Daily Loaf

The Taylors (Swift and Lautner in front of their Barbie Dream House)

*It’s Twilight Series: New Moon week kiddies and we know you are all just as excited as we are, we being me and Franki and that is all, no one else at CL cares even a little….but that isn’t stopping me from telling YOU about the latest and greatest from the makers of Barbie, Ken and Skipper. Here is your first look at the Jacob doll (please hold all ooos, ahhhs, applause and cat calls til the end of this bullet point). You can’t put it in a Barbie bed with your Taylor Swift doll and then bust out that adorable little baby Kelly until it’s released in February, but at the bargain price of $24.95, you should probably pre-order this sculpted piece of plastic ASAP.

*Big news of what is not happening this week: Madonna is NOT going to meet Jesus’ mom. Ok, I am no “religion expert” but isn’t Madonna Jesus’ mom? Does anyone else think this is really effing weird? It’s like some sort of crazy thing that shouldn’t ever be said out loud because it causes my mind grapes to hurt.

*The smartest beauty queen in America, Carrie Prejean, seems to be really into a little homemade porn, but what beauty queen isn’t? She is reported to be in not one, two or even three sex tapes, but eight and that isn’t including the numerous times she “pulled a Vanessa Hudgens” and snapped naked pics of herself using a mirror. I tell you what, this girl is all class. (Kinda SFW pic after the jump)

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Don’t forget about your homework for the weekend — keeping up on the latest music news.

Jay-Z announced the second leg of his tour for his new album, Blueprint 3. (No Florida stops are included.) The record may just be a “blueprint,” but no doubt it’s a plan to lay the foundation of yet another successful project for Jigga.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that Fuse will be airing a John Mayer concert on Tuesday, November 17, the same day his new Battle Studies album hits the shelves. The concert, which takes at New York’s Beacon Theatre, will be broadcast live across the country beginning at 9 p.m. Fuse has also partnered with American Forces Network to broadcast the show to troops overseas via AFN Radio’s Hot AC to troops and their families stationed in 175 countries and on 140 U.S. Navy ships at sea. AFN Television’s “Spectrum” channel will also be airing the concert on Dec. 6 at 8 p.m. and on New Year’s Eve.

It’s great that Mayer fans, no matter where they are in the world, will be able to listen to his new music and his live performance the very day it’s been made available. Go, John Mayer! Go, Fuse and AFN! And GO, U.S.A.!

Taylor Lautner in GQ.

*I loved the ABC crossover promos as much as everyone else, but the Lost plane crashing onto Desperate Housewives?! Sorry ABC, that is not going to make me watch Terri Hatcher’s skeletal frame neurotically wash dishes while some other woman my mom’s age bangs Hurley so that she officially can consider herself a cougar. Crossover FAIL.

*Twilight’s Taylor Lautner is having a hard time keeping his shirt on for photoshoots these days and women everywhere can be heard murmuring to themselves while flipping through the new issue of GQ: “He’s only 17. He’s only 17. He’s only 17…”

*Breaking News: John Stamos Admits Being Drunk on TV… in 2007. I am reeeeeeally glad that he finally cleared that up because the last two years have been torture for me, wondering whether or not Uncle Jesse had a few cocktails before he appeared on that Australian morning show. Finally, we can all rest easy knowing the truth. So yeah, you’re welcome.

*My hero, the hilarious Tina Fey, was on Letterman this week where she talked about losing her virginity at 24 due to her “homeliness” when she was younger and this got me thinking… What did Tina Fey look like in high school? Was her senior picture as bad as mine? Worse? Is there hope for nerdy girls everywhere? Thanks to the power of Google image search and the hard work of the investigative internet journalists who came before me, I have your answer after the jump…

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A fresh batch of music links to start the weekend off right.

• The Flaming Lips plan to cover Pink Floyd’s classic 1973 album Dark Side of the Moon, a collaborative effort with Stardeath and White Dwarfs. Let’s just state the obvious, here: It takes some serious balls to redo Dark Side of the Moon. Don’t mess this up, Lips.
• Garth Brooks will be performing at Las Vegas’ Wynn resort on Oct. 24, but promises the show will be completely antithetical to the typical, flashy Sin City show. In fact, it will be reminiscent of his original Stillwater, Okla., shows in 1983. Because people visiting Vegas really wish they could feel like they’re living it up in Oklahoma circa 1983.
• John Mayer’s new album, Battle Studies, drops Nov. 17. Mayer will also perform a concert that night airing live on Fuse. Reasons as to why Battle Studies was not titled Songs About Jennifer Aniston have yet to be announced.
• Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo is writing a song with Katy Perry that will possibly be featured on her follow-up to One of the Boys. It’s like Cuomo knew this collaboration was written in the stars: He looks just like Buddy Holly, and (oh oh) Perry bears resemblance to Mary Tyler Moore.
• Bon Jovi is now the “artist in residence” for NBC to promote their new album, The Circle, which lands in stores Nov. 12. I wouldn’t mind if Jon Bon Jovi pulled a Rick Springfield and bared some of his finer assets to the world.
• The Arctic Monkeys released a video for “Cornerstone,” the second single off of Humbug. The video looks like it was inspired by a homemade YouTube video — Arctic Monkey see, Arctic Monkey do — but its simplicity complements the loveliness of the tune. Watch the video and get more music links after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

*Not one, not two, but a total of four Victoria’s Secret Angels are preggers. The makeup artists at the next runway show should probably start stocking up on Dermablend ASAP; those stretch marks are not going to cover themselves.

*Kristin Cavallari of The Hills/Laguna Beach told Ryan Seacrest that John Mayer has asked her out, but she “didn’t need to be a notch on his belt.” Because Kristin is definitely a classy lady, I can see why she wouldn’t want to be in the same company as some unsuccessful ho-bag like Jennifer Aniston.

*Also in news from the set of The Hills, Spencer Pratt is not having sex with Heidi because he is afraid she will go off birth control without telling him. Now that is a relationship built on love, trust and communication if I have ever seen one.

*Kristen Stewart, aka the lucky girl who gets bitten by Edward Cullen, is not pleased with the fame she is experiencing. Which makes sense, because I mean, c’mon, it’s not like she went to any auditions and tried to become an actress and be in huge movies that would make her a shit-ton of cash. She is just an innocent victim.

After the jump: Jon Gosselin, A Friends Movie and Adam Lambert’s new album…

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Delilah called. She wants her “Brokenhearted Boyfriend” radio playlist back.

Crosby son-of-Kenny Loggins will not be making music history any time soon. He may have won MTV’s “Rock the Cradle” (an easy task when up against artists like Lil B. Sure), but that and a famous last name will only get you so far. His slickly produced full-length debut album, Time to Move (Jive), would fit right into Top 40 radio with a few pretty tunes here and there, but it’s uninventive and stale overall. Read the rest of this entry »