. But, even with this vast amount of experience I still don’t always know what swingers are looking for. Online swinger profiles offer some insight into understanding what swingers want, as well as illuminate some of the confusion involved in trying to make connections within the swinging scene. Read the rest of this entry »

Read by T.R. Robbins (audio)
Shark fin soup
is not an aphrodisiac,
unless you get off on
unnecessary death.

Leather however,
has its place,

from the sultry booth
where the jazz spoke
your gestures across
the room

to the belt that slowly
slipped off your trousers Read the rest of this entry »

Do you know where the g-spot is? You should! It is, after all, what allows some women to orgasm during vaginal penetration. Find her sweet spot manually and she’ll likely want to jump on your cock for more.

If your finger is inside a girl, the g-spot is your target. Why? Because it stimulates her clitoris from the inside. Seriously, no gal past the age of fifteen should have to deal with some inept schmuck shoving a finger or two straight in and out of her pussy – it feels no better than being poked it the armpit. Read the rest of this entry »

Exactly when did ordinary sex became taboo?  What ever happened to the days of mind blowing sex with one partner who wasn’t married to someone else or hanging from a death defying sex swing?  Have we evolved so much that sex itself isn’t good enough?

Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has their preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. I prefer dark hair, light eyes, and a man who stays in-shape. I focus on my figure and expect the same from men. However, don’t misunderstand me when I say preferences. I prefer certain characteristics, as do all women, but there are some things that are major turn-offs for most females.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve had many emails asking how to successfully approach other swingers.  The answer isn’t the same for everyone.  Approaching a stranger for sex is awkward at best, let alone  incredibly intimidating.  What if they say no?  What if they don’t like you?  How do you know if they like you? Read the rest of this entry »

Living the swinger lifestyle offers the opportunity of having sex with many different strangers.  I don’t really know all of the people I have sex with, but normally I have talked and spent some time with them before engaging in any sexual play.  But, even with this excitement I still fantasize about riskier sex scenarios.

In the dressing room/closet: I have always wanted to have sex in a department store dressing room or a random storage closet with a total stranger.  The thought of meeting a beautiful stranger and having erotic sex after locking eyes gets me hot and bothered.  This must be a fantasy many of you have too. Read the rest of this entry »

If you prefer Mad Men to Gossip Girl, museums to malls and Tina Fey to Paris Hilton, this is for you.

Everyone enjoys a bit of erotica on occasion, but who has the time to weed through all the crap in order to find the good stuff? Don’t just settle. I’ve compiled a list of the best sexy sites for “the thinking set,” men and women who want art, beauty and perhaps a bit of intellect in their erotica. Read the rest of this entry »

As I float around my pool today, naked of course, I fantasize about things I’d like to do naked.  Some of these things may be risky and others just goofy, but all fun.

Besides jumping in the pool naked, I’ve walked around a private club naked, attended a swingers party naked, and I’ve actually danced on a stripper pole a time or two naked. But I still fantasize about a few other things i could do in my birthday suit. Read the rest of this entry »

I hate when guys tell me they don’t have girlfriends when they do. I don’t care. If I’m attracted to you, I’ll fuck you. Just don’t lie to me. I want to know the risks upfront. Some women flip out on you if they catch you with their man. I ended up with a pit bull and a mountain of clothes four feet high on my doorstep once because I was fucking someone‘s boyfriend. Of course at the time, I denied I even knew him and made her take it all back. I learned my lesson though: if he has a girlfriend, only fuck him once, or there will be drama. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m at the point in my life where almost everyone I know is getting engaged. I’ve been to three weddings this year, which is more than I’ve attended in my entire life. I’m surrounded by my friends with “wedding fever.” If they’ve been in a long-term relationship, they’re pushing for a proposal. If they’re single, they’re rushing to find someone. Why the sudden rush?

Read the rest of this entry »

As I was driving to work Monday, Fisher and Boy from the 97X morning show played a creepy voicemail from a dude attempting to get a date.  The bit was about a woman who was approached by a  guy who asked her out. She wasn’t interested and was only able to get rid of him by giving him her business card.  Probably a dumb move, but I sympathize. The guy called her two times leaving two very long, creepy messages.  Some men just can’t imagine why any female wouldn’t want to date or sleep with them. This made me consider all the creepy ways men have tried to weasel their way into my life, or at least my vagina. Read the rest of this entry »

Boners, dykes, pubes, drag queens – I’ve discussed it all with my 13-year-old sister, Rose. We have a sort of no-holds-barred relationship; she can ask me anything and I’ll be completely honest. Growing up, my Bubbi and I shared the same sort of communication and I treasured it, so I wanted to offer this kind of relationship to my sisters.

Without batting an eye, I’ve explained  condoms, abortions, why I’m bisexual or “half-lesbian,” and, to her surprise, that women get armpit hair. But recently, Rose asked something that gave me pause. She wanted to know why I don’t date hot guys. Read the rest of this entry »

Four different qualities can describe a woman: hot, beautiful, sexy, and sensual. Hot can be easily achieved with the right clothes, hairstyle, and make-up. Beautiful is, take your breath away, crack a smile smitten. Sexy is an attitude that can be displayed through body language and accentuated with clothing. Sensual is more of an action that stems from sexy, her sexual undertones and mannerisms all relate back to a sexy female, and of course, sex.

Sex doesn’t always have to be about sex. Having a partner that is sensual can make your mood that much better. However, you don’t always have to have sex to be sensual. A few simple acts, sans penetration, can get your blood flowing and lift your libido. Here are a few sensual scenarios that capture sensuality without sex. Read the rest of this entry »

Who has sex with strangers?  I think the answer is most of you. Whether you are a swinger, single person, or a perpetual cheater, it’s likely you’ve had sex with someone you consider a stranger.  So why do so many people think the swinging lifestyle is so strange — we too have sex with strangers, but at least we’re honest about it. Read the rest of this entry »

I occasionally receive sex questions to answer on my blog. This recent question and its accompanying answer struck me as something I should share with a wider audience:

I can’t believe I’m actually asking this, but I’m kind of desperate. I am dating a guy who is uncircumcised and I’ve never been with an uncut guy before… I have no idea what to do with it. To be honest, I think it looks kinda gross, but I really like him so I want to learn how to work with it and pleasure him. How do I do that? Read the rest of this entry »

Women have it easy.  They can get laid nearly effortlessly. Men on the other hand aren’t quite so lucky.  Even the male half of a swinging couple must put forth the effort to catch the eye of a pretty lady or the hot soccer mom at a party.  Vanillas (non swingers) may think that being a swinger at a swinger party pretty much guarantees sex, but the truth is it doesn’t.

The rule of thumb for both swinger men and vanilla men (I apologize if you  feel plain) is, keep your mind open and your hands to yourself.  This may seem contradictory to some, but if you’re open to talking just a little and not groping her soccer ball shaped ass, you’ll succeed more times than not.  Trust me. I’m a woman and I know these things.

Don’t talk yourself out of sex.  Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has a list… a list of people you are allowed to sleep with while you’re in a relationship. For some, the realization of this list may not actually be “allowed,” but the list exists nonetheless.

In the beginning of my four year relationship, my boyfriend and I both mentioned people on our respective lists. I originally thought it was strange to talk about other people we lusted after, but times have changed and the list continues to evolve. I’ve seen a few of the people on my list recently and wasn’t impressed. They have since been replaced.

Read the rest of this entry »

In the 80’s I did some things I’m not proud of, one of which was having sex with a married man. Yeah it was fun and he gave me money and lots of things, but eventually my morals kicked in and I broke it off. This guy had a horrible sex life with his wife who wasn’t bad looking. Today I find a similar situation with many male acquaintances who are not satisfied with their love lives.  I understand that after10 or 30 years of marriage, sex can get a bit boring, so I’m here to provide a few tips to help keep things lively in the sack. Read the rest of this entry »

I love to masturbate! Everyone masturbates, well, except for weirdos, old people, and those who haven’t tried it.  I’ll admit that I was in my late 20s before I discovered the beauty of self pleasure.  Since then I turned into a closet masturbator.  No, this doesn’t mean that I pretend that I don’t; it simply means I masturbate in the closet.   This may seem rather strange to you, but it makes perfect sense to me.  I get home a bit earlier than expected and the house is empty, but for how long is unknown.  I need some me time and I don’t want to get caught.  Thus, closet masturbation is born. Read the rest of this entry »

Here is the final portion of a story about my recent abortion. If you missed the last part, please read it here. It left off with my walking into the Planned Parenthood office.

I signed in, then sat for about ten minutes, reading Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get The Blues. When they called me, I signed a few papers, gave my insurance and emergency contact information, then was told to go upstairs.

When I reached the top of the staircase, I saw at least 70 pale, exasperated women waiting. I went to the desk and was given a wristband and a bit more paperwork. Then, I waited. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve spoken with many women about their experiences dating older men. After repeatedly hearing the same pros and cons, I decided to compile a list of tips for men who would like to successfully date younger women. You’re welcome.

1) Don’t make a big deal about the age difference. You can’t completely avoid the discussion, but unless she specifically finds it exciting (some do), don’t bring it up often. Avoid making her feel like a fetish item. Instead, let her know that you really like her and she just happens to be younger. Read the rest of this entry »