Daily Loaf

I’m thinking about starting up my own cutting edge, fantasy league.  It will be a year-round event that will incorporate all major sports into one giant competition.

How am I constructing this league, you ask?  How will I determine whether a home run holds more value than a touchdown or a triple-double?  The answer is simple, my friends.

Athletes will no longer be judged by their statistics on the field but rather by their performance off of it.

I’m calling my new league the Misdemeanor/Felony Fantasy League or the M.F.L.  It’s bound to attract thousands of participants nationwide so get in while you can.  I’m still working on an effective scoring system, but here’s what I’ve come up with so far.  Suggestions, as always, are welcome: Read the rest of this entry »

Web TV site Hulu plans to run the Obama inauguration in its entirety. Their player is even embeddable on other sites. Not too shabby.

I had a dream the other night that I was on a transatlantic flight on its way to Africa. I was sitting next to a man in a brown jacket, clown pants and Jesus sandals who kept repeating, “Down we go.” That should have given me a clue to the unfortunate end to my dream, or nightmare, but it didn’t. Suddenly, the no-smoking sign started flashing a blood-red color and the pilot got on the intercom and said something along the lines of, “We are going down, hold on to your fucking hats.” I couldn’t really make out what he said, but I’ve always thought that would be the best way to break the news to the passengers. If we’re going to die, I don’t want to hear, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to bring an unfortunate situation to your attention. Blah, blah, blah.” Cut to the chase, man! Anyway, to make a long story short, we plummeted thousands of feet into an island and, magically, I was the only survivor. That is the point when I woke up. And for some batshit crazy reason, the first thing I thought of was an episode of The Office when the employees play Desert Island. This taught me something about myself: Apparently, if I were the sole survivor of a plane crash on a deserted island, the most important thing to me would be what movies I was carrying on me and how I could watch them. So, if that were to happen, and if there were a television and DVD player on this said island, these are the movies I would take… Read the rest of this entry »