Daily Loaf

Online surveys are all the rage. CL is even busy running our own for Best of the Bay. Particularly with sex surveys, you can’t help but wonder how accurate the findings are. For the most part, the sample group is composed of the same people who sign up for enter-to-win-contests on pop-up ads or who repost annoying Facebook surveys that describe what A-Team member or Golden Girl you would be.  Still, sex surveys are interesting because they reassure us that we’re not alone in our deviant addictions.

After reviewing several online sex surveys, I’ve included the results of two below. The first is shocking because of how tame it is. The other will make your sex life seem about as adventurous as that of an Amish widow. Read the rest of this entry »

Wanna give the backdoor a try, eh? Good for you. Why not, right? Think of it as a new and exciting addition to your sexual repertoire.

Nervous? So was I, but with years of reading, discussions, and practice under my belt, I’ve gathered a few pointers to ensure that your anal experience will be a positive one. Read the rest of this entry »

Wikipedia describes a marathon as “a long-distance foot race with an official distance of 42,195 kilometers (26 miles, 385 yards, or exactly 26 7/32 miles) that is usually a road race.”
I would describe it as 26.2 miles of sheer determination, dedication, and a touch of insanity.

The author training for Disney during the winter of 2008.

The marathon is not something everyone has on their bucket list. It’s not for everyone. Some people have other goals and aspirations, but for me it always seemed like a really cool thing to do. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would become one of those crazy runner types. You know the ones who get up at the buttcrack of dawn and head out for a 10, 14, 18 or even 20 mile run? You know the ones who run five or six days a week? What exactly makes those people do it?

I started my quest to the marathon in 2008 when I added the words “run a marathon” to my list of things to do before I turned 30. I was 28 at the time, had no “running friends”, no idea of how to train for one, and absolutely the worst case of procrastination known to man. To give you a glimpse of my over all health, I was a typical gym goer. I’d run about three to five miles a few days a week, eat and drink too much on the weekends and come Monday it was all about repentance. I wasn’t really out of shape, but I wasn’t even ready for a 10K, let alone a marathon.

I registered for the 2009 Walt Disney World Marathon about a year before. I began serious training about 8 weeks out (NOTE: Terrible idea). See? My procrastination knows no bounds. Luckily, I found a running group in Brandon and they helped me along. They also told me I was nuts and shouldn’t do a marathon on such little training. Being a stubborn person, I did it anyway.

My longest run before Disney was 18 miles. It was not enough. I made it to mile 18 of the Disney Marathon and felt my entire body start fighting against me. By mile 20 I was run-walking. By mile 21 I was run-walking-cursing. By mile 22 I thought I had lost my mind because my legs hurt so badly. By miles 23 and 24 I wanted to quit. Sheer determination and stubbornness kept me going. I almost flipped the bird to a spectator who cheered to me, “You’re almost there!”, at mile 25. The last 1.2 miles were brutal, both mentally and physically. I kept thinking, “well you can scratch this off the list and never do it again.”

But then something happened. Read the rest of this entry »

Getting into position: The woman draws her knees up while the man positions himself over her. Trapping her thighs in what is described as a “tight knot,” he saddles her and rides her buttocks all the way to orgasmville!

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position? 8

Did you have difficulty getting into the position? Slight difficulty. You will have to play with this one a bit to understand exactly what “tight knot” means. I’m not even sure we got it completely right … but if what I did was wrong, I don’t want to be right! Read the rest of this entry »

His nerves danced like flames.  “Where was she?” he thought.  It had been quite a few minutes since she excused herself to the bathroom to put some clothes on before they….well before they whatever.  He had no idea what to expect and questioned himself whether he was dong the right thing at all. “What the hell are you afraid of?” he kept repeating in his head, not that his brain was listening.  He almost stood up and slipped out quietly into the night, but the thought of being rude quelled his innocent anxiety.  All at once his racing thoughts were suddenly cut silent as the bathroom door finally opened.

Read the rest of this entry »

My cat, Morpheus, is a molester and it’s my fault, well mine and my ex-boyfriends.   Ever since my ex and I broke up, Morpheus has been humping my butt! 

I’ve woken up the past couple of mornings to a blaring alarm clock and this strange feeling on my ass, only to look back and see him kneading and humping it through the covers.  He’s fixed so it’s kind of disturbing.  All I can think is that CSI is going to come into my bedroom and find cat sperm all over my comforter and I’ll be labeled a cat fucker!! I swear it freaks me out.

I really think the problem is that my cat is stressed out because my boyfriend and I broke up and now he’s some sort of cat sexaholic, humping my ass to relieve stress or alleviate tension. Not only is the breakup hard on the ex and me, it’s also freaking out my cat.  I know that animals pick up on human emotions but did my sweet innocent kitty, pick up on the change in emotions after my ex and I had sex?  Read the rest of this entry »