Daily Loaf

If you’ve always wanted to watch someone beat the shit out of Will Ferrell with a baseball bat, have I got a movie for you …

• Finally, Karl Rove and Harriet Miers will testify on the record.
• Obama Administration fleshes out the details of the mortgage bailout plan.
• Chances the U.S. is headed for a Depression: One in five.
• Doctors now using waivers to prevent patients from posting about their visits online.
• Barbara Bush (the old one) goes under the knife.
• Tax laws get tougher for the wealthy, as the wealthy are now expected to pay taxes.
• Facebook battles Twitter in a fight you need your kids to explain.
• “Bucs Lose Buchanon To Lions.” Was 0-16 Detroit really a better option?
• Manny signs with L.A. for $45 million. I know I feel better now.

Not much to this one. Bizkit is a dog and he/she is having one intense dream. Enjoy.

• Democrats bow to lenders, revise mortgage bailout plan.
• Obama hits personal high in job approval polls.
• St. Pete police or Keystone Cops?
• The Coast Guard has called off the search for the missing NFL boaters.
• “Pakistan hunts militants after deadly cricket attack.” They’ve weaponized crickets?
• When breaking & entering, try not to hit the air marshal’s house.
• Blockbuster swears they’re not filing for bankruptcy. (Which of course means they are …)
• Jimmy Fallon’s a hit!

Here’s a compelling animation of the U.S. Airways Hudson River crash. Stay tuned for the end, where the passengers are revealed to be the cast of The Sims.

• Michael Steele apologizes to Rush, making Limbaugh the defacto leader of the Republican Party.
• R.I.P. The Dow Jones Industrial Average.
• Is this a Depression? What the hell is a “Depression,” anyway?
• How dangerous and out of control was the Bush Administration?
• Where in the world is Hillary Clinton?
• “Scientists make HIV strain that can infect monkeys.” What did the monkeys ever do to us?
• New iMacs today?
• The Bucs learn a thing or two about Karma.

In honor of Obama’s brief mention of Clean Coal Technology, here is an ad for an air freshener based on this breakthrough of modern science-fiction. Have a good weekend, everyone.

• Obama takes the wraps off the budget …
• … Let’s hope it goes over better than the Iraq withdrawal plan.

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Comedian Louis CK puts our current economic crisis in perspective.

• What’s another $634 billion among friends?
• When it comes to their guns, Mexican drug cartels buy American.
• Pick a diet, any diet …
• The Obamas have selected the First Dog … maybe.
• Tiger Woods is frickin’ incredible.
• The Arrested Development movie is a go.
• Good bye, Derrick Brooks, Warrick Dunn. Hello, rebuilding year.
• R.I.P. Philip Jose Farmer.

Woo hoo! They are partying like it’s 1997 down on Wall Street. I don’t know about you, but I’m waiting for it to hit 1933 levels before I start my bargain hunting.

• Obama plans “a more transparent budget.” I presume that means it will be printed on clear paper.
• “I have already talked to (Defense Secretary Robert) Gates about a thorough review of the helicopter situation. The helicopter I have now seems perfectly adequate to me.”
• The FBI is hot on the trail of Buddy Johnson.
• Obama remains popular in opinion polls.
• Keep your bikes off the Selmon, hippies!
• Destined to go down in flames: A bill to legalize weed in California.
• Academy Award ratings not quite as horrible as last year.
• Jell-O wrestling at the ends of the earth.

The Canadians went wild over President Obama’s visit, his first trip out of the U.S. since assuming office. Have a good weekend, everyone. See you at the Oscar live blog Sunday night at 7 p.m.

• The NY Post apologizes (sort of) for that maybe-racist cartoon.
• They’re still working out the details of who will qualify for the mortgage bailout.

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This may qualify as the dumbest thing I have ever posted in this space. Yet, somehow I am charmed. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Obama’s Elf.

• High hopes in Florida for Obama’s foreclosure plan.
• Hillary takes it to them in Asia.

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Now that the $787 billion stimulus package has been signed in to law, you may be wondering, “What’s in it for me?” This video should help.

• President Obama orders 17,000 troops to Afghanistan.
• Looks like we’re not going to be one big bipartisan family after all.

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Was yesterday a slow news day or what? Guess that explains how video of a woman screaming in the Hong Kong airport because she missed her flight was the biggest story of the day.

• Florida tourism numbers fall for the first time in 7 years.
• Now that the stimulus plan is done, what’s next?

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Come on, Warner Bros.! How many of these Watchmen sneaks are you going to put together? We get it. There’s lots of brooding in slow-mo. Things explode. Glass shatters. Just release the frickin’ movie already!

In any event, if your appetite still needs whetting, check out the latest Watchmen trailer after the jump …

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And now, a message from the President of the United States of America.

• When Sen. Lindsey Graham advocates nationalizing the banks, you know we’ve got a crisis.
• President Obama to sign the $787 billion stimulus bill into law on Tuesday in Denver.

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I can’t believe Obama appointed Judge Dredd to his cabinet in the first place. Have a good weekend everyone.

• Gov. Crist’s bipartisanship leads to a Republican backlash.
• Court rules Autism not caused by vaccines. Don’t we have doctors for this?

Chris Brown and Rihnna after the jump.

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This is a great Daily Show segment, in which Jon takes apart Bill O’Reilly yet again. Bill-O’s hypocrisy practically melts the screen.

• The Simulus Bill That Will Not Die tops out at $789 billion. What do you think? Too big, too small or just right?
• Bank CEOs swear to Congress that they are lending cash to consumers. Uh huh.

A piss test for prostate cancer? Info after the jump …

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Good morning, South Carolina. Good news! There’s no more real crime in your state. How do I know? The cops spent time yesterday arresting eight college kids for being at that party where Michael Phelps was caught on camera sucking on a bong. Phelps was not among the incarcerated. (Of course.)

• Late-night bargaining in The Stimulus Debate That Will Not Die.
• Jesus Geithner, you can’t announce that you’ll have details of a plan soon. That means you don’t have a fucking plan in the first place!

More news after the break …

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Obama stumped for the stimulus package during last night’s prime-time press conference, the first of his administration. In case you missed it:

• Obama in Ft. Myers: At least now we know the epicenter of Florida’s economic meltdown isn’t Tampa Bay.
• From the stimulus frying pan to the bailout fryer.

More news after the break …

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A lot of good Gasparilla video on YouTube. I enjoyed this one, a floats-eye-view of the parade.

• Keeping tabs on the never-ending stimulus debate.
• Republican leader Michael Steele almost went a whole week before having to clear his “good name.”

More news after the break … Read the rest of this entry »

What better way to end this week than with a Colbert clip where Stephen sends up the Christian Bale meltdown with a little help from fellow Stephen, Steve Martin? Have a good weekend!

• Obama shoots back at the Republicans; says time is of the essence on stimulus bill.
• But can they pass it today?

More news after the jump… Read the rest of this entry »

Poor Alberto Gonzalez. He can’t seem to find a job. What a shocker after the bang-up job he did as Attorney General.

• You win some: Obama signs SCHIP expansion into law.
• You lose some: The stimulus package wrangling continues …

Much more news after the jump.

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New Lost tonight, and here’s a sneak peak at tonight’s episode. Don’t tell me what happens in it. I’ll wait to find out.

• Obama caps executive pay at $500,000. Let the cries of the apocalypse begin.
• The President continues his bipartisanship attack by appointing a Republican to the Secretary of Commerce post.

Much more news is one click away …

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I’ll have what he’s having.

• Eric Holder confirmed as Attorney General. Let’s hope a memory test was part of the vetting process.
• And the new Speaker of the Florida House is …

It gets a little dark after the break folks. You’ve been warned …

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Here’s a great piece on the impact of the recession on this year’s Super Bowl. (From Al-Jazeera, no less!) Tampa looks great in the video, and looked stunning in all the overhead shots during the game. Nice job, Bay area. See you in 2014, NFL.

• The Steelers win one for the other thumb.
• NBC does a super job with the Big Game.

Lots more after the break…

• Super Bowl excitement taxes cell phone systems to the limit.
• Jennifer Hudson nailed it.
• Incidentally, I paid no attention to the ads this year. Guess what: I don’t feel like I missed anything.
• Hot Obama nominee trend: screwing up you taxes.
• OMG, Michael Phelps smoked some weed! The whole fucking world is going to end!!!!
• Over the weekend, Google decided every other website was a virus.
• A new iPhone in the wild around San Francisco?

With the big game just around the corner, here is an informative video that should help ticket counterfeiters make more realistic facsimiles to sell to the helpless rubes around Ray-Jay. Thank you, St. Pete Times!

• We’re live-blogging the game on Sunday. Won’t you stop by and give your $.02?
• Be careful driving this weekend. There will be road closures to contend with.
• Good news Steelers fans, Hines Ward looks like a go.

More news (and Blago!) after the break…

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The bill moves on to the Senate, where Obama is going to need at least a few Republican votes to get the package through to his desk.

• For the U.S. Postal Service, the crumbling economy has proven more troubling than snow, rain, heat or gloom of night.
• Capitalists, please remain calm: Obama Administration has no plans to nationalize any banks.

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President Obama tried again yesterday to get Republican lawmakers’ support for his economic stimulus package. The Republicans seem determined to oppose it. So, Mr. President, we going to do this thing or what? (On a side note: Happy Birthday Mom!)

• A few choice Blago tapes get a public airing.
• Unemployment is up everywhere. Everywhere!

More news after the break.

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Ok, so they aren’t exactly the fireside chats, but Barack Obama’s weekly YouTube message has been a cool way for him to talk directly to the American people. It’s good to see the videos continue now that Obama is the President.

• Obama may be all about the bipartisan spirit, but the Republicans not so much.
• Prison riot outside Orlando!

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You know how I know the next four years are going to be fun? Two words: Joe Biden. Here, Biden knocks John Roberts for flubbing the oath on inauguration day. Obama looks none-too-pleased, by the way. I love it!

• And the new Senator from New York is … not named Kennedy or Cuomo.
• The inauguration quartet featuring Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma faked it live … sort of.

More after the jump … Read the rest of this entry »

Obama’s first day in office was a success. Business was done. Executive Orders were released. A BS church ceremony was attended. I didn’t think about Bush all day. Damn, now I ruined it.

• Caroline Kennedy pulls out of the race to be appointed to Hillary’s old Senate seat.
• Barack Obama is sworn in … again. (Just to be safe.)

Click below for more news.

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They didn’t just love the inauguration in D.C. Here, a crowd in New York’s Times Square watch the festivities on the big screen and gets its cheer on.

• President Barack Hussein Obama.
• Inauguration day as told by Time magazine photographers.

For more news, click the link below. Read the rest of this entry »

To get you geared-up for the big moment, here is an excellent AP short on how far we’ve come “From Emancipation to Inauguration.” Also, be sure to check out our live blogging of the even over on PoHo. Oh, and W.: Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

• Dick Cheney to attend inauguration in a wheel chair. I have no comment.
• Jill Biden reveals to Oprah that Joe had his choice of jobs, VP or Sec. of State. Gulp.

Click below for more news.

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God it feels good. Say a fond farewell with Dick Cheney’s exit interview from this weekend’s Saturday Night Live.

• “Anything is possible in America.”
• The inauguration may be tomorrow, but the “inauguration celebration” is well underway.

Click below for much more news …

• Finally, a ceasefire in Gaza.
• For the media, covering the inauguration is easier said than done.
• Please welcome to Tampa the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals.
• Fox 13’s Russell Rhodes arrested in Channelside.
• The Florida Strawberry Festival has a new queen.
• Paul Blart: Mall Cop opens big at #1.

This video of the improptu rescue of U.S Airways flight 1549 in New York’s Hudson River is just amazing. And the passengers all made it out alive! On that note, have a good weekend everyone.

• The cause of the crash seems to be a flock of birds.
• By the way: The first report of the crash came on Twitter by a guy from Sarasota.

Much more news after the break.

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With Apple CEO Steve Jobs’ announcement that he is taking a medical leave of absence until the end of June, all eyes turn to the electronics giant and its price per share. How will Wall Street react? stay tuned. And get well soon, Steve.

• Is this the end of the line for the military’s controversial policy on gay soldiers?
• America supports Obama’s economic plan, despite no one really knowing what it is.

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As W. continues his farewell tour, here’s one stop not on the actual itinerary.

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

• Obama has dinner at George Will’s house. I bet they talked a lot about baseball.
• Hillary gets grilled at her confirmation hearing.

Lots more news after the jump …

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I caught this 60 Minutes piece on the rise and fall of the price of oil and thought it a good one. Remember, every time they say “supply and demand,” you’re getting screwed.

Watch CBS Videos Online

• Any guesses on what W. will say in his prime time farewell Thursday night? Put them in comments.

Lots of new stuff and a special editorial after the jump. Please check it out.

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