Daily Loaf

Lookin' good at midnight.

It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that I met my first, honest-to-God(dess?), self-declared feminist.

Now, by no means had I lived a particularly sheltered life. I grew up with Showtime and HBO. My step-dad did (and does) tattoos for a living, so a man named Pig used to babysit me. (When Greasy Jack was busy.) My mom was a hippie, and one day I’ll actually tell my children that she backpacked from Ohio to California. And my dad’s favorite joke was yelling, “Hey! Emersom!” at Baywatch (ah, ’90s) or any woman at Toys R Us.  He never remarried.

(If you’re unfamiliar with emersom, e-mail me and I’ll fill you in. I don’t know if you’re old enough.)

So, sheltered I was not. Still, feminists were not a part of my life — unless you count Pig’s Ol’ Lady, who may have burned a bra had she ever worn one.

But back to my sophomore year. Like most young lads of 16 or 17, I was often found discussing The Little Mermaid. More specifically, whether or not it was a better movie than Beauty and the Beast — which it is, slightly, but that’s another story entirely.

My journalism teacher, later mentor, nemesis and friend (of sorts), informed me that the movie was horrible.

Ariel? The Little Mermaid? My mermaid, horrible? Read the rest of this entry »

The visitors have returned to Earth, and this time they’re bringing more intrigue and drama to prime-time TV. V is a science fiction reboot that debuted this week on ABC after a load of publicity and excitement. The original was a major event over on NBC during the ‘80s, and the mouse house’s flagship network is hoping for similar results with this update. The premiere episode landed Tuesday night, but did it live up to the hype?

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Routes Music is a documentary film acting as a roving music census, taking in the true musical passions (and disgusts) of the American people. We’re traveling all across the country, stopping along the way to interview local bands, take footage of live performances and chat with anyone and everyone. Learn more about the documentary here; check out all previous entries here.

Five things you should never forget on a cross-country music documentary tour:

1.  Granola bars
2. Phone charger
3. TV theme song CDs
4. Stun gun sold by a shifty young man on the street
5. A wild and open mind

The last was crucial as our Routes Music crew (Phil, Alex and Terrence — known collectively as P.A.T.) rolled into Orlando on the first day of the tour.

Weary and hungry from a two-hour drive down I-4, we pulled our 2009 Toyota Sienna (known as the “Big Gray Box) into “the world’s largest entertainment McDonald’s.” We grabbed some burgers and were making out way out when Terrence heard an announcer in the far room. Turning the corner, he spotted a stage featuring five Latino teens, ages ranging from 11 to 18. Terrence called us over. “You guys have to see this.” At that moment, the band broke into synchronized dancing over a drum track. Microphones appeared. The performance began. The Los Mega Boyz, a Latino boy band in the vein of the Backstreet Boys and N-Sync, crooned their way around Ronald McDonald murals and teenagers munching on cheeseburgers. They sang saucy numbers about girls and ballads about Selena.

We’d stumbled upon the most bizarre McDonald’s ever. (Video after the jump.) Read the rest of this entry »

The only Disney franchise with a sequel good enough to get a theatrical releases is back, but should we care? The Toy Story 3-D Double Feature (TS3D) costs almost twice as much as a normal movie. 3-D movies have traditionally been a little blurry on screen, and those big goofy glasses can make your head throb. Plus, everyone saw Toy Story and Toy Story 2 years ago when they first came out (though they are now in “The Disney Vault,” and not the easiest movies to get a hold of).  You may also be wondering if Pixar’s early work still looks good over a decade later, given how far computer animation has come in the time since Toy Story’s release? So it’s not worth it? This 3-D double feature is a total rip-off, right?

WRONG! The Toy Story 3-D extravaganza is totally worth every penny!

Read the rest of this entry »

Buzz, Woody and the gang are back.  Yes, the toys are back in town. The Disney/Pixar juggernaut hits theaters June 18, 2010 and the first theatrical trailer hit the Web today. Click the teaser poster below to check it out.

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A helping of music links to get you through the weekend.

• Despite Thom Yorke’s ongoing solo project, Radiohead guitarist Ed O’Brien says the band will be releasing a physical album sometime next year. I don’t care if you give me something online or on vinyl — just keep on playing, Radiohead.
• Amy Winehouse is “hopefully” going to be releasing an album in 2010, according to Island Records co-president Darcus Beese. She’ll also “hopefully” be sober next year. And “hopefully” eat a cookie or two. And “hopefully” wash her hair.
• Ozzy Osbourne promises to answer fan questions in an upcoming issue of Uncut magazine, and inquiries are now being accepted online. Whether or not anyone will be able to understand the answers he supplies remains to be seen.
• Method Man was arrested for tax evasion in New York and now faces four years in prison. Dude, didn’t you learn anything about the legal system from your days on The Wire?
• French electronic musician Alan Braxe has re-mixed Beyonce’s new single, “Broken-Hearted Girl.” It doesn’t matter how good it is, Braxe: Kanye’s comin’ after you.
• The Pixies are releasing limited-edition CDs and digital downloads from their current tour, where they’re playing Doolittle in its entirety. Even the indie rock crowd is jumping on the digital bandwagon. Are you taking note, Killers?
• If you can’t wait for Beck to release a new album, listening to Charlotte Gainsbourg’s IRM ought to curb your appetite.  Beck wrote the album’s music, co-wrote the lyrics, produced and mixed it, but it’s still Gainsbourg’s record. Really.
• Soulja Boy was arrested in Georgia for obstruction after telling police officers that people gathered at an abandoned home were there shooting a music video.  This is seriously the uncoolest thing a rapper has ever been arrested for. Read the rest of this entry »

(Check here for more on the food and wine pairings at the EPCOT International Food & Wine Festival.)

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to indulge in Disney’s International Food & Wine Festival at EPCOT Center. This marks the 14th year of an event that promises the chance to eat and drink your way around the world without ever having to break out your passport.

After attending this event for the past few years, I was pleasantly surprised to see that a majority of the regional menus had changed (after being exactly the same for the past few go-arounds) and that they’d added a few new cuisines, now up to 25 different international marketplaces. There were also more culinary classes and wine tastings to attend this year, many involving well-known food and wine celebrities like Iron Chef Cat Cora (who has a new restaurant, Kouzzina, that just opened at Disney’s Boardwalk), Andrew Zimmern (host of Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel), the Deen Brothers (yes, Paula’s boys) and lying TV chef Robert Irvine.
Read the rest of this entry »

*The Duggars are expecting their 19th child. If you do not know who they are, I want you to imagine Jon and Kate + 8 - The Douche + 11 x a whole lot of morals and a stance against birth control. Got it?  Good. In all seriousness, though, that woman’s uterus should be removed and ceremoniously burned. No one should have that many kids, not Albert Einstein, not Stephen Hawking, not Mother Teresa and most definitely not anyone named Jim Bob.**

*Disney acquired Marvel comics this week.  In a related story, Spiderman will now don a pair of 4-fingered white gloves.

*One of the best and most totally realistic medical dramas of all time is returning this fall and apparently Christina and Dr. McArmy (aka Owen) are going to work things out. Am I the only one who ISN’T stoked for this pairing?! If we have learned anything from this show, and we have learned a lot, it is that people who fall in love with main characters go crazy, die or get removed from the cast for being homophobic. Christina cannot handle that type of heartache and frankly, neither can I.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Hulk smashes. The Thing clobbers. Spider-Man swings. Cinderella… sings.

I remember thinking Spider-Man on Broadway was shocking. Okay, it still is, but no Marvel fan could have foreseen the news that broke August 31, 2009: Marvel Comics has been purchased by Disney for $4 billion.

Art by Nick Yakimovich.

Read that sentence again. Marvel, the company responsible for films (via multiple licensing deals) like X-Men, Spider-Man, Iron Man and upcoming projects like Captain America, Thor and The Avengers has been purchased.

Purchased by Disney, the company responsible for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and upcoming projects like The Princess and the Frog.

According to Disney CEO Robert Iger, Marvel’s multiple licensing deals (including its relationship with Paramount to distribute its films via Marvel Studios) will be honored as “the right thing from a legal perspective.”

But again: Marvel, publisher of comics for 70 years, has been purchased by Disney, creator of Snow White. (I hate her.) Read the rest of this entry »

Dwayne (formerly “The Rock”) Johnson and director Andy Fickman are the talent behind Race To Witch Mountain, an action-packed family film based on the 1968 Alexander Key novel and its later Disney incarnations. Johnson and Fickman previously worked together on 2007’s The Game Plan. How does the pair do the second time around?

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Dear Diva,

I have a BIG problem. I am costuming a production of Pinocchio and the actor playing Geppetto is quite “well-upholstered.” He told me he wears a size 50 pants, however I think his nose is growing! When I took his measurements, he actually has a 58” waist and 55” hips. How do I construct a pair of pants that don’t make him look like an oompa loompa?

Signed,
Costumer-at-Large Read the rest of this entry »

[Ed. note: Each week I'll be breaking down the big summer blockbuster movie releases. If you're curious about what's coming out in future weeks, be sure to check out the Summer Movie Preview. And for all things film, please check out our movie site.]

FRIDAY, MAY 29TH
Box office gold: Up
Worth seeing? You’re going to skip Pixar’s follow-up to WALL-E? The plot is simple: An old coot ties thousands of brilliantly animated balloons to his house, and takes off for adventure with a stow-away boy scout on board. The directors — Pete Docter, the director of Monsters, Inc., and Bob Peterson, the writer of Finding Nemo — are two Pixar vets who could pull this off in their sleep. To top it off, Up has already passed the snooty French smell test by being selected to open the Cannes Film Festival, the first time an animated film has enjoyed the time slot. Up should finish in the top three at the summer box office.
Counter-programming: Up’s brand of cute and cuddly Disney fun isn’t your bag? Check out Drag Me to Hell instead. Sam Raimi (Spider-Man) returns to his horror-movie roots with this tale of a loan officer (Alison Lohman) who is seriously cursed after she forecloses on old lady with a creepy eye to impress her boss. A warning to those hoping Hell matches the low-fi brilliance of Raimi’s Evil Dead movies: The preview is as glossy as it gets.

Previews after the jump …

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m on an Earth Day guilt trip. Why does all the celebrating have to be outside? Oh, right, we’re celebrating nature, so it’s either itchy eyes and a pounding head or the questioning from my friends, “Say Lisa, little Ms. Green, we didn’t see you over the weekend at that Earth fest.” Hold on! Earth day isn’t until Wednesday, there’s still time for redemption! Teensygreen, a great website for green moms and dads- is where I learned of my plan for salvation,  Mr. Mouse and your nature film buddies, I owe you.

Disneynature’s Earth is being released on you guessed it, Earth Day, April 22nd. You know that mouse, he’s a PR hot shot. The best part (I’m looking at this as a double win) is relieving Earth Day guilt and doing my part to stimulate the economy, and Disney will plant a tree for every ticket sold opening week- bonus points!  Read the rest of this entry »

You may not know the name Marilyn Chambers, but you have undoubtedly benefited from her influence. Chambers was cast in the ground breaking 70s X-rated film, Behind the Green Door, in which she was shown breaking a racial taboo, by having sex with a black actor named Johnny Keyes. While Disney will never make a movie about how Chambers broke this racial divide, exposing the world to interracial sex probably did as much as Jackie Robinson did for civil rights and equality. If you’re still not impressed, Chambers was one of the first X-rated actresses to shave her pubic hair, undoubtedly paving the way for the trimmed look we are accustomed with today.

The ‘Behind the Green Door’ actress was found unconscious at her Canyon Country home Sunday night, authorities said. She was named one of the top 10 adult film stars of all time by Adult Video News.

Marilyn Chambers, the legendary adult movie queen who was the wholesome model on Ivory Snow detergent boxes in the early 1970s when she made her adult movie debut in the X-rated classic “Behind the Green Door,” has died. She was 56.

(Photos below break NSFW) Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, Japan has been stamping Disney logos onto eggs for years, but it’s a relatively new phenomena here in the states. Truth is, this is a simple marketing ploy by an egg manufacturing company, who paid a premium to Disney for the rights to emblazon its packages with Disney stuff. No big deal.

What we need is Disney to get in the game from the ground up, genetically engineering produce in the shapes of Nemo or Scrooge McDuck. They can do it from EPCOT’s The Land, which may save that park from being a total waste of time.

Check after the break for video of the eggs, in all their inked glory (I love how the commercial implies that the eggs automagically end up in the shape of Mickey’s head): Read the rest of this entry »