Daily Loaf

An inquisitive reader emailed me asking my opinion on retro-sexing, ex-sex, & re-fucking an old flame. Read the rest of this entry »

It might surprise some of you to know that I am not the “relationship type”…. now that you’re done laughing, I would like to present you with a very serious idea. Very. Serious.

Although I may not have normal female impulses to attach myself to another human being and then to make annoying miniature versions of ourselves, from time to time parts (ONLY PARTS) of that scenario seem appealing.

For example, I often find myself hung over and in need of someone to get me an egg McMuffin. This past Saturday was no exception. I did the heinous “wake up on the bathroom floor” move that is always supposed to be a wake up call, but usually just makes me laugh (not the best sign). Read the rest of this entry »

As I float around my pool today, naked of course, I fantasize about things I’d like to do naked.  Some of these things may be risky and others just goofy, but all fun.

Besides jumping in the pool naked, I’ve walked around a private club naked, attended a swingers party naked, and I’ve actually danced on a stripper pole a time or two naked. But I still fantasize about a few other things i could do in my birthday suit. Read the rest of this entry »

On several occasions I’ve been asked how many sex partners I’ve had. Having lived as a swinger for several years, I’ve probably had more than most, but the exact number is tricky. It depends on what you count as a sex partner. For me, I can only define what one is, by describing what a sex partner is not.

Oral sex only: Some swingers have rules, like soft swap only.  This means I only have oral sex with the other man then have actual sex with my husband. For me, oral sex doesn’t count as sex. Read the rest of this entry »

It occurred to me recently that fuck buddies are high maintenance.  A fuck buddy can be someone you sleep with on occasion with no attachment, or it could be a couple you and your partner swap with now and again. I’ve met a few people who seem to fuck others purely for the psychological boost – they need to feel better about themselves. These are high maintenance fuck buddies. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve schooled you in what constitutes an affair. I’ve listed the rules of having an affair and where to look for a discrete hook-up.  Now I’ll tell you how to save money in your search for that NSA(no strings attached) fuck.

Ashleymadison is a website revered for finding discrete hook-ups. Currently the site is running a promotion that puts a spin on the government program, Cash for Clunkers. Their promotion, Cash for Chunkers, saying, “is being married to a chunker weighing you down?” Read the rest of this entry »

Not every marriage is open to multiple sexual partners like mine, but the overwhelming desire to fuck someone other than your spouse is as common as arguments over whose turn it is to take out the trash. The difference between cheaters and those stuck in 10+ year marriages with infrequent sex and constant nagging, is that cheaters act on these desires. The problem is that cheating doesn’t come natural for most of us. So, if you aren’t the stud fucking the office hottie in the bathroom, or the femme fatale hooking up with random douche bags you flash peace sign at on the highway, here are a few guidelines for dabbling in the dark art of extramarital affairs. Read the rest of this entry »

Since many of you have expressed interest in how to jump into the swinger lifestyle, I’ve put together a few reviews of swinger websites that I’m a member of.

Florida’s Finest Couples is dedicated to lifestyle parties throughout Florida. This site is open to couples and single females who are at least 21 years of age. Members will receive discounts at swinger clubs and adult toy stores, and they will be on the list for invite only parties and special events. Read the rest of this entry »

I couldn’t help but comment on the Comic Con fan who made a video of himself asking St. Petersburg’s own Megan Fox if she’d like to do a celebrity sex tape with him.  That took balls.  I’d have liked to see a better picture of him.  I mean, if he was cute, why the hell not?  Oh yeah, not everyone can do the fuck buddy thing.  I forget that I have a knack for running through men like water runs through faucets.

(video after the break)

Read the rest of this entry »

After years of dating and love affairs, I’ve realized that men fall into 2 categories: the kind who treat women like they have “Kryptonite Pussies” and the kind who treat women like they have “Crack Pussies.” I came to this understanding one morning when I walked into the office and proudly announced, “My Pussy is Crack!!”

My boss choked on air but my female coworkers seemed less surprised. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t look at every sexual encounter as having to happen with someone I’m in love with or even dating. I’m a woman and I love to have sex with men I’m attracted to. Some call it meaningless sex. Some call it evolved sex. I just call it sex. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m back on the hunt for my next fuck buddy applicant. The qualified applicant I came across wasn’t available to accept the position - he already had an employer and was just testing the market. It was a great interview that ended too soon. I was prepared to have multiple interviews and multiple organisms with him, but that’s the way it sometimes goes with fuck buddies.

My quest for a dependable, exciting fuck buddy has inspired and shocked my friends. I have one girlfriend who’s recently divorced and sees the wisdom in the fuck buddy application process. Meet them, take their application, give them a thorough interview and either offer them the job or kick them to the curb. It’s not that hard of a process, just one you have to be careful of.  Read the rest of this entry »

I spent the better part of 5 years in a love triangle, and now I’m creating another one.  After all the pain the last one caused, you’d think I’d be smarter, but people in love aren’t smart. I’m not actually in love this time, just intrigued by one and pursued by another.  If I let it continue then I’ll be in a triangle. I’m not the only one in this situation.  I’m surrounded  by people in love triangles.  WTF…when did we go from wanting another person, to want two other people? Is it our self-centered selfish way of life? Is it low self esteem and insecurities that make us look for attention from more than one lover at a time?  Or is it where our society is heading–the triangle becoming the new relationship standard?  Read the rest of this entry »

I got thrown for a loop the other night.  I was sought out; someone wanted to turn in his fuck-buddy application.  I was reluctant at first. He’s not my normal type of applicant.  He’s not my normal type of anything.  That’s what makes him so unique and alluring.

I went to meet him with the idea of swapping ideas, not body fluids.  We’re colleagues and thought we could stimulate some creative juices–and stimulating juices is exactly what happened. Read the rest of this entry »

As the hunt for my next fuck-buddy continues, I’ve expanded my search parameters and raised my age limit. At least I tried to.

When I was younger I vowed I wouldn’t date anyone more than eight years older than me, but as I grew up, my lovers and boyfriends got progressively younger. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about dating older men until the other night. Read the rest of this entry »

I had a busy weekend. Three fuck-buddy applicants and not a single one qualified for the position.

Friday night I started out texting applicant 1.

“What are you doing later?”

“Staying home. Do you want to fuck tonight and then 2 times a week?”

At first I wasn’t sure if I was turned on or repelled by his directness. I haven’t had sex with this friend in 11 months, which is a long leave of absence for him to try and schedule twice a week sex. Having just got out of a serious relationship, this proposal sounded more like a boyfriend than a fuck-buddy. I wasn’t ready to commit to such a strenuous schedule. Besides, if I wanted to fuck this guy twice a week, I wouldn’t have avoided him for 11 months. Read the rest of this entry »

Craigslist personals ads are clearly the future of mating. Admit it, some of those cell phone shots of dudes spreading their cheeks in the mirror are of you. Being the virtually promiscuous young man that I am, I not only browse the personals for my own entertainment, I post absurd ads under the “Casual Encounters” section to see if anyone will respond. No matter how strange or perverse the post, my email inbox always fills up.

Yesterday I was feeling rather feminine, and decided to pose as a forty-seven year-old woman with a somewhat normal fetish, at least for Craigslist standards. Below is the actual ad, followed by the best of the over one hundred and twenty-five responses it received.

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tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Fill my vagina – w4mm – 47

My vagina feels empty.  I want it to be filled.  I don’t want to have sex, but I want it to be filled.  You can put anything in my vagina.  The choice is yours.  I will lay on my bed and spread my legs.  I’ll leave the door open.  You casually creep in and insert your offering into my vagina.  I’ll be doing this all day Sunday.  Just come in and stuff my vagina with whatever you have.  I want my vagina to be filled to the brim with glorious things (but not penises sorry).  You can jack off too me if you want or bring a partner.  I will be getting stuffed all day.  Please avoid using sharp or very harmful metal objects.  Other than that, you can put whatever you want in me.  Stuff me! Read the rest of this entry »