Daily Loaf

Most of what is said about abortion comes from politicians and religious leaders, but it’s everyday women who actually have to make the difficult decision of what to do about an unplanned pregnancy – women like me.

1 in 3 American women will have an abortion in her lifetime. This is a huge number which likely includes many women close to you, yet few ever talk about their experiences. Where are the personal accounts?

Even with the anonymity of the internet, these stories are hard to find. Women facing unplanned pregnancies have a right to know about the experiences of other women and why some chose to terminate their pregnancy. Read the rest of this entry »

I admit I’ve dabbled in the art of witty tweets and Facebook status updates in hopes of catching the attention of women I don’t know well enough to message. Unfortunately, my updates usually only attract the attention of guys I went to high school with and distant relatives. Serves me right I suppose.

Now I just post updates about where I’ll be and what time in hopes that my legions of virtual stalkers will be motivated to move to a more public forum. Sadly, my thousands of fans are too lazy to leave their computers and discreetly watch me eat pancakes at Waffle House.

(Video after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »

Are you a dude?  Are you a married dude?  Then pay attention. For far too long you’ve let your wife, your life partner, your everything, sit alone on the sidelines. Well it’s time to wake your ass up and get your head back in the game–the game of being in a good relationship. You can start by telling your wife to stop sending me naked pictures of herself.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve seen a number of risque ads in my time (see PETA’s sex with vegetables ad), but I’ve never seen a Sprite used in a bukkake scene (if you don’t know what bukkake means don’t Google it).

This Sprite commercial features an attractive woman performing oral sex on a nude man. Midway through she stops and considers how she could really go for a Sprite right about now.

Enter a crotch level Sprite, which has obviously received some vigorous stimulation. In slow motion, the soda explodes all over the thirsty woman’s face in a mess of fizzy white.

I’d have liked to believe that this ad was created by Sprite’s creative and thrifty marketing group, who knew the spot would be banned and go viral. On the internet the ad would receive a second life, reaching the key demographic of internet surfers like you and me, desperate for something to distract us from work, or unemployment. Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes you’re looking for love, but sometimes you just want to find someone on the internet who can be your personal Oprah. To fulfill this fetish, I again turned to Craigslist. Below is my original post followed by my favorite responses. (All names and personal info have been changed to protect the weird)

tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Skinny White Guy looking for his Oprah – m4w – 23 Read the rest of this entry »

Oil slicks have been described as an unpredictable phenomenon, their direction and behavior dependent upon the weather, currents, tides, wind direction, temperatures, and whether the oil is crude or refined.

Given the allegations against our recent House Leadership and the indictment of the entire House’s conduct, the slick move by Republicans during the wee hours of the waning days of session was disappointing but much more predictable. You may remember the late-filed council amendment allowing oil drilling just a few miles off our coasts and its subsequent passage on the floor. As I noted in an April blog entry for The Political Whore, zero notice was given to the amendment’s likely opponents, yet the new language was accompanied by Powerpoint presentations delivered by oil industry representatives. It was a surreal scene for many in the room, drawing comparisons to a Carl Hiaasen novel. Fortunately, the Florida Senate, often the more mature chamber, decided against hearing the amended bill. Unfortunately, the debate isn’t going away. Read the rest of this entry »

It took an Atacama Desert-like dry spell and a cruel bout of Adderall-induced insomnia to discover the secret to succeeding on Craigslist Casual Encounters. While the morally superior may say that no real ‘success’ could come from this, the morally superior are a bunch of suckers.

Besides, morality wouldn’t keep me from resorting to another Casual Encounter hook-up; Pam would.

Ask any sleaze ball who has ever tried it. If they’re man or woman enough to admit it, they’ll tell you the process of casual encountering is not so casual. Read the rest of this entry »

Since the mainstream media has shoved off to cover the last moments of America’s Next Top Model and the finals of the American Idol competitions, I want to bring you up to date on the Swine Flu. 

First of all it is important to understand that in the USA’s rush to make the naming of this virus politically correct and to protect the flagging pork industry, they settled on H1N1 virus. H1N1 is a group of viruses, influenza A(H1N1).

Viruses are not typical and change often so by using this general title for this virus, Public Health has dumbed us down. Other groups of influenza viruses are A(H3N2) and B/Yamagata and B/Victoria viruses but the list is massive and complicated. To call this virus H1N1 is like using the term car to categorize a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. Yes it is a car but, there are many cars and among cars the 612 Scaglietti is most unique.  This “swine flu” is an A(H1N1) but it is not the only A(H1N1) virus. Read the rest of this entry »

Craigslist personals ads are clearly the future of mating. Admit it, some of those cell phone shots of dudes spreading their cheeks in the mirror are of you. Being the virtually promiscuous young man that I am, I not only browse the personals for my own entertainment, I post absurd ads under the “Casual Encounters” section to see if anyone will respond. No matter how strange or perverse the post, my email inbox always fills up.

Yesterday I was feeling rather feminine, and decided to pose as a forty-seven year-old woman with a somewhat normal fetish, at least for Craigslist standards. Below is the actual ad, followed by the best of the over one hundred and twenty-five responses it received.

============================

tampa bay area craigslist > casual encounters

Fill my vagina – w4mm – 47

My vagina feels empty.  I want it to be filled.  I don’t want to have sex, but I want it to be filled.  You can put anything in my vagina.  The choice is yours.  I will lay on my bed and spread my legs.  I’ll leave the door open.  You casually creep in and insert your offering into my vagina.  I’ll be doing this all day Sunday.  Just come in and stuff my vagina with whatever you have.  I want my vagina to be filled to the brim with glorious things (but not penises sorry).  You can jack off too me if you want or bring a partner.  I will be getting stuffed all day.  Please avoid using sharp or very harmful metal objects.  Other than that, you can put whatever you want in me.  Stuff me! Read the rest of this entry »

As if people don’t already share enough of their personal lives on the internet with Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter, here’s another site where one can dish about their bad sexual encounters with douchebags: I Bang the Worst Dudes (Sorry, Mom). Some of the stories are hilariously ridiculous and some are just too good to be true, but truth can be stranger than fiction.

Most of the stories are your run-of-the-mill, “I met a dude at a bar…,” or, “This guy in a band…”. Other writers are straightforward in admitting to just wanting to get laid and having a bad one-night-stand. My favorite post begins: “This greasy sex pest’s perennially limp dick always smelled like cheese puffs. His chunky white butt had horrible thick red stubble in patches, and he used to beg me to ‘peg’ him with my dildo.” Classic. Read the rest of this entry »