Daily Loaf

On many occasions I can be caught mumbling, “Man, I wish I was a guy.” This is accurate on most accounts. It sucks bleeding every month for days on end. Having a kid come out of your lower body looks pretty shitty. And, general upkeep is far more annoying.

But, when it comes to sex, I am MORE than happy to be a female. Read the rest of this entry »

Life has a way of taking wrong turns when you least expect it. We all face it, sometimes fear it, usually deal with it, and hopefully learn from it. Our lives are intertwined with so many others, we barely know where to draw the lines. And after a particularly large turn, we find ourselves faced with new variables to maneuver, new obstacles to overcome.

Divorce is one of those turns. After many years of marriage, when I found myself single again, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I only knew that anything I wanted to do, I did with myself. Okay, a little lotion and a lot of imagination goes on. Read the rest of this entry »

This isn’t the most original position in the world, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded of the little pleasures… and this is definitely one of them. The woman bends forward while gripping the bedstead, her buttock raised high. The man mounts her from behind then cups her breasts and squeezes them together. Read the rest of this entry »

This position offers a lesson on both love and balance. The man squats on the floor, balancing on only his feet. The woman then straddles him, allowing penetration. The movement is described as a back and forth rocking motion, similar to that of a hammock. There’s also a variation on the movement, where the motion is rather stationary until the woman is ready to orgasm. Read the rest of this entry »

The woman is instructed to stand above the male on some sort of elevated surface, such as a couch, bed, two chairs, Mini Cooper hood, etc. With her legs spread wide, she gradually lowers her torso, so that her “yoni” is within reach of the man, who is standing on the floor just below her. Once the man is inside of her, the two lovers gyrate and pump to their hearts content.

This position commands the use of plenty of hands-on pleasure, such as stroking each others hips and tickling each others magic buttons. His mouth will be in easy reach of her breasts and she will have full control over the amount of stimulation he can offer. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve met enough penises in my time to know that like lollipops, dicks come in all shapes and sizes. The fact is that most dicks are between five to seven inches erect; the real question is, does size matter? Read the rest of this entry »

Damsella beat her fists against Kurby’s rock hard chest. He ignored her struggles as his lips continued plundering her luscious breasts. He lifted her completely into his arms and made his way to the bed dominating his room.

“Please, you must stop!” Damsella gasped.

Her bosom heaved in a mix of fear and passion. She could not help her attraction to this swarthy, lean, tall man with his abundance of muscles and piercing eyes. The things he was doing to her body made it cry out for more of his touch, though she knew that she shouldn’t give in to temptation. Kurby laid her gently onto the bed, then crawled up to straddle her legs. Gripping the sides of her (insert women’s top here) Read the rest of this entry »

Getting into the position: The position is described as both the man and woman lying flat on a surface with their appendages, hands and torso directly overtop of one another’s. Clasping each other’s hands like two starfish making love, the lovers press their chests together and stretch out their thighs and arms while mimicking and complimenting each other’s motions.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? Read the rest of this entry »

Getting into the position: The man rubs his manhood with wasp stings and then massages it with oil as it begins to swell. It is then prescribed that he let it dangle through the bed for 10 nights using a cool ointment to soothe the pain and swelling. After the 10th night, with the bonus of a rather enlarged manhood, he will be ready to make love to his woman.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)?
1

Did you have difficulty getting into the position?
I did not actually do this, but its interesting nature at least deserves an honorary mention.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out Read the rest of this entry »

Maybe she can handle smelly men but I can't

I’ve been taking applications and conducting interviews for my new fuck-buddy now for the past month. Mainly they’ve been short interviews and no one has been called back for a follow-up.  Why waste anymore of my time or bodily fluids on a sub par applicant?  I’m tired of the anticipation, only to be let down.  Don’t men in Florida know how to fuck a woman right?  I’m not asking for a lot.  Only to be bent over and fucked hard.  My hair pulled and my ass slapped.  I want to feel a cock stroking my pussy and making me cum.

Our first encounter was mind blowing.  We left each other satisfied but wanting more.  Before he’d even cum the first time he asked when he could see me again.  His fingers were gentle but left a trail of fire blazing where he touched me.  His kiss was hard and passionate, left my lips red and my body dripping with anticipation. He was a skilled and experienced lover, taking his time, sometimes taking five, just to make sure he made me cum several times before cumming himself.

(Picture to follow; not suitable for work.) Read the rest of this entry »

The McCain campaign really hopes nobody saw Dick Cheney’s endorsement Saturday:

Natilie Portman and Rashida Jones try to get you to vote by laying in a bed and playing with their  … pussycats … Read the rest of this entry »