Daily Loaf

The NFL has a lot of bad teams. Entering Week Six, nine teams, the Bills, Lions, Panthers, Bucs, Rams, Browns, Titans, Raiders and Chiefs all had a combined five wins, and some of those teams had played each other. Any NFL preview of those teams at the beginning of the season turned out to be a tremendous waste of ink and cyberspace.

In the spirit of conservation and outright decency, sportschump.net’s NBA preview has decided to spare you the wannabes. We have chosen only to highlight those teams that have a legitimate chance to win the O’Brien Trophy. As is the case every year, the NBA will showcase a bunch of solid contenders. Unfortunately, they’ll also parade out there a bunch of teams taking up arena space until real entertainment comes to town.

Note the odds of each team winning an NBA title are listed in parentheses.

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For decades, athletes from Walt Frazier and Joe Namath to Derek Jeter and Dwyane Wade have graced us with a sense of style and pizzazz off the field. Due to uniform restrictions in most professional sports, it is much more difficult for athletes to fashionably express their individuality on the field. Some athletes, however, have still managed to find a style uniquely their own, simply by using their heads. From hats to facemasks, eye black to visors, these 12 have established their own personal trademarks by sporting headgear that makes them utterly recognizable. Where do they rank on your list?

12 ) Brett Favre’s Stained Baseball Cap – Nothing screams John Deere quite like a Brett Favre press conference. The on-again, off-again, gun-slinging, formerly retired quarterback of the Green Bay Packers…. I mean New York Jets…. wait, no, the Minnesota Vikings made a lot of press lately with his most recent return to the NFL. When Minnesota officially announced his latest comeback, Favre looked like he had just gotten off his riding lawnmower. A slave to fashion he’s never been, but don’t tell that to the marketing brass at Wrangler jeans. Favre has a style all his own, no matter how tired we all are of seeing it. What other Hall of Fame athlete could get away with wearing a torn, oil-slicked baseball cap while announcing he was about to earn $12 million at the age of 40?

11) LeBron James’s Headband – LeBron James has made the sweatband fashionable again in the NBA. Never before has a man wearing a headband been so intimidating. Only King James could rock the headband and make it look cool. Well, he and John McEnroe back in the day, but LBJ has considerably less hair. You go ahead and tell the league’s brightest talent that headbands are lame. Just be careful he’s not dunking over you in the meantime. Read the rest of this entry »

After weeks of hearing about it, the world finally gets its first look at video of amateur B-baller Jordan Crawford throwing down the rock in King James’ face. Will LeBron ever be able to appear in public again?

In a word: yes. First off, the TMZ video makes the original NASA moon landing tapes look like IMAX. Second, it’s just not that impressive. Yes, the kid dunks the ball, and yes LeBron is there kinda-sorta contesting the shot. So what? Tiger Woods missing the cut at the British Open last week is far more humiliating than anything on this tape.

Boy did Nike blow this one. If they had just let the video leak out to YouTube in the first place, the interest that the dunking has generated would have been muted. As it is, millions more people will now see Nike’s poster boy get faced than ever would have before. Good one, Nike. What’s next, hiring child slaves to make the shoes?

Video (much better than TMZ’s version) after the jump …

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Michael Phelps recently set the world record for the 100 meter butterfly at the US Swimming National Championships.  On a related note, scientists have now found that marijuana can serve as both a depressant and a stimulant.

In a recent Nike-sponsored pick-up game, LeBron James was allegedly dunked upon by Xavier’s Jordan Crawford.  Nike immediately confiscated all video of the event, saying it is against company policy for the media to record such practice sessions.  Similarly, sportschump.net has been caught on video in compromising positions.  Most of these recordings have also been destroyed.  The others can likely be found at the eBay.com bargain bin. Read the rest of this entry »

Get your Fourth of July party started early at Hogs ‘n’ Dogs, where you’ll find a hot dog eating contest, a bike show by the retired firemen of the Red Knights Motorcycle Club, and a red carpet dog show — with prizes for the peppiest pups. Try a cold glass of lemonade to wash down those hotdogs; money raised at Alex’s Lemonade Stand goes to children’s cancer research, while proceeds from the pup pageant benefit the SPCA. The event begins at the intersection of 24th Street and Central Avenue in St. Petersburg, and continues throughout the Grand Central District. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun., June 28, free, grandcentraldistrict.org.

Hello, Dali is a contemporary dance, visual art and musical performance is inspired by Dali’s surrealist paintings. Local composer A. Paul Johnson wrote and recorded the score in response to Dali’s work, and the Fuzion Dance Artists of Sarasota were in turn inspired to create a Dali-esque dance piece. The multi-media performance features projections, lights, costumes and props, and contributions from both local and nationally-recognized dancers and artists. 7:30 p.m. Sat., June 27, 2 p.m. Sun., June 28, Salvador Dalí  Museum, St. Petersburg, $15 adults, $10 students, salvadordalimuseum.org.

The Tarance Kinsey Celebrity all-Star Weekend kicks off with “Comedy’s the Cure,” a stand-up show featuring Joe and Guy Torry, Gary Owen and Doug Williams. Then, the Cloud Nine All White Affair is an evening of elegance and glamor with an NBA All-Star guest list, including LeBron James, Mo Williams, Joe Smith, Rudy Gay and more. Proceeds benefit the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. Comedy’s the Cure, 8-10 p.m. Fri., June 26; Cloud Nine, 10 p.m.-3 a.m. Sat., June 27, Hyatt Regency Downtown, 211 N. Tampa St., Tampa, Comedy’s the Cure, $25 general, $40 VIP; Cloud Nine, $20 general, $100 VIP red carpet entrance, tkallstars.com.

There’s something for everyone after the break:

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What a fabulous week.

It’s not often you get to visit your old town, have your pops treat you to a delicious P.F. Chang’s dinner, then finish it off by seeing your favorite basketball team inch one step closer to the NBA Finals. It’s even more rewarding when your team beats the greatest player on the planet to do so.

Living only an hour or so from Amway Arena, I could not pass up the opportunity to see Orlando’s playoff run in person. My father and I had planned on going to the game together but as he started a new job the following morning, it was time to go solo. He was sorry he missed this one as it was a game worth quitting over.

Prior to game time and after leaving dad, I stopped off at my old watering hole, Wally’s, one of the last great dive bars in Florida. At Wally’s, you’ll hear the jukebox play everything from Prince to Patsy Cline, from Johnny Cash to Jay-Z. It’s the kind of place where everybody knows your name… likely because they’ve had to call your ass a cab as you stumbled out of there. Read the rest of this entry »

I was prepared today to start writing about how I was witness to Lebron James‘ heroics in the Eastern Conference Finals. Despite the fact that every time he stepped into the paint in the first five games the referees automatically blew the whistle, his performance in this series proved beyond any shadow of any doubt in my mind he is definitively the best player on the planet right now. I was going to write about how I Was Witness. After he knocked down the game winning triple in Game 2, a friend of mine, known simply as The Big Walk, sent me a one word text: “witness”. I called him and we had an hour and a half (or so) conversation about how it is impossible to be mad because LBJ is just that good. He’s strong, and quick. He get’s to the proverbial rack and finishes with contact as if it weren’t even there. This is what I wanted to write about.

That was until today when I found out the full extent of the pouting following Game 6. I mean, I knew that on Saturday he left Amway Arena without having spoken to the media and that did not bother me so much. As much as I like watching press conferences, players and coaches get fined for saying anything particularly worthwhile so it’s really about the slivers of analysis that come out in between the effusive, tongue in cheek praise of the other guy. And you know, I was still prepared to be Witness to LBJ when I found out that ‘bronbron left the floor without shaking hands with any of the Magic players.

This morning, though, I heard this quote:

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Strange days, indeed.

Being a fan of Central Florida sports franchises in the last week or so has been like riding on a rollercoaster inside a gyroscope inside a paint mixer.

Let’s set aside the Bucs — the team with more question marks than an midterm exam — and concentrate on teams that are playing. The Tampa Bay Rays, yeesh. It seems whenever the ballclub reaches the .500 mark, it feels the need to open the gun cabinet, extract a Tech 9 and promptly shoot itself in the foot. Last night, the perfect case in point.

Vaunted pitcher David Price made his season debut, and the Rays staked him to a 10-0 lead. But he could not pitch with enough command, even though he threw as fast as 98 mph, to last the requisite five innings to notch his first regular season win.

My wife knows very little about baseball, but when she saw that the Rays were ahead 10-4 in the 9th, she said, “It’s impossible to come back from six runs with only one inning left.” We (actually, I) switched our attention to the Nuggets/Lakers game in hopes that Satan’s spawn, Kobe Bryant, would go down.

Obviously my wife’s prediction was wrong. At halftime of the NBA game, a crawl on ESPN told that the Indians had come back and won the game in the bottom of the 9th, 11-10. Just like that: a laugher to a heartbreaker, the biggest collapse in team history.

Me? I’m glad I put a Rays win in the books prematurely ’cause I spared myself the anguish of watching them implode. And I also got to focus my mojo on a Lakers loss, which happened: 120-101.

For weeks it’s been frustrating to watch the Rays score 12, 13, 15 runs in blowouts and then the next day score 2 or 3 and often lose. I will say that it goes from frustrating to jarring when the team reaches double figures in runs — and loses on a walkoff single.

But let’s turn to more pleasant matters: The Orlando Magic/Cleveland Cavaliers series. Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re already a basketball fan, you can stop reading now. Or you can continue on to get your fix. This post is directed toward the fringe fan.

Although it may sound like it, this is not a public service announcement from the National Basketball Association. It’s merely a gesture of respect and admiration from a self-admitted, basketball junkie. It is Christmas in May and the Association has gifted us with some phenomenal basketball. So gather ‘round the flat screen with some pizza and beer and enjoy! You’ll be glad you did.

If it’s drama you want, the first four games of the Conference Finals so far have been decided by a total of seven points! The remaining games promise to be just as exciting. This is the ultimate reality television.

What’s intriguing about this final four (Denver, Los Angeles, Orlando and Cleveland) is that three of the teams, three of the four head coaches, and three of the four megastars have yet to win a championship. Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony and Dwight Howard are all heavyweights who want a title BAD. Whoever wins will cement his legacy among the NBA’s elite.

So for those of you who don’t already have the back of their basketball cards memorized, here’s a brief explanation of why you should tune in: Read the rest of this entry »

The Cleveland Cavaliers have it easy. For that sake, so do the Los Angeles Lakers, Denver Nuggets and Boston Celtics. The difference between those teams and the Orlando Magic is so clear cut, it smacks you in the face like a playoff game you should have won, then inexplicably lost.

Cleveland has a leader. Make no bones about it, that is LeBron James‘ team. Their head coach Mike Brown, who won the 2008-9 Coach of the Year award, has been around. While only in his fourth year in Cleveland, he’s already taken them to one Finals appearance. He also coached under Gregg Popovich on the Spurs 2003 championship team.

The Los Angeles Lakers are led by Kobe Bryant, who’s won three titles, and head coach Phil Jackson, who’s won nine. The Denver Nuggets are a totally different team since they landed Chauncey Billups, a point guard, floor general and former Finals MVP. Denver also has the well-respected George Karl as their head coach. The Boston Celtics, last year’s NBA champions, are coached by Doc Rivers and have an established motivator in Kevin Garnett, even though he’s playing that role from the bench as he’s currently injured.

The Orlando Magic have none of this, and it shows. While the series against Boston is not over, Orlando is down three games to two when they already could have easily advanced.

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