Daily Loaf

“Dream Momma, I am starting to dream about you! In my dream I was going to a place, near a lake, to receive three awards.  You were there.  I asked you if you were waiting for me and you replied you were.  I went to pick up the three awards but the only one that I was interested in was broken. A silver strip had come undone and the prize was missing parts of it.  It was in the shape of a shadowbox filled with jet-black small stones, like aquarium gravel.  In the middle of the shadowbox were two dark female figures highlighted in silver.  Some of the stones had leaked out the back of the prize and I was upset by that.   Suddenly I had a Milky Way candy bar and a red leather purse in my hand.  I accidentally dropped them as I was approaching you and had trouble picking them up.  You said let’s eat here by the water. The place seemed like it was in a foreign land but we both agreed it was not.  I had this dream early in the morning after I read last week that you were presenting at the Positive Aging Conference.” (sic)

Dream Momma is flattered that she has entered your unconscious as a symbol of sorts.  Read the rest of this entry »

Living the swinger lifestyle offers the opportunity of having sex with many different strangers.  I don’t really know all of the people I have sex with, but normally I have talked and spent some time with them before engaging in any sexual play.  But, even with this excitement I still fantasize about riskier sex scenarios.

In the dressing room/closet: I have always wanted to have sex in a department store dressing room or a random storage closet with a total stranger.  The thought of meeting a beautiful stranger and having erotic sex after locking eyes gets me hot and bothered.  This must be a fantasy many of you have too. Read the rest of this entry »

As I float around my pool today, naked of course, I fantasize about things I’d like to do naked.  Some of these things may be risky and others just goofy, but all fun.

Besides jumping in the pool naked, I’ve walked around a private club naked, attended a swingers party naked, and I’ve actually danced on a stripper pole a time or two naked. But I still fantasize about a few other things i could do in my birthday suit. Read the rest of this entry »

Stryker Vawn, the XXX fetish tag-team from Austin, Texas, will perform for an intimate crowd at the VIP Dungeon Show, Saturday Sept. 26. The leather clad Stryker and perpetually topless Vawn, took a break from whipping and prodding each other on stage to bare it all to CL.

-How would you describe a Stryker Vawn performance?

2 parts burlesque, finely chopped

1 part Vaudeville, peeled and pressed

6 parts perversion, stewed in sex butter

3 parts fantasy, drizzled with honey

1 part fury, ground coarsely

Mix contents vigorously in your mind until creamy thick.

-Do relatives know about your alter egos?

YES. When we first started, there was always a family member in the audience. They think we are weird but accept us for doing what we enjoy.

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Hey guys, guess what? Women masturbate too.

It seems that lately anytime I’m with a group of friends and the topic of masturbation and methodologies is broached, voices become hushed, giggles escape with each breath, and the clitoris of every nearby woman seems to perk up and listen.

Why is it that for CENTURIES men have openly discussed, “choking the chicken,” “spanking the monkey,” or “jerkin’ the gerkin” (for the brits), while women are meant to blush and run anytime such a devilish act is mentioned. Read the rest of this entry »

Who could forget Megan Fox’s 37-episode tenure opposite Kelly Ripa in Hope & Faith? Or her portrayal of a rich teenager in 2004’s Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen?

Everyone.

But ever since Michael Bay and Hollywood transformed the actress in 2007, reassembling her from scraps of Angelina Jolie and the magnetism of Marilyn Monroe, the actress has been everywhere.

While she’s only completed a handful of films since Transformers, including its mediocre 2009 sequel, she’s had magazine covers, spotlights, interviews, tabloid scrutinies, top Google searches and a place in the hearts or on the dartboard of your boyfriend or girlfriend.

She’s beautiful, fun to watch, loves comic books (she told GQ that “[comic book fans are] not nerds. They’re just passionate”) and she has the mouth of a sailor. (”Fuck Disney,” she offered in the same interview, immediately lamenting that “that was probably a bad move, they own everything.”) As you can see, she’s also a prophet. Megan Fox, clearly, is in the business of fulfilling fantasies.

Until now, however, I’d argue that few of her own fantasies have been fulfilled. (She is engaged to Brian Austin Green, after all. Kidding… I love you, David!) Because now… now, Megan Fox has been a centerfold. Read the rest of this entry »

Earlier this week hopeful young ladies attended the Tampa Breeze tryouts to become part of the bay area’s hottest sports team.  The St Pete Times Forum was loaded with prospective players suited up in T-shirts, short shorts, and shoulder pads.  The Lingerie Football League may sound cute, but it’s no joke. These girls are ready to play hardcore smash-mouth football, all while looking hotter than any cheerleaders safely yelling from the sidelines.

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I’m thinking about starting up my own cutting edge, fantasy league.  It will be a year-round event that will incorporate all major sports into one giant competition.

How am I constructing this league, you ask?  How will I determine whether a home run holds more value than a touchdown or a triple-double?  The answer is simple, my friends.

Athletes will no longer be judged by their statistics on the field but rather by their performance off of it.

I’m calling my new league the Misdemeanor/Felony Fantasy League or the M.F.L.  It’s bound to attract thousands of participants nationwide so get in while you can.  I’m still working on an effective scoring system, but here’s what I’ve come up with so far.  Suggestions, as always, are welcome: Read the rest of this entry »

Sat. July 25. Skin Two of London. An erotic art and fashion party. Three medical fashion shows by Baby Love’s Latex, Maggie Delena, and Ceres Moon Latex. Performances by Gia Nova and Jade Vixen. DJs Jade Vixen, DJ Sean, DJ Neiva, DJ Nemesis. Models: Angelica Syn, Betty Jaded, Carissa, Evelyn Rose, Jade Malice, Kamila, Lagata Negra, Lena, Maus, Secra, Silent K, Steevie Synthetic, Tararyze, and more. Vending by Angelica Syn and Orlando TNG. Fetish wear encouraged: fantasy, goth, glam, cyber, leather, lingerie, uniforms, vinyl etc. $10-15. 18+. The Castle 2004 N. 16th St. Ybor 33605. Read the rest of this entry »

Sat. July 18. The grand opening of The Quest’s exercise room and play area. Work out your kinks with the Quest’s newest toys: free weights, a bowflex, and an inversion Bondage table. The Quest. 12517 66th St. N. Largo, FL 33773.

Sat. July 18. Taboo Swinger’s Sexy Superhero Party. It’s time to go into the phone booth and don your alter egos for Taboo’s Sexy Superhero Party!!! Come dressed as your favorite superhero or create your own caped crusader. tabooswingers.com. 9pm. Orlando.

Sat. July 18. Caliente’s Eyes Wide Shut Party. Read the rest of this entry »

During phone sex, most men are interested in their fantasies, what they want women like me to do to them. Over the phone I’ve done it all, from getting down on my knees and making them rock hard, to riding them so hard their balls need to be iced down. For me, these fantasies are old and boring, so I’m going to share one of my own. Read the rest of this entry »

You know my mind got to thinking the other day when the heavens opened and Emmalee posted those lovely topless pictures of Megan Fox on the set of her new flick. We certainly are a society transfixed on celebrities, aren’t we? I can hear my boy, Hopp, now: “I’d let her do me.”  Hell wouldn’t we all?

After a few steamy minutes of uh, deep thinking something else came running into my frontal lobe: The Celebrity 5.  You know, that little list you have in your head (or printed and laminated) of the 5 celebrities you’d be free to have sex with should a miracle transpire that put you into a situation to do so?  It’s kind of silly, but we love movie stars and live for putting things into list form.
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Every straight male (and some females) have a version of this fantasy: two college-aged girls sitting on a couch, playfully flirting before spontaneously stripping and fondling each other. This is the scene I walk in on Friday.

Two attractive young women share a leather loveseat while watching a muted MTV show. Having just met that morning, the women are overly nice, complimenting the thongs and bras they’ve brought with them in overnight bags. But this isn’t a fantasy: these women are preparing to film their first girl-on-girl scene. Read the rest of this entry »

What is it about immortal blood sucking broodaholics that makes women swoon?  Is it the danger?  Is it the biting?  Because trust me girls, I can nibble your neck and I’ve been known to walk fast with a pair of scissors in my hand.  Or perhaps it’s something unattainable to us, the meek mortal man.

Vampire stories such as Twilight and True Blood are currently the hottest things on the market from books, to film/TV and even sex toys.  What gives?  The thought of having my blood removed from the warmth of my veins does not get me wild in the pants.  But the ladies, the ladies do love their undead bad boys.  They want to be taken to the edge and peer over the side.  It drives their juices and makes their heart feel a new sense of life.  The thought that you could be laying with your lover and in the throes of passion and he could take your life must be a mighty intoxicant.  But give me a shot of tequila over a chalice of blood any day.

Edward Cullen does have quite a few more desirable qualities than say Count Dracula.  For one he doesn’t consistently look like he’s heading to the opera.  He’s a moody, anti-social, and more Abercrombie than Hot Topic.  And you’d being lying if you couldn’t admit those eyes are DREAMY. Read the rest of this entry »

I keep looking at his back. I want to leave scratches between his shoulder blades as his chest presses against mine. I want to squeeze my pale, slim legs around his waist until I can’t get any closer. I never want this feeling to leave my body, or his. It’s our secret–a secret only shared between strangers. The strange ones.

He has no idea I’m writing this while I watch him. He doesn’t even know what I want to do to him, or what I want him to do to me. I want those arms wrapped around my lower back, pulling me closer so we can feel every part of ourselves, together, connected as strangers: nothing known, only felt. Does he feel it too? Does he think about me the way I think about him? Does he want me just as bad? Is it strange to feel so passionate about someone I have never talked to, or are strangers the only subjects for true desire?  Read the rest of this entry »