Daily Loaf

This weekend is college football’s calm before the storm, so if you need to get some yard work done, this is the weekend to do it. Unless of course, you’re a Michigan or Ohio State fan. The three kings, Florida, Alabama and Texas, all have two regular season games, then a conference championship to determine who will play for the BCS title. This week, those three are such huge favorites against Florida International, Kansas and UT-Chattanooga that Las Vegas doesn’t even have a point spread in the ‘Bama-UTC game. Perhaps the Mocs are hoping Terrell Owens will once again suit up for his alma mater. The Buffalo Bills might secretly be hoping the same thing. In the NFL, Super Bowl contenders are starting to separate themselves from the early draftees, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a few choice matchups to watch. One includes an undefeated team as a road underdog and two other conference games that could determine who gets into the playoffs and who stays out.

(10) OSU at Michigan – (Saturday, 12:00 pm – ABC – OSU minus 12)

Let’s face it. A Rose Bowl berth doesn’t mean anything to Ohio State if they don’t beat they’re arch rival. Losses in this series get coaches fired. Just ask John Cooper. (I probably just lost three Buckeyes readers for merely mentioning Cooper’s name.) Speaking from personal experience, the only thing more enjoyable than watching college football’s most storied rivalry with a drunken Buckeye fan is hearing him or her explain in excruciating detail how this is college football’s most storied rivalry. So they have that going for them… which is nice. Whoops, just lost three more Buckeye readers. Michigan is 1-6 in the Big Ten this year and Jimmy T has never lost to Michigan, so the Buckeyes have nothing to worry about this year, right?

(11) Oregon at Arizona – (Saturday, 8:00 pm – ABC – ORE minus 6)

Read the rest of this entry »

Wanna bet?

Las Vegas sports books have been taking a bath lately and I don’t mean comfortably inside a lavish Bellagio hot tub. Weeks ago, Vegas reported its biggest losses in years. The reason? The disparity between the haves and the have-nots in the NFL is so broad that when these teams play each other, bookmakers can’t set the lines big enough for gamblers to bet on the underdogs.

In the NFL, a 14-17 point spread generally indicates one team is significantly better the other. But even with lines that high, the stronger team has still been covering the number.

Read the rest of this entry »

The curtain is closing on college football’s regular season. The top three teams in the nation are all double-digit road favorites (Florida at South Carolina, Alabama at Mississippi State, Texas at Baylor), but they are slowly running out of opportunities to stumble. Nobody expects them to lose but stranger things have happened. The NFL is starting to provide fans with a little separation between the playoff-bound and the also-rans. This Sunday, we’ll witness a key clash between the top two teams in the NFL’s best division as well as two legendary quarterbacks squaring off once again.

(25) West Virginia at (5) Cincinnati – (Friday, 8:00 pm – ESPN – Cincy minus 9)

Cincinnati just might do it. With three games left, they might make it through a perfect season. Pittsburgh might have something to say about that on December 5, but so will Noel Devine and West Virginia this Friday. Devine is second in the Big East in rushing, averaging over 112 yards a game. Zach Collaros has filled in admirably for the injured Tony Pike. Collaros will start but Pike is expected to see some playing time after being out a month. Cincinnati hasn’t lost at home in two years. The last team to beat them there? The Mountaineers.

(10) Iowa at (11) Ohio State – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – ABC – OSU minus 16.5)

Read the rest of this entry »

Remember those sharply dressed fellows in last week’s What to Watch? You know … the ones desperately trying to gain entry into that South Beach BCS night club? Their names were Iowa, TCU, Cincinnati, Boise State and LSU. Well, the lights are coming on and last call is rapidly approaching. This weekend, one of those teams has the opportunity to finagle its way to the front of the line. The others must continue to sit back and watch, hoping the BCS voters who work the door look favorably upon them, which is unlikely if Florida, Texas and Alabama continue to handle their business. The NFL doesn’t rely on doormen, but its season is no less exciting. This Sunday, the NFL reaches its midseason. As one avid SportsChump reader pointed out, we have six games pitting over-.500 teams against each other this weekend, a rarity for this late in the season. Sounds like a separation Sunday worth watching. Read the rest of this entry »

With college football’s home stretch slowly coming into view, this Saturday offers fans another batch of important games that will lead us closer to clarity. Two national championship contenders hit the road against ranked teams while several other hopefuls remain locked outside the top of the BCS like single guys waiting fruitlessly to get into an exclusive South Beach nightclub. The NFL also has several key division matchups as well the league’s most surprising undefeated team looking to stay perfect on the road.

And there’s also a little thing called the World Series going on, so make sure your cable bill is up to date.

Georgia at (1) Florida (Jacksonville, Fl.) – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – CBS – UF minus 15)

Don’t call it the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party anymore. The powers that be don’t like the image it portrays. As if the 75,000 fans that pile into the Gator Bowl this Saturday won’t be imbibing their favorite brand of bourbon. On the bright side, that’s more fans than have seen a Jaguars home game all season. While still undefeated, Florida is a far cry from the offensive powerhouse it’s been in years past, particularly in the red zone. The Gators have scored only 16 touchdowns in 36 red zone attempts this season, not exactly reminiscent of their national championship runs. The good news for Florida is that they’re still controlling time of possession and their defense ranks among the best in the nation in most categories. A Gator victory could seal the SEC East but the Bulldogs won’t roll over, even though they’ve lost 16 of the last 19 meetings. Most Gator fans remember the Georgia’s end zone celebration two years ago. Florida exacted its revenge by winning 49-10 the following year, calling two timeouts in the final seconds to rub it in. Look for Urban Meyer to give Tim Tebow very chance to break Herschel Walker’s all-time conference rushing record against the school he played for.

Read the rest of this entry »

This Saturday’s college slate gives us a quick breather from the top-ranked, head-to-head matchups we’ve seen so much of lately. The weekend features only one contest between ranked teams and a number of distinct favorites squaring off against theoretically lesser opponents. That doesn’t mean we won’t see our fair share of surprises. It does mean that if you like betting money lines, you stand to make a nice chunk of change if your underdogs hit. In the NFL, the three remaining unbeatens all hit the road, two of whom will be playing in very hostile environments.

Once again, here’s what you should be watching….

Clemson at Miami (10) – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – ABC – UM minus 4.5)

If you like speed, this could be the game to watch. At 3-3, Clemson still has a chance to win the ACC’s Atlantic Division but any effort the school put into hyping CJ Spiller as a Heisman candidate could have been better invested in junk bonds. Spiller has only scored three touchdowns this season. The Tigers face a Miami team which is ranked 10th in the BCS but 4th in their own division. Go figure. Clemson has yet to win a road game and Miami has yet to lose at home this season which means the Hurricanes should definitely win this game, right?

Tennessee at (2) Alabama – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – CBS – Bama minus 14.5)

Read the rest of this entry »

If you thought last weekend featured the only big-time tussle in the bayou, think again. While this weekend’s college slate might at first glance pale in comparison to Florida-LSU, don’t be fooled. Three of the top-five teams in the nation square off against ranked opponents. If they’re not careful, they can easily be knocked from their perch. While the NFL powers-that-be separate themselves from the dregs of the league, two unbeatens go head-to-head in yet another bayou battle for supremacy.

(20) Oklahoma at (3) Texas – (Saturday, 12:00 pm – ABC – UT minus 3.5)

After one bum shoulder and two Sooner losses, the Red River rivalry might not hold the anticipation it was supposed to at season’s beginning, but don’t tell that to the school’s alumni. With losses to Miami and BYU, any Oklahoma hopes of returning to the BCS title game are pretty much out the window, but they can still win their conference and dehorn Texas whose championship hopes are alive and well. On the other hand, an undefeated season would earn Texas a first class ticket to Los Angeles in January. Texas won this matchup last year, but lost to Michael Crabtree and Texas Tech, denying them a title shot and opening the door back up for Oklahoma. Even though Bradford and Colt McCoy are the best of friends, the revenge factor in this game is big. Expect nothing but fierce competition and quality quarterback play at high noon on Saturday.

(11) Iowa at Wisconsin – (Saturday, 12:00 pm – ESPN – Wisc minus 1.5) Read the rest of this entry »

Rush Limbaugh is getting more pushback in his purported bid to purchase the St. Louis Rams.  The Commish, Roger Goodell, a good corporate man if there ever was one, didn’t sound too enthusiastic about the possibility of the man with talent on loan from god being part of a group that buys its way into the National Football League.

As we recounted yesterday, several players and the head of the Players Association have already responded critically to the possibility of Limbaugh becoming part of the league.

Most of the articles written in the media in the past few days go back to Rush’s previous brush with the league, when ESPN hired him as a commentator for the 2003 season.  He lasted less than half a season after claiming that Philly QB Donovan McNabb was never really that good of a player, but more a wish fulfillment of “politically correct” white reporters.

But it shouldn’t take others to observe that the NFL players — who are the game — are 65% black, and Limbaugh has made racially divisive statements about blacks his entire career.  Who could forget his enthusiastic playing of the song “Barack, the Magic Negro” in 2008?

Indianapolis owner Jim Irsey said yesterday that he couldn’t consider voting for Limbaugh.  He  remarked:

”When there are comments that have been made that are inappropriate, incendiary and insensitive … our words do damage, and it’s something that we don’t need.”

What have we learned in the first four weeks of this NFL season, other than we’re damn glad football is finally back? We know there are a number of quality teams that are playing some really good football. Then there are those teams you wouldn’t bring home to mother.

Picking a Super Bowl winner at this point is near impossible. For example, football odds list the Ravens, Colts, Vikings, Patriots, Saints, Giants, Eagles, Steelers and Chargers all between five- and 10-to one to win. It’s uncommon to see that many teams all bunched together at the top of the pack of NFL betting, but the league wanted parity and that’s what it got.

In addition to those nine, there are a number of middle of the pack teams that still have time to make a push. And then there are the teams we can make fun of.

Ladies and gentlemen, sportschump.net hereby presents … the Good, the Bad and the Fugly: Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, college football fans saw four top ten teams (Ole Miss, Penn State, Cal and Miami) lose in disheartening fashion. While the upsets this weekend will likely not be as poll-shattering, Saturday’s slate features three crucial contests between ranked teams that will continue to add pieces to the puzzle that is college football. Likewise, the NFL features several intriguing matchups, including a grizzled veteran facing his former team for the first time and the league’s best offense squaring off against one of the best defenses. If you only get regional coverage, this is definitely a Sunday where you’ll want to visit your local sports pub to catch the action.

(22) Michigan at Michigan State – (Saturday, 12:00pm – Big Ten Network – Mich St minus 2.5)

Freshman quarterback Tate Forcier is quickly becoming the most popular kid in Michigan. The only thing that could make him more popular would be bailing out the state’s failing automobile industry. Forcier added to his growing Wolverine legend by staging another last minute comeback, this time against Indiana, but he injured his shoulder in the process. According to coach Rich Rodriguez, Forcier should be ready to go by game time. This will be Michigan’s first road game of the season and the first time Rodriguez will visit East Lansing as Wolverine head coach. Michigan State (1-3) has struggled so far this season but has only lost its three games by a combined thirteen points. Michigan best not be caught looking past the Spartans to next weekend’s difficult road test at Iowa. Read the rest of this entry »

This week in college and professional football might finally shed some light on who’s good and who’s not, putting some distance between the contenders and the pretenders. Below are some of the games you should be watching.

South Florida at (18) Florida State – (Saturday, 12:00 pm – ESPN – FSU minus 14)

Once upon a time, three mighty giants ruled the sunshine state. Their names were Miami, Florida and Florida State. These three football powers accounted for 10 national championships in 26 years. It was nearly impossible for any smaller state schools to compete with these programs, both on the field and on the recruiting trail. But that’s exactly what the University of South Florida is trying to do. They’ll get their chance this weekend as they travel to Tallahassee to take on the Seminoles. FSU is coming off an emotional road win over 7th ranked BYU and looking to get their program back to national prominence. So is USF, who suffered an unfortunate setback when they lost senior quarterback Matt Grothe for the season to a torn left ACL last week. Grothe, who was well on his way to another successful season, will be replaced by freshman B.J. Daniels who hails from, you guessed it… Tallahassee. Don’t expect the Seminoles to throw him a welcome home party.

Iowa at (5) Penn State – (Saturday, 8:00 pm – ABC – Penn State minus 9.5)

Revenge is a dish best served Nittany. The Iowa Hawkeyes spoiled Penn State’s run at a national championship last year by stunning them 24-23 in Iowa City. Joe Paterno’s Penn State Nittany Lions will try to keep their 2009 hopes alive in this conference opener for both teams. Iowa is on a seven-game winning streak but will have to play in front off 110,000 angry fans who are still bitter over last year’s defeat. Neither team has yet to be challenged this year, beating their six opponents by a combined 113 points. With Ohio State’s loss to USC who then lost to Washington, Penn State may not only need an undefeated season, but also some style points in these Big Ten conference games to get a BCS title shot.

(9) Miami at (11) Virginia Tech – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – ABC – Miami minus 2.5) Read the rest of this entry »

Back by popular demand, sportschump.net has once again decided to preview the weekend’s most important match-ups. For those of you who don’t eat, drink and sleep SportsCenter, here’s what you should be watching this weekend.

(10) Boise State at Fresno State – (Friday, 9:00 pm – ESPN – BSU minus 7.5)

The Boise State Broncos leave the friendly confines of their blue turf and travel to Fresno to face their division rival Friday in prime time. Fresno State, who is coming off a heartbreaking-loss at Wisconsin, hosts a stingy Boise State team that has only allowed 8 points in two games. While this will be one of the more difficult road tests for Boise State, many expect them to roll through their schedule unblemished on their way to a BCS berth. That means style points could be important. The Broncos have won their last three against Fresno State and six of their last eight. The Bulldogs have lost their last nine games against ranked opponents. All this does not bode well for Fresno State but then again, that’s why they play the games.

Tennessee at (1) Florida – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – CBS – Florida minus 29.5)

Remember growing up when you mouthed off to your father and he’d turn around and wallop you right in the kisser, reminding you who was boss. That’s exactly what could happen in the Swamp on Saturday. Upon being hired this off-season, Lane Kiffin added fuel to an already heated rivalry when he accused Urban Meyer of cheating and proclaimed Tennessee would sing “Rocky Top” all night long when they beat the Gators. Well, he’s finally going to get his chance. This date has been circled on both team’s calendars since those comments. Since losing to Ole Miss last year, Florida has covered every point spread but one. They’re favored by more than four touchdowns. Vol fans, who are more nervous than Buckeye fans before the USC game, hope that trend does not continue. Florida will be going for a school record 13 consecutive victories while Kiffin and company try to make their bold prediction come true. Expect a raucous Swamp filled with Gator fans who can smell blood.

(19) Nebraska at (13) Virginia Tech – (Saturday, 3:30 pm – ABC – Va Tech minus 5) Read the rest of this entry »

Can you smell that, sports fans? The freshly cut grass? The grill at the tailgate loaded up with low-sodium, turkey kielbasa? The stumbling guy with matching hat and jersey who has had way too much to drink hours before tip-off? That’s right. It’s that time of year again and we are all ready for some football.

That means we can hunker down in front of the tube this weekend and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Here’s what you should be watching.

(3) USC at (8) Ohio State (Saturday, 8:00 pm – ESPN – USC minus 7)

If you’re going to watch only one football game this weekend, make sure this is the one. Never has a meaningless game been so meaningful, at least in Columbus, Ohio. The loser of this game can still win their conference and even conceivably play for a national championship. But after last year’s 35-3 beat down, many feel Ohio State needs to exact revenge against Southern Cal, not only for its program but for its conference. Can Ohio State stop USC’s ground game? Can they put pressure on freshman QB Matt Barkley? Can Ohio State’s Terrelle Pryor will his team to victory? If you’re not fortunate enough to attend this game in person, turn up the volume on your television sets. The Horseshoe should be rockin’.

Troy at (1) Florida – (Saturday, 12:00 pm – ESPN – UF minus 36.5)

Read the rest of this entry »

Woe is the Buccaneers fan. Let me preface this by saying I love the Bucs. They’re my NFL team and always will be. I’m not looking to switch allegiances and I never will.

But the 2009 Buccaneers are in trouble. While other NFL teams are already executing their game plans with near playoff-like precision, the Bucs are still miles away from establishing any sort of identity. Heading into the regular season, Tampa Bay’s coaching staff is no closer to answering crucial questions than it was four preseason games ago.

They start quarterback Byron Leftwich, who’s already been cut from several NFL rosters. Byron’s own family wouldn’t start him on their fantasy team. Citing directional differences, the Bucs fired their offensive coordinator, Jeff Jagodzinksi, days before the start of the season. They have no clear-cut, number one running back. They have no go-to wide receiver. In the off-season, they lost one of the greatest defensive minds in football. They’ve had off-the-field personnel issues. And their schedule is brutal. They play the NFC East this year, one of the toughest divisions in football, meaning before they even play a team in their own division, they will face Washington, Dallas, Philadelphia and the New York Giants, all Super Bowl contenders.

In the preseason, Tampa Bay went 1-3. Read the rest of this entry »

Proving once again that reality television is bad for you, San Diego Charger linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested for allegedly restraining and choking his girlfriend, former reality television star, Tila Tequila. Tequila hasn’t done this much damage to someone on the west coast since my last trip to Tijuana. Tequila charged Merriman with battery and false imprisonment, while Merriman claims he was only trying to stop her from driving under the influence. Several witnesses back up his claim. Neither the Chargers, nor the NFL, will take any action against Merriman until all the details of the case have come to light.

A carpenter is slowly constructing his team’s path to the playoffs. St Louis Cardinal ace and probable NL Cy Young Award winner, Chris Carpenter, has earned himself a 16-3 record and a miserly 2.16 ERA. He ranks second in the NL in wins (16), second in WHIP (0.97), third in complete games (3) and first in both ERA and winning percentage (84%). Carpenter has been nails lately, winning his last eleven decisions, going no less than six strong in each of those outings. Last time he took the mound, he one-hit the Brewers and they’re one of the best hitting teams in baseball. Someone please give this carpenter his hardware already.

Some top drafted quarterbacks have been brought along slowly, having the luxury to learn from a more experienced mentor. Others have been thrown to the Lions immediately. Chalk Matthew Stafford up among the latter. The Detroit Lions have pegged the former Georgia Bulldog as their opening day starter, edging out Daunte Culpepper. The bright side for Stafford is that the Lions can do no worse than last year’s dreadfully imperfect 0-16. Their first win this season might just bring about a parade, or at least the traditional rioting Detroit is used to when celebrating their sports victories. If Stafford learns to get in sync with future superstar, wide receiver Calvin Johnson, that celebration might come sooner than people expect.

Read the rest of this entry »

How do you pack the worlds greatest rock and roll show into 12 tight little minutes? Perhaps you need to ask The Boss. When Super Bowl 43 took over Tampa this past winter, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street band wowed the millions of Americans watching as only they can. Working on a Dream: Bruce Springsteen’s Super Bowl Journal, which airs tonight (Monday, September 7), is a fantastic look into how the rock show spectacle was put together. The Rabid One was a part of Bruce’s stage crew for the show. Let’s see if the documentary tells the whole story.

Read the rest of this entry »

Serial Killers start with animals…just sayin.

Michael Vick (perhaps you’ve heard of him) has been officially reinstated by the NFL and is now currently a proud member of the Philadelphia Eagles.  Reactions from the sporting community have ranged from “Congratulations!” to “Throw him in a cage full of pit bulls with Steakum-scented Underoos.” Ah, freedom of expression. As a half-assed journalist I consider it one of my favorite rights. Over time, unfortunately, the term rights has devolved into a virtually unrecognizable four-letter word uttered by way too many ignorant nincompoops who use it where it doesn’t, and shouldn’t, exist.

A quote-collage as I would call it of sports analysts, bloggers and various know-it-alls compelled to comment on any and all online articles has boiled down to essentially this: He has a ‘right’ to an opportunity to play again in the NFL.

He does?  Who says?  You?  The Constitution?  Barack?  Buddha? Where is this coming from?
I’ll meet you half-way.  Vick has a right to ask for his job back.  Just like the decision-makers of this privately owned company had the right to say, “Yeah, no.”

Let’s thrust out of the hundred-million-dollar orbit of the NFL universe a second and break it down into real-world terms everyday schleps like you and I can identify with.  How many of us feel that it would be perfectly okey-dokie to demand that our boss keep a spot open for when we get released from federal prison, hmmm?  Read the rest of this entry »

Look, I am by no means a Michael Vick apologist (or fan for that matter). As far as I can tell, he’s pompously arrogant, and his apology before entering prison last year did nothing to change that. Of course, I do not know him personally but my feeling is that he’s going to come out of jail pretty much the same guy that he was when he went in. That feeling, though, has far more to do with the criminal justice system than it does with Vick specifically.

Still, he was released from prison on Wednesday of last week and, on Friday, he contacted his probation officer confirming his arrival in VA. The ultimate question from a sports perspective is “should Vick get a second chance int he NFL”.

The question isn’t “if” because the answer to that is “of course”. With all apologizes to John Connor,  there is fate that we do not make for ourselves and one of them is that Vick will be back playing in the NFL. Sure, PETA will have a flip out and they should. VIck’s actions were atrocious. Then again, that’s why he went to prison, isn’t it? This is the system that we have, like it or not, for punishing criminals in our society. When they leave, of course they have a “Scarlett letter” for the rest of their lives and Vick will, and should, be no different. In fact, if anything, Vick has at least answered for the wrongs that he’s committed, unlike some NFL players (I’m looking at you, Adam Jones).

Read the rest of this entry »

Richard Pryor hosted Saturday Night Live in its flagship season of 1975.  The interesting thing about that broadcast is that it wasn’t actually live.  Pryor’s comedy was so cutting edge and profane at the time that NBC used a delay, as they were uncertain what he might say next.
ESPN may want to consider borrowing that delay this season as Monday Night Football has announced the addition of Jon Gruden to its broadcast booth.  Gruden will replace Tony Kornheiser who no longer wanted to deal with the constant traveling.  Gruden joins Brian Billick, Mike Holmgren and Bill Cowher as Super Bowl winning coaches who have traded their headsets for earpieces.  They are all likely candidates to eventually return to the sidelines.

Gruden is a rare breed though.  After he replaced the beloved Tony Dungy as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach in 2002, former Buc Derrick Brooks was asked to describe the difference between the two men.  Without hesitation, Brooks replied “Coach Gruden curses a lot.”

Gruden’s presence in the MNF booth could give new meaning to the term “color commentary.”  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of profanity.

Read the rest of this entry »

Yes, the unthinkable has happened. NFL and broadcasting legend John Madden is hanging it up. Per his statement:

“I’m 73 years old. My 50th anniversary is this fall. It’s been such a great ride. The N.F.L. has been my life for more than 40 years, it has been my passion — and still is.”

Is it just me, or does that quote seem to leave a little wiggle room? I expect we’ll see Brett Favre on TV any second now speculating on whether or not Madden’s retirement is for real, or if (come the opening of training camp) he will still have the fire in his considerable belly to strap on the mic on more time.

On a personal note, I do not remember an NFL without Madden calling games (and at 33, I’m no little kid) and his absence is unthinkable to me. If it’s any comfort, at least Madden will live on forever in digital form as the guy who the football video game is named after. Happy trails, John. You will be missed.

credit: Adam Campbell/US Coast Guard handout photo

Former USF football player Nick Schuyler was found clinging to an overturned boat 35 miles off the coast of Tampa Bay today, as three other people (including two NFL players) remain missing.

Coast Guard Capt. Timothy M. Close said rescuers found Nick Schuyler clinging to the hull of an overturned boat about 35 miles off the coast of Florida today.

The search for the three other boaters, including NFL players Corey Smith and Marquis Cooper, will continue, he said.

The Coast Guard, which was once searching an area of 16,000 square miles, has narrowed the search field significantly. The search has been ongoing since early Sunday, when the four boaters did not return from a Saturday fishing trip.

Read the full USA Today story.

By late afternoon, his Facebook page was covered with several dozen greetings from relieved friends and family members who sweated out a tough night awaiting news of Schuyler’s fate. One wrote, “Incredible and inspiring story you have to tell. Thoughts and prayers are everywhere for you!”

(This now-ironic photo was once Schuyler’s Facebook profile photo.)

In yet another sign of the Tampa Bay Bucs’ drastic facelift, the team released perhaps the most stalwart player in franchise history, LB Derrick Brooks, a sure-fire future Hall of Famer. Joining him on the cuts list were another popular Buc, RB Warrick Dunn, who returned to the team last year after several with the Falcons; WR Joey Galloway; WR Ike Hilliard; and LB Cato June.

All except June were past-their-prime players with substantial salaries. June, who turns 30 later this year, signed in 2007 as a free agent from the Indianapolis Colts, but never made the impact expected.  June was considered the heir apparent to Brooks, so it’s a bit odd that he was released as well. But overall, the cuts are indicative of a Tampa Bay youth movement, or to use a taboo word: rebuilding.

The Brooks release is easily the most controversial. He’s been an absolutely great player for the team, an 11-time Pro Bowler, and a pillar of the community. He even restructured his contract a couple of times to provide the franchise with salary cap space to sign free agents.

Salary cap is not currently a problem with the  Bucs. The team is a reported $42 million under the cap, most in the NFL.

What do all these moves augur? The optimist might think that the Bucs are gearing up for a run at free agents like monster DT Albert Haynsworth. Those with less sunny outlooks might see it as the new administration following ownership’s mandate to run the team on the cheap. The Glazer family owns the Manchester United soccer team, which is widely regarded to have the highest payroll in all of professional sports.

I don’t have a strong read on it either way — but I do know that if with the Bucs parting ways with Brooks and the rest, they had better be counter those moves by loosening the purse strings or else risk alienating their fanbase more than it already is.

—Eric Snider

A press conference has been scheduled for 3 p.m.

From the official site:

Bucs Call 3:00 PM Press Conference

Feb 25, 2009 -

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have called a press conference at team headquarters beginning at 3:00 p.m. ET on Wednesday afternoon.

The team will make both Head Coach Raheem Morris and General Manager Mark Dominik available to speak and answer questions at the press conference.

The press conference will be carried live on Buccaneers.com and a recorded version will be posted shortly after its conclusion.

If you’ve been paying attention to the Bucs at all this off-season, you probably saw this one coming. The Bucs let out word today that they would not be resigning QB Jeff Garcia.

Again, not all that shocking. And yes, Garcia deserves better. Still, did you really ecpect the rebuilding Bucs to hang on to a player who has first-hand knowledge of the War of 1812?

Talk about your fish out of water.

Take a veteran alt-weekly journalist and thrust him into Super Bowl Media Day. Loaded down with a video camera, a digital audio recorder and a digital still camera (oh, and a notebook, made of paper), the one-man-media-gang that was me joined a sea of others for more than two hours today at Raymond James Stadium.

A zoo. There had to be more than 2,000 media types herding around one side of the stadium, documenting the finer points of Larry Fitzgerald’s hair, Hines Ward’s diet, Troy Polamalu’s spirituality (and hair), Mike Tomlin’s hunger for winning, Ben Roethlisberger’s admiration for Kurt Warner (and vice versa), and more X’s-and-O’s 101 than one could stand.

Larry Fitzgerald and his hair

See more photos below the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

Easily the most disturbing moment of yesterday’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was the live Rickrolling of the audience. And is that a blue penis in the opening part? I thought this was a family show!

• Let the bargain hunting begin.
• Terror in India. But was it home grown?
• Meanwhile, in Thailand, expect long delays at the airport.
• Passenger jet on a maintenance flight goes down off the coast of France.
• The NY Times visits a Florida condo auction.
• The new Blackberry is no iPhone killer.
• R.I.P.: The World’s Oldest Person.
• Man, the Lions suck.
• There’s something naughty about this headline, even if I can’t quite figure out what it is.
• Roving gangs of Key West seniors.
• Love the dude cranking a brewski next to the mayor, in the second photo.
• Reviewing South Florida’s “Fire-Breathing Liberal” congressman.
• Chris Matthews to run for the US Senate from Pennsylvania in 2010??
• Thomas Dolby finds a cassette tape with the demos that got him his first record deal.

25.5-0. With the point spread, that was Detroit’s lead over the Bucs in the first quarter of Sunday’s game. And yours truly was feeling like the smartest guy in the world for having taken the Lions in his pick ‘em league, as if I’d asked out a girl I was supposed to have no chance with and scored.

By halftime, I wasn’t so smart.

True, Detroit still held a four-and-a-half-point advantage with the spread, but I knew that wouldn’t last long. And it didn’t.

The Lions didn’t merely implode. They got sucked into a black hole of incompetence from which nothing positive could escape. The final score of 38-20 doesn’t do the collapse justice. But having seen the game with my own eyes, I now understand why that team is 0-11 and well on its way to 0-16. And I honestly don’t know how head coach Rod Marinelli keeps his job by season’s end. To be honest, I don’t know how any of the coaches or players keep their jobs — if ever a team needed an enema, it’s the Detroit Lions. Take it from one player quoted in the Detroit Free Press after the game:

“I don’t think we know how to deal with the lead,” defensive tackle Shaun Cody said. “Obviously it showed. One thing goes bad, and I think guys start thinking, ‘Oh, no. Here we go again.’ You kind of get that feeling.

Lord, give me the strength to lay off the Lions and the points for the rest of the season.

Headline I wish I could have used (but might have been too obscure): “Hello, Sheba neighba” (for Brian Ries’ review of Abol Bunna). Make-believe bonus points for anyone who gets the reference.

Word that doesn’t get used nearly enough: Skeevy. It means exactly what it sounds and looks like. Just typing it makes me want to take a hot shower.

TNF returns with tonight’s Browns/Broncos showdown.  The game looks to be a shootout, as both teams feature comically inept defenses.  Vegas slightly favors the hometown Browns; I’m inclined to agree, even though Denver’s taken all five meetings between the two thus far.  Joe Bardi predicts the impending slopfest will be won by “anyone except the viewers,” but I’m calling it 31-24 for Cleveland.

With erstwhile ballcarriers Michael Pittman and Andre Hall on the shelf, the Broncos hope for untested rookie Ryan “Make It” Torain to shoulder the load.  Meanwhile, fake sports geeks everywhere are crossing their fingers that Torain doesn’t make them look like complete morons for dropping Jerious Norwood to pick him up.  (Or maybe that’s just me.)  

But tonight’s most compelling storyline has to be Brady Quinn’s debut as Cleveland’s new starting quarterback.  Seemingly unable to resist the former Notre Dame standout’s adorable dimples and chiseled abs any longer, Browns coach Romeo Crennel made Quinn the, ahem, “Juliet” of his offense on Monday.  The latest in a long line of pretty-boy signal-callers, Quinn may very well prove to be the fairest of them all.  Though he’s only thrown eight passes in his NFL career, the youngster’s displayed impressive ball-handling skills on many occasions.

Still, Quinn’s physical gifts aren’t without their drawbacks: Wideout Braylon Edwards blames his teammate’s dazzling smile for an uncharacteristic slew of dropped passes earlier this season, and running back Jamal Lewis admits to occasionally losing himself in those dreamy eyes.

Brett Favre must be spinning in his grave right now.

Since the mid-1980s, I’ve owned Electric Football, which is little more than a vibrating metal board painted to look like a football field. Switch it on, and watch in dismay as your little plastic running back nudges forward a half inch before doing an about-face and flutters toward his own endzone. Good times.

While surfing the Internet to learn more about this classic boyhood game, I came across this video, which I hope will lighten your mood this NFL Sunday as you fall farther behind in your fantasy and pick ‘em leagues.

It feels so good to vent. And it’s so nice to have you wonderful people to vent to. So with no further ado:

Madonna divorcing Guy Ritchie. Because if those two kids can’t make it in this crazy world …

Tonight’s final presidential debate. Does it even matter at this point? A while back I was going to write a screed about my lack of faith in the American voter’s ability to choose an umbrella when it’s raining, but it seems that Obama, after all, will win. I’ll watch it, out of some misguided sense of my duty as a citizen. But I don’t have to like it.

People who diss Britney Spears. She may not be an artiste with arteestic integrity like that indie band you plunk down $15 to see every time they play your local watering hole all-ages venue, but that’s not what she’s selling, is it? And that art-for-art’s-sake ethos you abide by is as much a commodity your heroes want you to pay for as is the charisma and sex appeal that are Ms. Spears’ selling points. Don’t believe me? Check out your iPod playlist. Or your MySpace friends list. Or that doofus hipster T-shirt of your favorite band that you’re wearing. Britney’s just another option on pop culture’s television. Don’t like it? Change the channel.

This Sunday’s slate of NFL games. Up is down, and black is white, as those of us participating in Creative Loafing’s pro football office pool have learned this NFL season. Which Giants team will show up against the Niners: the one that got blown out by the lowly Browns, or the one that took apart the Cards and Seahawks? Is San Diego back on track after crushing the Pats, or will they fold up like a cheap suit in Buffalo? Should I put my faith in a resurgent Indy squad at Green Bay, or did they simply take advantage of an overrated Ravens team last week? Ouch. My head hurts …

Boston Red Sox fans who cheer during a hopeless game. I couldn’t believe my eyes when, down by 10 to our beloved Rays, they unironically roared and high-fived when their Bosox scored a run to make it 11-2. This is great cause for concern, because if Red Sox Nation is capable of cheering when the ship is sinking, who knows what other evils they may unleash upon society? You know, besides Bloody Socks. And 2004.

Here we go with another round of hastily compiled football picks.  Our guest handicapper this week is office menace Euchre Bot 5000, a contraption we foolishly spent half our editorial budget on last week — because we could never seem to rustle up four human participants whenever the urge to waste precious time playing trick-based card games arose.

Long story short, Euchre Bot 5000 became self-aware sometime on Friday afternoon and began attempting to systematically eliminate us.  Snider bravely managed to trap it in the break room, and put up quite a valiant fight in the ensuing deathmatch.  We’re confident that we’ll have him reanimated via dark sorcery in no time.

Fortunately, we were able to make up our missing picks after the killer robot discovered beer in the company fridge and finally chilled the fuck out.

Fantastic Sal sez:

Miami Dolphins @ Houston Texans

Let me get this straight: The Fins get beat by the New Jersey JV team in the first game of the season, follow that up by getting routed by the Arizona Cardinals in week 2, and then follow that up with resounding victories over the Pats and Bolts.  And they’re doing it with hard-nosed, all-out play spiced with a 100-year-old single wing attack.  At the risk of jinxing my team: Take the Dolphins and the points against the Houston Fuck-Ups.

Oakland Raiders @ New Orleans Saints

Remember the good old days, when the mere mention of the Raiders would strike fear into opponents’ hearts and send them scurrying for the nearest stadium exit?  Well, those days are long gone.  And so begins the Tom Cable era in Oakland.  Could he be the next Art Shell; a midseason replacement who spurs Da Raiders to respectability?  Not likely.  Especially not with a middling pass defense against Drew Brees in the Superdome.

New England Patriots @ San Diego Chargers

So here’s what we know thus far: The Chargers’ defense sucks, ranked 28th out of 32 teams.  The Pats’ D, meanwhile, is a respectable 11th.  On the other hand, they’re a dismal 23rd in offense, while the Bolts are 15th.  Quite a football handicapper’s quandary, no?  Not really, once you figure in the ever-reliable X factor: Evil genius Bill Belichick out-stone-faces Norv Turner for the victory.

Joe Bardi sez:

Baltimore Ravens @ Indianapolis Colts

The Colts should have to pay gift taxes on last week’s victory over the Texans. (Memo to Houston QB Sage Rosenfels: Slide, you jackass!) Indy will face a more stingy opponent this Sunday, when the Baltimore Ravens visit the Colt’s brand-spankin’ new Olive Oil Stadium. The Ravens D, led by tackle-and-taunt machine Ray Lewis, is playing near the level of their Super Bowl year and figures to harass Peyton Manning all day. When Manning is forced to move around, interceptions and defensive touchdowns are often the result. If the Colts can hang onto the ball, they might be able to squeak out a win. Too bad they won’t be able to hold onto the ball. Ravens win 21-17.

Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets

Fresh off a bye week, the New York Favres and their suddenly pass-happy offense play host to the pathetic and underperforming Bengals.  I’m not saying the Favres are a good team (they aren’t), but they’re certainly good enough to beat Cincinnati this weekend. Still happy with those off-season moves, Green Bay?

Green Bay Packers @ Seattle Seahawks

Woe the Green Bay Packers. The Aaron Rodgers experiment has been hampered by injury, the defense isn’t playing up to last year’s standards and old #4 has already rung up double-digit TD pass totals in the Big Apple. It could be worse for the cheeseheads, though. They could be Seahawks fans. Seattle coach Mike Holmgren is on the way out (he’s already announced this is his last year), and the team is so sad to see the coach go they have already rolled over on the season. It must be all that rain in the Pacific Northwest. Anyhoo, the Packers get a road win this weekend, but the fate of their season is still very much in doubt.

The Lowly Intern sez:

Chicago Bears @ Atlanta Falcons

Falcons RB Michael Turner hopes to pad his league-leading rushing totals at home against a sturdy Bears D.  Meanwhile, Bears QB Kyle Orton aspires to continue his recent trend of stunning competence.  I trust Orton about as far as I can throw him, which may actually be farther than ol’ neckbeard himself can toss a football.  Look for the Falcons to step up and take this one, while also shaving some points off Orton’s QB rating.

Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings

God, this is depressing.  The Lions are faring about as well as the U.S. economy on both sides of the ball.  You know things are bad when one of the other team’s receivers (Bernard Berrian) is being touted as a top fantasy option, even though it hasn’t yet been determined that he’ll actually play in the game.

Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Panthers sport a voracious D and an emerging offense that’s coming off a 34-0 pasting of the Chiefs last week.  The Bucs narrowly lost to the Broncos, who lost to Kansas City two weekends ago.  Go figure.  I think the Bucs can pull this one out, though — even if only because I need a piece of bandwagon driftwood to cling to this season as my Lions sink into a watery grave.

St. Louis Rams @ Washington Redskins

Rams RB Steven Jackson apparently spent his week off “getting in football shape”.  A third of the way into the season.  Still, it’s hard to fault Jackson for his lackadaisical approach to conditioning, seeing that the only team out there the pathetic Rams might have a shot at besting is — that’s right, folks — Detroit.  Too bad they’re playing the Redskins this week instead.  Good luck with that one, boys.

Euchre Bot 5000 sez (home teams in caps):

DENVER BRONCOS > Jacksonville Jaguars, Dallas Cowboys > ARIZONA CARDINALS, Philadelphia Eagles > SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS, New York Giants > CLEVELAND BROWNS (Monday night).

Death … to … all … humans.  Whir.  Click.  Beep.

Yeah, we shit the bed this week and got the picks up a little bit late.  Our laundry list of excuses: Snider’s caught up in Rays fever while simultaneously battling the ravages of age through an exercise program ostensibly designed by the Ultimate Warrior; Sal’s embroiled in a vicious smear campaign against a myriad of minor annoyances; Bardi’s chained himself to his desk in a preemptive effort to thwart the repo man and shouts, “Unhand me, you knave!” whenever someone approaches.  I myself am deep in the midst of a top-secret project that absolutely necessitated attending last night’s GWAR concert at Jannus Landing and getting astonishingly drunk whilst being showered with (hopefully) fake bodily fluids.

So, yeah, compiling the football predictions for this week was a bit of a logistical nightmare.

Joe Bardi sez:

Cincinnati Bengals @ Dallas Cowboys

So much for the undefeated season. Dallas looked positively mortal last week while getting smoked by arch-rival Washington. To make matters worse, T.O.’s post-game presser went a long way toward reestablishing the wide out as a locker room cancer. Fortunately, the antibiotics Dallas needs has arrived in the form of the god-awful Cincinnati Bengals. Possibly the worst team in the league, the orange cats will serve as a suitable punching bag upon which the Cowboys can pound their season back into shape. If the Boys are ever going to put up 40 on the scoreboard, this is the week.

Buffalo Bills @ Arizona Cardinals

Poor Arizona. Last week, the Cards got torched by Father Time and the Jets, surrendering 56 points before the bloodshed was through. This week, its another AFC East foe on the agenda, as the 4-0 Buffalo Bills ride into town looking to beat down the Cardinals and head into the bye week undefeated. Don’t expect Buffalo to put up the kind of points the Jets did, but don’t expect the Cards to put up much of a fight either. And someone get Kurt Warner to retire already!

New England Patriots @ San Francisco 49ers

Head-scratcher of the week. New England is coming off a bye week, and I have to believe that Belichick will have the Patriots ready to play. The Niners are, at best, a wildly inconsistent squad that can put up points almost as fast as they surrender them. This contest comes down to which New England team shows up. If the Pats look anything like the team that won 21 regular season games in a row, the game will be over early. However, if New England looks like the team that Miami ran over two weeks ago, San Fran just might have a change. At this point, New England is a three point favorite. Flip a coin. Then bet the opposite of whatever the coin says to do.

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans

What is the status of the Colts? At 1-2, another loss will spell trouble for a franchise that has become a playoff regular. It’s luck of the draw that Indy has to deal with the lowly 0-3 Texans this week. Can Manning right the ship? (Is there any doubt?) Can the defense come together without Bob Sanders? (They always seem to.) I expect the Colts to show steady improvment throughout the rest of the season, with the team peaking right as the playoffs start. And that march to the postseason begins this week with a 28-14 victory in Houston.

Fantastic Sal Sez:

San Diego Chargers @ Miami Dolphins

Hmm.  Something tells me the Fins used up their three wishes to the NFL genie two weeks ago when: 1. They beat the Patriots, 2. They destroyed the Patriots on their home turf and 3. Ricky Williams didn’t light up a victory ganja.  Welcome back to reality, boys.

Tennessee Titans @ Baltimore Ravens

Another match-up of top-ranked defenses that no amount of editing and inspiring Sam Spence music can make watchable in the highlight reel.  But it’s also my stone-cold, lead-pipe lock of the week: Titans 2, Ravens 0.

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles

So you’ve just come off a nationally televised upset of the Cowboys, and your reward is: The Eagles.  In Philadeliphia.  A team, by the way, that was upset by the Bears.  The good news for the Redskins is that the Eagles secondary tends to give up big plays.  Take the Skins and the points.

The Lowly Intern sez:

Chicago Bears @ Detroit Lions

Expectations soar improve slightly for the Lions in their first game After Millen.  Unfortunately, the steaming pile Millen left behind remains intact.  Look for Bears rookie RB Matt Forte to prove that bitchslapping Detroit’s defenseless defense is indeed his, ahem, forte.

Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers

The Falcons bring a league-best ground game to the not-yet-frozen tundra to take on a Packers D that’s so far been as porous as a moldy block of swiss cheese against the run.  Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is also nursing a sore shoulder.  Somewhere, Brett Favre is watching with a grizzled smirk on his face, perhaps while also enjoying a nutritious bye-week snack of rusty nails and fresh blood.  Atlanta runs amok, and irate Packers fans pelt Rodgers with an array of feminine hygeine products.

Seattle Seahawks @ New York Giants

Even without WR Plaxico Burress available to lend his expertise, the Giants shouldn’t have any trouble resolving this domestic dispute on their home turf against a suddenly frisky Seahawks air attack.  New York in a romp.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Carolina Panthers

You gotta be kidding me.  A feckless Chiefs team heads off the reservation only to get mauled by a resurgent Panthers offense.  Next.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Denver Broncos

The question isn’t whether or not the Bucs can put points on the board against Denver’s “reluctant matador” style of defense.  The question is whether or not they can contain the Broncos vaunted passing game enough to make those points stick.  It’s close, but I lean toward no.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Pittsburgh’s Super Bowl hopes took a huge blow with last week’s season-ending injury to RB Rashard Mendenhall.  This week, they turn to something called Mewelde Moore.  Ew.  I think the Jaguars pounce on this dinged-up Steelers crew, and gain some Super Bowl momentum of their own.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints (Monday Night)

Classic matchup.  The Vikes bring a punishing rushing attack and a stout defense, while the Saints feature the league’s most prolific air show.  If this was a real football game (i.e. outdoors, preferably in inclement weather) I’d heavily favor Minnesota.  Coincidentally, both teams play in domes, which means the Saints would have the advantage here both at home and on the road.  Too close to call, but my magic 8-ball says, “Fucking Awesome.”

Time for another round of pigskin prognostications nobody seems to care about — yet.  We’re hard at work developing a series of bribes that should change your tune right quick, Tampa Bay.  But in the meantime, we’re just going to keep ramming this thing down your throats like Max Hardcore on a meth bender.

This week in football, Detroit Lions fans everywhere (all 13 of us!) rejoiced when staggeringly incompetent General Manager Matt Millen was finally ousted after seven years of — you guessed it — staggering incompetence.

Unfortunately for the rest of the country, Mr. Millen was then immediately summoned to Washington as an emergency financial consultant.

Onward to this week’s picks …

Eric Snider sez:

Green Bay Packers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

A tough call here.  Bucs are one-point favorites, playing on their home field after an emotional OT victory, which could help their confidence.  At this point, it’s hard to tell how good — or bad — the Bucs really are.  I wouldn’t touch this bet, but I’ll pick Tampa Bay (especially if the team deactivates second-round pick, kick returner Dexter “Slip-Slidin’ Away” Jackson.  Can you be a bust by your third NFL game?)

Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars

The line is Jax by eight — I’d give the points and take the Jags.  Houston looks like they’ve regressed.  Jax can run it all day and their late, come-from-behind win over Indy should be a confidence booster.

San Diego Chargers @ Oakland Raiders

Oakland gets eight points here too, and that’s substantial.  The temptation is to think that SD has finally arrived and that Oakland, with its lame-duck coach, is dead in the water.  I’m picking the Chargers to win, but not to cover.

Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears

This was going to be Snider’s lead pipe-lock-bet-the-ranch-can’t-miss special.  But Brian Westbrook is hurt, so I’ve downgraded this pick to Snider’s lead pipe-lock-bet-the-ranch special.  Westbrook or no, Philly can score, and their defense will swarm Bears QB Kyle Orton.  The line is Philly by three.  Give the points and take the Iggles.

Fantastic Sal sez:

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Monday Night)

The Ravens and Steelers are one-two in total defense, meaning this potentially low-scoring affair should be the perfect tonic for anyone who misses those NHL Norris Division battles of yore.  I hope the states of Pennsylvania and Maryland enjoy watching this MNF dose of gridiron valium.  Take the Steelers, I guess.

Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs

Time was when Arrowhead Stadium and “home-field advantage” were synonymous.  No longer, which makes this the perfect occasion for us to refine the whole “home-field advantage” axiom: Being at home might make a good team play better, but it can’t make a bad team suck less.  Denver in a romp.

Buffalo Bills @ St. Louis Rams

To steal a phrase from the obnoxious Chris Berman, the Buffalo Bills have circled the wagons and are on their way to 4-0 at the quarter mark of the season.  At least once they get through with the hapless Rams, who are at the bottom of the league in offense AND defense.  And have just turned to perennial journeyman/concussion liability Trent Green as QB.  Considering the Bills’ subpar record in domes, I’m tempted to take the Rams and the points.  Just not that tempted.

Joe Bardi sez:

Cleveland Browns @ Cincinatti Bengals

Possibly the ugliest dog fight since Michael Vick’s last Christmas party. The Bengals and Browns have come to define futility and mediocrity for the 2008 NFL season. Lackluster play is nothing new for the heartless Bengals, but the Browns were supposed to be a serious playoff contender. Someone has to win, right? Actually, no. They don’t. When the zebras blow the whistle on overtime, the score will stand 9-9 and both teams will remain winless.

San Francisco 49ers @ New Orleans Saints

This one has got “shootout” written all over it, especially since both teams play defense about as well as 20th-century France. Sure, San Fran beat the Seahawks and New Orleans bested our hometown Buccaneers, but neither team can be trusted to play well on any given Sunday. Take the Saints, but only because they seem to have the Niners’ number, winning seven of the last 10 meetings and all three games since 2004.

Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys

I’m tempted to go with the Cowboys, who seem to be on a roll that might soon begin to resemble New England’s epic season from a year ago. However, I have watched a lot of Cowboys/Redskins match-ups in my day. You see, growing up I was a Dallas fan and my brother was a staunch DC defender. I can recall far too many meetings where I trash-talked a lackluster Skins squad, only to see them best a superior Cowboys team in the end. Call it 21-20 Cowboys, or call my brother on Monday and congratulate him.

The Lowly Intern sez:

Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers

The remarkably unoriginal Falcons plan to copy a current trend against the Cats and utilize scatback Jerious Norwood in the direct snap shotgun formation this week.  Unfortunately for him, the end result should be a bunch of direct shots to the chinstrap; especially from loaded weapons Jon Beason and Julius Peppers.  Carolina covers not only the spread, but also the field — with Norwood’s remains.  Yeesh.

Minnesota Vikings @ Tennessee Titans

Never underestimate the potential impact of Vikes RB Adrian “All Day” Peterson against any given defense; even one as good as the Tits’, which so far resembles anything but a bunch of boobs on the opposite side of the ball.  Fuck, man, I need Peterson to have a big game as much as anyone (he is, after all, the crown jewel of my fantasy squad), but I don’t see it happening here.  I hate to say it: “All Day” becomes “Not Today” this time out.  Take Vince’s Young Men and laugh all the way to the shrink.

Arizona Cardinals @ New York Jets

This one’s for you, Amanda: Jets 41, Cards 17.  Incidentally, I loathe Kurt “Chachi” Warner almost as much as I worship Brett Favre (and would gladly bear the latter’s man-babies).  Jesus may love you, Kurt, but you’re going down in flames against the real American Idol.

Many of us at CL share an unhealthy obsession avid interest in one of America’s most myopic beloved pastimes: Betting on football.  So, we’ve decided to put our heads together and offer you some bizarre observations expert analysis on this week’s NFL matchups (just in case anyone out there needs a little help pissing away Junior’s college fund).

Eric Snider sez:

Atlanta Falcons @ Tampa Bay Bucs

Gruden just landed the lead in the sequel to Liar Liar — Garcia’s allegedly hurt and Griese takes over at QB.  Brooks is gimpy.  No matter: Bet the pink slip on the Bucs.  Last week’s Falcon’s win was a fluke.

New England Patriots @ New York Jets

Chin up, Pats fans.  Tom Brady was a late-round pick who took over for an injured guy.  Expect Matt Cassell to do the same.  Yeah, right.  Look for more improbable Favre magic — e.g. throwing the ball straight in the air with his eyes closed for a TD — to lead to a Jets win.

Read the rest of this entry »

Finally, a speech from the RNC worthy of posting in these pages. It wasn’t a home run (you have to say some — anything! — substantial to get the A+), but V.P. Palin definitely held her own. Tonight, Johnny Mac closes the show.

• Rather than level with the public to earn their vote, the Republicans would rather resort to exaggeration and outright lying.
• A message from the RNC to community organizers and faith-based charities: Go fuck yourself!
• No, really Peggy Noonan, what do you think of Palin as V.P.? (Cover the kids ears.)
• And what of poor, overqualified and passed-over Kay Bailey Hutchison?
• Biden says the Obama administration will prosecute Bush administration officials who broke the law.
• Oil keeps on dropping. Where’s the bottom?
• Two storms churn in the Atlantic.
• The NFL season kicks off today. USA Today is there with 10 pressing questions.