Don’t forget about your homework for the weekend — keeping up on the latest music news.
Jay-Z announced the second leg of his tour for his new album, Blueprint 3. (No Florida stops are included.) The record may just be a “blueprint,” but no doubt it’s a plan to lay the foundation of yet another successful project for Jigga.
Editor’s Note: MTV’s Ultimate Parkour Challenge premieres tomorrow night, Oct. 22, at 10 p.m. on MTV. The show will air repeatedly thereafter until the end of time.
MTV has long been a youth-sucking goliath; it’s bloated corporate girth waddling to the trough of whatever cool new thing the kids are into before swallowing it whole and shitting out a processed log of television banality. When it comes to so-called “extreme sports,” MTV’s bastardization squad has been on the prowl since at least the early ’90s heyday of Dan Cortese and MTV Sports. The net’s latest bid to drain the lifeblood from an emerging trend, MTV’s Ultimate Parkour Challenge contains a checklist of MTV’s crimes against its audience: bland hosts, questionable music, whiplash editing and a “competition” with judging that stretches credibility. Despite it all (and to my great surprise), Parkour Challenge is a winner, thanks largely to the assembled crew of compelling daredevils willing to jump off a roof for your entertainment.
Read more about MTV’s Ultimate Parkour Challenge — and check out some videos of the competitors — after the jump.
*I kinda missed the boat on this last week, but that is the beauty of having a time frame that ends in “-ish”…the freedom to 
extend my week. So, James Franco is joining the cast of General Hospital and explaining it by claiming it as “performance art.” No James, no it is not. It’s a soap opera, the same category of show my grandmother used to tape on VHS five days a week so she didn’t miss Rick Springfield and his evil twin with amnesia who probably had a serial killer for a wife. James has got to lay off the reefer.
*Did you hear Bristol Palin’s BabyDaddy (yes, that hunk of a man to the right) has agreed to pose for Playgirl? I, for one, had no idea Playgirl was still around but this might be subscription time for yours truly. Because there is nothing sexier than a teenager with no real ambition who impregnated a cheerleader … wait, I think we had that guy in my high school, I could probably get him to show me his “private areas” for way less than the $19.95 a month the website membership is gonna cost me.
*If there is anything I have learned from television this week (besides the obvious life lessons that one gathers from Project Runway, One Tree Hill and The Office) it’s that B-list semilebrities love pistachios way more than I do. And the National Pistachio Council (I have no idea if that’s a real thing) must have gotten a huge stimulus package to pay for all these big name endorsers.
After the jump, a Girls Next Door recap, exploding implants, Death Cab meets Twilight and more… Read the rest of this entry »
In April I wrote about a casting call MTV put out for their True Life series. The topic: Polyamory. Like many poly folk, I was concerned (and curious) about how MTV would portray polyamory. I predicted that MTV would focus more on the fighting, jealousy, and negative aspects of polyamory with perhaps a minuet mention of the good. As time went on, I comforted myself with an article in Newsweek that could be presented as a “better alternative” to the True Life episode when the inevitable naysayers began making their appearances. Read the rest of this entry »
*Kate Gosselin has been offered $400,000 to pose for Playboy. I propose that Hugh take that money and offer it to Jon Gosselin to never speak in public ever again. I think it is time that Playboy does something good for the world and this is a win-win…because no one wants to see a mother of eight’s vajayjay — no one.
*Remember that neoprene number Ra’mon won with on Project Runway a couple weeks ago? (If not, you can check it out here.) According to Tim Gunn, who never lies or is wrong about anything ever so I totally believe him, the dress was dyed in the toilet at FIDM. Here is my question…is that dye or 2000 Flushes? I won’t judge but really, it’s a legit question.
*Megan Fox has opened her mouth again. Calling Michael Bay, the mastermind behind such films as The Rock, Armageddon and apparently Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall (who knew?!), “Hitler” and a “nightmare.” His revenge? Read the rest of this entry »
With the Loafies on Tuesday, I am getting ready for a little awards show action. What better way to prepare for my acceptance speech (I’m winning a Loafie for something, right?) than to watch the MTV VMAs?
My favorite part of any awards show is the red carpet, generally…but this is the VMAs so I know the best is yet to come, so briefly, here are my thoughts on the red carpet arrivals:
• Lady Gaga is Phantoming it up in that mask. And I have to say I feel that Kermit has actually downgraded from Miss Piggy, as we are not certain that Gaga ( right) is technically a Lady.
• Shakira and Pink are in the same dress. This is a disaster, seriously, whose dress is that? Who let that happen? Some poor assistant at a New York fashion house is about to join the unemployment line.
• Alicia Keys looks adorable! I am in love with that dress. That woman is the picture of sophistication lately.
• Now, onto the show where we will discuss Kanye’s diss, Gaga’s bleeding, Pink’s Boob and more…. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m only 28, but it makes me feel old to find out bands like Alice In Chains (below) and Sublime (right) – which enjoyed their heyday when I was a teenager – have reunited. Back then, I clearly remember not giving a shit when various pop-culture purveyors made a big deal about reconciliations of groups like The Eagles, Page & Plant, and KISS. I was too young to have lost a favorite band to a nasty breakup. Since then I’ve witnessed bands I love (Iron Maiden and Pixies to name a few) reunite in 
the best possible way – with their core lineups and legacies mostly intact.
Alice In Chains and Sublime are among the biggest alt-rock bands to come out of the 1990s. Both sold millions of albums and lost a frontman to drugs (not necessarily in that order). Both bands have recently re-formed with new singers. Alice In Chains is even set to drop a new record at the end of the month.
These two bands have so much in common – including this very passionate debate: are their reunions bullshit? (Video after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »
Who the fuck is this person? you think with disgust as you read my apathetic reaction to Steely Dan’s performance at Ruth Eckerd Hall. You find yourself compelled to school me on my apparent lack of knowledge, compose an angry response listing all the reasons I am wrong, berate my abilities as a journalist and my failure as a music critic overall. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW AND WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE? you conclude in all caps so I can’t ignore your ire. I can almost hear your self-righteous click of 
“Submit Comment” button. (Photo by jamesostrand.com)
You have a valid point. Who the fuck am I and why does my opinion matter so much more than those other idiots who came before me who you also thought were chattering out of their asses?
I am a near-native who’s covered all aspects of Bay area culture for Creative Loafing for nearly six years. While I never aspired to be the paper’s music editor, my love of music eventually and naturally led me to write about it, to attempt to put those intangible moments of joy and sorrow to paper and describe the seemingly indescribable, to relay a sound or a feeling or a mood or a texture with words, to try and offer an objective look at something inherently subjective, something based on experiences and background and taste and even my mood at any given time. I’ve been writing and listening to music for a long time. I don’t pretend to know everything but I approach all music with an open mind and a willingness to build upon what I already know. Read the rest of this entry »
Since MTV’s The Hills began in the summer of 2006, Heidi Montag has gone from Lauren Conrad’s sweet best friend to Spencer Pratt’s feisty vixen. Montag has seemingly tried everything to stay in the celebrity spotlight, starting with her awful music video (directed by her new husband, Spencer) of Montag running and rolling on the beach in a bikini.
Ten days after his death, Michael Jackson is the biggest story in the entertainment world. Some of you may be crying overkill, but I’m still keeping tabs. Here’s a series of the latest links I’ve come across.
Video of Jackson at his last rehearsals.
Jackson’s public memorial confirmed for L.A.’s Staples Center on Tuesday, July 7.
TV networks planning coverage of Jackson memorial.
Billboard: How Michael Jackson’s Thriller changed the music biz.
Billboard: Jackson will likely set more chart records.
Billboard: “Michael Jackson and MTV — The M once stood for Michael.”
Madonna honors Jackson during a show at same arena in London that he was to perform 50 shows.
It used to be that MTV would overplay videos to such a degree that it was impossible not to know the latest singles by Madonna, or Prince, or Michael Jackson (may he RIP). Those artists blew wads of cash to make miniature movies for their songs. (Michael and sister Janet’s 1995 acclaimed video duet, “Scream,” cost $7 million alone to produce.)
Nowadays, MTV doesn’t play videos so much as it airs clips of them during the closing credits of its neverending reality TV programming, so 
many artists have turned to YouTube to get the vids out and are likely alot more budget conscious when making them. The results vary from fun and inspired to downright garbage. Here’s a look at two Moby videos created in support of his ninth album (out today on Little Idiot). I’ve also included a preview clip of Bjork’s live Voltaic CD/DVD release. (Complete clips from the DVD would be nice but sadly, there are leaked or uploaded as yet.)
Artist: Moby
Album: Wait for Me
Songs: “Shot in the Back of the Head,” “Pale Horses.”
Both of Moby’s new singles have intrigued me with their raw electro-meets-organic feel. The video for “Shot in the Back of the Head” is David Lynch’s dark and abstract translation of the song, which is rather gloomy all on its own; and “Pale Horses,” the second single with haunting female vocals by Amelia and melancholy overtones, is directed by Elanna Allen and follows a lonely alien who takes a train to the moon to find some companions. Both are animated, but in very different styles.
Grade: A for both; the music was good and the videos compelling enough to make me want to check out Moby’s new album. (CHECK OUT THE VIDEOS AFTER THE JUMP).
When you’re in any form of minority, you hope pop culture representations of your group are fair. You 
anxiously watch episodes of talk shows and scour newspaper articles in hopes that this one got it right. This is the show that doesn’t devolve into the sensationalist, “OMG these people are so weird!” that makes you throw your remote across the room before angrily masturbating.
Okay, maybe that last part is only something I do when I’m alone and annoyed. I highly recommend it though. You won’t be angry by the time you’re done.
Let me be frank. I’m no activist. By the time I find out about most of these flubs, the actual activists have already fired off angry letters and comments to the guilty party. I still go to the polyamory LJ community for advice on my poly problems. If you’re looking for more eloquent explanations of why someone would chose polyamory, you’re better off checking out Polyamory? What Like Two Girlfriends?. Read the rest of this entry »
For a while now the Wii gamers have been left behind the Xbox 360 and PS3 crowd in terms of extra downloadable tracks for Rock Band and Rock Band 2. If you’re one of the people who have bemoaned your lack of classic Canadian rock versus the other versions, today heralds the release of yet another chunk of DLC that should elicit a cheer.
This week’s Wii Rock Band DLC brings the entire best-selling Rush album, Moving Pictures, to the Wii tomorrow, including fan favorites YYZ, Limelight, and more. As an added bonus, this isn’t the cover band that has mangled Rush Rock Band tracks (’in the style of’) previously – these tracks are copied directly from the master album recordings. That’s right – 100% more Lee, Lifeson and Peart than before!
The other nice bit of news was today’s statement from Harmonix & MTV Games about what Wii Rock Band players have to look forward to in terms of downloadable content for the future. Read the rest of this entry »
We are currently in the midst of a severe celebrity slump.
Real, honest-to-goodness headline-grabbing celebs are no where to be found. Instead, we’ve been bombarded with the imitation crab variety, pretty girls and airbrushed guys with little to offer above and beyond their MTV “reality” shows. I can’t get away from them – the Lauren Conrads, Heidi Montags, Spencer Pratts and Audrina Partridges of the world. I don’t watch the show, yet I know every freaking thing that’s going on in their “lives.” I’m bombarded with information about them, not because they have any redeeming qualities, or talents, or have done something noteworthy, but because they’re whores for the camera. They see a lens and instead of hiding their faces, or smiling uncomfortably and scurrying for the closest exit ala authentic celebs, they make a beeline straight for the photo op. This full-on media assault on my consciousness has caused me to avoid my usual celeb gossip haunts because I know I’m gonna find out some useless bit of information about how Audrina’s tits might be fake, or how Lauren and Heidi might finally bury the hatchet, or whether or not Spencer is going to propose again and what size diamond will he choose (it has to be big, you know how Heidi gets), and where oh where are they tying the knot, and will it be recorded and broadcast on The Hills, and will Heidi get her dress made personally by Vera Wang?
Excuse me, I’ve thrown up in my mouth a little and it tastes of my disgust in humanity.
Pictured: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, ruining the time-honored tradition of celebritydom one photo op at a time. Read the rest of this entry »
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