Daily Loaf

“Well, I’ll start of with the basics you’ll need to know to understand how this is so confusing to me. All my life i’ve constantly been told by girls “i only like you as a friend” There this girl in real life who i really like, but we’re just friends, best friends to be exact, and i’m totally fine with that. In fact, i am great with it because relationships often die out but friendships don’t. She is in my dreams almost every night, but last night, “she was in my dream but only in the background a couple of times and we spoke a little bit. The strangest part is now, there was this girl in my dream (who i don’t know in real life, she was obviously made up in my dreamland) who is completely not my type in looks and personality. But for some reason i started to like her, a lot, and just as i was getting the courage up to ask her on a date, she makes it very clear that we’re just friends. Not only that, but one of my childhood friends who i am still currently friends with also liked her but she also only liked him as a friend too, but i was willing to go behind his back to go on a date with the girl who we both liked (and i wouldn’t do that in real life, i’m not that kind of guy)” (sic)

Dream Momma likes this dream because it is such a good example of the sexual shadow at work. Read the rest of this entry »

Time for a little comic relief after a long ass day of menial work.  A co-worker sent me one of those emails with a lame Mastercard priceless picture joke attached to it.  Like I give two shits about a kitten on a ledge!  It got me thinking about the extremely hilarious and shocking ones I’ve seen.  The world wide web is a marvelous thing! I decided to share my top picks for the Mastercard “priceless” jokes and of course they have to do with sex! (Unfortunately I had to censor the top two because they showed a little too much, even for Creative Loafing, so here are my top 6).

1)  I can’t even imagine the stuff you could catch!  OMG Read the rest of this entry »

It’s a simple progression: strangers, friends, sex partners. We went out the other night to meet a new couple (the Smiths) whom we met on a swingers dating website. The selection process on this type of website is similar to other online regular dating services. Couples or singles complete a profile, provide pictures, and commence browsing.

After exchanging a few emails, we set a date. So Friday night we meet at a local restaurant. As on most of our swinger dates, small talk turns to stories, which inevitably gets the energy flowing. Most the stories told are of bad experiences; like the time we met a couple at a local restaurant and the woman shows up in leopard print spandex pants and stripper shoes, that just screams out “We are SWINGERS!” We are at a family restaurant people - not a bar; let’s try to keep the attire normal, please. Anyway, small talk lightens the mood and helps the conversation move with virtual strangers and potential sex partners. Entertainment aside, the decision has been made to go to a local bar for a few drinks. Drinks tend to further loosen everyone up a bit and soon the conversations turn to flirting, kissing and borderline inappropriate behavior in public.
Read the rest of this entry »

Love isn’t the most sensible of emotions. I’d go so far as to say that love is the mentally handicapped cousin of reason. There’s just something about being in a relationship that causes you to ask stupid  questions you don’t want to know the answers to.

“Were you thinking of Mathew McConaughey the last time we had sex?”

“How big is my junk compared to the other guys you’ve been with?”

“Have I put on weight?” Read the rest of this entry »

I had to devote an entire blog to this subject.  Thanks Ernie for your comments and questions that prompted this response on my last blog “How Young is Too Young.“

The example of Dick using his giant penis to get women to take care of him and how I could be sure he wasn’t, is because he has his own job, home, vehicle and he’s not depending on his girlfriend to do this for him, unlike Harry.  It was more of a reference to Dick’s manhood than his actual penis.   For clarification Harry had the giant penis and no he wasn’t the first under 21 year old male I’ve had hot sex with.  Nor to be the last.

Since when do women love big penises?  Does the beginning of time count? Since when do women hate big penises?  Does the beginning of time count?  It all depends on the woman. Yes, some above average penises can make a woman experience discomfort, but if properly excited, penis size really isn’t an issue.   When women get sexually aroused they go through a process called “tenting” where the vagina expands an inch in length and doubles its width, this along with vagina “sweating” the moistening of the vaginal walls, prepares women to take on that above average penis with ease and comfort. Read the rest of this entry »