Daily Loaf

“Dear Dream Momma, I have been a member of a dream analyses group for 10 years and I am half Norwegian, my mother being completely Norwegian and with many relatives in Norway currently. Here is my dream:

I dreamt my mother and I were together and we met my father, who appeared to be with a younger woman. At first my inner reaction (towards the woman) was defensive and “who are you”? As the dream progresses I realize she is some kind of companion/friend/ soulmate.

We are invited (mom and I) and we go with them to this place, like some magnificent hotel, far, far away from anything (not earthly or earthbound). It has a golden/glow/light to it. As we enter, so do others and they all seem beautiful, happy, laughing, serene, at peace. This man seems to be Dad, (but more evolved, “together”, comfortable in his skin). There was talk of what we would be eating….beef vs fish. He said it would be fish. It was understood we would leave and come back later for dinner as they the others would rest or take some sort of break. It did not make sense to me to leave as it was so far away…..and then to come back for dinner?

My mother and I drove away in a car, it was invisible, but a convertible. wind was blowing through our hair. it wasn’t like driving a car, it was like flying or moving through space and there was an ethereal feeling. Thank you.” (sic)

I’d like to remind you and my readers about a big-time rule in dream interpretation. Rule number one is: Don’t literalize the dream. This rule seriously applies to this dream. So, if we follow that rule, what have we got?   Read the rest of this entry »

“I live in St. Petersburg, in my dream i was sleeping and i suddenly wake up and look out  the window. my ex boyfriend is sitting with a girl next to a pool. all i could see is the back of my head and my ex and the new girl. my ex looks up and gives me the goofiest smile and starts waving, i give him the finger. next thing i know he’s climbing up the side of my house, and i help him climb through the window and into my room. he stands on my bed and he starts talking to me. next thing my dream switches to me in a room with my mom and i am slowly getting a belly, and i realize that i am pregnant. i’m confused why nobody is freaking out except me, and when i go to touch my belly half of it deflates and it becomes see through, and inside there is a snake growing inside of me. i start freaking out and my mom tells me that this happens to everybody when theyre pregnant. i got to school the next day and no one seems to notice that i am pregnant. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?” (sic)

You’ve had a heavy dream, dark and rich with hidden family myths that you are intuitive enough to sniff out.  It means that in your family belief system, sex is related to betrayal. Read the rest of this entry »

Most of what is said about abortion comes from politicians and religious leaders, but it’s everyday women who actually have to make the difficult decision of what to do about an unplanned pregnancy – women like me.

1 in 3 American women will have an abortion in her lifetime. This is a huge number which likely includes many women close to you, yet few ever talk about their experiences. Where are the personal accounts?

Even with the anonymity of the internet, these stories are hard to find. Women facing unplanned pregnancies have a right to know about the experiences of other women and why some chose to terminate their pregnancy. Read the rest of this entry »

We were on a visit to my great-aunt’s house. She was in the shower when we arrived, so her son, Ivy Leaguer, let us in. I was settled between my sister and cousin, reading a book when my aunt came into the living room to greet us. It had been over a year since my aunt had seen me. As I stood to greet her, my aunt clapped a hand to her chest and looked to my mother and grandmother.

“Lawd-a mercy! The girl’s got tits!” she shouted.

I was ten years old with B-cups. Molly Ringwald had nothing on how mortified I felt.

If you’re like me, at some point or another something similar happened to you. If you’re not like me and you have never had such a moment, I envy you. From the moment I woke up with A-cups in third grade up to today, my family and I have had moments that captured awkwardness in ways that John Huges wished he had come up with. At the risk of never being able to look anyone on the Creative Loafing staff in the eye again, I’m sharing a few stories in no order of embarrassment. Readers are more than welcome to rate the stories as they see fit. Bonus points allotted to those who share their own stories of horror. No, honest, I won’t mind. They were horrifying events when they happened, but I can laugh at most of them now.
Read the rest of this entry »

Is your Kitty Purry? Video after the break

Pandemic?  We don’t need no stinkin’ pandemic.  The world might be in a state of blinding fear but you wouldn’t know it by looking at the faces in the crowd at Katy Perry’s bay area appearance on 4/28.  The Rabid one was a part of the wily crowd and has to say, sex was flowing in the air and it had a palpable taste.

She kissed a girl and hell yeah she liked it. Her pseudo lesbian moment brought the people out en mass to Jannus Landing in St. Petersburg.  Ok, I know what you’re thinking, “who cares about pop music’s current female sensation?”  But a quick study of the mostly estrogen fueled audience yields fascinating results.   Read the rest of this entry »

Dream Momma, I dreamed I won the lottery and right afterwards met the perfect girl who was really into me. In the next part of the dream I am driving my asshole of a brother to rehab. (My last and best relationship ended because of him). I look into the rear view mirror of my new Corvette and see my parents waving good-bye from the front porch of a house I’ve never seen before. My Mom is crying and I seen her twisting a hanky in her hands. My Dads hands are clasped together like in prayer.  I’m totally confident and smile and wave out the car window, then suddenly I wake up.”

Wow, talk about a compensation dream!  I can just picture you, tossing and turning like most of us in this economic crisis, then finally falling into a fitful sleep.  Your days, when you’re not working your tail off,  are probably spent trying to keep the family together and holding Mom’s hand while cursing, pleading, cajoling and blaming your brother for everything… Read the rest of this entry »

As if people don’t already share enough of their personal lives on the internet with Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter, here’s another site where one can dish about their bad sexual encounters with douchebags: I Bang the Worst Dudes (Sorry, Mom). Some of the stories are hilariously ridiculous and some are just too good to be true, but truth can be stranger than fiction.

Most of the stories are your run-of-the-mill, “I met a dude at a bar…,” or, “This guy in a band…”. Other writers are straightforward in admitting to just wanting to get laid and having a bad one-night-stand. My favorite post begins: “This greasy sex pest’s perennially limp dick always smelled like cheese puffs. His chunky white butt had horrible thick red stubble in patches, and he used to beg me to ‘peg’ him with my dildo.” Classic. Read the rest of this entry »