Daily Loaf

“Dream Momma, I had dream while I was away from my family studying in Norway, I was at my brother’s house up where it was behind the hospital. My brother and I were watching TV, and these people came to the door. Just as there are people who stop you when you are in your car and start washing your windows and then demand money, these people, like young kids, various ages, came to the door and started doing lawn care and landscaping. I knew they were going to charge us for it afterwards, and I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. They were immigrants, so I started yelling gibberish at them so they would stop. They got mad because they knew I was making fun of their English skills, but they got back into their big van/suburban, and drove off. As I sat back on the sofa, I saw a flash from the car, and I knew they had shot a gun, and I felt the hot metal entering my skull. As I collapsed, I told my brother, tell mom and dad I love them. So mellow dramatic. then I woke up.” (sic)

This dream is about a split psyche based on the guilt you feel for leaving your family. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has a secret.  Some may be juicy while others may be plain Jane, but simply put, everyone has something that no one else knows.

If you are reading my blogs you know a few of my secrets.   I blog mainly about my open marriage, my body, and my sex life. This isn’t really a secret to you, but the general population (i.e. most people close to me have no clue I do this).  It’s a big secret to me and I absolutely love having it. Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, I am a 45-year-old, married, black female professional living in Tampa. I have been having an online “affair,” if you will call it that, for 3 years with a white man. My husband, who is also a professional, travels a lot with his job. I have met my online lover, and although we have shared embraces, we have not shared a bed.

This dream begins with me on my bed and my husband in the sitting room that is off our bedroom. There is a curtain there, so I cannot actually see him but I hear him as he moves about. He is watching TV. My lover enters my bedroom wearing just a long tee shirt and crawls onto the bed with me. I am not surprised to see him; it is as if he does this often. He snuggles up behind me and is very amorous. I am watching the crack in the curtain. I suggest that we go to another room.

We go the bathroom that is just beyond my laundry room. There is a cot set up for him. He apparently stays here often. But the washer has been moved into the bathroom and I am concerned that my husband will come into this room to tend to the washer. So I am emptying the washer and taking clothes from the toilet(?) that appear to be clean. I am trying frantically to stay ahead of my husband in thought.

I hear him come into the laundry room and he is doing something with the dryer. My lover is starting to say something and I am signaling him not to talk but he continues to whisper. My husband is close enough that I could touch him if there were no wall and I am almost crazed that I can’t seem to make my lover understand that he should not talk AT ALL.

He finally makes me understand that he has left his belt out in the house somewhere. He thinks maybe my bedroom, and he is not sure where his pants are. My head is about spin off as I try to imagine where he might have left his things and if I can get to them before my husband sees them – as they are not the same body types and do not share a sense of style. Help me understand this dream please.” (sic)

Dream Momma will try. The first thing that is of significance is the fact that whenever your husband appears in the dream there is something concrete between you (a curtain, a wall). That is important. It means there IS something between you in real, waking, life that is interfering with marital intimacy (and Dream Momma doesn’t mean just sex). Read the rest of this entry »

All swingers have their own rules. Rules are what make swinging doable (pun intended).  Soccer Dad and I have gone somewhat past the basic swinger lifestyle and have dabbled a bit in an open marriage.  You might wonder how this is different.  We are having sex with others, isn’t that open?  It’s actually not.  Typically swingers share their experiences together.  That might mean sharing one bed with another couple and swapping, or having drinks and dinner with a couple and then following up with sex in the same room.  Sometimes couples, myself included, venture to separate rooms for sex. So, where do solo events fit into these scenarios? Read the rest of this entry »

“Dream Momma, I dreamed I was pregnant (which in real life I am) and that my husbands best friend entered my room and started kissing my neck and I was going along with it. He then took off my clothes and his own clothes and showed me his big penis. I then told him to put on a condom because in my dream I was still aware I was pregnant. So we had sex (missionary style), which is not recommended to do while pregnant, but in my dream I let him because he wasn’t putting any pressure on my stomach like in real life my husband does. So while we were having sex, all I was thinking about was how I had just took my revenge that I was plotting against my husband and put it to action. We then finished and even though I did it to get back at my husband I begged him not to tell him. Still in my dream but later on that day we were all at the house and my husbands best friend was also there, but I felt so guilty. Even though I felt guilty I still wanted to do it again.” (sic)

Yikes, this is not good. Dream Momma wants to know why the hell you ever agreed to get pregnant? Or did you? Read the rest of this entry »

Living the swinger lifestyle offers the opportunity of having sex with many different strangers.  I don’t really know all of the people I have sex with, but normally I have talked and spent some time with them before engaging in any sexual play.  But, even with this excitement I still fantasize about riskier sex scenarios.

In the dressing room/closet: I have always wanted to have sex in a department store dressing room or a random storage closet with a total stranger.  The thought of meeting a beautiful stranger and having erotic sex after locking eyes gets me hot and bothered.  This must be a fantasy many of you have too. Read the rest of this entry »

As I was driving to work Monday, Fisher and Boy from the 97X morning show played a creepy voicemail from a dude attempting to get a date.  The bit was about a woman who was approached by a  guy who asked her out. She wasn’t interested and was only able to get rid of him by giving him her business card.  Probably a dumb move, but I sympathize. The guy called her two times leaving two very long, creepy messages.  Some men just can’t imagine why any female wouldn’t want to date or sleep with them. This made me consider all the creepy ways men have tried to weasel their way into my life, or at least my vagina. Read the rest of this entry »

Who has sex with strangers?  I think the answer is most of you. Whether you are a swinger, single person, or a perpetual cheater, it’s likely you’ve had sex with someone you consider a stranger.  So why do so many people think the swinging lifestyle is so strange — we too have sex with strangers, but at least we’re honest about it. Read the rest of this entry »

Online surveys are all the rage. CL is even busy running our own for Best of the Bay. Particularly with sex surveys, you can’t help but wonder how accurate the findings are. For the most part, the sample group is composed of the same people who sign up for enter-to-win-contests on pop-up ads or who repost annoying Facebook surveys that describe what A-Team member or Golden Girl you would be.  Still, sex surveys are interesting because they reassure us that we’re not alone in our deviant addictions.

After reviewing several online sex surveys, I’ve included the results of two below. The first is shocking because of how tame it is. The other will make your sex life seem about as adventurous as that of an Amish widow. Read the rest of this entry »

William Taylor of Centreville, VA is not happy. Much to the amusement of commuters, he stood at the corner of a bustling intersection for the past two mornings, telling the world he is a cheater.

After Taylor’s wife found incriminating photos on his cell phone, she came up with an unusual punishment for her philandering husband. She specified that, during morning rush hour, he must stand at a busy D.C. area intersection wearing an “I cheated” sandwich board… for a week. Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s get one thing straight.  Every woman should be treated like a princess. Women need to be handled with care and respect. Speak to them honestly and avoid trying to be something you are not; we see right through that. Here are some simple pointers for men who are a bit lost when it comes to women–especially those men who don’t realize they’re lost.

The guys who don’t talk about their dicks, chicks, sexual achievements, or money are the ones who have it, do it, and can use it. Read the rest of this entry »

When jealousy rears its ugly head during sex, nothing good will come of it.  People enter the swinging lifestyle for different reasons.  Unfortunately some believe swinging will save their marriage.  Such a desperate move usually only promotes jealousy–a surefire relationship killer. Read the rest of this entry »

I just noticed that I have a bruise on my breast.  Does this mean the sex was really good or really bad? That all depends on what you like in bed. For me, my weekend sex, bruises and all, was pretty damn good.

Soccer Dad and I walked into the second bar of the night on our ‘date’ with a hot younger couple.

“You don’t have to liquor me up,” I said to my potential sex partner. “I’m a sure thing,”

Everyone laughed, but the fact remained that we were there to get comfortable with each other before having sex with virtual strangers. This is the basis of the swinging lifestyle after all. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve schooled you in what constitutes an affair. I’ve listed the rules of having an affair and where to look for a discrete hook-up.  Now I’ll tell you how to save money in your search for that NSA(no strings attached) fuck.

Ashleymadison is a website revered for finding discrete hook-ups. Currently the site is running a promotion that puts a spin on the government program, Cash for Clunkers. Their promotion, Cash for Chunkers, saying, “is being married to a chunker weighing you down?” Read the rest of this entry »

Not every marriage is open to multiple sexual partners like mine, but the overwhelming desire to fuck someone other than your spouse is as common as arguments over whose turn it is to take out the trash. The difference between cheaters and those stuck in 10+ year marriages with infrequent sex and constant nagging, is that cheaters act on these desires. The problem is that cheating doesn’t come natural for most of us. So, if you aren’t the stud fucking the office hottie in the bathroom, or the femme fatale hooking up with random douche bags you flash peace sign at on the highway, here are a few guidelines for dabbling in the dark art of extramarital affairs. Read the rest of this entry »

Swingers are often stereotyped as having lascivious affairs, but depending on what you consider cheating, almost everyone is having some type of affair.

For me, an affair isn’t necessarily a physical relationship; it can be an emotional connection as well.  Depending on who you are, either connection can constitute an affair.

By this definition I have both emotional and physical affairs.  I’m not in love with these people; some are friends that I share a side of myself with that I don’t share with everyone. Others I just have sex with and don’t care if I ever see again. Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage counselor, M. Gary Neuman, polled more than 200 cheating and faithful husbands about fidelity for his book, The Truth About Cheating. Below are some of his surprising findings. Read the rest of this entry »

 Some people think it’s impossible to cheat in a polyamory relationship, but it doesn’t work that way. The following are four rules that my boyfriend, The Puppy, and I have:

1) No starting a new relationship without telling your partner.

Deciding to have an open, poly, or otherwise non-monogamous relationship doesn’t automatically give you the green light to screw anything that catches your  fancy. For one thing, you may be thinking that you’re fine  with a V (Sally and Susan are dating Timmy, but not each  other) or a triad (Susan, Sally, and Timmy date each other) relationship. Your partner may want a closed triad (Susan, Sally, and Timmy date only each other- also a form of poly fidelity). Or maybe you were expecting to have a hierarchical relationship where your starting partner would be your primary, while any new person would be secondary. Little things like this should be talked over before either party brings home someone new. Even if the talk is skipped, your starting partner should be aware that you have added someone new to the relationship. Bottom line: If you’re dating someone behind your partner(s)’s back, it is cheating. No if, ands, or hoo-haws about it. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever dated someone who is much more into you? Or, have you been the person who has to tell yourself to stop obsessively calling your potential love interest? The ebb and flow of hormones in our bodies can make this situation infinitely more complex.

After four years in a relationship, friends tell me they still face this dilemma. “Sometimes I like him more… then sometimes he is way too into me.”

The book Marriage in Motion , by Richard Stanton Schwartz and Jacqueline Olds, discusses the problems of actual couples to illustrate the perpetual motion of relationships: “Relationships are always in motion. Shifting feelings of closeness are an aspect of their essential nature, not a demonstration of an indi­vidual’s character flaws.” Read the rest of this entry »

The Tampa Tribune’s Martin Fennelly thinks he should, and he says so in a front-page story today with the headline, “Bobby, It’s Time To Do The Right Thing.”

The reason, of course, is that FSU’s athletics department, which Bowden’s football teams have covered with glory, is now covered in, well, shit. Because a bunch of athletes allegedly cheated on, among other things, online music quizzes. They had to cheat on online music quizzes? Sheesh.

Here’s Fennelly’s opening salvo:

It’s time.
It’s time for Bobby Bowden, who is Florida State athletics, to do a far, far better thing, which is saying something given all he has given FSU, college football and plain folk everywhere.
It’s time to go.
I take no pleasure in saying that. None.
But the other shoe has dropped. The NCAA shoe. And it’s steel-toed.

Fennelly goes on like that, pretty steel-toed himself. (I like that about Martin Fennelly.)

What do you think? And why should we care?