Daily Loaf

It’s a big week for me, with the premiere of New Moon and the season finale of Project Runway, so despite my sudden fever and inability to breathe through my nose, I am excited and ready for some recapping!

To catch you all up, we are in New York and it’s just a couple days before the show at Bryant Park and poor Carol Hannah is blorching in the bathroom at the hotel. Before we even begin, I, for the record, am on Team Carol Hannah for the win. I love the evening looks, the dresses, the classic style, the drama, the frufiness, I love it all. One of my BFFs, Amanda W, is on Team Althea. We have a bet, loser buys the other one a Starbucks drink. If Irina wins, we all lose, as a human race, for allowing such a crazy be-otch to hold the title of Project Runway Winner. That is my stance on that.

From what I can tell, the workroom was basically just a mess of chaos, alterations, annoyance and tears for two days. I can understand though, I want to cry for Carol Hannah, she is beyond sick, I cannot imagine working under that kind of pressure while being that ill, ugh! At least she has Logan to comfort her, someone Wikipedia that and tell me they ended up married … I really want that happy ending. In non-loving news, Althea and Irina seem to be sharing brain waves yet again with the makeup look, bringing Althea to tears, the third workroom-cry within the first 10 minutes of the show … I’m no expert but that might be a record.

When they finally got to the tents, the chaos went from yikes to redonkulous. I have never seen Tim Gunn as upset as he got backstage at the runway show. No one was ready and he was not the least bit pleased. He ALMOST YELLED!!!! I cannot believe it, but seriously, these girls are a mess, models aren’t dressed, hair isn’t done. Big. Huge. Mess.

After the jump find out who wins, who loses and who has to buy Starbucks, or if we just lose as a planet.

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Finally, it’s almost time for Bryant Park! Before we can get back to New York City though, we have to visit the designers in their hometowns and deal with a few surprises along the way.

Carol Hannah moved to the suburbs of NY and is no longer living in her car, which is good.
She is inspired by Duke and the ethereal architecture of the campus. The architecture is evident in her collection and it really is quite beautiful. I am happy with her collection, very Carol Hannah. Tim’s activity with her family is my favorite of this show, making a traditional southern dinner with her adorable family. How cute is Tim in that apron!?!?! Loooove it, I think he has a future on Top Chef, who’s with me?
And then to bring the cuteness meter to an all-time Runway high…Oh my god, did you see her and Tim in the snow holding hands? They are too much, for serious. I want to hold hands with Tim and saunter through the snow. A girl can dream…

Irina is next on the list of home visits and she is living in NYC and shockingly, her dog is just as annoying as she is, fabulous. Her inspiration is Coney Island, which is special and weird and I am not sure if I get it. An then there is fur, ugh, I hate fur…I am not loving this collection. It’s very Real Housewives of New York. In typical NY style, her family time with Tim is at a restaurant and well, it’s a bit dull. Her mom is proud, her dad doesn’t approve, wah wah wah. Let’s allllll feel bad for Irina.

Althea has decided to create her collection in the bustling metropolis/fashion capital of the midwest of Dayton, Ohio. She has also chosen to work in a building with scariest elevator EVER, like Tower of Terror kind of fear flashed across Tim’s face. Oh yeah, we are here to see her collection, not Tim fall through an elevator shaft. So, I like what I’m seeing from Althea, it’s interesting but soooooo much, so much fabric and layering. What an adorable little midwestern family and her cute boyfriend it a Cosby sweater. Awwwww, I really want to see one of these small town girls make it in the big city.

We learn one last tidbit of info before heading off to the big city, Irina is using trademarked images from Coney Island for one of her pieces so she has to change it out. Hmmmmmm, interesting. Who’s stealing now be-otch!! Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Now, onto New York!!!!

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I think the editors have finally started to pay attention to this little blogger here in St. Pete, because we automatically start this week by learning that Althea and Irina aren’t speaking. Love it…finally Irina picked on the wrong girl. I have the feeling that Althea has a little trailer park in her and we all know, those girls can fight. Watch your back Meana Irina, watch. your. back.
Besides those two lovely ladies giving each other the silent treatment, Gordana, Carol Hannah and Christopher are the only designers around. And Chris looks soooooo lonely in that little apartment all by himself. Are the girls not allowed to move over there? Because I am pretty sure that would relieve some of the tension, thicker than Gordana’s accent, that is happening in Casa de la Girlies.

The challenge this week, the final challenge if you hadn’t gathered that from the 400 times they have said it, brings us to The Getty Center, which is apparently the heart of Los Angeles culture but seems mostly like a mish-mosh of art stuff. Whatever, I like it, it gives the designers some freedom to show their point of view. I like all the inspirations they have chosen from the Getty Center, but am a little concerned because so far they haven’t done awesome with that whole “get inspired” thing…I have faith in them though, except for Gordana. I have no faith in Gordana, ever.

I am really wishing I would have kept a log of how many negative things Irina said about people throughout this episode, because she is on it tonight, at least in the double digits. Did anyone else hear her call Carol Hannah a cute dog? That is not a compliment. I love a good Jack Russell terrier as much as the next girl but I do not ever want to be called one…just mean, so mean. Despite some messy looks and harsh critiques from Tim Gunn, everyone is keeping it together…untiiiiiiil the crazy Eastern European starts talking about her spiritual dress or some crap. Yep, we got our first cry of the show from your fave and mine, Gordana. Prepare yourself, because I don’t want to spoil anything but let’s just say the cry count is going up like the spaceship this week, straight to the moon (is it wrong that this makes me happy?).

The editing is really making it looks like every single designer gets torn apart on the runway. But do they??

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It’s getting down to the wire now, with six designers left to duke it out for a spot at Bryant Park. They started the episode by facing away from the runway to get their challenge info, which kinda sorta makes them all look like they are in time out and Heidi is their disappointed teacher. But it’s all clear when their “winning looks” are on stage and they have to make a companion piece, another riveting challenge (insert sarcastic eyeroll here). Wait, most of their “winning looks.” Logan just has a random look up there, because he has never won a challenge, but when you look that good in real life, you don’t need to actually win a challenge, you just need to be there and smile pretty. He clearly lives in “the bubble” but I think the girls out there will agree when I say he can live in my bubble any day (Heyyo, see what I did there. Ok, I don’t totally get it either but shhhhh, its been a long week.)

Gordana…yikes.

The workroom is a little dullish but we do get a random backstory on Gordana, complete with stock photos of some kids in a third world country. Twenty bucks says that isn’t even her and another twenty says she is getting auf’ed. We also learn that Gordana is only 44. WOW, she needs to get some Oil of Olay in the worst way possible.

Meana Irina

Generally, I like to see the designers making nice but I am uncomfortable with the Althea-Irina friendship, joining forces in hating Logan for stealing a collar idea from Althea. I have thoughts on this,. The first one is that it was an ugly collar the first time, it is still pretty ugly, Althea needs to calm it down and keep inhaling those In-N-Out fries. Second, I would really like some of those In-N-Out fries. That’s it.

We did learn that the other designers have a little nickname for the resident beotch, Meana Irina. Living up to her name, it only took her about four and half seconds to back out of her alliance with Althea, accusing that little blonde bombshell of stealing the sweater idea. Irina is a one woman drama machine…I kinda never want her to leave, what would I write about?!

Okay, okay, I know that we are all on pins and needles so let’s do this. On to the runway and I am hoping for a cat fight, I saw it in the previews…don’t tease me Lifetime!

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We are officially Shirin-less this week aaaaaaand I like it. There is already a sense of peace and calm amongst the designers, take it in; it’s lovely isn’t it? Now that we have had a little moment of zen, it’s time to get extremely bored and then overly stressed. You ready? I am.

Even Michael Kors looks pissed he got this challenge.

Michael Kors is the big designer presenting them with the challenge, the inspiration challenge.  Choose a location and use it as your inspiration for your next garment, mmmmmk, that’s a bit dull but I suppose that compared to The Sultan of Sequins last week, nothing will ever be good enough. At least they could have to make a dress out of food or rocks or live animals, something! Nope, let’s see what they come up with when asked to design something inspired by the bustling metropolis of Santa Fe! (say that in a Price is Right voice, it’s way funnier)
Since this challenge is about as thrilling as watching Chris sew little pieces of leather onto a belt, lets take quick second to talk about something that has been bothering me for quite some time: Althea, she is the worst dresser EVER. She should stop shopping at the Rave, no one looks good in a metallic, flesh toned half-backless tank, no one.
My favorite little shit-talker, Irina, is in meany-mode yet again, which seems to be her new schtick. She also wins the quote of the week award while explaining her garment to Tim Gunn: “you know, it’s casual but it’s still dressed up.” We get it Irina, it’s like the mullet of the runway, right?. Way to keep it classy, beotch. Can you tell I reeeeeally dislike this girl? She would probably make me cry myself to sleep. I retract that statement, she would DEFINITELY make me cry myself to sleep.
Also, we have a breakthrough in the mental breakdown count, though we do not see it, Nicolas claims one so I am adding it to the list. Judging from this display of chaos on runway day, they should all be having breakdowns. This is looking desperate.

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Tonight is a night of weddings on my television: I am going straight from the Jim & Pam wedding on The Office to Project Runway, Wedding Edition. The difference? Runway is a little less “Yay, Love!” and a little more “Boo, Men.” Good transition TV, though I feel all sorts of confused now.

So if you haven’t seen the episode, because you live under a rock or lack basic cable or have something cool to do on Thursday nights, the challenge was to take the wedding gowns of their divorcee clients and make them useful for their new husband-free lives. To add a little more stress, because apparently polyester, lace and satin aren’t enough, this is another one-dayer.

The only real “drama” this week came in the form of not one, but two cries. Gordana made the call home to the kids and burst into tears, which brings me back to my theory — either she is getting auf’ed or they are trying to make us like her more (only time will tell and ooooooh does it).

The second cry of the night belongs to Shirin (pictured left in a moment of depression that totally sums up this challenge) and it has nothing to do with her being accosted by another designer due to her incessant chatting and everything to do with her client wanting to look like a slutty, Cher-ish, peacock. I would cry too, cuz that is just real crazy.

Moment of the night: Tim’s reaction to acetate. Sheer disgust.

Now, the Runway, where things get … well, I said “oh….no, that’s bad” a lot.

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*Kate Gosselin has been offered $400,000 to pose for Playboy. I propose that Hugh take that money and offer it to Jon Gosselin to never speak in public ever again. I think it is time that Playboy does something good for the world and this is a win-win…because no one wants to see a mother of eight’s vajayjay — no one.

*Remember that neoprene number Ra’mon won with on Project Runway a couple weeks ago? (If not, you can check it out here.) According to Tim Gunn, who never lies or is wrong about anything ever so I totally believe him, the dress was dyed in the toilet at FIDM. Here is my question…is that dye or 2000 Flushes? I won’t judge but really, it’s a legit question.

*Megan Fox has opened her mouth again. Calling Michael Bay, the mastermind behind such films as The Rock, Armageddon and apparently Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall (who knew?!), “Hitler” and a “nightmare.” His revenge? Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to Project Runway, episode three. Finally we got to see some claws come out AND a Runway first in the elimination. This is the Project Runway we all know and love.

But let’s rewind, I can’t get ahead of myself, even though I want to, because there is a lot of ground to cover. Things start off innocently enough, California, beaches, surfer girls, Tim Gunn in a blazer on the beach…yes, he wears a blazer to the beach, that man is all class, all the time. Also, in case you forgot about their sponsor, who they showed every ten minutes for the first 2 episodes, Garnier is the most amazing hair product ever and you should probably go buy some right now so that you too can have luscious, model-like locks (insert hair flip and smile here).

Now, I looooove group challenges, but I really loooooove doubles challenges because there is no middle child to keep the peace. Seeing two people try and make nice while not knowing a damn thing about the other one and secretly resenting that person is my style of reality TV. Watching this episode was like watching an arranged marriage go down in flames, big, fluffy, satin and neoprene flames. Read the rest of this entry »

Let me begin by saying that, for maybe the third time in our relationship, my DVR let me down. How can we have plans every Thursday at 10 and yet it fails me the one time I don’t turn on my TV until 10:10pm?! I do not understand it, you have one job in life Mr. DVR. One! That said, I join you 10 minutes into this weeks episode of Project Runway. From what I have gathered, Rebecca Romijn is there, she is “with child” as they say in the Bible, and she wants a snazzy new look to flatter the large lump in her stomach that holds what is guaranteed to be a gorgeous set of twins.

The work room is kind of a hot mess this week, and not just because of those hormones. (Get it? Cuz they are making clothes for pregnant ladies!) Mitchell is throwing around shorts fit for the fat lady at the state fair as opposed to a fake-pregnant model, and Malvin has opted to wrap his belly in … gauze? I guess that’s convenient if the woman suddenly goes into labor, but that’s also real gross. Speaking of Malvin (who sounds oddly similar to Michael Jackson) … did you catch that look of death he gave Tim Gunn!? If Tim ends up dead in Brooklyn, beaten to death by hipster scarves, I think we all know who to blame.

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Eric Dane, aka McSteamy

*Video has surfaced that indicates Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler, may have been drunk when he fell off a stage and broke some stuff, and by stuff I mean bones.  I am beside myself.  This is about as shocking as the moment I realized Brett Michaels is kind of a skeezeball.

*Something about Michael Jackson and the doctors or homicide or pills or something.  I don’t know, I am sure they will blame someone else next week.  Moving on.

*We got to see McSteamy’s “anatomy” (Do you see what I did there? Hilarious, I know) in the sex tape leaked/released at an opportune time just before the fall premieres, of Seattle’s second hottest surgeon….But it doesn’t stop there folks.

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Tonight as we all watched the long-awaited premiere of Project Runway, the Costume Diva was left wondering….
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Before they graced our eyes, ears and hearts with a new season of Project Runway, the geniuses over at Lifetime made us sit through an extra two hours of commercial time, most of which promoted, you guessed it, Lifetime.  Sorry, but I am still not tuning into the Sherri Shepherd show.

Aaaaaanyway, when it comes to the contestants, these were not the best of the best, but then again, what reality show really brings in the best of the best for these “all star” reunions?  Other than the Real World/Road Rules Challenges, obviously.  They were fan faves, though, so I will accept the group (if they asked my opinion Christian would be on every single episode ever, but they did not).

*First off, I have to say what I know we are ALL thinking was glossed over by the producers: Jeffrey has left his babymomma?! For that wicked witch of the west looking girl?! And to sing in a shitty band and wear his self-promoting band shirt for the entire episode?! Cool factor, fail.

More recapping after the jump…

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I think Franki really put it best yesterday as she recapped the emotional rollercoaster that the last year has been for us Runway fans.  But alas, it happened and we get to experience a rollercoaster of tears and sewing needles with a whole new set of designers to love, hate, forget and quote.  So, without further ado, let’s bring on the crazy.

Right out of the gate, we learn that Ra’mon dropped out of med school?? Unbelievable, I need to see the paperwork on that.  Can someone provide me with his transcripts, please?  Thank you in advance. Ra’mon also logged the first cry of the season.  Congrats, Ra’mon, you just lost your man-card. (I have been informed by a male friend that he probably did not have one to begin with; he has a solid point.)
Then there is Nicolas, aka the “Feather Prince,” which is how I shall refer to him for the remainder of the season, who is winning me over already with his quote of the night, maybe the season…. Read the rest of this entry »

Waiting for tonight’s 10 p.m. debut of Project Runway: Season 6 has caused almost as much “drama, drama, drama” as Christian Siriano’s sketch of his wedding dress for Uma Thurman. First, we thought the show had been auf’d. Then, we heard it was moving to Lifetime. Then, Bravo pitched a fit and the whole shebang was taken off the air.

We mourned. We wore black in honor of the demise of the greatest fashion show, nay, the greatest reality show of all time.

But then Heidi Klum (pictured) gave us Read the rest of this entry »

When I’m not stalking former Idol contestants, I’m counting down the days, OK the hours, till the next season of Project Runway. With just a couple weeks to go before the long-overdue season premiere on Aug. 20, my Tim Gunn-themed Advent Calendar is getting a lot of use.

Even though I’m pretty upset about that whole “it’s on Lifetime now” stab in the heart, I decided I needed to find some dirt or at least info on the new contestants. Well, I was delighted to see that Lifetime has already posted contestant profiles!

So ladies (and a few gentlemen who dare to visit the Lifetime website to watch the videos and play along), let’s judge these designer hopefuls before we know anything concrete about them, shall we?

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Bravo network’s Project Runway Season 4 winner, Christian Siriano, has blessed us lowly Payless Shoe Source scavengers with a new Egyptian-inspired shoe and handbag line. Equipped with spikes that resemble the horns on a baby rhino, Cuban-style heels and bronzy punk rock chains, the turquoise, brown and gold collection launches in September.

See Siriano’s bargain beauties after the break:

What else could we expect from the fiercest of them all?

Siriano captivated Project Runway viewers with his poufy-sleeved, voluminously eccentric creations while impressing the judges with his couture craftsmanship. I never thought his work could be affordable, but with the new collection ringing up at $25-$45 (my limit for just about everything), even bargain bin bunnies can snag a pair.

These beauties do have an air of ouch, but who’s walking? Wear them to dinner, cocktails, or a movie with dark skinnies. For daytime, rock them with capri-length boyfriend jeans with a crisp white cotton button-down shirt.

My eye is on the strappy chain-link heels on the top row and the sassy spiked shoes in the lower row — which pair of Siriano’s creations can you see yourself teetering upon come Fall?

Do we really need to tell you anymore? Isn’t the headline enough? No? Here’s more: Kenley Collins — hands down The Most Annoying Project Runway Contestant Ever (and that’s quite a distinction considering the competition) — not only threw a cat at her hapless, luckless, apparently taste-free fiance. She also threw a laptop at him. And hit him with a door. And three apples. Three, count ‘em, three. (Macintosh? Delicious? We need details!)

Or so say the cops, and the New York Post. Here’s the whole story:

“Project Runway” finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today after assaulting her fiance with their cat, authorities said today.

After throwing the feline, a laptop computer, and three apples at Zak Penley, Collins, 26, was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon (of meow destruction).

“It was a miscommunication,” Collins told The Post after getting released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court yesterday morning. Read the rest of this entry »