Daily Loaf

“Sometimes it’s after the curtains close the real reckonings come, whether it’s about who we wish we were or who we wish we could be or who we want.” — xoxo Gossip Girl

This week was the one of seriously awkward conversations … I guess that’s what happens when you have a threesome, or if you’re trying to have sex with your ex-hook up’s married cousin, or when your step brotherish comes to a club to take you home from an ecstasy deal with an ambassador.

Although we were all promised a hot and heavy threesome last week not much was delivered, this week we got a little more of a view of the action, through flashbacks of a very cocky (pun intended) Dan, and we learned one very important lesson: don’t ever have a threesome Read the rest of this entry »

“Some people think that when the party ends the night is over, but I’ve found it’s when the music stops and the lights come up that the real trouble begins. You better get your beauty rest now, because it looks like things could get ugly in the morning.”  — xoxo Gossip Girl

Photo courtesy Giovanni Rufino / The CW

Becoming a debutante is one of the most important rites of passage a young girl experiences in high society: white dresses, hot escorts (whom you will fuck later, it is your duty as a new lady of society,) and waltzing — which you will never do again. But apparently, the Upper East Side does not exactly follow these rules. There was no white in sight, the band was playing a song called “Bitch” (not the best song to waltz to), and absolutely no fucking. Between stepbrother’s boyfriends as escorts, a former queen B’s love passed down to the next generation, and the promise of a threesome … all of these things should have added up to a steamy episode. Not exactly.

Let me first address the elephant in the room. Last week’s preview of Gossip Girl promised us a threesome and we got one Read the rest of this entry »

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines we’ve drawn until we cross them. That’s when we rely on the ones we love to pull us back and give us something to hold on to. Then there are the clearly marked lines, the ones that if you cross you may never find your way back.” -xoxo Gossip Girl

This election day, no Upper East Sider was far from scandal. Between Olivia’s bathroom boy story on Jimmy Fallon, Tripp Van der Bilt’s election day hoax, and the possible destruction of Serena and Blair, election day was definitely not just about the ballots (but who ever said politics wasn’t dirty anyway?)

Although there may not be ballots involved in Dan and Olivia’s relationship, they might need to start keeping score. After an appearance on Jimmy Fallon, Olivia let the story of their first date slip off the tongue — and it wasn’t the best first date, considering Dan came back from the bathroom with his shirt inside out, not the best impression for any girl. After she told this story on national television, everyone started to call Dan “bathroom boy,” which is definitely a step down from his previous nickname, “lonely boy.” But in true Humphrey, style Dan did not let her scandal affect him, and he let it brush right off his shoulders. Good for you Dan, don’t let the fact that your girlfriend told an incredibly embarrassing story about you on national television get you upset!

National television may not have been kind to Dan, it was kind to Tripp Van der Bilt — at least at first. No one loves a good election day hoax likes the Van der Bilts. In an attempt to bring up his points in the polls, his wife hired someone to fake drown in the Hudson, so Tripp could save him, portraying himself as a hero.

In good gossip girl fashion Vanessa was there to capture the entire thing on film, including filming the part where the fake drowner jumped into the Hudson and swam to a more convenient place to drown. Read the rest of this entry »