Daily Loaf

Routes Music is a documentary film acting as a roving music census, taking in the true musical passions (and disgusts) of the American people. We’re traveling all across the country, stopping along the way to interview local bands, take footage of live performances and chat with anyone and everyone. Learn more about the documentary here; check out all previous entries here.

“Where eeez yer pipe?”

A 6’4 security guard towered over me, glaring.

“Where eeez yer pipe?” he repeated in a thick Islands accent.

“What?” I replied, not sure he really just asked me what I think he just asked me.

“Where eeez yer pipe?” he asked again.

“My what?” I said again, still shocked.

“Yer pipe. Yer pipe.”

Now he was aggravated. I’m enjoying feigning ignorance.

“I don’t know what you’re saying, man.”

The guard switches tactics.

“Drugs?”

I smile.

“No, no drugs.”

“OK, go ahead.”

So began my very first experience at an extended-day music festival, and only my second time ever seeing the seminal jam band, Phish. Luckily, the rest of the three-day fest at the Empire Polo Grounds in Indio, Calif. went smoother than my entry.

Read the rest of this entry »

TRICK OR TEET? From New York to L.A. and even D.C., the celebs were out in force this year to celebrate the one day that can’t land them on a worst-dressed list! Here’s a taste of the action, beginning with the fairest couple of them all:

Brangelina: Not sure what Angelina is supposed to be, but Brad Pitt is rocking it as DJ Lance Rock from the coolest kids show in existence, Yo Gaba Gaba.

*

Read the rest of this entry »

• With the premiere of New Moon just around the corner, this Team Taylor vs Team Rob thing is heating up and Miss Swift has picked her side. The half-Asian (she is half Asian right? Whatever, I don’t have time to Wikipedia it) Taylor Swift is getting cozy with Taylor Lautner. I couldn’t make it through this entire article but they are totally doing it, I am sure that is how it ends.

Heidi and Spencer as Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

• I recently participated in the Twitter trend “#PeopleYouWannaKillBecauseOfTheirFace” and chose Spencer Pratt. @SpencerPratt is now following me on Twitter. His possible removal from my hit list due to befriending is nullified by the following Halloween costume (pictured left). Two things I hate do not make a right.

• Just when I was starting to be okay with this whole Miley Cyrus thing (read “okay” as, “every time I hear Party in the USA I turn it up as loud as possible and sing my little heart out”),  the teens and tweens of America have turned against her! I am always behind what the kids are doing these days. Seriously, Crocs are still cool, right?

*EXCLUSIVE: Ex: A-Rod Had Portraits of Himself as Centaur Hanging Over His Bed
The only true tragedy with this story is that it does not include a photoshopped version of what this portrait probably looks like. Thank the Lord for my unmatched talents and my college education for my art skills, that I can fill this void in all our lives (my version of Alex Rodriguez in all his mythical glory, after the jump).

Read the rest of this entry »

“Last night I dreamt of shelves of plaster molds of Ghost heads. I was near a shelf full of glowing heads, (just casts) and then we’d meet a ghost, he would show is to the grave, we’d pull out the body, make a plaster cast of the head, and return the body to the ground. The plaster cast would go on the shelf with the others, and begin to glow. JRA” (sic)

Hmmm. Could Halloween be near? Or, do you have a lot of shadow thoughts you ruminate over on a regular basis?  Read the rest of this entry »

Dee Snider of Twisted Sister

The last time that I saw Dee Snider was during breakfast at the Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando. While I was forced to make small talk with some Backstreet Boy (don’t ask me which one), Dee discussed high finance with my wife, who is a bank vice-president. Lacking Dee’s usual makeup and rampant abuse of the English language, breakfast was a less-than-surreal affair. I spent most of the time asking Lance or Kirk or Brad or whatever his name was, why he was wearing fake tattoo sleeves, instead of getting the real thing. He finally got tired of my badgering and left me to enjoy my coffee, while Dee went off to cook omelets or something.

Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to a very special, spook-tacular edition of Kevin’s Korner. This week, as we get our costumes ready, our tricks perfected and our tolerance for candy pushed to its peak. Plus, I have some great movie news, including scary tale involving a Spider-Man villain, the newest film from the Broken Lizard crew, and so much more. So, grab some candy corn and read on. And have a great (and safe) Halloween!

Read the rest of this entry »

Here are this weekend’s cream of the crop in Halloween events, but if you can’t find something frightening enough for you here, chances are you’ll find it in our comprehensive listings.

If you have the kids in tow, Guavaween is an oversized, daytime block party where kids can safely trick-or-treat, compete in costume contests, win pumpkins, hear spooky stories and more. But let’s be honest: Guavaween’s big draw is the night parade, when the Queen of Halloween takes over Ybor for a night of debauchery. This year’s evilly impressive line-up includes performances by Sevendust, Nonpoint and Soulidium; a house party at the Honey Pot; a show by local boys Thomas Wynn & the Believers, Basic Rock Outfit and The Trunk Band at Gaspar’s Grotto; and the usual (actually, really  unusual) mix of horse-drawn zombie parades,  jugglers, contortionists, vampire models, appearances by the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins and WWE wrestlers, and more erotic, quixotic stuff than we feel comfortable writing here — you really have to see it for yourself. There’s also the traditional Mama Guava Stumble parade and the final, vital aspect of Guavaween entertainment — you. Prepare to be mocked and jeered if you come in street clothes — this festival is all about being someone — or something — else for an evening, and there’s two grand up for grabs for the best overall costume. There are also prizes for best couple, best cross-dresser, best kink, and best body — so if you’re wearing something revealing (this especially goes for all the Bruno impersonators out there) fit a couple extra crunches into your workout routine. Sat. Oct. 31, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. day parade, 5 p.m. night parade., $17 after 2 p.m., visit guavaween.com for complete schedule of events and participating venues. – Franki Weddington

After the break: Vampire parties, Monster’s Ball, kid-friendly Halloween at the Tampa Theatre and American Victory Ship, Witchstock and more. Read the rest of this entry »

With Halloween approaching faster than an ADD kid jacked up on Snickers, much ado has been made about the sexification of female Halloween costumes. While some women feel that Halloween is the one day they can wear provocative outfits in public without being called sluts, others feel this trend increasingly objectifies women. I don’t know who’s right,  but I do know I have no problem with the sexification of male costumes. Read the rest of this entry »

The bump-and-groove crew was in high spirits as we enjoyed a brief reprieve from our regular lives and shed the stresses of the week to take a ride on the Junior Boys’ indie train to electro jam land. [All photos by elawgrrl.]

The stage was bathed in saturated lights and scattered with Halloween trimmings; flickering jack-o-lanterns, a crow perched on the keys, a huge skull and crossbones hanging over the drums, rainbow spears of light shining up and out of the drumkit and into the audience, and occasional blasts of fog for extra effect. Read the rest of this entry »

This time of year is ripe for ghosts, ghouls and scary tales, but don’t let witches brew distract you from great inexpensive wines. Halloween screams for some scary and spooktacular vino, and one of my all time favorites to drink on Halloween night is Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon. Vampire — like its counterpart, Dracula Wine — was at one time made in Transylvania, but has now moved operations to Paso Robles; that just bites, no pun intended.

Half the fun of drinking Vampire was the storied location where it was made. Thankfully, the change in venue has not resulted in ghastly juice.

I’m first enticed by the aromas of blood-red, ripe fruit. The scent calls to me and I can’t resist taking a small nibble, er, sip of the garnet colored liquid swirling in the glass. On the first taste I’m hit with a lip smacking, succulent flavor, with a finish leaving me wanting more. Just one thing to do: Read the rest of this entry »

Looking for something green-related to do this weekend? Look no further than our own Green Community Calendar.

Dunedin Green Market- Every Friday; 8 am- 1 pm. The Dunedin Green Market is located in Pioneer Park at the cross streets of Douglas Avenue and Main Street in Downtown Dunedin and runs every Friday.

Dialogue on Climate Change and Coastal Conservation- Friday, October 23; 9 am-12 pm. On October 23rd, participate and be part of a lively discussion on climate change adaptation strategies and ways to maintain our coasts as places where people and wildlife can thrive. The Dialogue on Climate Change and Coastal Conservation will explore what we must do to prepare for the challenges of a changing coastline. The Dialogue will build on and increase cooperation for protecting natural resources and the economy in response to the effects of global warming. Free event. Seating is limited so please reserve your seats now. Hilton St. Petersburg Carillon Park, 950 Lake Carillon Drive, St. Petersburg, FL 33716.

Tampa Downtown Market- Fridays October-May; 10 am-2 pm. The vision of the Tampa Downtown Market is to provide local residents and businesses of the community with the freshest, highest quality, most nutritious, and most reasonably priced food & gourmet products. The mission of the Tampa Downtown Market is to serve as a community-gathering place where local farmers, producers, and artisans can offer fresh agricultural and related products to generate a sense of local pride and further the economic development of Downtown Tampa. With a strong focus on sustainability, the Tampa Downtown Market intends to provide a vehicle to educate the community on the importance of good health as we create more business opportunities and residential benefits. Located in Lykes Gaslight Square- Tampa St. & Kennedy Blvd., Downtown Tampa.

2009 Audubon Assembly- Friday and Saturday, October 23-24. Come and enjoy two days of Audubon fellowship. Connect with nature and birds on expert-led and self-guided field trips. Celebrate Audubon chapter milestones, too: St. Petersburg Audubon turns 100 and Clearwater Audubon is 50 this year. Deepen your knowledge at exciting learning sessions. And share your stories of how climate change is affecting your life and the places you care about. See the full Assembly schedule. Register here. Hilton St. Petersburg Carillon Park, 950 Lake Carillon Drive, St. Petersburg, FL 33716.

Green Halloween- Friday, October 23; 3:30-6:30 pm. Who says Halloween has to be unhealthy? And who says healthy can’t be fun? Green Halloween® is about making Halloween happy and healthy and about creating community traditions we can all be proud of. Divine Events will host Tampa’s inaugural Green Halloween on Friday, October 23, from 3:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. at Hyde Park Village. Event activities include a pumpkin patch cake walk, bobbing for organic apples, make your own Halloween bag out of old TBPM magazines, “best green costume” contest, and much more! National Sponsors Cascadian Farms, Glee Gum, Larabar & Surf Sweets will be providing healthy snacks for kids. Divine Events will also be collecting used children’s Halloween costumes, in good condition, to donate to The Alpha House of Tampa for use by less fortunate children. Local sponsors include Lowry Park Zoo, Tampa Bay Parenting Magazine, Seedlings, My Green Home, and Nicole Geller Photography.  To read all about Green Halloween® and find fun events near you, visit GreenHalloween.org/Tampa. You can learn how to get involved locally, sign up for the super nifty newsletter, and share DIY costume ideas, recipes, and more on the new discussion board. There’s even a trick-or-treat bag design contest for kids! For more information visit www.greenhalloween.org/tampa or contact Barbara Keskiner at barbara@divinetampa.com or 727.403.5868.
Read the rest of this entry »

Sat. Oct 24. Taboo 3. A Masquerade ball with a sexy fetish edge. World famous fetish performers, silk aerial & trapeze acts, burlesque troop, vendors, open play dungeon equipment, and naked dessert bars. Appearances by Angela Ryan, Oni & Jody, Idelsy, GoCatGo Burlesque, Aerial Eye Candy, Evelyn Rose, Victoria Sapphire and more. Music by DJ Tom Gold, DJ Sean, DJ Curse Mackey, DJ Nemesis, and DJ Rob Givens. The Castle 2004 N. 16th St. Ybor 33605.

Fri and Sat. Oct. 23 – 24. Shibari and Bondage Weekend. The Quest. 12517 66th St. N. Largo, FL 33773.

Sat. Oct 31. Fetish Factory’s Halloween Fetish Ball. Purgatory Nightclub.  1000 State Road 84 City, Fort Lauderdale, FL Zip. 33315. Read the rest of this entry »

Christopher Rutherford (Nicole Jeannine Smith photo)

The Woman in Black is an entertaining, unusually literary ghost drama for the Halloween season, though one that lacks much reason for existing outside its capacity to excite a degree of fear. Beautifully acted by Christopher Rutherford and Glenn Gover, the current Gorilla Theatre production is genuinely spooky — several times spectators shrieked — and pleasingly original. It won’t remind you of anything else you’ve seen.

It features wonderfully discomfiting sound effects, super-serious characters (to raise the level of terror), and a ghost of dreadful countenance with nothing the least bit friendly about her. Skillfully directed by Ami Sallee Corley, Woman has everything but substance — some perspective on reality that might remain with us after the final curtain falls.

I suppose it’s wrong to want more than chills and thrills from a Halloween play, but this drama is so consistently intelligent, a little authentic significance would hardly be out of place. Oh, well. If you’re looking for a spine-tingler more intellectual than ZooBoo, this is your poison. It’s about as nerve-wracking as these things get, and so gore-free that you can bring the (older) kids. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Dexter, a handsome young pup who currently resides at the SPCA.

Next Saturday, October 24th, brings us the 19th annual Pet Walk hosted by the SPCA Tampa Bay. The one-mile walk starts at 9 a.m. at beautiful North Shore Park in downtown St. Pete.

The registration fee is just $10, and includes a bandanna for your furry friend. Other fun features include an adoptable pet parade, K-9 obedience and agility demos, a doggie spa area, fly ball, and a pet Howl-O-Ween Costume Contest (The only catch: you must raise at least $100 for your pet to be eligible to enter.)

And don’t think this event just caters to your pet! There is also plenty of food and vendors for the humans, face painting for the kids, and a photo op for you and your pet in the pumpkin patch! Read the rest of this entry »

Miss Destructo: Zombie Hunter

When you think of Orlando, you may think of Mickey Mouse and the tourist-filled, neon-lit strip of International Drive.  However, now all I see is Mickey’s zombiefied clone terrorizing tourists and International Drive becoming a twisted nightmare of ghoulish zombies … oh and Jake Busey.

My family has some strange traditions. For the last three years, we’ve packed up the whole crew to  go to Orlando for the horror-themed convention Spooky Empire (formerly known as Screamfest).  It’s a three-day-long event full of celebrity panels, vendors selling gory goods and infamously wild late night pool parties. Read more about Spooky Empire and watch the video after the jump…. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to On the Radar, where we preview up-and-coming arts events to mark your calendar for. If you scare easily or shudder at the thought of ghosts and dark, scary rooms, perhaps you should sit this one out. This weekend, Gorilla Theatre presents the classic ghost tale, Woman in Black.

Closely based on English author Susan Mills’ novel, the stage performance – adapted by Stephen Mallatratt – is said to chill, thrill and terrify audiences. It follows Mrs. Drablow, who lives and dies alone in a desolate house in a dreary part of England. Depressing, right? After Drablow dies, a young lad from London is sent to attend her funeral and sort out her papers. As you may have guessed, the unlucky chap gets caught up in the dark, tragic secrets that remain in the now empty, dismal house … or is it empty? Read the rest of this entry »

It’s October, and do you know what that means? OK, yes, it is the season of post-season baseball, but I was talking about Halloween. More specifically, I’m talking about a steady diet of scary movies regularly consumed by cinema fans in honor of our annual festival of the dead. After watching more than my fair share of fright flicks over the past few days, I’ve put together a list of my picks for the five scariest movies ever. Be sure to include your top 5 in the comments section, and let me know what you think of my selections. And please, if you see me out in public, keep the whole ‘Kevin screams like a girl’ thing to yourself!

Read the rest of this entry »

ZooBoo is an annual tradition at Lowry Park Zoo, 1101 W. Sligh Avenue. It’s also one of their biggest fund-raisers, and a great way for a family to get into the Halloween Spirit. Read the rest of this entry »

Stryker Vawn, the XXX fetish tag-team from Austin, Texas, will perform for an intimate crowd at the VIP Dungeon Show, Saturday Sept. 26. The leather clad Stryker and perpetually topless Vawn, took a break from whipping and prodding each other on stage to bare it all to CL.

-How would you describe a Stryker Vawn performance?

2 parts burlesque, finely chopped

1 part Vaudeville, peeled and pressed

6 parts perversion, stewed in sex butter

3 parts fantasy, drizzled with honey

1 part fury, ground coarsely

Mix contents vigorously in your mind until creamy thick.

-Do relatives know about your alter egos?

YES. When we first started, there was always a family member in the audience. They think we are weird but accept us for doing what we enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey kids, it’s Halloween. So guess what I’m dressed up as? Go ahead, take a wild freakin’ guess. Why, I’m a Cranky Copy Editor, which means I’m wearing my standard-issue jeans, button-down shirt and bad attitude. Why not something more imaginative, you ask? Well, because we here at the Loaf were apprised of today’s Halloween costume contest and festivities on Monday.

Monday.

I don’t know about you, but four days is not nearly enough time for me to think of and put together a quality outfit, like “the head of John the Baptist with a side order of fries.” Not by a long shot. Especially since I was expecting another knife-wielding pumpkin-carving contest and didn’t give a single thought to dressing up. I feel bad about not partaking in the Halloween esprit de corps, but then again, I’m not alone, as only a handful of people in the office bothered to play dress-up. And I guess I should be grateful no one decided to come to work as a “Sexy Cat.” Or Sarah Palin.

Candy corn. Do you like lots of sugar? And Carnauba wax? And cavities? And zits? Well then you’ll love candy corn, the single most disgusting, cheap-ass Halloween cop-out ever conceived. You know those scenes in prisoner and war movies where they slop gruel onto a tray? That’s what you’re doing when you hand out candy corn.

Cranky Movie of the Day: The Thing. Kurt Russell + Wilford “Quaker Oats/Liberty Medical” Brimley + John Carpenter + gross-out effects = Pure horror gold.

That’s it. I’m all Cranked-out. Have a safe and happy Halloween.