Daily Loaf

Let’s get one thing straight.  Every woman should be treated like a princess. Women need to be handled with care and respect. Speak to them honestly and avoid trying to be something you are not; we see right through that. Here are some simple pointers for men who are a bit lost when it comes to women–especially those men who don’t realize they’re lost.

The guys who don’t talk about their dicks, chicks, sexual achievements, or money are the ones who have it, do it, and can use it. Read the rest of this entry »

I just noticed that I have a bruise on my breast.  Does this mean the sex was really good or really bad? That all depends on what you like in bed. For me, my weekend sex, bruises and all, was pretty damn good.

Soccer Dad and I walked into the second bar of the night on our ‘date’ with a hot younger couple.

“You don’t have to liquor me up,” I said to my potential sex partner. “I’m a sure thing,”

Everyone laughed, but the fact remained that we were there to get comfortable with each other before having sex with virtual strangers. This is the basis of the swinging lifestyle after all. Read the rest of this entry »

After reading Dirty Talk 101 and Dirty Talk 201, you’re ready to turn the heat up.

I’ll admit that a few times while working on a chat line, the caller would actually turn me on with vivid details of what he looked like, at least in both of our minds. I’d react to his voice and start imagining myself what it would be like to fuck him. Men like these made me enjoy talking dirty and making callers cum with just my words. The excitement of making a man with just your voice is orgasmic. When done right, the rush is orgasmic!!

(language below NSFW)

Read the rest of this entry »

Hopefully you’ve mastered the lessons from Dirty Talk 101, and are ready for some more advanced word play in Dirty Talk 201.

Men are very visual creatures who have overactive imaginations when it comes to sex. A man once told me his imagination was so good he could switch hands and swear he was with sisters. Nice! A true 2-for-none special. To activate your man’s sexual imagination, detailed description and sexual imagery are extremely important. Read the rest of this entry »

I have a gift. I can talk dirty to men and the occasional woman and not feel ashamed or dirty. That’s pretty fucking cool considering most women can’t even tell their husbands to give them some dick while alone in bed together. Most people look at being a phone sex operator as a dirty job for skanks and hookers, but I’m neither. I have a Bachelors’ Degree in Communication.  During the day I took Interpersonal Communication and at night I practiced Personal Communication. So, for all you ladies, who want to talk dirty, but just don’ t know where to begin, here are some pointers. Read the rest of this entry »

The word swinger sounds dirty all by itself. For many, this lifestyle conjures stereotypes of swingers engaging in all types of uninhibited behaviors. Many of the assumptions non-swingers have about the lifestyle are true, to an extent, but it’s important to realize that every swinger is different, and we each decide what uninhibited behaviors we are comfortable with.

Swinging is often associated with over indulgence in alcohol or drugs; most people can’t understand how you could get naked and have sex in front of, and with, a room full of strangers, without being wasted on some substance. Personally I don’t partake in drug use or excessive drinking, but I’ve had swinging encounters with a few who do.  Read the rest of this entry »

People never cease to amaze me when pushing their bodies’ artistic boundaries.  I thought I was daring when I got my nose pierced.  I was in Amsterdam at the time, high on mushrooms, and I thought that a piece of metal in my nose was just what I needed. I’m usually too much of a pussy for shit like this, but some people get off on this kind of pain.  Below, I’ve included some of the most piercing pictures of painful piercings. I can’t even imagine how these people felt during their artistic voyage of self discovery!  My own story of getting my face pierced went a something like this:

Read the rest of this entry »

Every day at work a horny old Frenchman points out my tongue ring and asks if he can “feel the metal.”

Usually I tell him that I’d rather tattoo my vagina. OUCH! But Rebecca’s post, “Body modification can improve sex,” got me thinking; tattooing my vagina is way more appealing than blowing an old smelly Frenchman. I did some research on genital tattooing and found a few amazing specimens for your entertainment. (pictures below NSFW) Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes you’re looking for love, but sometimes you just want to find someone on the internet who can be your personal Oprah. To fulfill this fetish, I again turned to Craigslist. Below is my original post followed by my favorite responses. (All names and personal info have been changed to protect the weird)

tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Skinny White Guy looking for his Oprah – m4w – 23 Read the rest of this entry »

Sat. July 11th. Mistress Mayhem at The Quest. Tampa’s most wicked dominatrix will be stopping by to discipline naughty submissives. The Quest. 12517 66th St. N. Largo, FL 33773.

Sat. July 11. Ultra-Glam Fetish Party @ Purgatory. Show off your brightest colors, fishnets and animal print patterns, outrageous hair and over-the-top makeup! Custom steel bondage equipment will be set up throughout the club to encourage safe and consensual play. Creative bondage, spanking, flogging, fetish games and the ultimate mind fuck are also encouraged. DJs Danny Bled and Godfather.18+. $15-$20. Purgatory Nightclub. 1000 State Road 84 City, Fort Lauderdale, FL Zip. 33315. Read the rest of this entry »

That was one question I asked myself after an incident a few years ago. I met a man in his mid 30s at a bar in South Tampa. He was a well-dressed Italian man with a nice athletic build. We exchanged numbers and that was that. I left the bar and forgot about even giving my number away.

The following week I get a text asking to hang out. I figured what the hell, I’m the adventurous type — why not see what happens. I was a little bit horny anyway, but figured I could probably control myself.

I get over to his place, played with his cute little dog, watched some baseball, and sipped a cran and vodka. We both got a few drinks in us.

Read below the jump for the rest [probably NSFW]:

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m back on the hunt for my next fuck buddy applicant. The qualified applicant I came across wasn’t available to accept the position - he already had an employer and was just testing the market. It was a great interview that ended too soon. I was prepared to have multiple interviews and multiple organisms with him, but that’s the way it sometimes goes with fuck buddies.

My quest for a dependable, exciting fuck buddy has inspired and shocked my friends. I have one girlfriend who’s recently divorced and sees the wisdom in the fuck buddy application process. Meet them, take their application, give them a thorough interview and either offer them the job or kick them to the curb. It’s not that hard of a process, just one you have to be careful of.  Read the rest of this entry »

I got thrown for a loop the other night.  I was sought out; someone wanted to turn in his fuck-buddy application.  I was reluctant at first. He’s not my normal type of applicant.  He’s not my normal type of anything.  That’s what makes him so unique and alluring.

I went to meet him with the idea of swapping ideas, not body fluids.  We’re colleagues and thought we could stimulate some creative juices–and stimulating juices is exactly what happened. Read the rest of this entry »

My wife and I are what you might call ‘Porn Connoisseurs,’ and we’ve noticed in our research that it seems you can’t get through an X-rated movie these days without a porn star doing something literally nauseating, like gagging on a cock until she is on the verge of puking.  I’m not talking about Ass To Mouth disgusting.  I can see the appeal in that.  Two things in particular that I’m referring to are actors spitting Major-League-Baseball-style on each others’ sex parts and  blowjobs that resemble the sound of a rabid puppy slurping canned dog food.

Maybe I missed the memo, but when the hell did it become sexy to spit on someone you are trying to screw? Read the rest of this entry »

As the hunt for my next fuck-buddy continues, I’ve expanded my search parameters and raised my age limit. At least I tried to.

When I was younger I vowed I wouldn’t date anyone more than eight years older than me, but as I grew up, my lovers and boyfriends got progressively younger. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about dating older men until the other night. Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, Antonio, girls have dirty minds. It’s just that we can hide our naught thoughts better; we don’t get raging hard-ons or try to fuck men the instant we meet them. This stems from the fact that when we’re young, we’re expected to control our desires much more so than men.

I think of dirty things all the time no matter where I am. I’ll see a good looking guy and almost instantly wonder what it would feel like to have him inside me, or as you mentioned, bending me over a pool table. Regardless, women contain these dirty thoughts because they are secondary. Above sexual satisfaction, women want respect and loyalty, which we can’t get unless we act like ladies. Read the rest of this entry »

Maybe she can handle smelly men but I can't

I’ve been taking applications and conducting interviews for my new fuck-buddy now for the past month. Mainly they’ve been short interviews and no one has been called back for a follow-up.  Why waste anymore of my time or bodily fluids on a sub par applicant?  I’m tired of the anticipation, only to be let down.  Don’t men in Florida know how to fuck a woman right?  I’m not asking for a lot.  Only to be bent over and fucked hard.  My hair pulled and my ass slapped.  I want to feel a cock stroking my pussy and making me cum.

Our first encounter was mind blowing.  We left each other satisfied but wanting more.  Before he’d even cum the first time he asked when he could see me again.  His fingers were gentle but left a trail of fire blazing where he touched me.  His kiss was hard and passionate, left my lips red and my body dripping with anticipation. He was a skilled and experienced lover, taking his time, sometimes taking five, just to make sure he made me cum several times before cumming himself.

(Picture to follow; not suitable for work.) Read the rest of this entry »

(This item originally appeared on CL’s news and politics blog, The Political Whore.)

Anchor Shepard Smith, Fox News’ lone quasi-sane newsperson melted down on the air last night during a discussion of torture and the government’s role in authorizing it. Shep’s T-shirt worthy quote:

“We are America! I don’t give a rats ass if it helps! We do not fucking torture!”

Can you really blame Shep for losing his cool? He’s surrounded by sycophants and morons of the worst kind. (Hello, Hannity!) I couldn’t take the studio tour at Fox News without losing my cool and getting Tazered by security.

On a side note, the banging on the desk was a nice touch. Video after the break …

Read the rest of this entry »

Getting into position:

Just thinking about this position will hurt a lot of folks with bad knees, so if you or your partner have any difficulties in this arena, this may not be for you. It begins with the man squatting on a hard surface with his back straight and his thighs parallel to the floor. It will take a lot of balance and coordination to maintain this position.

The woman squats atop the man, resting her feet as far forward as necessary to help balance the union of the two lovers. Once in position, you will find that it is not quite as difficult to remain upright as it was in the beginning. Movement will be limited to your basic grinding, unless the woman has exceptionally strong thigh muscles and can lift her body up and down with relative ease. Read the rest of this entry »

I read Cecil Adams’ “What are the risks of hetersexual anal sex?’ last week and it made me think back to my phone sex days.  Most of the time my calls were pretty routine: what are you wearing, what do you look like, give me a blow job–the usual.  Then there were calls that made me think, what the fuck?

Some people have some freaky shit going on in their brains. I like to think I’m pretty open and accepting about sexuality. I come from a state where it’s legal to have sex with your animal.  I’m not into the whole, Tiajuanna Donkey Show, but hey if that’s what you’re into. Needless to say, something must be pretty extreme for me to think it’s a perversion.

For me, as long as your fantasy does not permanently injury me, I’m down to try just about anything once. I have to try everything to know whether or not I like it.  But this one caller had a request I knew I’d never try. The fetish did however make me think about how happy I was that he was on the phone and not doing this with some naïve young girl who didn’t how dangerous a fantasy like this could be. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the second installment of Michael Troy’s new blog. (Check out Vol. 1.)

Suicide Betty, who we called Miami Betty until she killed herself, was a young woman whose life had been filled with bad luck. She was a beauty — part Seminole Indian, part Cuban, part white trash — who already looked considerably older than her 22 years.

She’d grown up in foster homes around the Miami area. Her foster parents, men and women alike, had spent most of the time that Betty was in their care fucking her and then beating her up, or beating her up and then fucking her.

She would run away constantly. On the streets, she’d turn tricks or sell drugs. Much of her time was spent at Miami-Dade Women’s Correctional Facility. But it didn’t matter what city she took off to; wherever she went she had a near genius for finding the worst part of town, turning the wrong trick, and winding up busted.

During her time in prison she grew to mistrust men and to rely on women. Betty wasn’t big or tough. Her only hope for survival was in being adopted by the roughest of the older prison dykes and the most hooked-up of the guards.

Read the rest of this entry »

Craigslist personals ads are clearly the future of mating. Admit it, some of those cell phone shots of dudes spreading their cheeks in the mirror are of you. Being the virtually promiscuous young man that I am, I not only browse the personals for my own entertainment, I post absurd ads under the “Casual Encounters” section to see if anyone will respond. No matter how strange or perverse the post, my email inbox always fills up.

Yesterday I was feeling rather feminine, and decided to pose as a forty-seven year-old woman with a somewhat normal fetish, at least for Craigslist standards. Below is the actual ad, followed by the best of the over one hundred and twenty-five responses it received.

============================

tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Fill my vagina – w4mm – 47

My vagina feels empty.  I want it to be filled.  I don’t want to have sex, but I want it to be filled.  You can put anything in my vagina.  The choice is yours.  I will lay on my bed and spread my legs.  I’ll leave the door open.  You casually creep in and insert your offering into my vagina.  I’ll be doing this all day Sunday.  Just come in and stuff my vagina with whatever you have.  I want my vagina to be filled to the brim with glorious things (but not penises sorry).  You can jack off too me if you want or bring a partner.  I will be getting stuffed all day.  Please avoid using sharp or very harmful metal objects.  Other than that, you can put whatever you want in me.  Stuff me! Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Friday Night and I’m at home waiting on my date. Since I’m still waiting, I assume I scared him off.  This has been happening more often. Maybe I’m getting too aggressive.  I’ve been assertive with men my entire life.  I was under the impression that society had changed and it was ok for a woman to talk about sex without being a whore.   Besides, he started it. He contacted me online and since I’m a flirt, I couldn’t resist.

His online photos were so fucking hot my eyes burned just looking at them.  Clearly defined upper body with dark hair and light eyes.  I’ll do dirty, nasty things for a man with dark hair and light eyes. I was excited from the start.  I wanted to see where this would go.  Hopefully straight to the bedroom. This is how it started, straight from the internet chat box:

“Hi there sexy, love your smile and pics,” he wrote. Read the rest of this entry »

Today we introduce Michael Troy’s new blog Sex in the Shadows. Michael has made a life’s work out of exploring the darker boundaries of the sexual experience. His adventures will take you places you may have not dared to go — not yet, at least.

I’m prowling MLK and Florida Avenue in Tampa because I know that with five dollars in my pocket I can get a blowjob here.

What the Tampa Chamber of Commerce doesn’t tell you is that Tampa is the easiest city in the U.S. to get fucked in. Behind all the sanctimony, and the Marriage-is-between-a Man-and-a-Woman bullshit, among all the churchgoers, the SUV drivers and the Bucs fans, Tampa is populated by a hotbed of freaks.

The crack whores on MLK look like they’re pretty evolved on the chain of transmittable diseases, so even though I’m not exactly a safety-first kind of guy, I make a turn onto Nebraska.

Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s topic: coitus vs. fellatio. Fucking vs. blowjobs.

I’m coming (sorry) at this from a specific (heterosexual) angle; let me lay it out:

When I was in high school in the ’70s, getting sex from a girl was hard to come (sorry) by. Perhaps I just wasn’t a very good closer, or maybe I preferred the company of “good girls,” but in order to, in our lexicon, “ball a chick,” you pretty much had to date a girl for awhile, have said the L-word and perhaps even hinted that you were considering a long-term future with her.

Then the girl might let you “make love” to her — usually in pretty uptight, unimaginative ways. (Not that we complained.) Let me stress that these were the experiences of me and most of my friends — rarely, in high school, did a guy come rollin’ up with a story about how he scored with some chick he just met. It may have been different elsewhere, but I get the sense that this is a pretty fair depiction of the sexual mores of teenagers during my late adolescence.

So with enough diligence, you could get laid. Blowjobs, on the other hand, were a different matter. That was a major leap, and a young man would be very proud indeed if he was able to procure such a service (from his girlfriend, of course). By and large, the high school girls we knew and dated were of the I’m-not-putting-that-nasty-thing-in-my-mouth mindset. Blowjobs were dirty.

That script seems to have flipped. From anecdotal data I’ve picked up from some of my younger friends and colleagues, blowjobs have become a sort of social currency. No big deal. One friend of mind, who’s now 30, remembers having first dates with girls in high school whose stance was, more or less: I won’t fuck you, but I’ll give you a blowjob.

I’m a little envious, I guess.

Read the rest of this entry »

Admit it: the first time you heard the Christian Bale on-set freakout you thought to yourself, “If only someone would cut this together with Bill “Fuck it! I’ll do it live!” O’Reilly’s Inside Edition rant, we might have something here.” Good news folks, if you can dream it, the Internet can do it. Enjoy!