Daily Loaf

I had so much fun in Key West for Fantasy Fest it should be illegal (though I’m sure some of it was, or very damn close).  The boat ride on the Key West Express was well worth it. We got there in a fraction of the time and my friend Melissa and I got a head start on the festivities by sucking down White Russians and talking to Fantasy Fest veterans and fellow virgins. My favorite old pros were Bob and Rita who gave us a heads up on the freaky crazy fun of swinger groups who meet in Key West just to have sex with one another and go to kink parties. We quickly realized how true their anecdote was when we stepped off the boat and were promptly offered a free room by some NYC cops. Unfortunately they were a bit vague as to the terms of their offer.

The best word to describe what I saw in Key West is WOW!! I knew I was going to see some weird shit at Fantasy Fest but no amount of preparation or pictures can ready a person for the real thing: a celebration of parades, naked people, drunken stupors, and casual sex. Read the rest of this entry »

I have a gift. I can talk dirty to men and the occasional woman and not feel ashamed or dirty. That’s pretty fucking cool considering most women can’t even tell their husbands to give them some dick while alone in bed together. Most people look at being a phone sex operator as a dirty job for skanks and hookers, but I’m neither. I have a Bachelors’ Degree in Communication.  During the day I took Interpersonal Communication and at night I practiced Personal Communication. So, for all you ladies, who want to talk dirty, but just don’ t know where to begin, here are some pointers. Read the rest of this entry »

We all know someone who thinks of himself as a “bad boy,” the kind of guy who claims he can “mack” on any “hooze bag” in a bar. The name “bad boy” is slightly misleading. When I think of bad, I think of UFC fighters or extreme athletes. For the most part, “bad boys” are more of the poser, douche bag variety–the kind of guys who wear trendy clothes featuring the brands of UFC fighters or extreme sports. Douches tend to be ultra conformists who follow trends, are hyper narcissistic, and are completely self centered dick weeds. These are the dudes I spent my high school years hating, and my college years trying to take a few tips from. Despite what you think about douches, they seemingly feast on an endless buffet of one-night-stands. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes you’re looking for love, but sometimes you just want to find someone on the internet who can be your personal Oprah. To fulfill this fetish, I again turned to Craigslist. Below is my original post followed by my favorite responses. (All names and personal info have been changed to protect the weird)

tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Skinny White Guy looking for his Oprah – m4w – 23 Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve met enough penises in my time to know that like lollipops, dicks come in all shapes and sizes. The fact is that most dicks are between five to seven inches erect; the real question is, does size matter? Read the rest of this entry »

1. You can tell if a man is gay based on the size of his fingers.

-See Digital Ratio Theory in psychologytoday.com, which can accurately predict the levels of testosterone and estrogen you were subjected to as a child based on the length of your ring and index fingers. [Editor's Note: Read the article carefully; it does not confirm that the legend about finger size and sexual orientation is "true." Note the concluding paragraph: "'You have to be careful,' he says. 'You can't look at someone's fingers and make a determination about whether they are heterosexual or lesbian, just as you can't decide whether they're neurotic. The [sexuality indicators] are most certainly there, but they’re not strong enough to allow us to make predictions.’”]

Read the rest of this entry »

For more news and reviews of the summer’s biggest movies, check out the CL Movies & Television site.

I’ve never been smacked in the face with a dick, but I imagine the experience is a lot like watching Brüno. The first 15 minutes of the movie is a penis shock-and-awe campaign, with a pink bunny-costume dick, a dick on the end of a stick and a talking dick that shouts “Brüno!” out of its peehole. That’s in addition to the many items — dicks, dildos, champagne bottles, etc. — going in and out of assholes obscured only by a little black dot. If there is one word to describe Brüno, it’s Cocktastic.

(Listen to Joe and Joran break down the movie in this week’s Reel Projections podcast after the jump)

Read the rest of this entry »

That was one question I asked myself after an incident a few years ago. I met a man in his mid 30s at a bar in South Tampa. He was a well-dressed Italian man with a nice athletic build. We exchanged numbers and that was that. I left the bar and forgot about even giving my number away.

The following week I get a text asking to hang out. I figured what the hell, I’m the adventurous type — why not see what happens. I was a little bit horny anyway, but figured I could probably control myself.

I get over to his place, played with his cute little dog, watched some baseball, and sipped a cran and vodka. We both got a few drinks in us.

Read below the jump for the rest [probably NSFW]:

Read the rest of this entry »